My ex girlfriend dumped back in December and although it was amicable (she felt it was going anywhere and in all fairness, I took her for granted and never said "I love you" after almost a year of dating).
Anyway, after more than 2 months of no contact, we saw each other at event with mutual friends. The encounter was awkward, but cordial. However, a month later, she was completely cold and slightly rude to me. I later found out that she had been asking questions about my dating life and was convinced I was dating someone (I had in fact been on some casual dates, nothing serious and we are talking about 3 months after SHE dumped me!) Supposedly, she is not dating anyone.
I am not sure if she expected me to grovel for a second chance following our friendly post breakup encounter, or is simply upset that I started to bounce back. I hate to think that of someone I once cared for deeply.
Any ladies have perspective on this? If she was interested in reconciliation, should she not have made a move. I understand she is attractive, gets plenty of attention from guys, and I am supposed to be the "man", but still, I got dumped and I can't read minds!
Gents, please throw in any insight as well.
Most Helpful Girl
Ahhh the jealousy bit. The fact that she's acting cold and rude towards you shows that she cares. There is a saying that goes,
“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." -- Elie Wiesel
Hate and love are simply opposite sides of the same coin. That's why we say that there is such a fine line between the two feelings. If she truly didn't care about the relationship you guys shared or you, she would treat you like a stranger passing by on the sidewalk.
The first time she saw you after two months, you sparked an interest in her. How do I know? Because she went around asking whether or not you were dating. A woman WILL NOT ask around if a guy is dating unless she herself has thoughts of dating him EVEN IF IT IS HER EX.
More personally, you wrote that one of the factors that split you guys apart was the fact that you were commitment-phobic. As a female, if I really fell for a guy but things weren't moving forward, I would feel as though I was a failure. You dating other women only a few months after you guys split tells her that she wasn't all that important to you.
You need to SHOW HER that you're in love with her. Refrain from telling her until you're back into a relationship or she'll assume you're being insincere.
Here's some helpful steps:
First, stop dating other women. Period. But, if you don't give a rats butt about her anymore then go ahead and get your rocks off.
Second, ask her for a second chance to take her out on a date. This takes cajones but I KNOW you can do it. Chances are, she'll be apprehensive about entering back into a relationship with you but she'll say yes to a date because we women are curious creatures.
Third, impress her. Dress nicely and smell good and please please do not take her to McDonalds. It doesn't have to be a 5 star restaurant but she needs to feel as though she is cherished and that you VALUE her.
Forth, subtly include something in the date that she always loved. Was there a certain band she loved? Buy the CD and leave it on your dashboard. Was there a certain drink she loved? Ask the waiter for it. Trust me, SHE WILL NOTICE.
Good luck! =]2