Guys, why do you send mixed signals?

So I really like this guy and he knows it but lets start from square one,
Im currently living in Chicago and his in Ohio but Im moving to Ohio soon so distance will no longer be an issue,
So one day he message me on facebook dm and for the next month he was super flirty... not really ever in a dirty way but just in a cute way.
Then he ghosted me for about a month, disconnected all connections, it was right about after I blasted him for flirting with other girls but now i regret it because we where never official. After the month he added me back and we started to talk and now, we talk but one day we would talk for hours and it would be sweet, next its quite short.
--i told him i like him but he never actually said "i like you too"
--he would always compliment me so obvs I thought he liked me too
--some convos we have are quite flirty but he never actually calls me beautiful anymore...

I read somewhere guys just flirt and compliment girls until they get them where they want them and once that happens, they give up, how do I approach this topic to him

-I also asked him if he likes talking to me and he said yes and he usually snaps me first so Im guessing thats kinda a good sign?

All advise is greatly appreciated, ty in advance :)

Updates:
Im get more advise when my question isn't featured what is this? please help guys i really need it!!!
please help meee

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A number of reasons lead guys to send mixed signals to a girl. A prevalent reason for this behaviour is when they are unsure whether the girl would reciprocate the feelings.

    Mixed signalling is a technique the guy uses not only to shield himself from rejection but to determine if the girl likes him or not.

    Too often girls think that being a guy means he is genetically immune to the hurtful feelings of rejection, or he is naturally made to expressed his feelings confidently without the shame and knock-on effect of rejections.

    The guy uses niceties and other eager-to-please actions to keep the girl within touching distance while acting as if he is not interest.

    More so, mixed signalling is a smart seduction technique for attracting women or men. Too often amateur daters think by consistently showering love and praises to a guy or girl is a better way to win their hearts. In fact, experienced, skillful daters understand displaying lack of interest and sending conflict signals not only makes the the target (e. g. the girl) confused, but provokes sexual attraction and weakens the target's defense mechanism.

    Do not forget at the onset when the guy was overtly displaying interest in you might have realised afterward you no longer excite him. It's perfectly okay for him to send I'm-no-longer-interested signals. It is a good thing for the guy to bail out at this stage instead after the relationship has started.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you ever rejected him in some way? I think showing jealously about him flirting with girls might have scared him off a bit. What he did wasn't right (ghosting you), but you shouldn't have came off too strong. I know this is the typical answer, but I think you should be open with him about whats the deal with you two.

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    • thanks for the advise and i realise that i came off too strong and i totally regret it its just he made me feel like i was his one and only, and then to hear he was flirting with other girls too it actually really hurt... how should i ask him?

    • I get what you mean about feeling hurt, it sucks when you really like someone, and they do something like that. Guys are a mindfuck tbh, even though they say they're straightforward and simple, they're really not. I think you should just be like we should talk about whats going on between us, since I'm moving closer to you, I just want to know what is the situation between us?

    • hmm alright thanks!!!

What Guys Said 16

  • well if you regret something miss why would you move to another location if he does not treat you like a lover and as a person I apppreciate you giving me this message usually if someone does not talk to you for a month he actually moves on from them with someone else or why would he not tell you and not call you beautiful anymore and why would he talk to you if he was talking to someone else as well do you think that different people feels the same as you do I feel like you do I care about people like you and would talk to you and even see you face to face sometime and I would tell that you are beautiful for who are and you are very spritual too

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    • im a little confused sorrry but thanks for the advise x

    • 3mo

      you are a very beautiful girl Asker love is a mysterious thing some people would not say that but I would say that you are beautiful all the time what would you think my personalities are as a person at the top of your head right now and I am different kind of a person I am a person with a dissability would you dedicate your life to grow a relationship with me or just being friends and I know we have not met each other if you put in there position what would you feel

  • I will name some random things and then you can see if it applies to you.

    Games: Although girls all say "I don't play games" the truth is that there isn't a guy alive above the age of 12 that isn't sick of those games. When they occur you think "not another one". Some guys will continue and some guys will walk away from the girl or won't send anymore signals that he likes

    Girls sending the wrong/no signals: I have seen to many women trying to not show that they like the guy. For example by saying hello to everybody except the guy they like and more of that stuff. What are you suppose to think as a guy? Guys will think she doesn't like him, so his heart gets broken and he will just move on to another girl.

    Girls sending waaaayyy toooo subtle signals: This explains itself. The signals are not clear, so he thinks "Does she like me at all". To protect his heart he will move on to the next girl.

    Guys don't want to be used: Most guys had to deal with girls that just want to keep the guy around so he can do stuff for them. However she has already made up her mind that she doesn't want him. So when he is unsure about her feelings for him he starts to think about the many times this has happened to him or his friends.

