My boyfriend and I come from complete opposite financial situations. His family has a swimming pool, vacation house, timeshare in Mexico, all that kind of stuff. And all I have is my unemployed addict mom.
We face food insecurity a lot. This was something my boyfriend found out about by accident a couple years before we even started dating and he kept it a secret for me. Even though we weren't even friends... he started giving me money for groceries no strings attached. I tried to turn it down but he insisted, saying he would rather spend the couple hundred bucks knowing I would be ok than worry about me going hungry because "I mistakenly thought no one cared about me". It was really sweet and one of the reasons I fell for him. Not because of the money, but because no one in my life ever took care of me or wanted to.
We had a really complicated story with a lot of problems, but we eventually ended up dating. When we did, it moved VERY fast financially. From our first date, he insisted that he pay for everything. I am not talking dinners- I am talking my clothes, school lunches, new phone, new computer, everything.
I have mixed feelings because its really sweet... but I don't know... it just feels wrong. I would rather ignore the power difference between us, but I feel like this financial stuff is like... fetishizing it?
We got into a HUGE fight today over the stupidest thing. I bought a bag of chips with my own money out of the vending machine, and he is really pissed that I didn't ask him to buy it. He said that it shows I don't respect him as a man and as a provider. Like, he thinks I did it just rebel (?) against him and show him I don't need him.
WTF is going on?
We face food insecurity a lot. This was something my boyfriend found out about by accident a couple years before we even started dating and he kept it a secret for me. Even though we weren't even friends... he started giving me money for groceries no strings attached. I tried to turn it down but he insisted, saying he would rather spend the couple hundred bucks knowing I would be ok than worry about me going hungry because "I mistakenly thought no one cared about me". It was really sweet and one of the reasons I fell for him. Not because of the money, but because no one in my life ever took care of me or wanted to.
We had a really complicated story with a lot of problems, but we eventually ended up dating. When we did, it moved VERY fast financially. From our first date, he insisted that he pay for everything. I am not talking dinners- I am talking my clothes, school lunches, new phone, new computer, everything.
I have mixed feelings because its really sweet... but I don't know... it just feels wrong. I would rather ignore the power difference between us, but I feel like this financial stuff is like... fetishizing it?
We got into a HUGE fight today over the stupidest thing. I bought a bag of chips with my own money out of the vending machine, and he is really pissed that I didn't ask him to buy it. He said that it shows I don't respect him as a man and as a provider. Like, he thinks I did it just rebel (?) against him and show him I don't need him.
WTF is going on?
