Why does it hurt me so much to see my man look at other women?

When we started dating,he wasn't like that,i swear.otherwise I would have picked it up.I can't take it,it actually truly hurts me and wants to make me cry! Am I not good enough?do I not love him enough?IAM BLINDED BY OUR LOVE,WHY can't HE ALSO BE THE SAME...Its love NOT a boy/girl thing! what's wrong with me...am I being controlling? Am I wrong in thinking that if he LOVEs ME,I SHOULD BE THE ONLY ONE APPEALING TO HIM?PLEASE HELP.iam 26 and he is 42(shouldn't he be over that by now?)...And he knows it hurts me but he denies it anyway and the worst thing is when he pretends not to look,it looks so discusting!PLESAE HELP:)


Most Helpful Girl

  • He is 42 years old and he should have had more experience about how women feel by now. Whether you are insecure or not is not the point here. He Knew what he "got" when he met you. Its not like he was a young man with zero experience who never dated before. He knows you are head over heels with him. Even if you don't show it, even if you THINK you don't show it he knows. Let me tell you something. Its another kettle of fish, when a great looking girl walks into a restaurant and you man briefly looks at her (because this is reflex, and lets be honest. If a sexy guy walked into the same restaurant you'd look as well...at least I would! Its normal) point here being "briefly" and then gets back to whatever he was doing with you and pays YOU attention, and another thing when you two are out and he can't stop staring at other women. Say you turn your head to get your drink and you see him instantly focusing on another woman. He is 42! You told him. He knows he is doing it...its not about YOU. Its about him. If he doesn't like your "insecurities" or whatever he should a) break up with you, or b) at least make a bloody effort NOT to stare while you are there. Every time you feel rotten and tell him about it, you give a little more of your power away. You make it YOUR problem. And although he might genuinly like you, he isn't about to stop this habit cause you STILL catch him staring! That's why I'm saying its not about YOU and the way YOU love him but its probably about him wanting to be with a woman and simultaneously oggle others! I've got plenty of male friends. Friends, NOT boyfriends. And when we go out, unless they made it perfectly clear that they're out "on the pull" and so I should expect them fooling around, they never do this when I'm around. Because they believe it puts the girl down when you do that! So if friends can have that much sense...do yourself a favor and re-examine the relationship. I bet there is more going on apart from the occasional "looking" at other girls. If you feel THAT insecure, it probably means you don't feel safe enough with him anyway which is not good!

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      Thanx.My bfriend has been married b4,worked away 4rm his wife 4 years and eventually started paying for sex with these african women(I do not agree with this)...and I constantly catch him staring at these women...told him b4 that if iam not what he wants then he should tell me and I will leave!he enjoyed sleeping with them even when he was married because it was sex(I give him my everything),he was sad because it wasn't his wife.i don't want to be with a man that fancies other women.what do I do?pls help