Guys just don't invest much in women like they used to.

Do you guys not like to chase girls anymore? I notice more and more that most guys nowadays just don't invest much in women like they used to. Do you think its because we make it too easy for y'all? there's no real challenge? Maybe girls throw themselves at most guys too much? I feel girls are chasing guys now that guys have lost that want to pursue or chase us when we leave. Not all guys but most just rather the girl make things happen. What's up with this? I blame us, to b honest with you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The guys who try to chase after women be romantic say sweet things make them homemade gifts are either detested by women or told they are "just friends". They get called creepy or ironically gay or not manly enough too nice or predictable. Men learn early they have to be "exciting and unpredictable" "in charge" "tough" of course this macho badboy thing is so predictable and boring its not even funny but women don't seem to get that. Women respond to stupid behavior and bad attitude from men like men respond to exposed cleavage. their brains temporarily die. That is why men don't chase women unless maybe they are really rich. We learn we have to pretend we don't like her have her chase us and never be easy or act "submissive" to anything she wants and be a "bad boy" otherwise we are totally unsexy friend material and the last thing in the world a guy wants to hear from the girl he loves and tosses and turns in his bed thinking about every night is "lets just be friends" or the even more horrifying "You're like a brother to me" I have been led on played and seen too many guys who are losers compared to me get the girl to want to paly the chase game. For a lot of women getting multiple guys to chase them is just a huge ego trip they are female palyers who don't rack up how many guys they have sex with but how many guys desperately want her whos hearts she crushed up into a pulp and trampled on. That's right guys have feelings too and some women think it funny to p*ss all over them because they can because they are "pretty" on the outside and often that is enough to fool men

    • Fabulous answer!

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    • @Jager66 do you actually still remember this :D

    • @Mesonfielde lol I wish my memory was that good, it's familiar but I had to re read it all.

What Guys Said 141

  • Hey, I don't usually write an answer to questions with these many answers, but I like your question! So I'll write something here.

    I feel the same as you, that it's the girls now who are chasing the guys, I agree with your reasoning on this. I'm feeling that guys are no longer as decisive when it comes to relationships, and pretty much leave it to the girls to make things happen.

    I don't think it's because girls make it too easy, if anything it's the guard/shield girls put on that repel men. But that's normal, and that guard is necessary. You do it unconsciously (or consciously), but that's the way it's always been. The men of old had the same issue, but they pressed on. I don't think girls have ever been easy on guys, until very recently, I don't think it's in a female's nature to throw themselves at guys easily.

    If you can see the difference between what men are doing in today's age compared to a couple of decades ago, you will see that men are no longer what they used to be. The nature hasn't changed, as it remains the same with women; the nurture did. Men today are much more "feminine" in their nature. Being the passive one in the relationship, not going after girls, etc. Guys having manicure, too nervous to even walk up to the opposite sex, etc. There are A LOT more guys you'd label "shy" now than you would find in, let's say, the 80's.

    Guys are not chivalrous anymore; I mean, I don't think women ever expected men to do it; they may have in the past because it was norm for real gentlemen to do chivalrous things. Then the social change, I call the feminization of men, began to happen, and men stopped doing it, then the females just don't expect the guys to do that type of things.

    I do feel what kids are taught in school and hollywood, among other factors, contribute a lot to the feminization of American men. Can you name one example of how a guy is


  • why would guys waste time chasing and being chivalrous to girls when they get no reward? We have no patience anymore, and if you're making us chase you for ages we can now find girls that won't take as long to come around. Not that these are always the best girls, but we live in a day where we can get a cute girl quickly and easily, so to us it really doenst make logical sense to chase women.

    The only guys that do that are ones who don't have many options for whatever reason

    guys who do that kind of stuff hardly ever get the girl over a guy who doesn't chase , but can entertain.

    the guys who all the women are attracted to don't need to chase because they usually have plenty of options.

    Lets be real, there are plenty of guys chasing women, but you're thinking only of guys who you are attracted to. You're not counting the fat guy that hangs around your friends sometimes who keeps trying his luck, or the guy who you met in the club who keeps sending you texts.

    Guys who are attractive and have options don't chase because its handed to them already. And these are the guys you want to chase you.

    dont discount all the guys who have :

    tried to talk to you

    tried to ask you out

    tried to call you

    tried to get your number/email

    Theres a lot of chasers out there.

    I would even go as far to say that most guys on this site are chasers, but guys can't be arsed

    to chase someone when he he can get someone else just as good without the extra hassle

    theres almost no difference between the girl that went out with us first time we asked and the one who went out with us 7 months after we asked

  • This is kind of like that "where did all the real men go" type of question... The answer to both your question and that one is "they never existed".

    In other words, men never did chase women like they do in the movies or in soap-operas. If you don't believe me, ask your grandma.

    """Do you think its because we make it too easy for ya'll? there's no real challenge? Maybe girls throw themselves at most guys too much?""

    Actually its the opposite. Girls make it way too hard and play way too many games based on a mythical reality that doesn't exist outside soap operas.

    The myth about men who like to chase and hunt and want a challenge is just that, a myth. We want to cuddle up to someone we like just as much as you do. And by "we"... I mean us sane guys.

    The only guys who like to chase and conquer women is playas, womanizers and jerks. If you want a playa, then fine, make things hard and present yourself as a prize to be won over.

    If you want a good guy, than make it a mutual effort of you getting together.

    Also, more and more men want to "not be jerks" and we're bombarded with stories of women complaining about over-persisting men, stalkers and jerks who won't take a no for an answer.

    So we (as a gender), just went and said... Ok... If you want it that way, you'll get it that way. If you say no (but you really mean yes and want me to ask you a second time)... then I'm SORRY, your loss. Next time don't play games.

    • I have to disagree with you on "They never existed" Men used to along time ago way back use to court women, take there time with us, get to know us, approach us first, chase us because back then we were more respectable but nowadays women are more sexually exploited and we allowed it therefore men have lost a lot of respect for women and value us less now. So there was a time when men use to chase us. And as for the guys that will like the jerks, they do not chase us at all because there are too many of

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    • What guys can do: Get rid of that egotistic attitude that your not gonna chase her if you really want her. y not? plus, we love that. We just want you to be real with your feelings with us and stop hiding your emotions because you think it makes you look weak. Not all guys do this but MOST.

    • "Men used to along time ago way back use to court women"

      How do you know? were you alive 100 years ago?

  • There are plenty of highly educated women out there that realize that when dealing with a proper man:

    Chasing a man isn't throwing themselves but realizing that women F up too and need to take responsibility to fix it with the man. AND THAT IS OK!

    That not saying "I'm leaving" but instead taking an honest stand as an adult to say "I need to know that you care and don't want to lose me" isn't making it too easy.

    That a woman's body isn't a "prize" to be bought or won. Instead sex is a mutual showing of your love and passion for each other.

    Why would a man want someone that says hurtfull things they don't mean to get attention? That considers their body to be of more importance than his?

    That considers their feelings more important than his?

    I expect my life long partner to be just that, a partner, not someone I have to invest into like the stock market. She wants me; I want her. A private trade.

