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Guys just don't invest much in women like they used to.

Do you guys not like to chase girls anymore? I notice more and more that most guys nowadays just don't invest much in women like they used to. Do you... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • The guys who try to chase after women be romantic say sweet things make them homemade gifts are either detested by women or told they are "just friends". They get called creepy or ironically gay or not manly enough too nice or predictable. Men learn early they have to be "exciting and unpredictable" "in charge" "tough" of course this macho badboy thing is so predictable and boring its not even funny but women don't seem to get that. Women respond to stupid behavior and bad attitude from men like men respond to exposed cleavage. their brains temporarily die. That is why men don't chase women unless maybe they are really rich. We learn we have to pretend we don't like her have her chase us and never be easy or act "submissive" to anything she wants and be a "bad boy" otherwise we are totally unsexy friend material and the last thing in the world a guy wants to hear from the girl he loves and tosses and turns in his bed thinking about every night is "lets just be friends" or the even more horrifying "You're like a brother to me" I have been led on played and seen too many guys who are losers compared to me get the girl to want to paly the chase game. For a lot of women getting multiple guys to chase them is just a huge ego trip they are female palyers who don't rack up how many guys they have sex with but how many guys desperately want her whos hearts she crushed up into a pulp and trampled on. That's right guys have feelings too and some women think it funny to p*ss all over them because they can because they are "pretty" on the outside and often that is enough to fool men

    • Fabulous answer!

    • Show Older
    • not all girls did those bad things seriously...

    • You described it very well!

What Guys Said 142

  • No, iit'd not because you're making it easy; in fact, usually you make it pretty difficult!

    It's just that most women are SUCH game players and SO dishonest and SO willing to jump into bed with the guy with the most money that a lot of guys have lost interest.

    Frankly, I'm glad I'm married. The singles scene, especially after you're 18, doesn't seem like much fun according to my single friends. Not at all.

    Why do you think so many guys are gay? Don't think it's genetic; in 99% of the cases it's environmentally caused!

    • Its the jumpin into bed thing, we may not be easy to approachbut once we are, most of us give up the goods too quickly or we are chasing the guys we want, not much of a challenge anymore and a lot of guys have gotten lazy because of this. That's what I meant when we make it too easy

    • No, being gay has nothing to do with woman. we are way to beautiful 4 that to be true. You can be born gay. I saw the study and what can happen also you can choose to be gay because of experimenting and a person may just like it better with the same sex but most of the time, its a birth abnormalty where the male or female may get more of the opposite sex chromosomes than usually which then makes them feel attracted to the same sex

  • We don't want or need you.

    • You don't want us? then your gay. you don't need us? yes you do. This is a man's world but it would be nothing with out a woman. We are the backbones of men and can suport when we want to be supportive, someone to lean on, and to have fun with.

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    • Hahahahaahahahahahahahaha

    • Oooh, that's actually a turn on! It means you are very independent! Right on! But hopefully you will still feel this way after awhile. Good luck!

  • These days we have better things to do besides keep crawling back to a gril who constantly either ignores us, slaps us, insults us or humiliates us trying to "win her over".

    You want us? Come and get us.

    • Not anymore.

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    • It takes two. Haven't you ever heard of that? As for expecting you guys to pay for everything, not our faults at all since men love to feel that they can provide for the woman and we have gotten used to that over the years . This goes way back in the old days where men were the only ones working while they wanted there wives to stay home and cook and clean. The average men like to feel like they can support a woman or be the bread winners of the relationship. Most men insist on paying at most.

    • Problem is that now some guys who are broke seem to be the ones complaining about this. Its just what most men are taught to do and what they see and what women are used too. We don't always want you to pay but in the beginning, yes. However, some women take advantage of it and never pay and want the man too all the time which can be a problem but most guys feel they should pay at first but the broke ones are not gonna like it.

  • me too. I'm 24 and ever sence high school I hated playing hard to get because I alwase assume if she says no or "ignores" me I think she's uninterested. that and hard to get is such a turnoff because it is almost like she don't know what she want's or is just toying/useing me. I'm glad other guys are finaly doing the same thing I am and stop chaseing girls that think there more important than anyone else.

    that's just my point of view but I'm sure there are more than a few guys who would think the same thing but never say it.

    • Bravo, sir.

      When women play hard to get, they're actually committing emotional abuse. But they think it's only abusive when a guy plays headgames.

    • That's true. and rarely do guys get to be chased by girls. mainly because we would not play games with them.

  • the fact that there may and may not be a challenge isn't a factor . . . see men are growing to think that today's women aren't worth a challenge. they're not worth working for. they come with problems, baggage, drama. women today just aren't worth chasing. they're not worth a challenge. if they try to make it hard or put up any resistance at all, we move on. no time or patience for games.

    • That;s a terrible thing, not all girls are like that.

