"I thought dating was going to be the fun part, the easiest part... I was in for a mountain of rejections, but to be a guy I had to get out there...
Simple enough, right? A brush-off. No biggie. But as I turned away and slumped back across the room toward our table, I felt like the outcast kid in the lunchroom who trips and dumps his tray on the linoleum in front of the whole school.
"Rejection is a staple for guys," said Curtis, laughing as I crumpled into my seat with a humiliated sigh. "Get used to it."...
[There is a] monumental power of female sexuality [that gives us an] immense advantage... over men. Dating women as a man was a lesson in female power... I saw... their superiority, their accusatory smiles, their entitlement to choose or dash me with a fingertip, an execution so... effortless, it made the defeats and even the successes unbearably humiliating. Typical male power feels by comparison like a blunt instrument, its salvos and field strategies laughably remedial next to the damage a woman can do with a single cutting word: no.
Dating women was the hardest thing I had to do as Ned... I have never felt more vulnerable to total strangers, never more socially defenceless than in my clanking suit of borrowed armour.
But then, I guess maybe that's one of the secrets of manhood that no man tells if he can help it. Every man's armour is borrowed and 10 sizes too big, and beneath it he's naked and insecure and hoping you won't see.
That, maybe, was the last twist of my adventure. I passed in a man's world not because my mask was so real, but because the world of men was a masked ball. Eventually I realised that my disguise was the one thing I had in common with every guy in the room."
Accurate for you?
- I'm an adult and this is very true65% (26)
- I'm an adult & this was accurate when I was a teenager, but not anymore15% (6)
- I'm an adult & this wasn't ever precisely accurate for me, but dating was still difficult in other ways (describe)15% (6)
- I'm an adult & I never really had any of these problems; it was always a good time2% (1)
- I'm a teen & this is very accurate0% (0)
- I'm a teen & this wasn't ever really accurate, but there are still other male-only difficulties that are really hard for me0% (0)
- I'm a teen & this is inaccurate, being a male was always a good time3% (1)
Most Helpful Guy
It's not specifically true for me because I don't attempt things like she did either, as some other guy also said. I don't go up to women in bars or most other "public" spaces and ask them out, because I know nothing about them and it just seems annoying. Also I do get the impression that the success rate is very low as she mentioned, so I always perceived it as a waste of time. I only really try anything with women I have met through other means and happen to get along with and also be attracted to, which isn't that many but there have been some.
The part that I can relate to is women who are interested in you expecting you to lead them and help them with their problems. In my experience, other than a few instances of obvious casual attraction / hooking up, women mainly become interested in me for a relationship when they see that I'm willing to take that role. And that's really frustrating and difficult to me honestly because it's not fair that I have to solve all my problems by myself, give myself my own emotional comfort alone when I'm not feeling well, and not have anyone to give me direction. I mean I'm sure there are women who aren't like this but I'm pretty sure it's a small minority.0