    Women are still chasing equality and I agree they should have it in relationships just as much as in the social/economic realm.

    Equality of the chasing, giving, dumping, responsibility, love, satisfaction, and pain.

  • Wow, popular topic. Partly this is the result of changing cultural attitudes toward dating (see Spelunker's reference below and other research studies), but I don't think that's the whole story.

    For me and many other guys, it's simple. "The chase" consists mostly of waiting for phone calls, competing with other guys, and telling you how awesome we are. Those of us who are neither narcissists nor secretly gay think this is boring. If I wanted these things, I'd work at a call center, join a sports league, and start a blog, respectively.

    If I ask a girl on a date, it's because I want to go to parties with her, eat dinner together, argue about movies, trade stories about growing up, make out on her couch, and have sex with her. To me, these things are more fun than acting out some kind of junior high school chase sequence.

  • Why we are tired of getting hurt. That's why.

    What do you mean? What I mean is prime example: My girlfriend dumped me about a week ago for her ex boyfriend who is abusive. We had been together for a month and a half then the last day/night she goes has sex with him comes back and says, "where done."

    So "why" would a guy not approach women? I wonder? Maybe we have reason's. Seeing as how this is the "second" girl out of 2 I've seriously attempted to be with that have pulled this crap. Perhaps yes you women have done it. You've scared us to even be interested for fear of shattering our hearts, that beileive it or not "are" fragile. Just as your's is. We are humans. You know? Just cause we are a guy doesn't mean we can't be hurt enough to where we go, "man why bother anymore." I'm just going to get hurt.

    That's the point I'm at.

    For example I just sent my Ex a letter after 8 day's of no comms from her and nothing from me. Just saying hey, it's an open door, if you want to be friends you know where I live, and I'm not mad at you. But I'd like to at least be friends.

    I gurentee she doesn't answer.

    Why, she can have whatever she want's she's the girl.

    She can have whatever guy she wants.

    She can date whatever she wants, she's attractive, sweet, and a very respectfull lady.

    Although, will she care about me? Why should she. I'm just another guy with a co*k between my legs. She could have that from anyone.

    IDK there is a lot of anger in this response I guess you could say.

    Although it is just.

    It is well deserved.

    And I'm sorry I didn't mean to be a jerk to you, it's just I'm tired of Women Taking a poop on me and my fellow men, then asking, "why don't you approch us anymore?" Well now you know. Your gender has cheated one to many times, you've lied to us that you won't break our heart's and you have, multipule times infact.

    IDK, it's just hard as a guy you just get to the point of this,

    Well, every time I try it end's in defeat and sorrow, and hurt so I figure if I let her approach me she has to have "some" interest so my chances of getting hurt are lessened.

    That's why.

    • Your story is sad, and your anger justified. I'm sorry.

      We're not all like that, really. But I know it's hard to believe after all that stuff.

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    • How do you say she's a sweet and respectful lady, if she will ignore you? Did she have a good reason to?

      Anyway, I don't think you have to hold her on a pedestal, if you did nothing wrong, then maybe she wasn't that good afterall, and you can find someone better for you. No need to get mad at all women :o.

    • WeaponZero

      U made a really vaild point and I respect you for that.

  • Personally, I don't do it much because girls make it way too hard for me. And then, really I find out how ugly a lot of these girls are underneath when they don't have to have good behavior. There are great women, and there are some great women I'm attracted to, but even they make it difficult (whether it's on purpose or not).

    I'm interested, technically, in about 2-3 women. I say technically, because for whatever reasons, it's tough getting things to gel.

    Realistically, for whatever reason, I don't have a chance with any of them.

    I'd like to con myself into thinking that I have a chance with one of them, but with this particular woman, she never hangs out in my groups, so it's nearly impossible to get to know her. I see her once every three months or so. I've met her only twice.

    I try to go for women that I have something in common with and not just the pretty face, and it's not that I'm attracted to every woman that actually talks to me, but I wish it were a little easier.

    I have another woman I'm interested in; the "relationship" I thought was new enough for me to not be roughly shoved into the friends zone right away.

    I just started trying to flirt with her. I might as well be flirting with a brick wall. I'd get more of a positive response from the wall. It's annoying because we seem to have so much in common. We work in the same areas, we like the same movies. We went to school in the same cities, and have the same college degrees. Yet she doesn't want it to gel. I can tell she's not interested, and I was hoping that in spite of me being a bit ugly, that she'd show interest. She hasn't.

    It's frustrating.

    It's not every day I can find a woman I have a lot of things in common with, and even with being ugly, I just wish I had been considered as a realistic guy she could consider dating (for one fleeting second). It's drummed into your head that average looking guys with good personalities who show some backbone can get dates; not true for some guys.

    I ask women out as friends, and they rarely show up. I ask them on dates, and usually they're quite rude to me. Apparently it's offensive to suggest a cup of coffee, grabbing a burger, etc.

    That's why it feels like a hopeless situation, and why I don't just ask a lot of women out on dates. The girls kind of ruined the situation for the good women out there.

    • Bravo, sir.

      Women heap abuse on us, and then are puzzled that we don't trip all over ourselves to be in so-called relationships with them.

    • Heyyyy don't hate on all women. Some of us aren't bitches to men.

  • I've got to agree with Fitzcarraldo: most women aren't worth the trouble. To be crass, they seem to think that their vaginas are lined with gold, and they can do no wrong.

    I've had three serious relationships since I graduated from college. I dumped all three of 'em on their selfish, using, scheming manipulating butts.They offered me little kindness, respect or compassion, and they expect me to give them the world.

    #1. Dumped her after she told me that I was selfish for wanting to talk about my feelings. This was a girl who dominated essentially every conversation we had with an endless monologue about her feeeeelings. But the 1 time I wanted to talk about something that was important to me, she insulted me and said I was being selfish (for talking the spotlight off her).

    #2. I dumped her after she wanted to move in together after only 4 months. She *would not* discuss the issue like an adult, would not read the book I bought about how couples that live together before marriage tend to have *more* fights and higher divorce rates after they marry. No, my girlfriend didn't want to be bothered with the facts. She instead behaved like a spoiled child at a toy store.

    #3. I dumped her after she pressured me to change careers. I love my job, and make a good living. But she kept suggesting that I change jobs. After a fight (that she picked for no good reason), the ugly truth came out: she was afraid that *I* would not be able to afford *her* dream house on my current salary. She didn't care about me; I was just a means to her end.

    These days, women will put out on the first date, so there's no incentive to guys to chase her for sex. If I want to get laid occasionally, that's no challenge at all.

    Most women are remarkably selfish, and don't seem to give a damn about men's feelings, goals or emotional needs.

    So why should we chase women? What's our reward? There's a 50% chance of divorce, and 3 to 1 odds that you'll divorce us not because of assault or affairs, but because of your feeeeelings. And then you'll expect to rape us of half we've worked so hard to obtain.

    So what's my incentive?

    Women have created this mess. They've no one to blame but themselves when men have had enough of your abuse.

