12 Remakes/Sequels I DON'T Look Forward To Seeing

[pervertedjester]

Sometimes Hollywood can really nail A reboot but more often than not they don't. Fantastic Four, Ghostbusters and of course Batman Vs. Superman are all perfect examples of Hollywood pushing a turd up hill with over marketing so people will gladly pay to have the turd hit them. This list is as current as I can make it, due to the unpredictable nature of Hollywood Execs. These are also not ALL the reboots planned, just the ones I have issues with. The ones that make me want to do this-

-to their would be stars. Also, they're stepping on my memories, so it's personal.

Blade Runner 2

C'mon Harrison! You're Better than Arnold. You sir, are a goddamn LEGEND! You don't have to reprise your best roles (it was nice seeing Indy again, though you may want to leave your "son" out of the next one). Plus, the whole 80's dystopian vision of the future doesn't really play well today. Think Zombies next time Mr. Ford.

Beauty And The Beast

I do admit the Emma is a great choice for Bell. But this was the very first movie I took a date to. So you're messing with my 11yr old self's most cherished memory. You'll have to forgive me if I don't see it (I'm sure Kristen doesn't want to see it either). Besides Emma seems like she's becoming just another "judgie" sister of mine lately. Which drops her on my list of favorite actresses.

The Craft

This movie kicked off my love affair with all Magickal Ladies! It also handled the subject of Witchcraft a bit better than most films at the time. I saw it in the theaters with friends on opening night. 90% of the people their were guys. Maybe because it had four of the hottest teen actresses of that time! (I only liked three of them.)

Flash Gordon

I'm only saying no to this one because I'm sure like that horrible TV show they're going to try and make it more serious than it was. I'm pretty sure Lorenzo Semple Jr. was high when he adapted it. I loved it because of its absurdity like "Howard The Duck"; it was known as Stoner movie amongst my friends. I would only see it if Sam J. Jones had a supporting role in it!

It

So it seems that every Stephen King movie is up for a remake (which might be good news for The Lawnmower Man). But how can you dare top Tim Curry as Pennywise? To this day you cannot find a better actor to pull off that kind of a "Slimy Evil" character (except maybe Kim K).

Any New "Star Wars" Film

I wasn't the biggest fan to begin with (I know. I'll cut my right hand off later). I saw the original when I was eight and the Sand People scared me! But over the years I grew to love those first three. The prequels disappointed me so much that I refused to watch anymore. But I did get curious and read some reviews and spoilers... I think I made the right choice.

The Mummy

If there was ever a list of people not to work with it would start with Christian Bale, Shia Le-douche and Tom Cruise. All display signs of over inflated egos. Please Hollywood, do us a favor and make Tom into just a Director/Producer. Or confine him to cameos in Scientologist videos.

The Naked Gun

This one is actually being rewritten as a serious cop movie, WTF! Granted Nielson was unmatched in physical acting but don't take the comedy out of a classic series/movie (even with O.J. in it).

Scarface

This will make the 3rd remake/sequel, thanks to a crappy straight to DVD entry. Pacino was so brilliant in this role that you owe everyone ten years after he dies before remaking it!

Spider-Man

Sony, you do realize he's not Peter Pan. He's Peter Parker who does GROW UP at some point. Garfield could've continued the role in that direction, it would've been a welcome change. Also if you fuck up Venom again, I'm going to come down there and DICK PUNCH you so hard that your great grandfather will feel it in hell! Oh well... back to high school we go!

The Wolf Man

There are only two movies I know of were a Werewolf was cool. Those being Underworld and Teen Wolf (The Movie). Sorry Jack but you were just a tired looking Wolverine at the point you did it, same with Benicio del Toro.

Conan

Arnold... Arnold please stop. Stallone got lucky with two sequels but he's a much better director/writer than you. It is supposed to be a sequel to Arnold's last attempt at playing the character, while completely ignoring the 2011 flop. Dear Governator, please stop embarrassing yourself. Be happy with being recognized as a Legend and maybe just support up and coming directors/actors.

Well that's the twelve the piss me off the most for now. I'm sure it will change shortly. I can only hope you learned a little and laughed a lot. Feel free to add your own list below.

Thanks for reading.

[Luci92]

Well, most of these are before my time xD but there are a few I resonate with.
Beauty and the Beast - For God's sake, Disney, can't you come up with *anything* original anymore that sells apart from Zootopia? Stop with the godforsaken remakes already, I mean, the 2015 Cinderella with Lily James didn't *completely* butcher the original, and I appreciated the costume and aesthetic, but I want new content!
Spider Man - Just no. We need to stop with all these superhero movie remakes. It shall be very interesting to see how Marvel Studios use him though, he was already incorporated in the last Captain America movie.

