Guys just don't invest much in women like they used to.

Do you guys not like to chase girls anymore? I notice more and more that most guys nowadays just don't invest much in women like they used to. Do you think its because we make it too easy for y'all? there's no real challenge? Maybe girls throw themselves at most guys too much? I feel girls are chasing guys now that guys have lost that want to pursue or chase us when we leave. Not all guys but most just rather the girl make things happen. What's up with this? I blame us, to b honest with you.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The guys who try to chase after women be romantic say sweet things make them homemade gifts are either detested by women or told they are "just friends". They get called creepy or ironically gay or not manly enough too nice or predictable. Men learn early they have to be "exciting and unpredictable" "in charge" "tough" of course this macho badboy thing is so predictable and boring its not even funny but women don't seem to get that. Women respond to stupid behavior and bad attitude from men like men respond to exposed cleavage. their brains temporarily die. That is why men don't chase women unless maybe they are really rich. We learn we have to pretend we don't like her have her chase us and never be easy or act "submissive" to anything she wants and be a "bad boy" otherwise we are totally unsexy friend material and the last thing in the world a guy wants to hear from the girl he loves and tosses and turns in his bed thinking about every night is "lets just be friends" or the even more horrifying "You're like a brother to me" I have been led on played and seen too many guys who are losers compared to me get the girl to want to paly the chase game. For a lot of women getting multiple guys to chase them is just a huge ego trip they are female palyers who don't rack up how many guys they have sex with but how many guys desperately want her whos hearts she crushed up into a pulp and trampled on. That's right guys have feelings too and some women think it funny to p*ss all over them because they can because they are "pretty" on the outside and often that is enough to fool men

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    • Fabulous answer!

    • Show All
    • not all girls did those bad things seriously...

    • You described it very well!

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10 Things Guys Wish Girls Would Stop Doing

What Guys Said 142

  • No, iit'd not because you're making it easy; in fact, usually you make it pretty difficult!

    It's just that most women are SUCH game players and SO dishonest and SO willing to jump into bed with the guy with the most money that a lot of guys have lost interest.

    Frankly, I'm glad I'm married. The singles scene, especially after you're 18, doesn't seem like much fun according to my single friends. Not at all.

    Why do you think so many guys are gay? Don't think it's genetic; in 99% of the cases it's environmentally caused!

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    • Its the jumpin into bed thing, we may not be easy to approachbut once we are, most of us give up the goods too quickly or we are chasing the guys we want, not much of a challenge anymore and a lot of guys have gotten lazy because of this. That's what I meant when we make it too easy

    • No, being gay has nothing to do with woman. we are way to beautiful 4 that to be true. You can be born gay. I saw the study and what can happen also you can choose to be gay because of experimenting and a person may just like it better with the same sex but most of the time, its a birth abnormalty where the male or female may get more of the opposite sex chromosomes than usually which then makes them feel attracted to the same sex

  • There are plenty of highly educated women out there that realize that when dealing with a proper man:

    Chasing a man isn't throwing themselves but realizing that women F up too and need to take responsibility to fix it with the man. AND THAT IS OK!

    That not saying "I'm leaving" but instead taking an honest stand as an adult to say "I need to know that you care and don't want to lose me" isn't making it too easy.

    That a woman's body isn't a "prize" to be bought or won. Instead sex is a mutual showing of your love and passion for each other.

    Why would a man want someone that says hurtfull things they don't mean to get attention? That considers their body to be of more importance than his?

    That considers their feelings more important than his?

    I expect my life long partner to be just that, a partner, not someone I have to invest into like the stock market. She wants me; I want her. A private trade.

    Women are still chasing equality and I agree they should have it in relationships just as much as in the social/economic realm.

    Equality of the chasing, giving, dumping, responsibility, love, satisfaction, and pain.

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  • why would guys waste time chasing and being chivalrous to girls when they get no reward? We have no patience anymore, and if you're making us chase you for ages we can now find girls that won't take as long to come around. Not that these are always the best girls, but we live in a day where we can get a cute girl quickly and easily, so to us it really doenst make logical sense to chase women.

    The only guys that do that are ones who don't have many options for whatever reason

    guys who do that kind of stuff hardly ever get the girl over a guy who doesn't chase , but can entertain.

    the guys who all the women are attracted to don't need to chase because they usually have plenty of options.