  • I chased women when I was younger, now it just seems childish. Women need to know what they want and be able to discern what kind of man I am from the first few dates or conversations we have. I'm not saying you waste our time, it is just that you think things out way too much.

    • I totally agree. Same here, In my early twenties I bought into that chase a girl, show her you love her. blah blah until I realized, why go through all the trouble. If she likes me and I like her, then I will do the chasing, i.e. I chase to get the relationship further/deeper and not chase for a few dates.

  • "During a seminar I did with black men and women, the men decided to express to the women some things that they had never had a chance to say. So the men started expressing their pain and disappointment. They started expressing how they feel about not being accepted for who they are, for not having their struggle recognized, for having the women respond to them in very self-centered ways where the women were only talking about what they needed, what they wanted. 'You want, want, want, want all the time. Can't you see that I'm working with very limited resources? I'm doing the best I can...' And as they were in the midst of talking about that, the women _lit_ into them. I mean they _fired_ at them! the women started screaming and yelling at them, 'How dare they be so insensitive and uncaring! And all the kinds of foul statements that can be made. And the men shut down. They shut down. They couldn't say another word."

    Audrey Chapman, author and therapist, quoted in Jack Kammer's "Good Will Towards Men"

    • And it ain't just black girls who can be incredibly selfish...

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    • Oh man, the shut down! I know I have gone too far when I see him shut down! He knows he can't win the fight verbally so he tags out. So sad.

    • -hisangel

      all that means is you get the last word, does not make you right! if anything it makes you a misandrist and a selfish abusive loud mouthed bigot.

  • the fact that there may and may not be a challenge isn't a factor . . . see men are growing to think that today's women aren't worth a challenge. they're not worth working for. they come with problems, baggage, drama. women today just aren't worth chasing. they're not worth a challenge. if they try to make it hard or put up any resistance at all, we move on. no time or patience for games.

    • That;s a terrible thing, not all girls are like that.

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    • Exactly and a lot of women have low self esteem. why? I don't know why. That's the problem and why a lot of women keep dating the same guys all the time. Good men are so hard to find

  • We have a had social change over the last twenty years. A large amount of the "chase" has been made pathologic. Chasing a woman could get you a sexual harassment suit or even a restraining order. In fact, even discussing sex or sexuality is considered a hostile environment.

    In that atomosphere, there isn't a lot of room for pursuing a woman once she says "no". On the first "no", I generally walk away. It's just a better bet.

    • I mean when you are in a realtionship with her and she is about to leave that men don't seem to chase us

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    • To say that you don't want this to end or be over instaed of just saying ok if that what you want or think that is the best we should do or I agree. We don't want to hear that and a lot of guys nowadays are too lazy to pursue us or care that the relationship may be ending or you may lose your girl. It just makes us feel like you don't care whether we are in your life or not cause your not trying to keep us by saying lets make things better which shows us you really do care about us.

    • Yes, and this applies also if you're in a relationship. Sometimes they'll go get a restraining order without even telling you to leave them alone......

  • I did a little research...

    According to more than 200 scientific studies from all over the world, women are *more* likely than men to use physical aggression against a spouse/partner. Men inflict *slightly* more injuries than women. But overall -- when you count all the shoving, hitting, biting, slapping and so on -- women do more of it, do it more often, and do it first. More info here: link

    And Polaris80 linked to a scientific study showing what women commit more emotional abuse.

    You really want to know why men don't chase girls?

    Perhaps because:

    -you're *more" likely to abuse us emotionally,

    -*more* likely to abuse us physically

    -*more* likely to file for divorce when we've not cheated or abused you,

    -and *more* likely to get custody and alimony, no matter what you've done.

    • So sad you believe why yall don't chase is is our fault. I wasn't talking about when meeting a girl. i;m talking about already being in a relationship and she says she's leaving and the guy acts like he don't care, lets her go with no fight to keep her. A lot of guys nowadays don't care to go after a girl if she leaves like its no loss for them or the ego problem mat be cause there are so many fish in the sea. idk.

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    • You'd want to judge her and think that cause that's how the world thinks. sad

    • Geez, you guys. Girls don't like sex. If they did then there would be waaay more sex going on. Girls have two strong knees to kick a guy in the balls for even looking at her crotch and guys know that girls are programmed for chastity and it's thier job to say no, nada, not happenin, good luck, good try, and get outa here! Guys are deeply saddened by knowing they're not going to get what thier body needs. Girls simply don't have these urges as evidenced by the fact they DO NOT ACT on them...

  • Women are primarily to blame for this one. In the social sphere, it’s women who have changed the rules in the last 40 years, not men. Men have retreated from the positions we once held for the sake of equality, and this is largely a good thing. Nevertheless, it is women who have failed to adapt to the new reality, not men.

    It’s laughable that women think they’ve “made it too easy” on guys. This is true only if ‘easy’ means having to wade through a morass of mind games and emotional hang-ups to try to form a meaningful relationship. Yes, women will have casual sex more readily now than in the past, but young women are generally so emotionally stunted that you’d think they were war veterans suffering from PTSD. They’ll f*ck you tomorrow, but they’ll never be honest or vulnerable with you in a million years. Instead, they prefer to seek personal validation by playing games with various guys. The men who are emotionally lost themselves—the bad boys—thus become the pinnacle of attraction to young women. After all, the bad boy will never demand honestly from her when he’s being disingenuous himself.

    In all of this, the normal, non-dramatic dude is left to wonder what the hell is going on. You chase a girl and you’re suddenly too needy. You don’t chase a girl and suddenly you’re a lazy loser who lacks the balls to pursue women. In the end, the normal dude just gets tired of the games and cashes out. It’s easier and cheaper (emotionally and monetarily) to avoid women and spend your time doing something you enjoy. Men are truly tired of the inequality in relationships, of having to incessantly prove things to women. We love women, but as we mature we realize that there isn’t a woman in this world for whom it’s worth compromising one’s dignity and self-esteem.

    • I'm talking about how a lot of us are easy to get in bed when before when the world wasnt so sex-crazy, it was harder to geta woman in bed but nowadays sex is everywhere, people are impatient, want everything fast and now and men I feell because of so long of pursuing us have grown weary of it and can let a woman go like that cause of the mentality that they can get another one. you see? Its because how easy most us are that a lot of men view us unworthy of a challenge.

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    • Best answer here!!

    • I second that!!!!!!Great answer!!!!

  • Equal rights is the problem. lol what you are asking for is chivary. To have a guy chase you, and have to fight for you, and buy you things, and genuinely work to get you. Not dissin on womens rights... but I honestly feel like that is the problem. Women are taking an equal stance to men in more and more areas, including dating. For people who like the chivalry, it is sad, and you will get your expectations smashed. There are still plenty of guys I know who like to go back to that now. For the 21st century.. the way it used to be is now called playing hard to get. Its not dead, just corrupted and stomped upon.