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    • AMEN

    • Exactly and a lot of women have low self esteem. why? I don't know why. That's the problem and why a lot of women keep dating the same guys all the time. Good men are so hard to find

  • I'm just tired of being rejected, how would you feel if you have been single for 21 years and been struggling to get a girl since he was 14!?

  • I'm honestly chasing someone for the first time in years, and I do admit, I feel a little weird about it. It's so new to me all over again.

    But I can answer why men don't chase girls as much. Obviously, men are no longer becoming enticed by the idea of chasing a women. Playing mind games and working their way towards a relationship is now a daunting thought. It's costly, tiring, and sometimes a financial disaster if it doesn't work out. More and more, guys are more interested in finding a girl that leads to easier sex. Less work, less time, and more fun.

    However, sometimes, it is indeed worth it. But it's incredibly rare in my opinion.

    • Men have become lazy, in other words. Well, no wonder why we have problems.

    • Lazyness is not investing effort in something that you want. Lazyness is not when you don't fullfill someone's else's fantasies (just because). If I want a job, and don't go hunting for one, that's me being lazy. However, if I am expected to get a job where you work 16 hour days for NO pay, and I don't invest effort to get this (terrible job), that's not me being lazy, that's me being smart.

      Chasing a woman nowadays is paramount to begging someone to sell you their yugo at the price of a ferari

  • Invest? Sure. Absolutely!

    Chase? No.

    • We don't see worth in chasing yall either since most of you use like we are nothin when we are more than that. too many of the same like that so why should we see worth in you.

    • Now, you? Yeah. I could easily see someone chasing you.

      I mean, you know me so well... yet we've never even met.

      And... your sweet, sunny personality? Who could stand to live without that beautiful ray of sunshine?

      Damn, girl. Did I back over your cat? Why the vitriol?

      My only point is that I don't do games. Two grown people should be able to be direct and clear. I was done with bullsh*t juvenile emotional games when I was 13. Why would I want that sh*t in my life as an adult?

  • Gues that we are tired of it..and gotten much xperience we need about gurls..lol

    • Well I'm tired and don't see yall worth anything as well. No wonder why so many women use men for money. you treat us like Sh**t anyways so why should we care that we use you? I'm done carin

  • No because chasing is for children. I'm not saying be super easy, but don't play games and make us guess too much. That always causes problems and frustration. Save it.

  • We have a had social change over the last twenty years. A large amount of the "chase" has been made pathologic. Chasing a woman could get you a sexual harassment suit or even a restraining order. In fact, even discussing sex or sexuality is considered a hostile environment.

    In that atomosphere, there isn't a lot of room for pursuing a woman once she says "no". On the first "no", I generally walk away. It's just a better bet.

    • I mean when you are in a realtionship with her and she is about to leave that men don't seem to chase us

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    • To say that you don't want this to end or be over instaed of just saying ok if that what you want or think that is the best we should do or I agree. We don't want to hear that and a lot of guys nowadays are too lazy to pursue us or care that the relationship may be ending or you may lose your girl. It just makes us feel like you don't care whether we are in your life or not cause your not trying to keep us by saying lets make things better which shows us you really do care about us.

    • Yes, and this applies also if you're in a relationship. Sometimes they'll go get a restraining order without even telling you to leave them alone......

  • Personally, I don't do it much because girls make it way too hard for me. And then, really I find out how ugly a lot of these girls are underneath when they don't have to have good behavior. There are great women, and there are some great women I'm attracted to, but even they make it difficult (whether it's on purpose or not).

    I'm interested, technically, in about 2-3 women. I say technically, because for whatever reasons, it's tough getting things to gel.

    Realistically, for whatever reason, I don't have a chance with any of them.

    I'd like to con myself into thinking that I have a chance with one of them, but with this particular woman, she never hangs out in my groups, so it's nearly impossible to get to know her. I see her once every three months or so. I've met her only twice.

    I try to go for women that I have something in common with and not just the pretty face, and it's not that I'm attracted to every woman that actually talks to me, but I wish it were a little easier.

    I have another woman I'm interested in; the "relationship" I thought was new enough for me to not be roughly shoved into the friends zone right away.

    I just started trying to flirt with her. I might as well be flirting with a brick wall. I'd get more of a positive response from the wall. It's annoying because we seem to have so much in common. We work in the same areas, we like the same movies. We went to school in the same cities, and have the same college degrees. Yet she doesn't want it to gel. I can tell she's not interested, and I was hoping that in spite of me being a bit ugly, that she'd show interest. She hasn't.

    It's frustrating.

    It's not every day I can find a woman I have a lot of things in common with, and even with being ugly, I just wish I had been considered as a realistic guy she could consider dating (for one fleeting second). It's drummed into your head that average looking guys with good personalities who show some backbone can get dates; not true for some guys.

