So my boyfriend and I got into an argument because i felt that he was fetishizing me. We are both black. He is African (1st generation american) and I am African American. He has very dark skin and I have light skin, long curly hair and brown eyes.
He made a few comments that made me quite uncomfortable. We were talking and he asked me "what am I because i look foreign" I told him African American and he looked at me incredulously and said am I sure I'm not hispanic mix or from an island. It was kind of irritating because I am proud of my heritage. Then he proceeds to tell me how he's never dated a black girl before but I'm not really black because I look foreign to him and that light skinned girls are his preference and he would never date a dark girl.
This whole conversation made me really angry and uncomfortable because growing up in a predominately white area it took me a while to become comfortable in my skin. I feel like he is self hating and exoticizing me. He has lived in urban areas his whole life so he has been exposed to mostly hispanic and black women.
His comments make me feel like the only reason he's dating me is because I look racially ambiguous enough to pass as either afro-hispanic or black mixed. Does this seem like he is fetishizing me or is he that self-hating?
He made a few comments that made me quite uncomfortable. We were talking and he asked me "what am I because i look foreign" I told him African American and he looked at me incredulously and said am I sure I'm not hispanic mix or from an island. It was kind of irritating because I am proud of my heritage. Then he proceeds to tell me how he's never dated a black girl before but I'm not really black because I look foreign to him and that light skinned girls are his preference and he would never date a dark girl.
This whole conversation made me really angry and uncomfortable because growing up in a predominately white area it took me a while to become comfortable in my skin. I feel like he is self hating and exoticizing me. He has lived in urban areas his whole life so he has been exposed to mostly hispanic and black women.
His comments make me feel like the only reason he's dating me is because I look racially ambiguous enough to pass as either afro-hispanic or black mixed. Does this seem like he is fetishizing me or is he that self-hating?
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+1 y
He said he has only dated latina women. And I think because he feels like I could pass as afro-hispanic but I am black he gets excited. Its gross.
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