    • Well equal rights is not exactly the problem here (uh, I would rather have rights to vote and work than have someone buy me a few flowers and chocolates and sit at home and be a housewife for the rest of my days... back in the old days :P). I think the problem is, somewhere along the line it all changed. If you are incredibly hot, no matter if you are a guy or girl, someone will chase you anyway, but in a way even THEN, not many people do this so much anymore, they are lazy. People want it easy.

    • I disagree about the lazy part, if there is one thing in life that motivates people, it is sex. Guys still would chase I think, and be chivalrous, if half of women didn't hate us for it

  • Honestly I don't bother chasing girls. When girls play hard to get or if they want me to 'chase' them, I don't respond. I will basically just ignore them because I'm assuming they are not interested and hate me. Girls don't throw themselves at me at all - they all seem like they already have a man or expect us to do everything. And that's something I have major problems doing because of my low confidence and anxiety around women.

  • Girls are the most difficult beings on the planet for boys to analyze as against boys.

    Your body language is really very hard to decipher. Even Dr. Albert Einstein's theory of relativity is not this hard.

    Even if a girl stares at you longer than usual, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is interested in you. She is probably admiring your physique, you hairstyle, your clothes, & so on.

    Simultaneously it may mean that she is interested in you. (A huge turn-off for me).

    Likewise, when a girl looks away, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is not interested in you. Probably your presence makes her nervous enough to look elsewhere. Simultaneously it may mean that she does not like you ! (What a crap !)

    Even if she compliments or praises you, it may not mean that she is interested in you. She is just being a good friend with you that's all. Simultaneously, it may also mean that she likes you. (Another turn - off! gah !)

    As you can see, all the possibilities are equally likely. So, why should a guy waste his time thinking unnecessarily about the girl ?

    I am 25 and I have never went chasing a girl due to the above said reasons.

    • Bravo, sir.

      Chasing girls just ain't worth it. Most girls aren't worth the effort. They're abusive, inconsistent, and spoiled.

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    • @ smoothmove

      What I mean is that, it is the uncertainty associated with the behavior that turns me off. A women interested in me does not turn me off in any way.

    • Well in a way, if a girl is staring at you, either you a) look weird, or b) look interesting/hot/is attracted to you. It's normal human behaviour, guys do it too. It's unfair to say that only girls do this. If a guy compliments me, they could like me yea, but it doesn't mean they want to be in a relationship with me either, sometimes they do that even if they have a gf. IT doesn't make sense how you are trying to make one action be the deciding factor on whether they wanna be with you or not

  • A few thoughts:

    -Girls can expect too much from guys. We can chase, but they never give us a reward (I don't mean sex), so we give up on her.

    -Girls sometimes aren't worth chasing. I don't want to compete with half-a-dozen other guys for her attention, or chase a girl who'll dump me when I "catch" her and she gets bored.

    -If girls have sex too early, lots of guys have no reason to chase her.

    -Many women have an attitude that they don't owe the man anything, but he owes her the world. The Princess mentality. And I sure don't want to chase a girl who'll make my life a living hell.

    • Reward like what then? why do we have to give you something? You should just want to chase us if you like us but some guys got this mentality that I can get another girl like you so I'm not gonna chase you, like there is plenty of fish in the sea, and so on. like us girls period aren't chased anymore cause guys have changed a lot. We like to feel that important and that loved to be chased and we chase guys too a lot more nowadays buut we really miss being chased like its been for years.

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    • I've heard that and your right. You jus hear more about men abusing women cause they are stronger than us. It looks more bad on there part. besides all that, I know a lot of women present themselves easy nowadays but guys are just as bad. We both need to change.

    • "us girls period aren't chased anymore cause guys have changed a lot."

      it's never entered her mind that _women_ have also changed.

  • Well a lot has happened with gender relations in the last 50 years. Woman have gained a lot of independence but there are some by products to this event. We no longer interact with females as our mates but as our equals. This eliminates the whole process of "the chase". It is a two way street now where men and women have to both put in an effort, where the old days a woman put on a pretty dress and hoped Mr. Right would come along. It's really interesting because woman are our competitors these days as well. They are competing for the same jobs and jockeying for power in our social groups. The risk of chasing woman has increased because the social consequences have as well. Me hitting on a secretary in the 50's was called flirting, me hitting on a secretary now is called sexual harassment. Than you throw in dealing with extreme feminists and it just gets ugly. Essentially the modern world has become a pylon of social standing (comparing Facebook friends). People don't chase but more or less gravitate towards complimentary mates. Two men and women of equal social status and equal values are going to recognize each other and almost mutually agree to escalate the relationship. It just takes the cream off the pudding when a man who is a janitor asks out a woman who's an investment banker.

  • SUCH a good question, I'm flattered that you took the time to notice this!

    Reciprocity is key for me, if I feel like I have to keep chasing her and I get nothing in return. In other words, she takes and doesn't give back, I don't really feel the need to keep chasing her when I could put my interest elsewhere. Do you know what I mean?

    Let me put it this way, now that women have become more independent they have the freedom to leave a guy whenever she wants to - for whatever reason that might be. I am not upset about this fact, I think it's great that women don't feel dependent on men. More power to you.


    I understand most women enter relationships with a lot of insecurities and it's overlooked a lot. Reciprocity is key, and we don't really have a reason to keep giving with nothing in return.


    This depends. If you smother us, we run. If you give us too much of a chase, we leave. You've go the right idea though. Guys do need a chase to keep coming back. My golden rule is: "Don't go hunting, go fishing." Give a little, then let him come back for more. Don't make him keep chasing, it bores him and makes him think you don't appreciate him


    This all depends on the guys experience with women. If he has trust issues, chances are, he's waiting for someone to break that for him. If he is used to being catered, he doesn't want a chase, he can find another girl that will throw herself at him. If he knows how to keep the girl coming back, he doesn't feel the need to persue her. Seek out mature men, it sounds like you're on the right path. I'm glad you recognize this, rather than deny it


    Naw, it's not ALL your fault! It's a matter of finding a balance between the two extremes. Throwing yourself at him and giving nothing in return for his good efforts.

    If you have any questions, feel free to ask



    • What should I do if the guy I like only texts me when I text him? He never initiates anything unless I come to him first.

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    • I'll put it this way. If I know I have options and I am not ready to get married, I have a hard time finding reason to settle down. Most relationships with girls in their early twenties consist of a lot of insecurities (on both parts) - it's a headache.

      If the guy isn't persuing you - in other words, there is no reciprocity - move on. Either he thinks he is too good for you and wants you to keep chasing after him, or, doesn't know how to say "I'm not interested," in a nice way. Your call.

    • On the real. I speak for a lot of guys when I say if you get light rejection enough times, even if it's a "I'm not going to give it to you that easy", it gets old. We learn that if we keep chasing something, it's a lot of energy wasted. I don't think females, even centuries ago, put up as much of a chase back then as I see nowadays. I understand why you do it - it makes you feel good when we keep coming after you. It's about meeting us half way though, follow me?

