Can drinkers successfully date/have a relationship with non-drinkers?

Calling all drinkers (and those who've dated them)!

How important is alcohol consumption to you? Do you find it problematic if the person you date drinks less than you or not at all? Is this a deal breaker? Does it make you feel bad if you go on a date and drink while the other person voluntarily abstains?

Please don't forget to vote on the title question!

Note: The Poll is based on your personal experience.

  • Yes
    48% (14)59% (16)54% (30)Vote
  • No
    24% (7)7% (2)16% (9)Vote
  • Don't know/no experinece with drinkers. I just want to see the answers.
    28% (8)34% (9)30% (17)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think there can be a successful relationship between a drinker and a non drinker as long as both parties are mature and responsible enough to

    1. Understand that drinking in moderation is the key element. If the person who drinks responsibly and is able to maintain their thought processes about them then it poses no grave problem.

    2. Choose appropriate settings. If you want to go out, then chances are, the non drinker wouldn't be interested in a bar type atmosphere. Of course they may go along if its like an occasional meet up with friends but it's not an ideal choice to casually frequent. Perhaps a restaurant that offers alcoholic beverages would be a better choice.

    3. Understand that the drinker shouldn't pressure the non drinker into drinking. Sometimes people don't like to drink alone and they often want to interact with someone who's drinking with them.

    4. Don't allow alcohol to influence natural behavior. Alcohol in some people can change their personality. If the drinker knows this is a problem, then they should definitely stay well below the limit where this may become a problem or refrain from drinking all together.

    If the drinker is an alcoholic, then that pretty much will spell disaster. Sometimes two alcoholics can't even maintain a relationship. Much worse for a non alcoholic person to try and deal with all of the negatives from alcoholism.

    Can a non drinker have a successful relationship with a drinker? Yes. Can they have a successful relationship with a drinker who's an alcoholic? Most likely not.

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    • Nice analysis. That was impressively thorough.

    • Show All
    • LOL, question's not actually about me. Just wanted to know what others thought about it the issue. :)

    • Well that's good. At least there was no thoughts about getting in a relationship with an alcoholic haha

What Guys Said 10

  • I tried dating a drinker and I feel they were unable to keep with my lifestyle. It limited her quite a bit because she'd want to go to a bar and I didn't drink so she'd change up plans.

    I honestly don't mind others drinking but I do find it a problem if she's frequently at bars as some bars in my area are pretty party heavy and full of sleezy people. I'm at a point where I want to be in a mature relationship and I know it would not mix well with a girl who is still in the party stages of her life. The last thing I need to worry about are silly drunks trying to steal a girlfriend at a bar night after night.

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  • I'd say it'd be fine. I drink quite a bit, but I don't expect anyone else to. I go to the bar or buy a jug, and generally drink by myself. Or with hobos, whoever's around. So long as she wouldn't try to guilt me into not drinking because it made her sad or some sh*t, I wouldn't care if she did or not. It would be a bit more fun if she did, but if she chose not to then whatever.

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  • Doesn't bother me if she drinks as much as me or nothing at all. As long as she's not a raging alcoholic or come home on a nightly basis hammered beyond belief...then it's fine by me!

    It's not a bad thing if she doesn't drink at all. She can drive my drunk @$$ home on nights/parties/weddings where I decide to drink a lot and go nuts! But luckily, I don't think that much anymore...don't wanna deal with the hangovers...lol

    Remember kids...drinking and driving is not cool.

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  • Yes, but within limits ... the more one drinks, the harder it is to get along, stay on the same page, stay interested

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  • I drink, though not as much as I used to. I would not have a problem dating a girl who didn't drink. It would just mean at dinner I would order a glass of wine or beer for myself rather than a bottle or a pitcher.

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  • My neighbor/ friend drinks and he has a girlfriend that never does. They are happy as can be! She's happily his sober ride lol But yeah they don't have any problems with each other about it.

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  • For me, a drinker entails a lot of turn off for me. I'm a non-drinker, and I prefer a girl who shares my interest.

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  • I don't have any experience but I always wondered about this myself since I do not consume alcohol in any shape or form and I have been called "lame" and "boring" for that reason.

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  • yes, but only if the guy is good looking

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  • As long as she isn't a lush it's no big deal.

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What Girls Said 8

  • It could work if the drinker only drinks occassionally/socially and not in excess.

    However, as someone who drinks one alcoholic drink in a 24-hour period only a few times a week MAX, I could not stand being with a -judgmental- non-drinker. Say, I go to a restaurant and order one glass of wine, and the person is being judgy and makes a snide comment when I say the drink is good.

    So, I would ultimately prefer to be with a casual drinker like myself. If the person is a non-drinker, they can't be judgy about it. I've dealt with that and it screams puritanical and guilt-inducing.

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  • I personally do not drink. Do I mind if others do? No, not at all-- as long as they do not come home drunk every night.

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  • I've never had experience with this but as a person who enjoys having drinks I don't see why it would be a problem. As long as they don't try to make me feel guilty for enjoying alcohol, and we still are able to go out and have fun I wouldn't care.

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  • I'm a non-drinker and I couldn't have a relationship with a drinker. I find drinkers and drunk people to be annoying and sometimes unbearable. Drinkers usually find non-drinkers to be tightly wound and boring so I don't see it working out.

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  • Of course a drinker can succesfully be aith a non-drinker...since when is drinker/non-drinker on anyone's 'must be' list in a partner.

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  • The drinker does need a DD lol. Jk. Yeah. I don't drink and my boyfriend does, and we are fine. The only problems we have is when he gets really really drunk. It annoys me. But he says he doesn't mind at all that I don't drink, and don't want to.

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  • It depends on how much they drink. If they only drink every once in a while and don't get completely hammered then it's fine with me. I can't stand being around drunk people though, so I couldn't deal with someone who frequently gets drunk.

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  • I think it's certainly possible for some couples, especially if neither have strong negative opinions of the others' lifestyle.

    I don't drink, and it's not super important to my identity (just a preference because I don't enjoy it), so I never thought it would be a problem. My boyfriend is a drinker, and it actually has really bothered me at times when he went overboard and I wasn't around to make sure he was okay. He doesn't do that anymore, and the small amount of drinking he does is absolutely fine with me, especially when we're together.

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