    I ask women out as friends, and they rarely show up. I ask them on dates, and usually they're quite rude to me. Apparently it's offensive to suggest a cup of coffee, grabbing a burger, etc.

    That's why it feels like a hopeless situation, and why I don't just ask a lot of women out on dates. The girls kind of ruined the situation for the good women out there.

    • Bravo, sir.

      Women heap abuse on us, and then are puzzled that we don't trip all over ourselves to be in so-called relationships with them.

    • Heyyyy don't hate on all women. Some of us aren't bitches to men.

  • Because giving girls attention makes them think they're too good for you.

  • Well first off, I'm a rather passive male, and no this doesn't make less of a man, I just am not the sort of over confident uber alpha male you usually encounter. I very much like to make it very clear to a woman I might be interested in that she always has a choice if she wants to see me. I will force no woman into submission for anything, it's just not how I'm wired. If a woman is to be with me it's because she wants to be, and even if we have been together for an extended period of time and she chooses to leave me, while it would definitely hurt me I would let her exercise her choice and let her go. I must admit with my being passive I like to be pursued, but not because I'm lazy, but because I like knowing she is interested, it removes all doubt. Once I know she is interested I most definitely participate in the pursuit, I respond so she knows I'm interested too, but I'm all about subtlety and patience. You might work next to me for 3 years and never even know I'm there and then all of a sudden you realize there is more to me than meets the eye.

  • Times have changed, and women are more likely to do the chasing now...though a vast majority of women still think and prefer the guy take the initiative.

    I think that as women are becoming more independent they earn almost as much as guys, earn more social status, and are becoming more educated they start to do more guy things.

    When girls ask guys they have a little more power in who they choose instead of just waiting for the guy to come to them. Some guys have been fed up about being rejected so they refuse to ask anymore. Sometimes the guy that you really like is the one you have to approach.

    • Not only that women have been taken for granted in relationships, and have become more savvy when it comes to dating.

  • Girls cheat more then males now. you can google the results if you don't think so. We no longer want to stress about females while we know there's plenty of other fish in the sea. Females now need to prove their more then a lovely figure. Give us something we want to hold on to, that no other girl has to offer.

  • My wife thinks I spend too much time chasing girls.


    • Umm, that sounded creepy.

  • No I don't, it's just too painful. Equality of sexes, yeah right, you like sitting on your ass and shoot down one after another to get your ego boosts. Evrytime it's like trying to disarm a nuclear bomb, everytiome a different bomb, so many steps involved, so much panic, and more often than not, after a lot of work it explodes. Then I have to start it all over again, it's painful, annoying and I'm just giving up. It's like dealing with spoiled brats, unpredictable and just ready to cry for any thing.

    I want ice cream

    There you go, here's the icecream.

    But it's too cold, too pink, I wanted the other flavour, or the one from the other shop because there's better etc., and also you're too boring predicatble don't give me a challenge are a needy wussy etc

    Next time

    I want ice cream


    You're a self-centered egotistic insensitive bastard who doesn't care about me

    No matter what I do, chances are I'm gonna be considered wrong, I'll be rejected and will stay alone anyway. So if I have to stay alone, why bother having the pain of rejection too? I lose whichever way

    The pleasure of wanting to stay with you is largely overshadowed by the fact that you're lazy, spoiled and a pain in the ass

    • Its all about trying, takin that chase, folowing your heart and not letting your ego make the decisions for you.

    • and do you do that with the guys? But I agree, though it's f***ing painful and often I feel hopeless, like no f***ing way I'm gonna ever stop this being so alone

    • Why are you being so negative? You got to change your thinking first. That's where it starts because you may feel hopeless but by feelin that way you are actin that way and it shows and you don't even realize that which could effect your chances with getting a girl for you

  • Honestly I don't bother chasing girls. When girls play hard to get or if they want me to 'chase' them, I don't respond. I will basically just ignore them because I'm assuming they are not interested and hate me. Girls don't throw themselves at me at all - they all seem like they already have a man or expect us to do everything. And that's something I have major problems doing because of my low confidence and anxiety around women.

  • why would guys waste time chasing and being chivalrous to girls when they get no reward? We have no patience anymore, and if you're making us chase you for ages we can now find girls that won't take as long to come around. Not that these are always the best girls, but we live in a day where we can get a cute girl quickly and easily, so to us it really doenst make logical sense to chase women.

    The only guys that do that are ones who don't have many options for whatever reason

    guys who do that kind of stuff hardly ever get the girl over a guy who doesn't chase , but can entertain.

    the guys who all the women are attracted to don't need to chase because they usually have plenty of options.

    Lets be real, there are plenty of guys chasing women, but you're thinking only of guys who you are attracted to. You're not counting the fat guy that hangs around your friends sometimes who keeps trying his luck, or the guy who you met in the club who keeps sending you texts.