  • Well first off, I'm a rather passive male, and no this doesn't make less of a man, I just am not the sort of over confident uber alpha male you usually encounter. I very much like to make it very clear to a woman I might be interested in that she always has a choice if she wants to see me. I will force no woman into submission for anything, it's just not how I'm wired. If a woman is to be with me it's because she wants to be, and even if we have been together for an extended period of time and she chooses to leave me, while it would definitely hurt me I would let her exercise her choice and let her go. I must admit with my being passive I like to be pursued, but not because I'm lazy, but because I like knowing she is interested, it removes all doubt. Once I know she is interested I most definitely participate in the pursuit, I respond so she knows I'm interested too, but I'm all about subtlety and patience. You might work next to me for 3 years and never even know I'm there and then all of a sudden you realize there is more to me than meets the eye.

  • The Ludwig Boltzman Institude in Vienna, Austria did a huge study of dating, marriage and relationships. This study went on for years, with thousands of people of different races, nationalities and religions. Here's what the study found:

    You know the thermostat on your wall that controls the house's temperature? The study found that women are the thermostat of a relationship. An institute spokesman said, "you can predict male behaviour by female behaviour, but not the other way round." (Quoted in the 14 Jan 2001 issue of New Scientist magazine.)

    This means that women have a hell of a lot of power to make or break a relationship. It might sound like that's a question of "blame", but the subject is far more complex. In summary, the study discovered that men are generally _very_ easy to please. We're rather like puppies: we want to play, we want a belly rub, we want a treat occasionally; and we really, really, really want your praise and kindness and will act a little stupid to make you laugh. We respond a lot better to positive reinforcement (praise and rewards) than to negative reinforcement (yelling, complaints and nagging). If women treat men like puppies, they'll respond like puppies: with complete loyalty, dedication and hard work until we die. But if women treat men with counterproductive negative complaints, disrespect and headgames, men will act like naughty dogs and pee all over everything, bark all night and hump anything that moves.

    So if men aren't chasing women, it's mostly because women have altered their thermostat so they're too hot or too cold for comfort. And if men aren't chasing women, it's because they're expecting to housetrain us not with positive rewards, but will negative feedback.

  • 2/2 why the limited answer space all the time...

    next maybe 5-6 girls on the street. therefore I would say it is not so much lazyness but actually supply that at last came down to a reasonable level. (because who said that investing days and weeks and maybe months or years even in a "maybe" was ever justified in the first place?)

    the fundamental problem is the following: what we are most limited on is time so its the thing we don't want to waste for something that has very little promise of safe return and no guarantee whatsoever and since you can't really expect guarantees in this area that will diminish the effort that is put in yet more and this is something majorly true for men but also for women.

    throw in financial support and independence for and of single mothers and social acceptance levels higher than ever also their selection behaviour changed. and it changed much more when condoms or especially the pill became mainstream.

    if you look at the average attention-span of humans it shortened considerably over the last few years, similarily access to selected information and pretty much anything became extremely fast and whenever or whereever you are sex also underwent these shifts to a degree, if not for its own sake then at least to fit into our daily scedule. and with the huge growth-rates of cities and their inhabitants the chances of seeing him her again are slim to none.

    now being someone that is aware that he is one of many you have to take chances as they come and few think they can keep to themselves the luxury of playing around while most actually are out there finding the "one other significant".

    of course there is also the scientific fact that women play the leading role in mating rituals like in first contact and this might yet be another reason as to why they take yet another more pro-active approach...

    whatever the case I sincerely hope you find what you wish for, even if it is something few others would go for in the long run...

    other than that I would also not give a sh*t about games, although here is a fun one I like to play: when I respond to something I do it honestly and if the other party was expecting me to read their minds they can kindly go f*** themselves because there is other stuff and other tails I can start chasing any time :)

    of course that paradoxically takes control away from women by forcing them to also adapt to changes in their surroundings mating approaches but only if these individuals want all three sides of the coin at the same time: all of the choice, all the time, as well as artificially high standards that aren't backed up by anything that actually adds value to the others life i.e. giving something for what they are getting

    dont get me wrong everyone is able and willing to chase something that is really desireable, but I guess it has to enrich your life with more than just a few flaps of meat that admittedly feel good and I guess that goes for all of us: IT IS FUCKING MUTUAL IN ALL ASPECTS!

  • These days we have better things to do besides keep crawling back to a gril who constantly either ignores us, slaps us, insults us or humiliates us trying to "win her over".

    You want us? Come and get us.

    • Not anymore.

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    • It takes two. Haven't you ever heard of that? As for expecting you guys to pay for everything, not our faults at all since men love to feel that they can provide for the woman and we have gotten used to that over the years . This goes way back in the old days where men were the only ones working while they wanted there wives to stay home and cook and clean. The average men like to feel like they can support a woman or be the bread winners of the relationship. Most men insist on paying at most.

    • Problem is that now some guys who are broke seem to be the ones complaining about this. Its just what most men are taught to do and what they see and what women are used too. We don't always want you to pay but in the beginning, yes. However, some women take advantage of it and never pay and want the man too all the time which can be a problem but most guys feel they should pay at first but the broke ones are not gonna like it.

  • Show me a woman who's worth chasing, and I'll chase her.

    Most girls are inconsistent, cruel, insecure, in debt, and can't talk about anything other than their feeeeelings.

    Not worth my time.

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    • Yeah but a lot of us act a certain way so its hard for guys to believe we are out there. Same for guys. So many no good losers out there who just want to see how many women they can stick there things in that its hard for us to see if there are any decent guys left.

    • I do agree with you Fitz. Well done. To those who criticized the debt comment, debt is a huge sign of immaturity (guys do it too, but still I have no interest in getting into a relationship with your terrible finances and debt collector). Inconsistent: hit the nail right on the head. Cruel, Inconsiderate, Ungrateful. I don't have time for it. I will chase the right woman, but until that time comes, I know better. I will not tolerate being treated with such disrespect.

  • I have never chased a woman in my life. In my personal opinion, there haven't been any worth chasing, except one, but she didn't require she doesn't really count. I've been with her since, by the way. There are more practical things for a man to waste his time on than women, because there is rarely any significant, long-lasting reward for all the work.

  • Girls cheat more then males now. you can google the results if you don't think so. We no longer want to stress about females while we know there's plenty of other fish in the sea. Females now need to prove their more then a lovely figure. Give us something we want to hold on to, that no other girl has to offer.

  • It could be that we have better things to be doing.

    Why is there a chase?

    What does this statement say about YOUR ego?

    "I feel girls are chasing guys now that guys have lost that want to pursue or chase us when we leave."

    Maybe YOUR attitude has something to do with guys not chasing you.

    Water under the bridge is water under the bridge. Maybe they guys that you surround yourself with have realized that you just want the chase and you're trying to play mind games with them. Maybe they've decided that the JUICE isn't worth the squeeze.

    • Not me we are talking about but I'm saying for girls in general. What I notice and other girls notice more now. why are you making this personal? You don't my life. This is a general question that most girls complain about.

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    • You've missed the point of my response. We're talking past each other, I'd prefer not to bother anymore.

