Homecoming Tips for Guys

Homecoming season is here, and it's a great time for all high school students.

For girls, it's easy. All girls do is slip on a Goodwill dress, get ready in about 10 minutes, look for guys to hook up with, get wasted, and have sex (repeat at Prom). They're simple-minded.

But for high school boys, it's a whole different world. Homecoming is a bigger deal for us guys (I remember those stressful days as a high school guy). We spend so much more time on the dance, and it's more meaningful for us than the girls. So, here are my tips for having the best homecoming possible for high school males.

Getting Dressed Up

Girls have it made: They buy the cheapest dress, slip it on, and don't bother doing anything extra for the dance. For guys, it's basically a full-time job. When you shop with your friends, you probably spend an hour deciding whether or not you want a tuxedo, shirt, and tie, or just a regular collared shirt. Then, there is the decision on pants. After you dump most of your money on an expensive outfit, you try it on. Don't let your friends be too critical of you. I know many teenage guys judge each other on how they look, dress, etc. The truth is-Find an outfit which works for you. Don't worry too much about being the most "handsome" guy at the dance, and the guys who care too much are just jealous of you.

To have a date, or not to have a date

The good news is: You're a guy, and it's more socially acceptable to be a dateless guy than a dateless girl. Girls are pressured to have dates, and if they don't, they're known as the "losers who can't get any." If you want a date, that's great. I know many girls find creative ways to ask guys to the dance. If you don't want a date, or can't find a date, that's great too. Many people, especially guys, just go with their friends, and dance the night away. Those are the same guys who post group photos of themselves doing poses, and hugging each other at the dance. This is fine. However, if you bring a date, here is what I recommend.

Assuming you're a heterosexual male, first off, do NOT do anything your girlfriend pressures you to do. Many girls(it happened to me) will do anything they can to have sex with you after the dance is over. They may even physically harass you at the dance, or say vulgar things to persuade you. Whatever you do, be safe! Rape is very common on homecoming dance nights. Please, be responsible, and remind her that no means no!

Before the Dance

So, you have an outfit, and a date, and it's still 8 hours until the dance, so now what? Chances are, your girlfriend offered to buy the tickets, and reserve somewhere to eat (assuming you have a date). Well, this is the perfect time to take group pictures with your friends. It's also the perfect time for us guys to do a "finishing touch." This can include doing your hair, editing your photos, taking selfies, getting "dolled up." It's especially important for guys to have the absolute best hygiene for the dance, and have a presentable appearance.

After the Dance

I already mentioned the dangers of girls pressuring men into sex. However, at many after-parties, there is alcohol and drugs available. Most drugs (even weed in most places) is illegal for anyone, and since virtually everyone at homecoming in under 21 years of age, you can't legally drink either. However, you'll notice your girlfriend, and her friends are the biggest binge drinkers, doing keg stands, smoking weed, playing beer pong, etc. They often call each other "pussies" for not engaging in risk taking behavior. It's important to not allow your date to pressure you into drinking, or doing drugs. It's very common for a girl to pressure a guy into drinking, then pressure guys into sex. Most high school guys are naive, and are often afraid to engage in this type of behavior, so it's important to stand up to her, and not fall into peer pressure.

...And please, just have fun! Homecoming is an exclusively high school event, and they are some of the best dances of your life!


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What Girls Said 1

  • 2mo

    This is satirical, right? Lmao
    And image 3 was actually kind of a turn on tbh...

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    • 2mo

      It HAS to be satirical. As a teacher, I can tell you right now there isn't an epidemic of horny teenage girls (here in the United States of America) taking advantage of teen guys.

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    • 2mo

      Here in the United States, here is the difference between Homecoming, and Prom. Keep in mind, these are GENERAL differences, and not true for every single high school.

      Homecoming always occurs during the beginning of the schoolyear, which is usually in September, or October (It's rarely as early as August, and rarely as late as November). Homecoming isn't just a dance; It's a weekend. There is a Homecoming Football (American Football) game on Friday, and the dance is the next day. The Homecoming Dance is less formal (People don't dress up as much). Generally speaking, any high school can go to Homecoming (Regardless of grade level), and there is no "After Homecoming" to attend.

      Prom always occurs at the end of the year, in April, or May, has a strict dress code, doesn't revolve around a sport, has a traditional tied to it (Limo-zines, themes, etc.), and is mainly for upper-classmen (Juniors, and seniors). It's supposed to be the "best" time of high school.

    • 2mo

      @EnglishArtsteacher Ahhh makes sense.
      Not fair, you guys get two parties! 😂 In Australia we only have formal, which is our version of prom.

What Guys Said 3

  • 2mo

    This cracked me up! Those poor teenage guys are taken advantage of by a group of naked teen girls! The horror! Lol.

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  • 2mo

    "For girls, it's easy. All girls do is slip on a Goodwill dress, get ready in about 10 minutes, look for guys to hook up with, get wasted, and have sex (repeat at Prom). They're simple-minded."

    I'll just assume that's a bad joke. If you actually believe it, you know less about women than... perhaps any man alive.

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    • 2mo

      Uh... this happens all the time. Teenage girls will have sex with ANY guy, and they don't care about their appearance.

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    • 2mo

      @EnglishArtsteacher Yes, I thought so as well. But based on the reply I see here, I don't think it's meant to be satirical at all...

    • 2mo

      @Fathoms77 I think his replies are satirical as well.

  • 2mo

    I'm not going this year. Gonna try to do the most cynical thing during the dance. Like masturbate. Maybe I'll watch some Netflix afterwatds.

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    • 2mo

      I'm sorry about this! Girls are usually so horny, and desperate, you probably don't want a girl who will use you for sex. When I went to my first homecoming, my girlfriend at the time set a hidden camera up, an filmed us having sex. She showed it to all of her friends (I was so embarrassed).

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    • 2mo

      Lol I wish. I'd screw pretty much all of them. I can only think of a few girls I wouldn't screw. I haven't really noticed girls being like that.

    • 2mo

      @nog642 Just to let you know, this Mytake is probably satire. All of the gender roles are reversed. Most teenage girls (As you know) are prudes who will only have sex with the most popular guys in the school. Women in their 20's aren't much better though.

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