[Luci92]

Oh, and good take of course :P

[Waffles731]

I agree with the mummy bur and I saw this as a die-hard star warrs fan but Episode 7 WAS FUCKING AWESOME

[Zorax]

I agree with your points on remakes, most of them suck, but sequels are ok, especially Star Wars sequels (much better than prequels).

Conan Destroyer is from the 80's, it's basically Conan 2. The third movie was announced as "Legend Of Conan" (Conan 3) - Arnold is starring as old Conan.
In my opinion, the sequel will be way better than the 2011s remake.
The only complaint I have here is... they waited too long for the sequel, the same thing goes for Blade Runner 2 and Gremlins 3 (if they decide to make the sequel) - We all know why the new Ghostbusters failed.

Spider-Man... I guess every generation of kids need new movie versions of their favorite superheroes, that includes Batman, Superman, Flash and many others.

The Naked Gun - Nobody can replace Leslie Nielsen... the same mistake was made with The Pink Panther, I mean, Steve Martin is a very good comedian, but Peter Sellers is irreplaceable as Inspector Clouseau.

Scarface and Flash Gordon - Yep, you're 100% right.

It, The Wolf Man and The Mummy - True again, however, people love horror movies, and the directors lack new ideas.

Beauty And The Beast - Well, I like seeing Emma in any movie, so... I'm not complaining ;)

The Craft - One of my favorite 90's movies... I don't think a remake would be even remotely as good as the original... but I'd like to see a sequel with at least some of the original cast, especially Robin Tunney and Neve Campbell.

Great Take 👍

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

I did not need to know this :(

You said the mummy and I died a little. Why would this warrant a remake? It's not even that old. It wasn't even bad. 1 and 2 were good.

I laughed at Spiderman though. I thought Andrew Garfield was pretty good as Peter parker, not sure why they need to find another one. At this point they might as well stop trying to cast for the original Peter parker and start casting for the new incarnations. I'm sorta amazed at how poor the movies are of my favorite comics. Like Spiderman is near unsalvageable now and xmen? They're just now starting to redeem themselves with age of apocalypse which i haven't even seen yet cuz im just so done with that franchise for mow, but the dissonance between the marvel verse and the xmen series is jarring and it's weird. >:(

/rant

[pervertedjester]

Yeah they're trying to bring back all the movie monsters of old with a hint at making a monster team movie.

[ObscuredBeyond]

From what I've been following so far, this new Spider-Man is Spider-Man done right. I do agree though, that they need to let him grow up finally. Putting Black Cat, Mary Jane, and Gwen Stacy in here or there is fine; but I really wanna see Ben Reilly and Miles Morales get their heyday!

I never cared for the Conan franchise to begin with. Nor Wolfman. Nor most of the rest of these. Star Wars, I'm a little excited to see them revive it. Though, even they realize by now that Abrams cheated by rehashing A New Hope's plot too much. Hence, why he's not returning as director.

I totally agree that Blade Runner should be left alone. It is completely pointless to revive it.

[dissolute_dog]

Agreed about Spider-Man the most. >:-(

However, it's not Sony Pictures making the creative decisions anymore (even though they have their name on it). It's Marvel Studios calling the shots on this new version of the character, which is why this new version is part of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) with all of the Avengers folks. And the MCU wants this continuity to go on forever if possible --- gotta milk that cash cow --- so that's why they hired someone so young and are going back to high school. :(

Anyway, I was a big fan of "The Amazing Spider-Man" continuity, and Andrew Garfield was awesome as the character, so not getting to see that version's Mary Jane and how she helps Peter through his grief over Gwen Stacy --- and how Mary Jane and Peter eventually get together afterward, of course --- was a huge disappointment and lost opportunity for me. That could've been explored with just one more movie, and if they ended it right there I would have been happy. But no. :(

[JudgmentDay]

I think not only Spiderman, but pretty much every comic book superhero. It's getting really repetitive, one reboot of a trilogy of films, maybe, but multiple reboots. They seem desperate and getting attention and making money. The only reboot for comic book superheroes that many actually found worth watching and interesting is Nolan's trilogy of Batman films, but that's all done now. I doubt Christian Bale would reprise the role now that Ben Affleck is the most recent actor playing the role in a different separate version that involves Superman and the rest of the Justice League of America characters.

[iCroissant]

I think the Wolf Man and The Mummy could be epic, but that depends on how smart the people behind them are.

Particularly for the wolf man: my theory is that the less popular the name of a franchise currently is, the smarter the people put behind the film usually are.

[Tony1974]

Excellent take. Sad that Hollywood lacks imagination and has to ruin the classics. Humanity has been on this planet longer than anyone know; there are so many real stories they could make without having to rehash the same plots every generation