28F, I gamed online frequently with two guys for a little over 2 years. We never met in person & over time the two of them stopped playing as frequently. Now I ended up unfriending one in Dec 2022 bc over time I got irritated with him. While he was clearly a better gamer, he came across as arrogant at times & if there’s one thing I can’t handle it’s a conceited man. He wished me merry Christmas, I didn’t answer & he follows up maybe a month after on IG. He acknowledged that I unfriended him & wanted to know why, I was blunt & he apologized etc. It was a mature conversation & shortly after he tells me that his apartment burnt down after an electrical fire. He’s complained about the complex for the whole time I knew him but for it to end that way is absolutely insane. By the time we talked about it he already moved into his new place, confirmed his ps5 was safe & we left it at that. I checked google & there was a go fund me page for he & his wife. This conversation was in Jan this year & we haven’t spoken since, I added him back on the PlayStation app maybe a month later. He’s been online but not as often, we’d usually talk most of the time he was online but he hasn’t reached out & I feel awkward. I see him online & we’re playing the same game too but nothing. It may seem like an obvious AITA post but tbh if he didn’t say that conceited shit when we were still talking I’d very very likely check in with him by now. I haven’t gotten over it completely, even though I accepted his apology 🤷🏻♀️
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Yes, you should follow-up with this friend.
So what happened here is actually pretty simple, looking from the outside.
You had a friend who said some shit, that pissed you off enough that you distanced yourself from him to the point of unfriending him.
He reaches out, asks "hey, what's up? Why did you unfriend me? Did I do something?"
You say: "actually yea, you did..."
He: "Acknowledges and apologizes"
You: "Accept his apology"
Yet... things are obviously not actually cool between you two, as evidenced by the awkward not-speaking that is going on when you see each other.
What happened here... you acknowledge yourself.
You accepted an apology you should not have accepted. Things AREN'T cool as far as you're concerned. You are not over what this guy said, and the negative feelings you have about it.
He said he was sorry, and you said "it's ok"... but it's NOT.
So, basically, if you do want to be this guys friend... then you DO need to follow up with him, and talk things out more. Or at the very least you need to be honest with him about the fact that you really DON"T accept his apology (even if you may want to, obviously your feelings are not on the same page yet).
It would be a matter of you doing more talking to bring you to a place where you feel like you DO genuinely accept his apology. You would feel that he understood what he did wrong, and is genuinely sorry for it, and understands how/why not to do it again.
But it really all hinges on whether you actually want this guy as a friend or if you don't. That's up to you.
The fire. Is totally irrelevant.
If you wouldn't want to reach-out if the fire had never happened, then you don't really want to reach out. You shouldn't reach out BECAUSE the fire happened (I mean, you can offer your condolences). But if the fire made you re-think how important this guys friendship was/is to you... then fair enough.
But if you would have no desire to talk to this guy were it not for the fire... then don't. Reach out because you want to be his friend. Not because he's been through something.
If I'm hearing you correctly, I see two different questions
1. Should I forgive him, and show kindness
2. Should I start playing and being his friend again
1. Forgiveness is almost always the answer, true forgiveness, with utter acceptance and peace. It doesn't hurt him anymore, just you, leading to asking this question online even. And a kind word and making amends may really set you at peace, and mean a lot to him.
2. You can do all of that without playing with him again. If he isn't the type of person you want to be around, that's okay! And if there is a chance you might like to, then taking away pressure, by being able to be free to forgive and make amends while, still also having space to decide if you still talk to him may make it easier on you.
And don't mind awkwardness too much, it's normal and can melt away easily :)