    Lets be real, there are plenty of guys chasing women, but you're thinking only of guys who you are attracted to. You're not counting the fat guy that hangs around your friends sometimes who keeps trying his luck, or the guy who you met in the club who keeps sending you texts.

    Guys who are attractive and have options don't chase because its handed to them already. And these are the guys you want to chase you.

    dont discount all the guys who have :

    tried to talk to you

    tried to ask you out

    tried to call you

    tried to get your number/email

    Theres a lot of chasers out there.

    I would even go as far to say that most guys on this site are chasers, but guys can't be arsed

    to chase someone when he he can get someone else just as good without the extra hassle

    theres almost no difference between the girl that went out with us first time we asked and the one who went out with us 7 months after we asked

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  • Well first off, I'm a rather passive male, and no this doesn't make less of a man, I just am not the sort of over confident uber alpha male you usually encounter. I very much like to make it very clear to a woman I might be interested in that she always has a choice if she wants to see me. I will force no woman into submission for anything, it's just not how I'm wired. If a woman is to be with me it's because she wants to be, and even if we have been together for an extended period of time and she chooses to leave me, while it would definitely hurt me I would let her exercise her choice and let her go. I must admit with my being passive I like to be pursued, but not because I'm lazy, but because I like knowing she is interested, it removes all doubt. Once I know she is interested I most definitely participate in the pursuit, I respond so she knows I'm interested too, but I'm all about subtlety and patience. You might work next to me for 3 years and never even know I'm there and then all of a sudden you realize there is more to me than meets the eye.

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  • Personally, I don't do it much because girls make it way too hard for me. And then, really I find out how ugly a lot of these girls are underneath when they don't have to have good behavior. There are great women, and there are some great women I'm attracted to, but even they make it difficult (whether it's on purpose or not).

    I'm interested, technically, in about 2-3 women. I say technically, because for whatever reasons, it's tough getting things to gel.

    Realistically, for whatever reason, I don't have a chance with any of them.

    I'd like to con myself into thinking that I have a chance with one of them, but with this particular woman, she never hangs out in my groups, so it's nearly impossible to get to know her. I see her once every three months or so. I've met her only twice.

    I try to go for women that I have something in common with and not just the pretty face, and it's not that I'm attracted to every woman that actually talks to me, but I wish it were a little easier.

    I have another woman I'm interested in; the "relationship" I thought was new enough for me to not be roughly shoved into the friends zone right away.

    I just started trying to flirt with her. I might as well be flirting with a brick wall. I'd get more of a positive response from the wall. It's annoying because we seem to have so much in common. We work in the same areas, we like the same movies. We went to school in the same cities, and have the same college degrees. Yet she doesn't want it to gel. I can tell she's not interested, and I was hoping that in spite of me being a bit ugly, that she'd show interest. She hasn't.

    It's frustrating.

    It's not every day I can find a woman I have a lot of things in common with, and even with being ugly, I just wish I had been considered as a realistic guy she could consider dating (for one fleeting second). It's drummed into your head that average looking guys with good personalities who show some backbone can get dates; not true for some guys.

    I ask women out as friends, and they rarely show up. I ask them on dates, and usually they're quite rude to me. Apparently it's offensive to suggest a cup of coffee, grabbing a burger, etc.

    That's why it feels like a hopeless situation, and why I don't just ask a lot of women out on dates. The girls kind of ruined the situation for the good women out there.

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    • Bravo, sir.

      Women heap abuse on us, and then are puzzled that we don't trip all over ourselves to be in so-called relationships with them.

    • Heyyyy don't hate on all women. Some of us aren't bitches to men.

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What Girls Said 37

  • I'm sure there are a lot of reasons a guy chases a woman but I think the two main are going to be for love and sex.

    Well since women don't wait till marriage anymore guys don't have to bend over backwards to try and convince a girl that sex is a great idea. She is just as willing. And the irony of it is that since women get so strongly attached after sex, the guy doesn't have to put work in after the first time. She is going to do all the calling and chasing cause she is so attached.