    • Ok. take care

  • wow ok first of all somebody seems to have a major issue here...

    and not just somebody, a lot of guys seem to see this as a hot topic as well.

    first of all the topic consists of four parts, why this is how it is on a general level, why on a personal one, and the second, for whom the "earlier" state is better and why and for whom the current state is better and why.

    as many considered there is the issue with girls giving it "too easy" but that is actually already an opinion, saying it neutrally would mean: "it is an issue of supply and demand" however it is a special case of such namely as you already somehow state: it is the special case where a group has a monopoly on something and "decides" its price that way it can be kept artificially high because if none of the providing side go below the "agreed" price then the buying side will simply have to pay since there is no other supply. then another thing happens: some women realize (just sooner than others but eventually all of them) that they want sex relationships etc. in short the whole package as well so they can't keep sitting on it forever and wait for men to sucker up and pay the full price.

    so what happens is some start to give it away a little easier than others because they say hey, if I undercut prices a tiny bit, I have all the choice even if my goods aren't the best out there but if I'm the only one selling everyone will come to me, and that will start other girls thinking and therefore doing the same thus creating a wave that later on turns into competition not for single men but even before that simply for choice and therefore chance of getting one of the "good" ones.

    the problem with this monopoly and its artificially high price is that its not like OPEC where very very few supply a huge number of buyers but actually a scenario where buyers and sellers are roughly the same amount and everyone is competing with everyone.

    now think as social dogma as a means to control the market, its like strict regulations or free trade zones, if the dogma says you have to go out at least twice in order to get some booty (ARRR!) then of course that raises the price and obviously women as a whole will get more out of it, whatever that may be. remove the regulation and supply and demand will even each other out given enough time to erode old standards that still persist somehow also removing a bar that people all over the place could take their "dates-before-sex" counter and haves and have-not's from without having to constantly adapt to the group in fear of loosing out by beeing to restrictive.

    this is actually another place for misconception, namely that men are out ONLY for sex because it is their genetical imperative to spread their seed as far as they can and for women to catch and bind a or multiple men and make them work for her and her possible offspring as long as possible, I actually think that it is wrong to assume that even most men do it only for that because that would mean that any guy looking for a relationship flat out is a evolutionary faliure which in my eyes seems very unlikely given the amount of men looking just for that.

    • That misconception however led to an overprotective behaviour because people someone thought that they could keep these powerhorses of "hit and run" to them if they made them invest time/money/thought and threatened to destroy that if he stepped out of line. this is where yet another misconception comes in namely that they thought themselves too unique and therefore important, while a man could find an equally beautiful and healthy mate to mate with simply by looking and approaching the

  • Guys figured out that girls actually don't like sex so they simply stopped trying. Men everywhere have learned that just inside a girls hole their nerve endings can't feel anything. Trust me: it's no coincidence that girls say size doesn't matter. The ultimate size for a girl is zero...(you got to wonder why evolution didn't favor a male appendage above the shaft that vibrated and rubbed on the clit during sex...though I digress) Don't believe me? All you got to do is look around. Girl on girl sex is getting more common...and not coincidentally guys are getting into anal (to the hatred of women everywhere) because instinctively some guys know that soon enough they'll have to turn to other guys when ladies have no sexual need for dudes. Sure evolution will keep the dude around, but since one guy could populate an entire country with a teaspoon of ejaculation, they'll only need a couple of selective sad straight dudes for insemination purposes only.

    • Lol! What? You sound ignorant as hell. We love sex but we also love LOVE. All that other stuff you said made no sense. Guys aren't gay because they couldn't get women no more. Its either a choice or a defect in birth. A str8t man would never turn gay unless he has gay tendencies. There's a g-spot in mens rectums that women can't satisfy but onbly another man could. That's why some gays are strictly gay and not bi and lesbians like the soft and smooth sex that other women can only give.

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    • Lol! No. I didn't say that I want good boys to treat us bad like bad guys but to be more exciting like that and have charisma. That's what attracts us to bad guys although we hate how they treat us at the end, we love the confidence and smoothness about them, they are not boring and for some reason know how to please well in the bed/ Most of them. bad boys have that tough image, strenght about them. Some good guys can have this but they don't show it much or just too nice and that is not exciting.

    • Hahaha, naw man, women love sex - you just need to know how to push the right buttons and stop hitting the wrong ones.

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 37

  • There are many factors to consider. 1- MONEY- there's been a shift in financial power in the household. ladies seem more able to support themselves without the direct help of a male. men, in turn, feel less need to put out than in the past. 2-WOMEN- we set the tone for how men treat us. so more and more females don't expect males to chase us or be chivalrous or open doors and pull out seats, therefore, guys don't do it. 3- SOCIAL CHANGE- it's now acceptable for women to chase men, so the playing field has evened out some. years ago, women couldn't even drink at a bar alone for fear of being thought of as a loose, street walker.

    • Wow. that was really good. The best answer to this question. thanks!

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    • Very broad statements that are untrue with your typical male. Just saying.

    • You've left out another important factor. Girls have become far too selective. Why should we guys invest our emotions and likely be shot down in a ball of flames by rejected by some stuck-up girl? The "I'm just be friendly." has been worked to death.

  • Easy there with your finger pointing. I blame both. Why? Here's why, with so many people being so easy and all these friends with benefits relationship why should they chase? A solid relationship does not require any one person to do more legwork than the other in my opinion. It should be a give and take and take and give. If two people are solid with themselves they will be so in a relationship. The problem is that people in general (not just one sex) don't allow themselves to have that solidity prior to getting into a relationship. In turn, a whole slew of problems and head games come to head.

    By the way, it's a little ironic that you post this.

  • honestly guys don't like games. I hate games myself. I hate guys making me jealous on purpose, I have dumped a guy because he did that and I was like good riddance. no, it's just annoying and I think honesty and communication are the most important things you got to have.

  • I'm sure there are a lot of reasons a guy chases a woman but I think the two main are going to be for love and sex.

    Well since women don't wait till marriage anymore guys don't have to bend over backwards to try and convince a girl that sex is a great idea. She is just as willing. And the irony of it is that since women get so strongly attached after sex, the guy doesn't have to put work in after the first time. She is going to do all the calling and chasing cause she is so attached.

    The other guys that do the chasing are the ones that want love and like Subotai so amazingly put, those are the guys that are unfortuantely seen as creepy. That's why I love how many women are obsessed with Edward in Twilight. If that guy lived in real life, you would put a restraining order on him!

    The other thing about the romantic guy who will chase you is that he wants it to be a two way street. He wants just as much as he is giving. And when he spent months to years giving and giving only to be left by the woman, why in the world would he chase another woman? Just to give and give and have her leave?