    Guys who are attractive and have options don't chase because its handed to them already. And these are the guys you want to chase you.

    dont discount all the guys who have :

    tried to talk to you

    tried to ask you out

    tried to call you

    tried to get your number/email

    Theres a lot of chasers out there.

    I would even go as far to say that most guys on this site are chasers, but guys can't be arsed

    to chase someone when he he can get someone else just as good without the extra hassle

    theres almost no difference between the girl that went out with us first time we asked and the one who went out with us 7 months after we asked

    • I couldn't agree more

  • Are you sure it's not just your looks are fading so they attention you're getting is starting to wane? It's going to happen as you get older, so don't confuse that with what you're describing.

    Anyway, in general I don't think guys chase less than they used to. If anything I think because of shows like The Pickup Artist and books like The Game, as well as the growing industry of dating and pickup coaches, guys are chasing women more now than ever.

  • There are a few reasons for this:

    1) We're equal nowadays. Guys can chase girls, and girls can chase the men. Now we BOTH have to feel rejection!

    2) Guys that keep chasing girls risk being rejected and branded as a "stalker" or a "perv" or some other name-calling

    3) Women throwing themselves at us is a problem of a slightly lesser degree, but it is there somewhat

    For the record, I've been rejected A LOT

  • I don't really chase girls anymore, because honestly, it's getting tedious and boring with all the chasing. I don't want it to be too easy, but chasing is just childish and boring. I don't like to play games and figure out whether a girl likes me or not by deciphering her mixed signals. If she acts like she isn't interested, I just move on and stop wasting my time on her.

  • Why we are tired of getting hurt. That's why.

    What do you mean? What I mean is prime example: My girlfriend dumped me about a week ago for her ex boyfriend who is abusive. We had been together for a month and a half then the last day/night she goes has sex with him comes back and says, "where done."

    So "why" would a guy not approach women? I wonder? Maybe we have reason's. Seeing as how this is the "second" girl out of 2 I've seriously attempted to be with that have pulled this crap. Perhaps yes you women have done it. You've scared us to even be interested for fear of shattering our hearts, that beileive it or not "are" fragile. Just as your's is. We are humans. You know? Just cause we are a guy doesn't mean we can't be hurt enough to where we go, "man why bother anymore." I'm just going to get hurt.

    That's the point I'm at.

    For example I just sent my Ex a letter after 8 day's of no comms from her and nothing from me. Just saying hey, it's an open door, if you want to be friends you know where I live, and I'm not mad at you. But I'd like to at least be friends.

    I gurentee she doesn't answer.

    Why, she can have whatever she want's she's the girl.

    She can have whatever guy she wants.

    She can date whatever she wants, she's attractive, sweet, and a very respectfull lady.

    Although, will she care about me? Why should she. I'm just another guy with a co*k between my legs. She could have that from anyone.

    IDK there is a lot of anger in this response I guess you could say.

    Although it is just.

    It is well deserved.

    And I'm sorry I didn't mean to be a jerk to you, it's just I'm tired of Women Taking a poop on me and my fellow men, then asking, "why don't you approch us anymore?" Well now you know. Your gender has cheated one to many times, you've lied to us that you won't break our heart's and you have, multipule times infact.

    IDK, it's just hard as a guy you just get to the point of this,

    Well, every time I try it end's in defeat and sorrow, and hurt so I figure if I let her approach me she has to have "some" interest so my chances of getting hurt are lessened.

    That's why.

    • Your story is sad, and your anger justified. I'm sorry.

      We're not all like that, really. But I know it's hard to believe after all that stuff.

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    • How do you say she's a sweet and respectful lady, if she will ignore you? Did she have a good reason to?

      Anyway, I don't think you have to hold her on a pedestal, if you did nothing wrong, then maybe she wasn't that good afterall, and you can find someone better for you. No need to get mad at all women :o.

    • WeaponZero

      U made a really vaild point and I respect you for that.

  • I have to be honest, I have never chased a girl. I don't know why. I think it's mainly because the ones I realllllly like, I think they are too good for me. And the ones I don't, seem to chase me. It's like I have a magnet only for the ones that I don't like. Life is messed up like that. I would like to think that I would chase a girl hard, if I thought she was the right one, but it's hard to say because girls seem to enjoy doing the chasing more then I do. *shrug* It's not that I think that I am better, it's just that I don't think we will have many things in common long term. To justify the effort. I'm not into girly things. But those same things I find attractive and sexy. It's messed up.

  • Nah, Were Just getting smarter sweetie *wink* *wink*

  • Your living in a fairer more equal society where the onus is no longer on the men to do all the work. Women chase men and men chase women equally. Only a low life bigot would want it any other way.

  • I think guys have lots of other better responsibilities to worry about than just chasing girls and waste time. Frankly, I think there is no need to chase someone if both people want real relationship.

  • Chasing is fun...

    It'd be nicer to catch some once in a while though.

