If a girl doesn't text first, is she telling you she's not interested?

So I'm new to the whole dating scene. This is my first time texting/calling (with the aim of a relationship) a girl since I felt I wasn't mentally ready in the past. The girl in question is one that I knew in college. I'm very interested in her and I >think< she's into me as well. We have conversations about pretty much everything.

Now enough of the background info! As much as I know texting should not be the main form of communication, it is the most convenient for the both of us as she has class and I'm at work (we're one year apart, I just graduated). Whenever I initiate the text, usually regarding some event that occurred or a joke, the conversations are long and great. The only thing of concern to me is that she never texts me first. I have tried the whole waiting thing once for a period of three days, but didn't want to risk anything so I started texting her again. She always replies, so that's a good sign.

I'm just a bit concerned about her interest as I've had a friend advise me and he said she may just not be into me and is merely being nice by responding to my texts. We've already had our first date and I felt the connection was strong.

This has been digging at me for awhile now. Any advice or insight would be great! Thank you!

Updates:
Thanks for the insight everyone! I've been picking up the ball and we're going for a second date this Friday. Here's to hoping everything goes well!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate it when my boyfriend, or even the guy I like waits for me to text first. It makes a girl feel more loved, and cared about if the boy texts first.

    Think about how quickly she replies, does she respond instantly or does she delay her response abit?

    If she responds instantly she's definitely wanting to talk to you. If she delays the reply just a little bit, she's probably trying to keep you hanging and if she takes ages to reply, take it as a sign she's not interested.

    Maybe after a few more weeks try the whole 3 day thing again :) Promise yourself not to text her. and if you mean enough to her, it'll drive her crazy and if she doesn't start the conversation , she'll definitely reply instantly when you start to text again, because she just cannot stop checking her phone.

    Go on another date, see if its abit better. Do something social like go get a coffee, or out for lunch. But nothing too formal that will freak her out.

    Sounds like you have something in the making :)

    Good luck!

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    • Thanks for the insight! One more small question? How often should I be contacting her? I mean, as much as I'd love to text/call her every other day, I'm uncertain the amount of attention would be uncomfortable for her.

    • Try like, every two/three days at first until you know for sure she's into you. then try more often. If you text her heaps, she might feel suffocated and as if you are going to be really really clingy.

What Girls Said 10

  • She did go out with you on a date, which is a good sign. Keep asking her out and text her. After you have been going out for 4-5 times if she still never texts first, ask her if she would text you sometime. You should know better by then if she is really into you.

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  • Ok, she could just be letting you come to her. I am kinda of in the same boat, I will not text nor call my "friend" unless he calls/texts me first. I do not want to feel needy or clingy. Ask her how she feels and if she's digging you as much as your digging her.

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  • Thats definitely not the case and we wonder the same thing about guys all the time. We don't always text first because we are afraid of looking desperate and driving the guy away, a lot of girls have a rule that they will never text/call a guy unless they are responding to his text or call

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  • personally, I like it when the guy texts first or calls me, because it shows that he is interested. I don't think that you should be initiating EVERY time, but she may like that you are. I definitely don't think it means anything negative, in fact, its probably a good thing

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  • Well as a girl I am always told "let him come to you"...I get worried texting a guy first, because I feel like I am coming off as desperate or codependent. I assume that it's a good sign.(:

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  • or maybe she's waiting for you to text first ;)

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  • Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! It means she doesn't want to be seen as needy or clingy.

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  • I am in the same situation...I want to text guy but I feel that he has to text first each day. I want to sound needy by him especially because we don't want to rush anything we to keep perfectly honest and complete. So if I text him first do I sound needy or wait until he does?

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  • i think we don't wanna seem to desperate, girls usually expect the boy to text or call first, although they may constantly think about texting and phoning him first. I am just the same. I try to avoid texting or phoning it makes us think that the guy is freaked out by us.

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  • I think she's just shy

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What Guys Said 2

  • I dno, girls always text me first.

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  • Well I met this girl on tinder and I text her first like 37 days straight and she respond but she never text me first. But when she go out with her girlfriends she always let know where she going and she tell me what time she get home.

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