    The man who is my partner, I had to chase him. I had never in my life had to pursue a guy and it hurt the hell out of my pride to romance this guy. But I could tell there was something different about him. He wasn't just some lazy dude who didn't want to put any effort into it. Like I had to call him first everyday. It was weird cause the second I would call him it's like it opened the flood gates to allow him to call me all he wanted that day. But until I called him, he didn't call me. That went on for about 2 months at the beginning. Then he finally called me whenever he wanted. The first time we gave Christmas gifts to each other, because he always seemed so tempered, I gave him something small so he wouldn't feel bad that I gave too much and he gave me 2 handmade items and 2 bought items. I felt awful. And the next couple times we gave gifts to each other, he had toned back and I kicked it up. It took me awhile to get over my pride of having to do that but sure enough he started giving me the most amazing gifts again. At first I thought, "I'll be damned if I'm the one chasing! Men chase me! Not the other way around!" but the more I learned about his past the more I realized why he was so cautious with me and I had to swallow my pride and keep giving. Now, I can't stop the man from giving to me! I could say "I wonder what the temperature in Iceland is today?" and he will have Googled it before I finished saying it. I realize now that he just needed someone to show him that it's safe to chase again cause she isn't going to reject it and she isn't going to sit on her ass and let him do all the work. He spoils me like no other man I have ever been with but I spoil him so much he probably thinks he died and has gone to heaven.

    It's fun to be chased but taking turns chasing makes for so much more love.

  • I think most women are so venal that it's a turn-off. Guys resign themselves to prostitutes more and more...

    • Bravo.

      Bonus points for the use of "venal" That's the perfect word to describe too many modern women.

  • I blame girls too. Not me though. I'm 23 and still a virgin. I'm not the virgin mary or anything. I'm a sexual person and I love foreplay but when it comes to giving it up I think a lot of girls give up the sex part too easily. They forgot they need to make a man work for it. I haven't found one worth it so I'm still a virgin. Guys need to be put out of their mindset. Most are lazy and just want what they want. I had a girl give me a good analogy.

    If a guy had a choice of picking up a not so good apple off the ground or climbing the tree to get to the beautiful ripe one, they are gunna do what is easier and just get the one off the ground. Come on girls make em earn it!

    I do know a few good ones that know how to court a lady appropriately.

    • At least a few women are willing to understand that it's not all men's fault. Thanks for being reasonable and realistic.

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    • Yes girl because I know some men who don't even have to know a woman or the woman does not even have to be dressing a certain way or acting a certain way and they are still lazy and wouldn't chase or treat with respect.

    • I as a man don't like wasting my time

  • Who likes a chase?! I hate playing games. If he acts like he's not interested then I'm not wasting my time. I don't want to have to prove myself to a guy that I'm good enough for him.

  • It's true I think in a way. Sex is wayy to easy for a lot of guys to get now. Not saying all girls are easy, but it only takes a few to make it accessible for the guys. So guys feel they don't have to make that commitment anymore.

    Also, I think that it has to do with money as well. Maybe guy's aren't sending flowers or buying dinner or paying for movies as much anymore because they don't see much of a return. Not saying they are just looking for sex. But appreciation I think. There are girls who take advantage of a guy's wallet. They see him as a way to get free meals, free movies and whatever else. It's not right, but they do it anyway. That could be another reason. It is pretty costly to do anything anymore, and people have to pay for school, or rent or whatever else. So its not always an option.

  • Honestly I have no idea... but I do feel that dating is dead. That's so sad and unfortunate but at least in my experiences, guys don't want legitimate relationships when they're from ages 20-25. Most guys I've met either want to hookup with a hot/dumb girl who they can disrespect WITHOUT feeling guilty about it (well if she's easy, why not? what's wrong with that?) Or they'll settle down with a girlfriend who is EASY to deal with. I just graduated but when I was in college, almost all of the legitimate "couples" I observed had SUCH high school style relationships. Fighting constantly about dumb crap, control issues/struggles, TONS of cheating, and overall neediness on the part of the girls.

    I agree with you that overall girls have made it too easy for guys. The fact that "just hooking up" is even an option for guys these days completely changes the game. In past generations, most guys knew that if you wanted a goodlooking and respectable girl, you would most likely have to be her "boyfriend" to get the goodies. These days, people actually AGREE to have relationhips where its a known fact that it's just sex. I think there's a major trend of "women trying to hookup like guys do" and that's really screwed up the dynamics of what guys need to do to "court" or win over a woman. THese days, unfortunatelly, it doesn't take much.

    kind of rambled a bit ;) but that's my 2 cents

    • No you said it just right. That's exactly what I was talking about. I blame TV mostly because women are degraded on there all the time

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    • To expand on spelunker's point, Tv is also treating fathers like morons. If you'll notice on these sitcoms, the fathers are braindead idiots. Its very degrading.

      Tv shows like the hills ugh. I don't even want to talk about that stinking pile of $%&$

    • as a man who spent his 20s trying unsuccessfully to get a relationship with a woman, I can honestly say they do not make it to easy on us. now as I am turning 31 I'm done with women and at peace with that decision. it was a long hard choice that took a decade of experience's to come to, I still find women attractive and I'm still lonely but its just a passing thought now mostly. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted no longer being subject to women!

  • To be honest with you, most girls are so out there and willing to give anything for a guys attention (yes, anything), that guys are just at the point that they don't have to worry about anything. They will get what they want whenever they want it. They have so much confidence that if one girl doesn't ask them, another will...exactly like you said: it is us to blame!

    It actually makes it harder for other girls to date or even find a nice guy.

  • I blame women too. Why? Men, as a whole are creatures of habit, they do what they think works. If all the girls in the world decided that long hair was sexy, millions of men would be growing their hair out.

    Girls these days for some reason are getting sluttier and more desperate by the year. Enjoying sex does not make you a slut, but having sex indiscriminately before you even know what they guy is about it just foolish and stupid. After the sexual revolution and people started getting more carefree, the value of sex dropped. Coincidentally, studies have shown that young women who are "slutty" and participate in casual sex have the highest rates of depression and report being dissatisfied with their lives. Hmm..interesting.

    Anyways, back to what I was saying some women took the whole feminism thing too far. I'm glad that we aren't seen as just props and objects to make a man's life easier, but where did we get the message that we should take a man's role and do everything that he does? Now we have a whole generation of guys who either have little respect for women, or who don't know how to be a man because they don't have to. Guys don't have to chase and pursue women because there will always be women that throw themselves and do the chasing for him. We have forgotten that, hey we are worth working for, we shouldn't just give ourselves so easily in the name of "equality". Because at the end of the day the guy will get what he wants (sex) but the girl will be left looking stupid when he doesn't commit

  • After reading all the responses here, I honestly think I know now. It's just that men have become accustomed to seeing women make a move, so more of them sit back, and wait for women to make a move on them, because it's "clearer" to them -they don't have to chase this way. Back in the old days, women never made a move cos it was a social or etiquette taboo, so men HAD to make a move, or were expected to - that was the dating 'system'. But nowadays its like total confusion cos noone knows what the etiquette is anymore in modern courtship, it's anything goes, it just depends on the person.

  • Guys are getting lazy I think?

    And I think 'chasing girls' was kinda a more old-fashioned thing, when guys used to pursue women and buy them flowers and charm them, and kinda like almost stalking or bombarding them. I think guys are more laid back now, and they just want to meet people by chance, like through friends or activities etc. But I'm also generalising, if you want someone to chase you I'm sure someone would! I personally like the more relaxed approach from guys, but I also like it when they try to do something for you, I appreciate the effort.

