My problem and the reason I am 20 and never had a girlfriend is because I cannot flirt or make the conservation with girls more sexual. I only talk about boring things like school, wheater etc.
I see some guys, forexample at parties and other gatherings they'll overstep boundaries and say things like you have a nice butt and things of that nature and the girls will just slap them back in a playful manner and flirt back. They just dont give a damn, they say what they feel and make their intentions clear wihtout any filter. At the end the girls always goes back home with them.
I just have an inherent fear of talking to a girls in that way and thats why I always end up as the guy you have nothing against as a person but that you would not want to spend any alone time with never mind date or sleep with.
How do I get over the fear of saying things I'm actually thinking to girls and not play it safe all the time?
Most Helpful Girl
You don't need to talk sexual with women and flirt all the time. It really depends on what is your intentions. The problem that I have with some of those guys your speaking about does over step boundaries. And that is not good. This girls have no boundaries, and this is how they end up used, abused, heartbroken, and miserable. This is why I would never go to some bar, party, etc to avoid such men who just want to sleep around. The problem with you is that your too desperate, sound miserable, have a fear of women and rejection, and you don't even know what you want.
You can't talk about school or whatever at parties. These girls aren't interested in that in those places. You want to talk normally, then get of there and stop going to such places! You don't belong in there. You can't try to be somebody your not. And of course the girls go back home with them because their sleeping around. Do you even want to be with such women who eat guys like you for breakfast and spit you out when their done, while they mock you to their friends and all the guys there readily do the same or worse: make your feel inferior to them?1
Most Helpful Guy
Lol I have been that guy so many times with girls. The best way I found is to join a small mixed group get to know them and practice with them. When your haning out with them break out fun social games that can turn dirty like. The smile game, I have never, Spin the hot dog for a hug/kiss.
Your social skills are like any other skill they take practice. So find a group you can practice with and experiment with them.
With flirting it is also about the small things and the things that you like. You like her hair say that. You like her smile say that. Those guys are either aggressive and at a party that is what she is looking for. Or they have already laid the ground work with her to say that stuff. The environment also helps the girls accept those remarks.
It is not so much playing it safe as it is doing what your comfortable doing. If you act out of your norm you won't seem like yourself and you will come off like your trying to hard to be something that your not. Women can usually tell when your lying and not being yourself.0