Is jealousy a turn on or a turn off?

I'm the super jealous type, and I try to limit myself when it comes to dating and whatnot. But when i see my significant other even talking to another girl, i get frustrated and annoyed. I try not to think about it too much, but i get thoughts in my head that he's most likely cheating on me. Anyways, should i tell them about this? is it a turn on/off? Please help.


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What Guys Said 30

  • Jealousy is a turn off. It's nice to know that a girl cares about you and cares about keeping you but it's not nice to feel like you're not trusted and it's not nice to be interrogated. Jealousy is not based on any reality, it's based in imagination and insecurity. You can't force someone to be faithful and you can't watch them 24hrs a day. They will either choose to be faithful or they won't. Trust is a leap of faith, not a written guarantee. But to trust is brave and it's necessary.

    Don't waste energy on things that you can't stop. Instead use your energy in making your relationship strong and making your partner happy and yourself happy.

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  • Controlling behavior is a sign of insecurity and also a complete disrespect for the other person as a person, and also makes sexist assumptions regarding how apparently the only possible social relation between a male and a female is inherently sexual.

    This is something people generally grow out of because I talk to my female colleagues but I'm not fucking them, and no, you do not have the authority over me to tell me that I cannot talk to any females at my workplace whom I talk to like any friend of any sex.

    So yeah, you'll need to grow up and shed down some of your sexist possessive obsessive behavior that dehumanizes your partner and all of their social relations with any other people.

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  • I would automatically turn that thank off for good because I really can't handle someone a girl being jealous of another girl I'm talking to even though it's just a talk. Unfortunately, that would be too hard to avoid if she's trying to keep me away from the other girl when she's trying to drag me away quickly like lightning.

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  • It really depends, in your case... turn off. It basically gives off the implication that you don't trust your partner. It'd make sense if your partner was blatantly showing interest in another woman and that made you jealous, that's different. But if they haven't given you a reason to feel like they aren't 100% invested in you and you're STILL jealous? turn off. You need to either establish some trust or raise your own self confidence... because one of the two - or maybe even bother - are rather lacking.

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    • 25d

      edit: Being jealous isn't a turn on period. If my partner is jealous, that alone worries me.

  • jealousy is poison for a relationship. While a bit of jealousy can be nice and shows her feelings towards you, being overly jealous is more of a problem

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  • I don't like jealousy because in my experience, it just creates grief in the relationship because all of the women who I've dealt with wrongfully took it out on me. lol

    I'm sure most men would agree that a jealous woman it no fun to deal with. In a perfect world, It would be great if she would illuminate her good personality to show the guy because she's jealous but realistical most just want to bash the guy in the head with a shovel when he didn't even do anything wrong in the first place.

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  • jealosu is turn on for me I love to make my girl jealous but everything has its limit so better don't do over... for u, u should not jealous that much if ur boyfriend/lover talk to other girl there is nothing wrong and if u find still jealous than take actively take part in the conversation between them if u can

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  • Huge turn off

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  • Major turn off for me, I've lost interested in several girls the moment they became jealous.

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  • It can be a turn-off especially if it's very constant and very strong. I understand your feelings but unless he gives you reason to believe he's cheating, then you need to trust him.

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  • A _little_ bit of jealousy is nice, but average or more, a complete turn off.

    It shows a lack of confidence, and disrespect and lack of trust for your partner.

    You need help for this issues, because you'll just push him away.

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  • Huge turn off.

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  • It's definitely a turn off.

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  • This question is right up your alley.

    @ElissaDido

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  • Turn off for me. In my opinion, if you can not trust whoever it is that you're dating, you shouldn't date them.

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  • Big RED flag...

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  • Major turn-off.

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  • It is HORRIBLE to be on the receiving end of jealousy. A better way of driving him off is hard to imagine. Instead you should be helping him (and yourself!) and encouraging him to develop healthy platonic relationships with women.

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  • Turn off. Once you gain some self confidence, it will get better.

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  • Should you express yourself? Yes. Is it a turn off? Yes. Can you get help to change this? Yes.

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  • Yeah sure

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  • turn on to me
    it means i'm special to her ^^

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  • It's not a turn on or a turn off for me. I couldn't care less if someone else is jealous.

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  • off off

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  • Super big turn off, one of the top ones

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  • it's not turn off

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  • Your amount of jealousy, turn off.

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  • It shows that you actually give a shit, you really do care :)

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  • Off competely

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  • Over jealousy, will lead me to break up with you. Half jealous I'm okay with.