  • 2/2 why the limited answer space all the time...

    next maybe 5-6 girls on the street. therefore I would say it is not so much lazyness but actually supply that at last came down to a reasonable level. (because who said that investing days and weeks and maybe months or years even in a "maybe" was ever justified in the first place?)

    the fundamental problem is the following: what we are most limited on is time so its the thing we don't want to waste for something that has very little promise of safe return and no guarantee whatsoever and since you can't really expect guarantees in this area that will diminish the effort that is put in yet more and this is something majorly true for men but also for women.

    throw in financial support and independence for and of single mothers and social acceptance levels higher than ever also their selection behaviour changed. and it changed much more when condoms or especially the pill became mainstream.

    if you look at the average attention-span of humans it shortened considerably over the last few years, similarily access to selected information and pretty much anything became extremely fast and whenever or whereever you are sex also underwent these shifts to a degree, if not for its own sake then at least to fit into our daily scedule. and with the huge growth-rates of cities and their inhabitants the chances of seeing him her again are slim to none.

    now being someone that is aware that he is one of many you have to take chances as they come and few think they can keep to themselves the luxury of playing around while most actually are out there finding the "one other significant".

    of course there is also the scientific fact that women play the leading role in mating rituals like in first contact and this might yet be another reason as to why they take yet another more pro-active approach...

    whatever the case I sincerely hope you find what you wish for, even if it is something few others would go for in the long run...

    other than that I would also not give a sh*t about games, although here is a fun one I like to play: when I respond to something I do it honestly and if the other party was expecting me to read their minds they can kindly go f*** themselves because there is other stuff and other tails I can start chasing any time :)

    of course that paradoxically takes control away from women by forcing them to also adapt to changes in their surroundings mating approaches but only if these individuals want all three sides of the coin at the same time: all of the choice, all the time, as well as artificially high standards that aren't backed up by anything that actually adds value to the others life i.e. giving something for what they are getting

    dont get me wrong everyone is able and willing to chase something that is really desireable, but I guess it has to enrich your life with more than just a few flaps of meat that admittedly feel good and I guess that goes for all of us: IT IS FUCKING MUTUAL IN ALL ASPECTS!

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What Girls Said 37

  • It's true I think in a way. Sex is wayy to easy for a lot of guys to get now. Not saying all girls are easy, but it only takes a few to make it accessible for the guys. So guys feel they don't have to make that commitment anymore.

    Also, I think that it has to do with money as well. Maybe guy's aren't sending flowers or buying dinner or paying for movies as much anymore because they don't see much of a return. Not saying they are just looking for sex. But appreciation I think. There are girls who take advantage of a guy's wallet. They see him as a way to get free meals, free movies and whatever else. It's not right, but they do it anyway. That could be another reason. It is pretty costly to do anything anymore, and people have to pay for school, or rent or whatever else. So its not always an option.

  • honestly guys don't like games. I hate games myself. I hate guys making me jealous on purpose, I have dumped a guy because he did that and I was like good riddance. no, it's just annoying and I think honesty and communication are the most important things you got to have.

  • I feel 100% like you

  • Easy there with your finger pointing. I blame both. Why? Here's why, with so many people being so easy and all these friends with benefits relationship why should they chase? A solid relationship does not require any one person to do more legwork than the other in my opinion. It should be a give and take and take and give. If two people are solid with themselves they will be so in a relationship. The problem is that people in general (not just one sex) don't allow themselves to have that solidity prior to getting into a relationship. In turn, a whole slew of problems and head games come to head.

    By the way, it's a little ironic that you post this.

  • I'm sure there are a lot of reasons a guy chases a woman but I think the two main are going to be for love and sex.

    Well since women don't wait till marriage anymore guys don't have to bend over backwards to try and convince a girl that sex is a great idea. She is just as willing. And the irony of it is that since women get so strongly attached after sex, the guy doesn't have to put work in after the first time. She is going to do all the calling and chasing cause she is so attached.

    The other guys that do the chasing are the ones that want love and like Subotai so amazingly put, those are the guys that are unfortuantely seen as creepy. That's why I love how many women are obsessed with Edward in Twilight. If that guy lived in real life, you would put a restraining order on him!

    The other thing about the romantic guy who will chase you is that he wants it to be a two way street. He wants just as much as he is giving. And when he spent months to years giving and giving only to be left by the woman, why in the world would he chase another woman? Just to give and give and have her leave?

