Sometimes Hollywood can really nail A reboot but more often than not they don't. Fantastic Four, Ghostbusters and of course Batman Vs. Superman are all perfect examples of Hollywood pushing a turd up hill with over marketing so people will gladly pay to have the turd hit them. This list is as current as I can make it, due to the unpredictable nature of Hollywood Execs. These are also not ALL the reboots planned, just the ones I have issues with. The ones that make me want to do this-
-to their would be stars. Also, they're stepping on my memories, so it's personal.
Blade Runner 2
C'mon Harrison! You're Better than Arnold. You sir, are a goddamn LEGEND! You don't have to reprise your best roles (it was nice seeing Indy again, though you may want to leave your "son" out of the next one). Plus, the whole 80's dystopian vision of the future doesn't really play well today. Think Zombies next time Mr. Ford.
Beauty And The Beast
I do admit the Emma is a great choice for Bell. But this was the very first movie I took a date to. So you're messing with my 11yr old self's most cherished memory. You'll have to forgive me if I don't see it (I'm sure Kristen doesn't want to see it either). Besides Emma seems like she's becoming just another "judgie" sister of mine lately. Which drops her on my list of favorite actresses.
This movie kicked off my love affair with all Magickal Ladies! It also handled the subject of Witchcraft a bit better than most films at the time. I saw it in the theaters with friends on opening night. 90% of the people their were guys. Maybe because it had four of the hottest teen actresses of that time! (I only liked three of them.)
I'm only saying no to this one because I'm sure like that horrible TV show they're going to try and make it more serious than it was. I'm pretty sure Lorenzo Semple Jr. was high when he adapted it. I loved it because of its absurdity like "Howard The Duck"; it was known as Stoner movie amongst my friends. I would only see it if Sam J. Jones had a supporting role in it!
So it seems that every Stephen King movie is up for a remake (which might be good news for The Lawnmower Man). But how can you dare top Tim Curry as Pennywise? To this day you cannot find a better actor to pull off that kind of a "Slimy Evil" character (except maybe Kim K).
Any New "Star Wars" Film
I wasn't the biggest fan to begin with (I know. I'll cut my right hand off later). I saw the original when I was eight and the Sand People scared me! But over the years I grew to love those first three. The prequels disappointed me so much that I refused to watch anymore. But I did get curious and read some reviews and spoilers... I think I made the right choice.
If there was ever a list of people not to work with it would start with Christian Bale, Shia Le-douche and Tom Cruise. All display signs of over inflated egos. Please Hollywood, do us a favor and make Tom into just a Director/Producer. Or confine him to cameos in Scientologist videos.
The Naked Gun
This one is actually being rewritten as a serious cop movie, WTF! Granted Nielson was unmatched in physical acting but don't take the comedy out of a classic series/movie (even with O.J. in it).
This will make the 3rd remake/sequel, thanks to a crappy straight to DVD entry. Pacino was so brilliant in this role that you owe everyone ten years after he dies before remaking it!
Sony, you do realize he's not Peter Pan. He's Peter Parker who does GROW UP at some point. Garfield could've continued the role in that direction, it would've been a welcome change. Also if you fuck up Venom again, I'm going to come down there and DICK PUNCH you so hard that your great grandfather will feel it in hell! Oh well... back to high school we go!
The Wolf Man
There are only two movies I know of were a Werewolf was cool. Those being Underworld and Teen Wolf (The Movie). Sorry Jack but you were just a tired looking Wolverine at the point you did it, same with Benicio del Toro.
Arnold... Arnold please stop. Stallone got lucky with two sequels but he's a much better director/writer than you. It is supposed to be a sequel to Arnold's last attempt at playing the character, while completely ignoring the 2011 flop. Dear Governator, please stop embarrassing yourself. Be happy with being recognized as a Legend and maybe just support up and coming directors/actors.
Well that's the twelve the piss me off the most for now. I'm sure it will change shortly. I can only hope you learned a little and laughed a lot. Feel free to add your own list below.
Thanks for reading.