    The other guys that do the chasing are the ones that want love and like Subotai so amazingly put, those are the guys that are unfortuantely seen as creepy. That's why I love how many women are obsessed with Edward in Twilight. If that guy lived in real life, you would put a restraining order on him!

    The other thing about the romantic guy who will chase you is that he wants it to be a two way street. He wants just as much as he is giving. And when he spent months to years giving and giving only to be left by the woman, why in the world would he chase another woman? Just to give and give and have her leave?

    The man who is my partner, I had to chase him. I had never in my life had to pursue a guy and it hurt the hell out of my pride to romance this guy. But I could tell there was something different about him. He wasn't just some lazy dude who didn't want to put any effort into it. Like I had to call him first everyday. It was weird cause the second I would call him it's like it opened the flood gates to allow him to call me all he wanted that day. But until I called him, he didn't call me. That went on for about 2 months at the beginning. Then he finally called me whenever he wanted. The first time we gave Christmas gifts to each other, because he always seemed so tempered, I gave him something small so he wouldn't feel bad that I gave too much and he gave me 2 handmade items and 2 bought items. I felt awful. And the next couple times we gave gifts to each other, he had toned back and I kicked it up. It took me awhile to get over my pride of having to do that but sure enough he started giving me the most amazing gifts again. At first I thought, "I'll be damned if I'm the one chasing! Men chase me! Not the other way around!" but the more I learned about his past the more I realized why he was so cautious with me and I had to swallow my pride and keep giving. Now, I can't stop the man from giving to me! I could say "I wonder what the temperature in Iceland is today?" and he will have Googled it before I finished saying it. I realize now that he just needed someone to show him that it's safe to chase again cause she isn't going to reject it and she isn't going to sit on her ass and let him do all the work. He spoils me like no other man I have ever been with but I spoil him so much he probably thinks he died and has gone to heaven.

    It's fun to be chased but taking turns chasing makes for so much more love.

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  • It's true I think in a way. Sex is wayy to easy for a lot of guys to get now. Not saying all girls are easy, but it only takes a few to make it accessible for the guys. So guys feel they don't have to make that commitment anymore.

    Also, I think that it has to do with money as well. Maybe guy's aren't sending flowers or buying dinner or paying for movies as much anymore because they don't see much of a return. Not saying they are just looking for sex. But appreciation I think. There are girls who take advantage of a guy's wallet. They see him as a way to get free meals, free movies and whatever else. It's not right, but they do it anyway. That could be another reason. It is pretty costly to do anything anymore, and people have to pay for school, or rent or whatever else. So its not always an option.

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  • To be honest with you, most girls are so out there and willing to give anything for a guys attention (yes, anything), that guys are just at the point that they don't have to worry about anything. They will get what they want whenever they want it. They have so much confidence that if one girl doesn't ask them, another will...exactly like you said: it is us to blame!

    It actually makes it harder for other girls to date or even find a nice guy.

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  • Easy there with your finger pointing. I blame both. Why? Here's why, with so many people being so easy and all these friends with benefits relationship why should they chase? A solid relationship does not require any one person to do more legwork than the other in my opinion. It should be a give and take and take and give. If two people are solid with themselves they will be so in a relationship. The problem is that people in general (not just one sex) don't allow themselves to have that solidity prior to getting into a relationship. In turn, a whole slew of problems and head games come to head.

    By the way, it's a little ironic that you post this.

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  • I blame girls too. Not me though. I'm 23 and still a virgin. I'm not the virgin mary or anything. I'm a sexual person and I love foreplay but when it comes to giving it up I think a lot of girls give up the sex part too easily. They forgot they need to make a man work for it. I haven't found one worth it so I'm still a virgin. Guys need to be put out of their mindset. Most are lazy and just want what they want. I had a girl give me a good analogy.

    If a guy had a choice of picking up a not so good apple off the ground or climbing the tree to get to the beautiful ripe one, they are gunna do what is easier and just get the one off the ground. Come on girls make em earn it!

    I do know a few good ones that know how to court a lady appropriately.

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    • At least a few women are willing to understand that it's not all men's fault. Thanks for being reasonable and realistic.

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    • Yes girl because I know some men who don't even have to know a woman or the woman does not even have to be dressing a certain way or acting a certain way and they are still lazy and wouldn't chase or treat with respect.

    • I as a man don't like wasting my time

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