I'll try to keep it relatively short:
Started seeing a girl that had a crush on me from 2 years ago from high school. We recently met up this summer and went on 2 dates that went quite well, kissed, held hands, and the whole bit. When I tried planning following dates she started to flake and grow distant. I asked what was up and she explained that she wasn't over her ex and the breakup and she didn't want me to be the 'rebound' guy because I was 'worth more than that'. The ex situation was 100% true time as confirmed through friends of friends. I basically told her that I'd give her space for a bit to let her figure things out and what not to avoid complicating things. 1 month later I try casually light texting her again (not even asking to hangout) and she was incredibly dry and trying to push back. I'm just really confused as to why she's doing this, has she completely lost interest and is trying to avoid me? I'm afraid of confronting her and scaring her away and I don't want to seem clingy, but if she's not interested then I just want decent closure. What should I do? Thanks in advance!
- Following the 2 dates she was initially fine with planning dinner, but she eventually flaked and said she wouldn't feel right leading me on when she wasn't over her ex.
-During the 1 month that I gave her space I was 90% sure that she was trying to get my attention through Facebook and steam (she games). Its hard to explain but she was basically mimicking all my online behavior and potentially stalking me?
- When I first started texting her again recently, she pulled the 24-hour text delay and 'I didn't see this text' game..
Most Helpful Guy
I agree with TheDocleo. But the thing you have to understand is the first date was the testing ground. I think most people use that first date to feel out what is possible. Odds are, for whatever reason (it may not even be one she can clearly define), she was left seeing very little likelihood it would go anywhere.
If you distance yourself, you can give her time to reflect on it and maybe she will remember it differently. or maybe she is hoping she and the ex will get back together right now, but later will accept its over and reconsider you as an option. By disappearing you are leaving her with only memories of you. If she misses your presence, she will reach out to you. At that point you have to be friendly and be clear you want to make a second date. If she wants to just pal around, you then have to make a choice. Be her buddy and just be friends, or hold out until she will see you for a second date.
the worst thing you can do now is chase her. It will not change anything at all, and most likely will drive her farther away.1
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