    The man who is my partner, I had to chase him. I had never in my life had to pursue a guy and it hurt the hell out of my pride to romance this guy. But I could tell there was something different about him. He wasn't just some lazy dude who didn't want to put any effort into it. Like I had to call him first everyday. It was weird cause the second I would call him it's like it opened the flood gates to allow him to call me all he wanted that day. But until I called him, he didn't call me. That went on for about 2 months at the beginning. Then he finally called me whenever he wanted. The first time we gave Christmas gifts to each other, because he always seemed so tempered, I gave him something small so he wouldn't feel bad that I gave too much and he gave me 2 handmade items and 2 bought items. I felt awful. And the next couple times we gave gifts to each other, he had toned back and I kicked it up. It took me awhile to get over my pride of having to do that but sure enough he started giving me the most amazing gifts again. At first I thought, "I'll be damned if I'm the one chasing! Men chase me! Not the other way around!" but the more I learned about his past the more I realized why he was so cautious with me and I had to swallow my pride and keep giving. Now, I can't stop the man from giving to me! I could say "I wonder what the temperature in Iceland is today?" and he will have Googled it before I finished saying it. I realize now that he just needed someone to show him that it's safe to chase again cause she isn't going to reject it and she isn't going to sit on her ass and let him do all the work. He spoils me like no other man I have ever been with but I spoil him so much he probably thinks he died and has gone to heaven.

    It's fun to be chased but taking turns chasing makes for so much more love.

    • Wow you actually understand the way that I feel about this.

    • BA

  • After reading all the responses here, I honestly think I know now. It's just that men have become accustomed to seeing women make a move, so more of them sit back, and wait for women to make a move on them, because it's "clearer" to them -they don't have to chase this way. Back in the old days, women never made a move cos it was a social or etiquette taboo, so men HAD to make a move, or were expected to - that was the dating 'system'. But nowadays its like total confusion cos noone knows what the etiquette is anymore in modern courtship, it's anything goes, it just depends on the person.

  • I blame girls too. Not me though. I'm 23 and still a virgin. I'm not the virgin mary or anything. I'm a sexual person and I love foreplay but when it comes to giving it up I think a lot of girls give up the sex part too easily. They forgot they need to make a man work for it. I haven't found one worth it so I'm still a virgin. Guys need to be put out of their mindset. Most are lazy and just want what they want. I had a girl give me a good analogy.

    If a guy had a choice of picking up a not so good apple off the ground or climbing the tree to get to the beautiful ripe one, they are gunna do what is easier and just get the one off the ground. Come on girls make em earn it!

    I do know a few good ones that know how to court a lady appropriately.

    • At least a few women are willing to understand that it's not all men's fault. Thanks for being reasonable and realistic.

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    • Yes girl because I know some men who don't even have to know a woman or the woman does not even have to be dressing a certain way or acting a certain way and they are still lazy and wouldn't chase or treat with respect.

    • I as a man don't like wasting my time

  • Guys are getting lazy I think?

    And I think 'chasing girls' was kinda a more old-fashioned thing, when guys used to pursue women and buy them flowers and charm them, and kinda like almost stalking or bombarding them. I think guys are more laid back now, and they just want to meet people by chance, like through friends or activities etc. But I'm also generalising, if you want someone to chase you I'm sure someone would! I personally like the more relaxed approach from guys, but I also like it when they try to do something for you, I appreciate the effort.

    • I definitely agree with the lazy thing...esp considering the options that men have...but tell me one thing...what would you say about girls expectation levels...esp considering the "swept away by a prince" dream/ expectation that every girl has ?

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    • To krrishtiano: I think I still have that dream yeah :). I still wanna be swept away by a prince-like guy, but most guys end up being frogs that never turn into princes :(. Girls get tired of kissing toads, so in reality, I think most people are just happy to be with anyone who's not a jerk. Well, I think all women really want is to be treated with love, care, & respect, and be the one you love more than yourself- I think that's love.

    • I agree with both you girls...partially though. I may have exaggerated the "swept away" part, but I still don't agree with the perception among girls that guys are not chasing girls anymore (cmon life would be so so boring without girls). The expression on a girls face (without generalizing) when I do something good to make her happy is priceless for me, especially if I happen to care about the girl...peace

  • What guys liked to for thousands of years ago, they still like to do it now.

    But they key factor here, old times it wasn't playing games, girls were hard to get because they were brought up that way!

    Not to give in to anyone unless he's a worthy so eventually they'll get married..hmm..These days. NOPE! Girls would sleep around with anyone when they're drunk.. maybe if he's cute! So, if you don't have any standards your just playing games, why on earth would he wanna chase you?

  • I think most women are so venal that it's a turn-off. Guys resign themselves to prostitutes more and more...

    • Bravo.

      Bonus points for the use of "venal" That's the perfect word to describe too many modern women.

  • Yeah, girls are way more easy nowadays=P, I don't know know though I think it depends on the guy, my now Boyfriend of 7 months chased me to the bitter end it was a lot of fun actually, but he's the type to get what he wants so I think it has to do with the guys' personality

  • I totally agree wif u...we ve been acting like desperate girls...prolly TV influence

  • To be honest with you, most girls are so out there and willing to give anything for a guys attention (yes, anything), that guys are just at the point that they don't have to worry about anything. They will get what they want whenever they want it. They have so much confidence that if one girl doesn't ask them, another will...exactly like you said: it is us to blame!

