First time being dumped. is it normal for it to be this hard?

i am taking my first breakup horribly. I was dumped out of no where because the guy didn't want to be tied down. it was completely random and he has cut me out of his life completely. this happened about a month ago and I still think about it everyday. I stopped eating as much, I'm so bitter, I'm tense, and I feel very self conscious now. like I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I don't know if it is normal to feel quite like this. I just am taking this break up so personally. I don't trust guys anymore. I don't know how I am gonna be able to start dating again without feeling as though I'm gonna get dumped again out of no where. moving on isn't helping. I already started hooking up with another guy who I refuse to get feelings for. is this normal? and how do others handle this?

he was my prom date too. I found another date though


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honey, first of all, I'm sorry about that. It is completely normal to feel sad and depressed after being dumped. You might start feeling insecure and be on your guard a lot. But if the guy dumped you, it's his lost. He's not worth it. Believe me.

    Don't hook up with guys just yet is my suggestion. If you're hooking up with a guy but refuse to get feelings for him, then he might as well be a friend with benefit. He probably is. But it's unfair for the guy and for yourself. If you refuse to get feelings for him, then you are not ready for even just hooking up.

    Tips: Wear pretty make up. Wear pretty outfits. Look in the mirror and see how great you are, and how much of a mistake and loss it is for the guy who dumped you. Look presentable and in no time at all people will start to ask you out again. Then you will find a person that is truly for you.

    My mom told me this when I first had my break up (which I think is harder since the guy was cheating on me. My first boyfriend. Can you believe it?) Anyways, my mom told me: At this moment, two thousand people in the world are loving you. They just don't know you yet.

    You'll find one of the two thousand people, and one of them will treat you well. Forget about this guy and move on. He doesn't deserve you.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think more than the break-up, it is not knowing what went wrong that is most disturbing. You keep wondering whether you did some thing wrong or what was it. It is a feeling of betrayal that hurts.

    You need to have the correct perception.of what went on:

    He is a self centered and untrustworthy person. However, you could not figure this out because you are trusting and inexperienced with life. So, you need to improve your ability to see a person's true character.

    Also, he will find it difficult to find a truly loving person like yourself and hence will never be truly happy. You have great potential once you become more savvy.


What Girls Said 4

  • Yes , the first breakup hurts as hell and we all went through it .

    The reason it hurts a lot is because he start to grow up and realize that love isn't like in the movies or fairy tales.

    We learn that even if we put all our trust in some , they can run away and leave us behind.

    You have to realize it was not your fault , he just didn't care about you as much as you did about him.

    Time will heal the pain the only thing different will be that when you will start dating again you will be more careful with your heart , and that's a good thing.

  • First break ups are the worst :( I'm sorry hun. Everybody is different in the healing process and it sounds like you loved or really cared for him...Things will get better eventually, just try to keep your mind off it...go do what you think is fun and spend time with people. The busier you are the easier it will be. Good Luck hun

  • It's definitely hard the first time! I dated a guy for two years and it took two years to get over it. just keep yourself busy! I'm sorry you are upset though :/

  • First of all you're not alone. My boyfriend told me he cheated on me about half an hour ago, and it sucks. Trust me when I say it doesn't matter who does the dumping or why it happened it all sucks big time, but what does matter is that it happened, and now we have to come to terms with that. My advice would be to let yourself cry it out for a night(I'm certainly doing it), because it sounds like you're still hurting pretty badly. But after that I also suggest that you force yourself to focus on something else. Take a summer class, read a book, exercise, anything that makes you feel good about yourself and is productive. I.e. STOP sleeping with rebound guy, I promise you nothing good is going to come out of that. Good luck, I'm right there with you girl.