My boyfriend never calls when he says he will?

My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a month now but we've known each other since we we're in junior high. I usually only text him once a day if I haven't heard from him and if he doesn't respond then I know not to call him because he won't answer if he's busy. Sometimes he tells me he will call me and then he usually never does. I want to approach him about this but I don't want it turning into an argument and I don't want to appear to be too needy. So why is he not calling me when he says he will? Is he "testing" me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • my boyfriend and I were in the same boat, but opposite roles. in the beginning, he would call me every hour. although I didn't mind, I was always busy working on a project, and it was kindof a burden. not in a mean way, I just really wanted to focus on my work. for the first 3 years, we fought about the whole situation. he would tell me how much he loved me and that he would worry when I didn't answer his calls. I would tell him that I was really involved with my work and it was hard to take the time to talk. he would then say "you can't take just a few minutes to talk to me?". than I would feel horrible, cause I knew I could, but I just didn't want to. he would also get upset because I would never take the initiative to call him. I would tell him that I loved him dearly, but it was hard to carry a conversation during working hours. yes, I also did the whole "hi, I can't talk right now, but I will call you right back" and I didn't call him back. sounds mean and I felt bad every time I forget to call him back. but I really don't like talking on the phone that much, unless it's really important. I've always been that way (even as a teen). I would much rather talk in person. well, after years of arguing about phone calls (who made them or didn't make them, lack of consideration for not answering the calls etc.), he finally said he was so angry with me about the whole thing that he just rather not call me. yes, I felt sad because I made him feel this way, but I knew it was for the best. it's been 2 years since his decision, and he now calls me about once a day. but now it's more texting than anything. that, I can do. the conversations are short but sweet. and if he calls me, I will answer because I know it's really important. I'm sorry that your going through this. I know it hurts, but it could mean a lot of things if he doesn't answer your calls or call you back. like me, I really love my boyfriend, but I would rather save all our daily encounters for our evening conversation when we can sit and talk to each other face to face. work is work and my time with my boyfriend is special to me so if I spend time talking to him on the phone during work, I'll have nothing to talk to him about when were together AND that could be awkward.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Confront him, ask him about it. Youve got good reason to, if he's a nice guy he'll listen to what you feel and what you think about your relationship. If it happened to me I'd be surprised, but still I would change my ways of communicating with my girlfriend for the better. Its best to have an open relationship, so you don't have to worry when your round each other.

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  • Maybe he is telling you what you want to hear. You can ask him. Communication is the most important thing in a realtionship

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What Girls Said 1

  • He might is just busy and forgets. I know I do this a lot with my boyfriend and a week ago he actually told me during a regular conversation that he would like to me to initiate the phone calls not him all the time (which he does initiate the phone calls or texts all the time). He knows that am busy and he is busy too, but I know I shouldn't be busy to the point where it seems like I don't care about him. So just in normal conversation, bring up the topic. Don't be accusatory, just say "(insert name here), I would like it if you call me sometime to check on me. It lets me know that you care." Or something to that effect.

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