    It actually makes it harder for other girls to date or even find a nice guy.

  • I think it's because we live in a very slutty generation lol. I know very few 14 year olds who are still virgins... its kinda gross if you ask me. Not all girls throw themselves at guys but the majority of us do, so to the guys they can get any girl because most of us are whores... no offense.

    • Why are we whores for enjoying sexs like guys have been doing for centuries? We used to be oppressed for enjoying our sexuality for years before the 90's and 2000's and now that we are wise enough to know our bodies well enough to enjoy sex and feel sexy, we are whores? I cannot stand ignorant people like you that put your own sex down becuase you believe in the stereotype men came up with to control us and make us feel guilty for exploring our sexuality. Its that thinking is why guys don't chase

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    • Thank you Teddyluver, I have no interest in marrying/dating a woman who has slept with guys left and right. For 1, she probably is disease infested. 2, the woman who gives herself away is not worth chasing. What's the prize? more emotional baggage, a low sense of self-worth? No thanks. (I am a virgin FYI so don't go there.) Question asker, You want to know why the jerks are atracted to you? Its because you give it up. They know it. That's why they swarm at you like sharks smelling blood.

    • Thanks Teddyluver but that leaves the question do virgin guys have to settle for sluts then?

  • LOL.. women are chasing men these days and its very pathetic to watch and funny too =)

    its funny though, because even after a girl chases a guy and gets him, he leaves her for a girl who he had to chase. Irony?

  • I'm not trying to be offensive here but most men are cowards. They'd rather be trampled by a flaming 3,000 pound tiger than talk about their feelings. Instead of just saying I like you or I don't like you, they wait for us to say it. Now, I believe there should be more balance but that doesn't mean it's gonna happen. I don't think that we should have to chase them but they shouldn't have to chase us either.

    It's about time that all of us, instead of chasing, just flat out say whether we're into someone or not. All this relationship/mixed signs stuff is getting quite ridiculous. We need to know what we feel and how we feel and tell people exactly that.

    • The reason we don't want to talk about our feelings is because when we do, women tend to tell us we don't have a right to our feelings, tell us how wrong we are, and try to use out words to control us.

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    • If a women is going to tell you that you don't have a right to your feelings or tell you you're wrong or try to control you, I don't believe that she cares for you that much if she's just going to dismiss your emotions. Like one of you has said actions speak louder than words and those actions are simply unacceptable if you ask me. If she expects respect from you why should she get it if she won't respect you?

    • Along with the actions speak louder than words thing, I've also noticed most of my fellow females are quite obilivious. We'll think something means a guy's into us when it doesn't or we'll overlook a guy trying to show his interest because "he's just being nice." We're just as not understanding as most of the male population. No gender gets it any more than the other.

  • Honestly I have no idea... but I do feel that dating is dead. That's so sad and unfortunate but at least in my experiences, guys don't want legitimate relationships when they're from ages 20-25. Most guys I've met either want to hookup with a hot/dumb girl who they can disrespect WITHOUT feeling guilty about it (well if she's easy, why not? what's wrong with that?) Or they'll settle down with a girlfriend who is EASY to deal with. I just graduated but when I was in college, almost all of the legitimate "couples" I observed had SUCH high school style relationships. Fighting constantly about dumb crap, control issues/struggles, TONS of cheating, and overall neediness on the part of the girls.

    I agree with you that overall girls have made it too easy for guys. The fact that "just hooking up" is even an option for guys these days completely changes the game. In past generations, most guys knew that if you wanted a goodlooking and respectable girl, you would most likely have to be her "boyfriend" to get the goodies. These days, people actually AGREE to have relationhips where its a known fact that it's just sex. I think there's a major trend of "women trying to hookup like guys do" and that's really screwed up the dynamics of what guys need to do to "court" or win over a woman. THese days, unfortunatelly, it doesn't take much.

    kind of rambled a bit ;) but that's my 2 cents

    • No you said it just right. That's exactly what I was talking about. I blame TV mostly because women are degraded on there all the time

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    • To expand on spelunker's point, Tv is also treating fathers like morons. If you'll notice on these sitcoms, the fathers are braindead idiots. Its very degrading.

      Tv shows like the hills ugh. I don't even want to talk about that stinking pile of $%&$

    • as a man who spent his 20s trying unsuccessfully to get a relationship with a woman, I can honestly say they do not make it to easy on us. now as I am turning 31 I'm done with women and at peace with that decision. it was a long hard choice that took a decade of experience's to come to, I still find women attractive and I'm still lonely but its just a passing thought now mostly. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted no longer being subject to women!

  • Yup..you are right..like you said females make it too easy..you know guys like the easy way out...plus technology makes it easier.

  • gosh I didn't know it is so bad now...

