Guys, would you date or like a girl that could probably beat you up?

I do a form of martial arts and we spar a lot in class. There are definitely people in class who are better than me but apparently I'm a pretty good fighter and I guess some guys in class are afraid to fight me for some reason. I'm afraid that that might be a big reason why guys don't ask me out :( I'm sort of on the smaller side and don't really look like I could hurt anyone so most guys I know are kind of surprised when they find out I do martial arts. Why do a lot of guys say they don't like girls who can beat them up? Would you date or like a girl that could probably beat you up? Why or why not?

Updates:
Btw, I'm only a sophomore in high school so the guys I'm talking about would be my age, so they're not all huge dudes. That's why I could probably beat up some of the guys I know. So basically I guess if you were a high school aged boy (and most of them are definitely not as big as adults) would you still like a girl if she could fight you hard?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's a short answer that will sum it up quite well.

    How is your temper? Are you the jealous type? What are the odds of you getting abusive?

    Answer those questions, and think hard about the image you project. If you seem like you could get scary, then yeah that's going to be detrimental. If you're level headed, and it's obvious, you should be fine, for some guys anyway. But naturally some guys might get intimidated.

    Good luck.

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What Guys Said 8

  • That's not a reason why most guys aren't asking you out. He won't even know you know martial arts unless you tell him. If you're constantly talking about martial arts, he might think you're a defensive type that feels like she needs to protect herself against somebody (perhaps men in general?) and his mind might run wild from there. Just hold back talking about martial arts from the get go if you're concerned. You have other interests besides that, right?

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    • I usually don't mention it unless someone asks me what sports I do, and that's the only sport I do so I say that. Plus usually the guys I'm more interested in and talk to are in my martial arts class and my teachers will say how I fight hard or tell me to go easy on the guys, and it usually seems like those guys like me at first.

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    • If they are of roughly equal fighting skill, it is highly unlikely, unless she happened to surprise attack him. I've been in martial arts before, men generally go easy on the girls.

    • There are some ba girls though who can hit really hard, take a hit, block, and have good skills. Plus we have the advantage of being able to hit you in the groin, and I doubt most guys where cups when they're just out.

  • The women out there that could actually beat me up are very few and far between, and most are not the most "feminine" looking. But all that aside, if I came across a girl whom I found attractive, personality wise we got along, and then discovered she has some "Buffy Summers" like ability where she could kick my ass, I really don't think it'd bother me that much. So I suppose the short answer is yes, I could still like and date a girl who could beat me up.

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  • You probably just need to find the right guy. As far as the guys go who do martial arts with you, any guy is going to get a bit embarrassed about being pinned down by a girl in front of other guys. He is probably going to have put up with some mickey taking by the other guys. However, don't take this too seriously as they probably admire your skill. If the guy is more mature then he will also admire your skill. I got pinned down by various black belt girls on the judo mat. I just thought that there would be no point learning judo if the stronger person always won. I would be happy to go out with a girl who could beat me on the mat. I could still feel like the man if I was still stronger than her, though less skillful.

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  • If by could you mean would, no. If by could you mean "she knows how", maybe.

    Anyway, to calm you down a little, if you are not in the heavy weight league, you should keep in mind that even with martial arts, a simple pinch in the face by a guy will get you KO. So don't try it, if you meant "would".

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    • Oh no, I definitely wouldn't beat someone up. I would feel too mean to do that. Eh, we fight kind of hard sometimes, but I don't think I would ever purposely fight anyone, especially if I knew they could beat me up. Most of the guys I know don't seem like they could beat me up though, the bigger guys probably.

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    • u tell him hun...talk about what's important to you by all means...how old are you then?

    • Thank you! I'm almost 16. I know you're supposed to be at least 16 for this site but I really needed guy advice when I joined and I figured a few months isn't that big of a deal :p

  • guys are normally afraid to fight girls because it's a lose lose situation.

    if they win they are a girl basher

    if the lose they "lost to a girl"

    it's insecurities like that that would make them not want to fight you

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  • As long as she doesn't actually beat me up I wouldn't mind dating her.

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  • ya I wouldn't mind, I don't think any girl could beat me up in a life or death situation though... I mean martial arts is one thing but all a guy would need is one good punch and the girl would be unconscious just from the pure strength difference. I don't think I could date a girl that was stronger then me however just because it would be gross for a girl to have muscles like that

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  • well I am in martial arts and so is my wife she can beat me up whenever she wants cause it almost always end good for me. You just need to find a guy who is secure with himself and don't go around acting like you can kick anyones ass cause that is just not attractive.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i do katrate and judo and yes guys seem to be scared of being beaten but they are immature and rather check out my bra if my top slips...silly fools ...

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    • im sure some men are afraid of being beaten but I wouldn't be so quick to make that assumption. I've had plenty of experience in coed sports and as a man its really hard to actually try and not end up mowing down a women, you can't put in much effort at all. I'm sure often it looks like I'm afraid of loseing when I'm really trying not to hurt them, most women have no idea how much of a physical disadvantage they are really at VS. men.

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