    • I definitely agree with the lazy thing...esp considering the options that men have...but tell me one thing...what would you say about girls expectation levels...esp considering the "swept away by a prince" dream/ expectation that every girl has ?

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    • To krrishtiano: I think I still have that dream yeah :). I still wanna be swept away by a prince-like guy, but most guys end up being frogs that never turn into princes :(. Girls get tired of kissing toads, so in reality, I think most people are just happy to be with anyone who's not a jerk. Well, I think all women really want is to be treated with love, care, & respect, and be the one you love more than yourself- I think that's love.

    • I agree with both you girls...partially though. I may have exaggerated the "swept away" part, but I still don't agree with the perception among girls that guys are not chasing girls anymore (cmon life would be so so boring without girls). The expression on a girls face (without generalizing) when I do something good to make her happy is priceless for me, especially if I happen to care about the girl...peace

  • Save one mistake when I was 16-17, guys have always chased after me.

    Despite what guys may say, chasing after you, if you're a girl, is basically the only surefire way you know a guy is into you. A guy's not going to waste his time and energy chasing after a girl who he has no interest in. Granted, he may be chasing you for the wrong reasons (i.e. for sex).

    Be careful though, you don't want to play mind games with a guy. Just keep your cool and he'll chase.

    IN CONCLUSION: Guys WILL chase so long as you actually have something to offer. You have to be "different".

  • Yeah, girls are way more easy nowadays=P, I don't know know though I think it depends on the guy, my now Boyfriend of 7 months chased me to the bitter end it was a lot of fun actually, but he's the type to get what he wants so I think it has to do with the guys' personality

  • I think it's because we live in a very slutty generation lol. I know very few 14 year olds who are still virgins... its kinda gross if you ask me. Not all girls throw themselves at guys but the majority of us do, so to the guys they can get any girl because most of us are whores... no offense.

    • Why are we whores for enjoying sexs like guys have been doing for centuries? We used to be oppressed for enjoying our sexuality for years before the 90's and 2000's and now that we are wise enough to know our bodies well enough to enjoy sex and feel sexy, we are whores? I cannot stand ignorant people like you that put your own sex down becuase you believe in the stereotype men came up with to control us and make us feel guilty for exploring our sexuality. Its that thinking is why guys don't chase

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    • Thank you Teddyluver, I have no interest in marrying/dating a woman who has slept with guys left and right. For 1, she probably is disease infested. 2, the woman who gives herself away is not worth chasing. What's the prize? more emotional baggage, a low sense of self-worth? No thanks. (I am a virgin FYI so don't go there.) Question asker, You want to know why the jerks are atracted to you? Its because you give it up. They know it. That's why they swarm at you like sharks smelling blood.

    • Thanks Teddyluver but that leaves the question do virgin guys have to settle for sluts then?

  • I agree that guys of our generation no longer court or chase us anymore. Seems like as soon as you give a guy your number he thinks automatically "okay sex time" when in reality (at least with me) its not like that. I wouldn't say "us" as a whole is at fault because that would be a false statement. But I will say that some women and society it self has made it much easier on guys. Now they expect instant gratification. haven't you guys heard "good things come to those who wait" or what about "some things are worth working hard for"

    • Oh they appreciate a good woman when they are through playing around. While playing, there used to not having to wait because like you said, a lot of girls make it easier for guys than before.

  • I'm not trying to be offensive here but most men are cowards. They'd rather be trampled by a flaming 3,000 pound tiger than talk about their feelings. Instead of just saying I like you or I don't like you, they wait for us to say it. Now, I believe there should be more balance but that doesn't mean it's gonna happen. I don't think that we should have to chase them but they shouldn't have to chase us either.

    It's about time that all of us, instead of chasing, just flat out say whether we're into someone or not. All this relationship/mixed signs stuff is getting quite ridiculous. We need to know what we feel and how we feel and tell people exactly that.

    • The reason we don't want to talk about our feelings is because when we do, women tend to tell us we don't have a right to our feelings, tell us how wrong we are, and try to use out words to control us.

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    • If a women is going to tell you that you don't have a right to your feelings or tell you you're wrong or try to control you, I don't believe that she cares for you that much if she's just going to dismiss your emotions. Like one of you has said actions speak louder than words and those actions are simply unacceptable if you ask me. If she expects respect from you why should she get it if she won't respect you?

    • Along with the actions speak louder than words thing, I've also noticed most of my fellow females are quite obilivious. We'll think something means a guy's into us when it doesn't or we'll overlook a guy trying to show his interest because "he's just being nice." We're just as not understanding as most of the male population. No gender gets it any more than the other.

  • LOL.. women are chasing men these days and its very pathetic to watch and funny too =)

    its funny though, because even after a girl chases a guy and gets him, he leaves her for a girl who he had to chase. Irony?

  • When a guy likes a girl & he knows that the girl likes him back/ feels the same way about him, the thrill of the chase is gone because he knows he already has her, so then he doesn't make much of an effort to "go after her". The girl then has to start the convo often -this is VERY common among young people nowadays.

  • What guys liked to for thousands of years ago, they still like to do it now.

    But they key factor here, old times it wasn't playing games, girls were hard to get because they were brought up that way!

    Not to give in to anyone unless he's a worthy so eventually they'll get married..hmm..These days. NOPE! Girls would sleep around with anyone when they're drunk.. maybe if he's cute! So, if you don't have any standards your just playing games, why on earth would he wanna chase you?

  • are you said females make it too know guys like the easy way technology makes it easier.

  • Girls are chasing guys for sure, I personally think you have to let him know you are interested but not be so attentive it bothers him.

  • men don't chase women anymore because if they don't find it in you they will just look somewhere else

    • True. A woman has to be really really special to him for him to want to chase. The keyword is WANT. A lot of these guys nowadays don't want to chase girls period becuase they do not see our worth anymore. Until they meet a girl that blows there mind, that all seems to change.

    • False. Why would a guy want to chase a woman if she treats him like cr@p. I will NOT have sex before I married. I know these games that some women like to play and to tell you the truth, I'm sick and tired of them. Its hard to compete in a relationship with a woman when you are battling her ego.

    • Question asker I curious to know why do you think I should "chase" but from your remarks you think you shouldnt chase?

  • I feel 100% like you

  • I totally agree wif u...we ve been acting like desperate girls...prolly TV influence

  • gosh I didn't know it is so bad now...

  • Yes they do there just picky so they can find the right one

  • the times have changed. I think we've moved to too much of an extreme. we wanted to be liberated from the chains of men, so they've let us go. completely. and never went after us. I think it's honestly both, but starting with men. because of how they treated women in history and we had to break free, but there must be an equilibrium. adam has no eve if eve doesn't want to be cared for, or at least if she touts it. I think it's a sad fact. but fear not! there are still prince charmings out there. I promise you that! or just move to the south :) southern gentlemen are the best :)

    • I recall it was adam and lilith, eve came in later, newer versions and pg versions cut out lilith and replaced her with a snake.

  • some girls play too difficult to can frustrate guys

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