  • When a guy likes a girl & he knows that the girl likes him back/ feels the same way about him, the thrill of the chase is gone because he knows he already has her, so then he doesn't make much of an effort to "go after her". The girl then has to start the convo often -this is VERY common among young people nowadays.

  • Girls are chasing guys for sure, I personally think you have to let him know you are interested but not be so attentive it bothers him.

  • Yes they do there just picky so they can find the right one

  • I blame women too. Why? Men, as a whole are creatures of habit, they do what they think works. If all the girls in the world decided that long hair was sexy, millions of men would be growing their hair out.

    Girls these days for some reason are getting sluttier and more desperate by the year. Enjoying sex does not make you a slut, but having sex indiscriminately before you even know what they guy is about it just foolish and stupid. After the sexual revolution and people started getting more carefree, the value of sex dropped. Coincidentally, studies have shown that young women who are "slutty" and participate in casual sex have the highest rates of depression and report being dissatisfied with their lives. Hmm..interesting.

    Anyways, back to what I was saying some women took the whole feminism thing too far. I'm glad that we aren't seen as just props and objects to make a man's life easier, but where did we get the message that we should take a man's role and do everything that he does? Now we have a whole generation of guys who either have little respect for women, or who don't know how to be a man because they don't have to. Guys don't have to chase and pursue women because there will always be women that throw themselves and do the chasing for him. We have forgotten that, hey we are worth working for, we shouldn't just give ourselves so easily in the name of "equality". Because at the end of the day the guy will get what he wants (sex) but the girl will be left looking stupid when he doesn't commit

  • men don't chase women anymore because if they don't find it in you they will just look somewhere else

    • True. A woman has to be really really special to him for him to want to chase. The keyword is WANT. A lot of these guys nowadays don't want to chase girls period becuase they do not see our worth anymore. Until they meet a girl that blows there mind, that all seems to change.

    • False. Why would a guy want to chase a woman if she treats him like cr@p. I will NOT have sex before I married. I know these games that some women like to play and to tell you the truth, I'm sick and tired of them. Its hard to compete in a relationship with a woman when you are battling her ego.

    • Question asker I curious to know why do you think I should "chase" but from your remarks you think you shouldnt chase?

  • There are many factors to consider. 1- MONEY- there's been a shift in financial power in the household. ladies seem more able to support themselves without the direct help of a male. men, in turn, feel less need to put out than in the past. 2-WOMEN- we set the tone for how men treat us. so more and more females don't expect males to chase us or be chivalrous or open doors and pull out seats, therefore, guys don't do it. 3- SOCIAL CHANGE- it's now acceptable for women to chase men, so the playing field has evened out some. years ago, women couldn't even drink at a bar alone for fear of being thought of as a loose, street walker.

    • Wow. that was really good. The best answer to this question. thanks!

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    • Very broad statements that are untrue with your typical male. Just saying.

    • You've left out another important factor. Girls have become far too selective. Why should we guys invest our emotions and likely be shot down in a ball of flames by rejected by some stuck-up girl? The "I'm just be friendly." has been worked to death.

  • I agree that guys of our generation no longer court or chase us anymore. Seems like as soon as you give a guy your number he thinks automatically "okay sex time" when in reality (at least with me) its not like that. I wouldn't say "us" as a whole is at fault because that would be a false statement. But I will say that some women and society it self has made it much easier on guys. Now they expect instant gratification. haven't you guys heard "good things come to those who wait" or what about "some things are worth working hard for"

    • Oh they appreciate a good woman when they are through playing around. While playing, there used to not having to wait because like you said, a lot of girls make it easier for guys than before.

  • Who likes a chase?! I hate playing games. If he acts like he's not interested then I'm not wasting my time. I don't want to have to prove myself to a guy that I'm good enough for him.

  • Save one mistake when I was 16-17, guys have always chased after me.

    Despite what guys may say, chasing after you, if you're a girl, is basically the only surefire way you know a guy is into you. A guy's not going to waste his time and energy chasing after a girl who he has no interest in. Granted, he may be chasing you for the wrong reasons (i.e. for sex).

    Be careful though, you don't want to play mind games with a guy. Just keep your cool and he'll chase.

    IN CONCLUSION: Guys WILL chase so long as you actually have something to offer. You have to be "different".

  • some girls play too difficult to get..it can frustrate guys

  • there are still guys out there who will chase... you just have to know how to play the game and keep a poker face.

    ignore them and they will come (works like a charm ;) ), and if they don't - then they're not worth your time or effort imo and you move forward. Their loss.

    I like a guy who chases, personally, it's all apart of wooing a woman. If they don't, then it wasn't meant to be and/or they'll have to settle for someone who is willing to throw themselves at them, but in my opinion that shows weakness and insecurities - A couple attributes men dislike when it comes to long-term commitment and possibly being the mother of their child.

    You should take a psychology class, you'd probably like it. :)

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