My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a month now but we've known each other since we we're in junior high. I usually only text him once a day if I haven't heard from him and if he doesn't respond then I know not to call him because he won't answer if he's busy. Sometimes he tells me he will call me and then he usually never does. I want to approach him about this but I don't want it turning into an argument and I don't want to appear to be too needy. So why is he not calling me when he says he will? Is he "testing" me?
Most Helpful Girl
my boyfriend and I were in the same boat, but opposite roles. in the beginning, he would call me every hour. although I didn't mind, I was always busy working on a project, and it was kindof a burden. not in a mean way, I just really wanted to focus on my work. for the first 3 years, we fought about the whole situation. he would tell me how much he loved me and that he would worry when I didn't answer his calls. I would tell him that I was really involved with my work and it was hard to take the time to talk. he would then say "you can't take just a few minutes to talk to me?". than I would feel horrible, cause I knew I could, but I just didn't want to. he would also get upset because I would never take the initiative to call him. I would tell him that I loved him dearly, but it was hard to carry a conversation during working hours. yes, I also did the whole "hi, I can't talk right now, but I will call you right back" and I didn't call him back. sounds mean and I felt bad every time I forget to call him back. but I really don't like talking on the phone that much, unless it's really important. I've always been that way (even as a teen). I would much rather talk in person. well, after years of arguing about phone calls (who made them or didn't make them, lack of consideration for not answering the calls etc.), he finally said he was so angry with me about the whole thing that he just rather not call me. yes, I felt sad because I made him feel this way, but I knew it was for the best. it's been 2 years since his decision, and he now calls me about once a day. but now it's more texting than anything. that, I can do. the conversations are short but sweet. and if he calls me, I will answer because I know it's really important. I'm sorry that your going through this. I know it hurts, but it could mean a lot of things if he doesn't answer your calls or call you back. like me, I really love my boyfriend, but I would rather save all our daily encounters for our evening conversation when we can sit and talk to each other face to face. work is work and my time with my boyfriend is special to me so if I spend time talking to him on the phone during work, I'll have nothing to talk to him about when were together AND that could be awkward.0