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What Girls Said 21

  • It's a turn off. At first, I didn't mind it. I knew jealousy was a sign of an insecure person, so my instinct was to make my partner feel loved and to... fix them in a sense. I did everything in my power to help my partner see his potential and self-worth. However, the relationship ended after I got cheated on, due to his insecurity (no surprise there), but now I don't see jealousy as something cute anymore. It's not something I want to fix, in fact, I see it as a warning sign now. I dated a guy who was great, but he showed similar signs of insecurity the way my ex did. Honestly, I dumped him the second I realized how insecure he was. It's not my job to fix anyone and I've realized that you can't make someone evolve unless they truly want to better themselves and I'd say the same to you. If you know that you are a jealous person, I think you should definitely address that and look within. Why are you so jealous? Are you insecure? How can you build up your confidence so that you feel more secure in your relationships? Whatever you do, telling him about your jealousy is a good idea, but also try to work on it. You can't expect him to cut out all females in his life to appease your irrationality.

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  • I think a little jealousy is normal, healthy, and can be a bit of a turn on as long as it is not unreasonable like casual talking with another gender.

    If it was something like two people checking each other out, I'd be more concerned. Or obviously flirtation but, interacting with the other gender at school, work, and public conversation shouldn't raise alarm.

    It sounds like you and your SO maybe be at the early stage of your relationship or are not very confident in your relationship. My ex was also a super jealous type and questioned every guy a talked to and asked about names who came up on my phone or conversation. He would also make insecure comments about whether I was attracted to them or who's more attractive or smarter or how often I see them. I thought all of this was very annoying and not a turn on whatsoever.

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  • There's a fine line in jealousy that could be defined as a turn off/on.

    If you see your guy with other girls and you're pouty about it, it's cute.
    If you see your guy with other girls and you're a bit protective over him (and I mean a little bit!), it's a turn on.
    If you see your guy with other girls and immediately think he's cheating, it's borderline clingy and it's a turn off.
    If looking through his personal items without permission (such as phone, email, social media accounts) goes through your head on a regular basis, you're a bit too jealous and don't have enough trust in him to be independent from you.

    My suggestion is that you should start trusting your SO more before discussing this with him. Showing him how jealous you are about the small things may raise a red flag for him. If he hasn't shown any infidelity in the past, then you have no reason to be worried about being super jealous.

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  • Let's be completely honest here pepz... a tad bit of it is cool, turn on why not. But the who the f' is this mf baking you a pie every Sunday and sending it on snapchat? When it's your grandma and shit is ridiculous! Or the you have to tell me your every move type or you can't even say hi to your pastor without the crazy mf on your back thinking your praying for more than redemption.
    But super jelly is wayyyyyy too much. Everyone get's jelly yeah sure, but not ''I'll boil your bunny'' fatal attraction jelly😷no mf... bueno babyyyy lol. Turn off.

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  • I think it is a turn on when it comes in healthy doses and you don't let it show too much in your behaviour. But when it becomes controlling and bossy it is just a sign of insecurity, which is never a healthy sign in a relationship. And that, my friend, is never attractive.

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  • Confident women don't get jealous and one of the sexiest thing men see in women I'd confident, jealousy equals insecurity.

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  • Turn off shows u don't trust them and u r insecure I mean guess it's okay a little bit but not a lot that's huge turn off but if u do get jealous like that try to control it or talk to the person ur in a relationship with why ur jealous so they can either reassure u or come up with a compromise about it

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  • I have found this with my current partner. The idea of him even speaking to a woman at work infuriates me and I don't know why, he did cheat on me in the past but I've always been very jealous-it can turn ugly if you let it rule you it may make you turned off by your partner even though your jealous. I always think talking about things in a relationship is key point to it being successful. You can't change who you are just don't let it cause arguments or distant you from your relationship. Do something that makes you feel like it wouldn't matter because you know he wouldn't risk you because you are to be adored. You need something to sexually empower you and your emotions and strengthen your confidence-spice it up jealousy is just a little step you have to pass in order to achieve all your desires within your relationship.

    casey xxx

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  • I'd say it would be a turn off because that would get really old really fast because 50% of the population will be the opposite sex so that would make it really hard for your significant other to live their life. Trust- now that's a turn on.

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  • In small doses, it can be attractive. In a controlling way, it is a huge turnoff. It is a fine line.

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  • To me Jealousy can be both jealousy pushed to far limiting the female/male is to far you should have trust in your relationship
    But under jealousy can be kinda cute and attractive as long as you don't limit your significant other than jealousy can be quite cute

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  • Very much a turn off to me

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  • I think it's a turn on but I'm just weird like that. I like a little bit of a possessive man.

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  • I like some jealousy to an extent.

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  • i think jealously shows you care—but to an extent. most people who cross that line is because of insecurity issues.

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  • A little playful jealousy is ok, but anything more serious is too much. It usually means that the jealous person doesn't trust their partner or has some other insecurity.

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  • TURN

    OFF

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  • So much of a turn on that it actually makes me wet if it's intense ❤️😍😍😘

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  • turn off completely

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  • Too much and it's a major turn off.

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  • I wouldn't tell him

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