    Girls losing interest when you tell them you like them: So the guy will not say he likes her. Why? Because most likely it has happened to him before or to his friends. Her challenge is gone after saying it so her interest swings to another guy. And most likely she will still keep him around to boost her ego.

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  • Most guys will back off a lot if they see signs of a girl showing jelous tendencies or being possessive , especially if there is not commitment made

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  • I can't tell if you're being serious or not. If you aren't sure then ask him! You wouldn't believe how many times I say this a day. If you aren't sure about some bodies feelings toward you then you ask them what they are! Simple as that boom problem solved.

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  • It sounds like a social media romance. I hope it works out for you two. Maybe be a bit Easter on him your not exclusive yet.

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    • easter? haha i get what you mean. yeah i should be, any advise? if you where in his shoes how would you like a girl to approach this situation?

    • Well you probably turned him off a bit when you talked about him not seeing other girls. I'm not really sure what to suggest.

    • 3mo

      there we go asker it depends on the situation if you put in there position very good

  • It seems mixed only if the signals aren't signals

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  • I have no idea what 'snaps me first' means and Urban Dictionaries can't help me -- this might be a vital clue !!

    Okay, you talk about good signs -- this means he's interested in you as a candidate (amongst many others whom he treats the same way) and he hasn't written you off as a total idiot YET !!

    Now 'blasting' from a woman is always a sign of idiocy because it's always counterproductive -- 'blast' me because you want me to love you more and I will love you less -- this is not deliberate manipulation -- this is how men work -- we can't love someone *appears* to hate us or *appears* to be dead set on hurting us as a 'punishment' or 'wake up call' (see below) for selfish ends with no regard for our feelings -- we never do this to you, so we sort of expect you not to do this us, but many of us are a bit too easy-going when it comes to tolerating your stupid double standards held in place by willful self-blinding.

    Wake up call -- we don't need wake up calls -- we are always awake -- if we flirt with or have sex with others, we always do it for good well-thought-out-reasons -- we are not irrational and impulsive like you -- do not judge us by your standards.

    As soon as you judge us as irrational, guilty or gratuitous (which is just another word for irrational, then you have lost us, unless you fool us, in which case you will lose us later down the line (perhaps leaving you with babies to look after and no child support money if we can arrange this as a punishment for you -- (men can punish harshly for years of deception).

    He 'ghosted' you for your 'blasting', but more importantly for signs of 'pathological mistrust of men' (things like: 'we're only ever after one thing' and other feminist bollocks/myths).

    My recommendation to women: stay away from men until you hate feminism !!

    My recommendation to men: USE/TAUNT/JEER AT blatant feminists, marry anti-feminists, and just don't make life more difficult than it already is for the rest !!

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  • Because most guys have no balls and are so scared of being rejected.

    Unless a guy is dead sure he in the ballpark to play, he will shrink if rejected.

    That is why.

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    • even if im constantly complimenting him- subtly though not "omg your so hot' but if he says something i sometimes reply complimenting him

  • How old are you and him?
    Guys flirt yes, but all guys are different. Just like all ladies are different. I don't know the guy so it't difficult to say.

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    • I'm 18 and his 17

    • 3mo

      you are now starting as a adult now and you might be scared some guys would do something that you don't like all of us are different than others and don't judge a person by it's cover like a book and think about that movie the book of life everyone has a story on their life what is yours

  • cos we dont get if you're testing us.
    beware of guys testing you tho, better know straight up what do they think of you

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  • because we are stupid and we dont know what we want.

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    • I dont think his stupid, his way of going about it was though, but i fricken really like him and was finally getting over him until he added me back

    • 3mo

      there is a way not be intense is kind a like the word frick it builds like being excited and you don't know how they might feel about it and even think I don't know if you want to build something that could scared but yet sametime that you are even concerned and want to know

  • Don't push. You'll run him off. It sounds like you just need to spend time with him on a casual basis. Most men, including me, will ghost a girl if they become possessive. My advice? Chilax and let nature take it's course.

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  • keeping a girl questioning is good way to attract her. Its definitely working because you are thinking about him and are posting a question about him online. But once you realize its just a game, then laugh. Nothing means anything.

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  • I would never send mixed signals purposefully.

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  • Girls send them as well but we send them to spark instrest and because we can get nervous.

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    • do you guys realise how it can make us feel though, i feel like he doesn't actually like me or have time for me

  • Well, I don't know if that was mixed signals or him thinking he was saving his own feelings. Girls have a tendency to say things that only confuses Sa guy.

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What Girls Said 3

  • When guys play hot and cold, I start looking elsewhere. I don't have time to play games. I may still give them my attention but only when they give me attention but I cease any efforts to pursue them because it wears on my mind and my emotions. Why bother put myself through that were there are other eligible prospects? I have better things to do than to guess where I stand with them. I recommend doing the same with this guy for your own health and sanity.

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  • he confused about his feeling.

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  • That's how they play the game

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