Should I text her to remind/ask her?

Yesterday I asked this cool girl out for coffee. She said yes and that Monday would work better for her. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. We didn't establish a certain time to do it at. Should I text her today and ask if she's still interested ans what time? Or just wait until tomorrow?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't ask her if she's still interested. That's a no no. Text her today and be like "I was thinking we meet up around *insert time you decide on* tomorrow, how does that work for you?" It's still considerate enough where you're asking her if that time works for her, but not somebody who's available all day ("what time do you want to go tomorrow?") or a guy who's not sure of himself ("do you still want to go tomorrow?) you know what I mean?

    Now me, I'm the kind of guy who shoots for a mid-afternoon coffee date. Like 3-4pm or so. I don't go too early because I tend to have things to do in the mornings til after lunch, and I don't do too late because I don't want it to seem like it's a "this is the highlight of my day" sort of thing. Generally, I don't believe in letting a first time meeting up/coffee date go on for more than an hour to an hour and a half, but on one occasion sparks really flew and I decided to go straight from a coffee date to dinner and meeting up with some people for drinks. This was a very rare exception though, unless things are going incredible I wouldn't recommend doing that. Too much too fast for one day.

    Anyway, if she says she's not free, I would say go with this approach: "Ah alright, well are you free this weekend?" You don't want to appear too available this early in the ball game. It says that you have a life and you're not just going to drop things for some girl you just met. You go with the whole weekend as oppose to a certain day this time around because it's unlikely she's made plans for her ENTIRE weekend already. If she says she's busy all weekend (for whatever reason) simply say "Ah that's too bad, well shoot me a text when your schedule frees up a bit" and leave it at that. If she said she was good for Monday then isn't, when she says her ENTIRE weekend is booked up though it's only Monday, that's when it's time to put the ball in her court and show her that your effort is only going to go so far.

    Truth be told if she declines your Monday invite, tells you her entire weekend is booked, and doesn't respond with a counter-offer on a "when", it's because she's not that interested in going. So wasting more time chasing her isn't going to help your situation.

    Hope that helps, good luck.


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What Girls Said 1

  • yeah, you should probably just text her today, that way you can act like you need to form your schedule around it.


What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah, it is always a good idea to follow up. You don't have to blow up her phone but a quick message to establish a time would be acceptable. Don't be afraid to actually make the plans either. A lot of guys do the "well where do you want to go?". Make a suggestion and if she feels strongly for one place, I'm sure she will tell you.