This is a letter I spent many a night preparing for, trying my best to decide upon what information I want to discuss with my future daughters and the important topics warranting attention. I wholeheartedly believe that the reason so many women are depressed, lacking confidence, and/or making bad (and potentially dangerous) decisions like being promiscuous or staying in abusive relationships is because of the lack of a strong father figure in their lives. We spend so much time rightfully complaining about how feminists completely destroyed the traditional family unit, yet we remain so silent about the epidemic of absentee, deadbeat fathers who just plant their seed and then leave. I do not want to be that sort of man, but more than anything, I do not want my daughters to grow up without a father. I want to be there for them, and be the best I can be for them.
Fatherhood is the ultimate goal in my life, the one thing that I look forward to most. And more than anything, it is my wish to have daughters. Preferably two. That is not to complain about sons or imply that I would not love them as well, but in my heart I long for daughters. I want to take care of them, even when they are teenagers and become extremely emotional and sensitive. That said, I have written an honest, open letter that I plan to deliver to them together when they are between the age of 16 and 20. I want them to know that I am there, to have the proper parental guidance to navigate the world, but to most of all know that I love them. I have scanned it below.
Assuming the wife allows it, I would like to name my girls Monica Basil and Jennie Marie, the first after Ss. Monica of Hippo and Basil the Great, the second after my mother Jennie and St. Mary of Egypt. I want them to know that I love them, because my own father was always a cold authoritarian.
More than anything at all, I want my daughters to know that this world is broken. There is true evil and darkness. We dwell in the dominion of Death, wherein mothers weep and pain exists. We suffer. Human suffering is the realest reality there is. And it is mostly because of our own bad decisions and perverse attitudes, causing the heart to long for the Divine. This is perhaps the most important, life changing lesson I have ever learned in my short 20 years of existence. The world is broken, and thus there is no point in trying to 'fit-in' or follow its ways. From single parent households to deadbeat fathers, death, and nasty breakups, the world has no idea what it is doing. I want my girls to know that they CANNOT emulate the world, or derive their values from it.
Haters are going to hate, but I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian and my daughters will be raised in the Eastern Orthodox tradition no matter how much disenfranchised atheists on the Political Left would rather me allow the State to raise my children. If I do not teach them the proper values and beliefs at least according to the best of my ability, then the world will and we all know how broken the world is. Every parent has a duty to instill in their children their most sacred values, be it their religious faith, morality, creed, or whatever. The State cannot do it for you.
In an age of rampant promiscuity, premarital sex, and same-sex 'marriage' among other abominations, I believe that sexuality is the ultimate example of how broken, screwed up, and confused our world has become. And as much as I was dreading this topic, it is absolutely essential that every father teaches his daughters about sex, especially males whom even the most experienced women will never understand. We are the only male in their lives.
Cue the angry self-proclaimed 'nice-guy' neckbeards who lurk this forum, but I want my daughters to know just how depraved, cunning, and downright rotten so many "men" are. If this MyTake is any indicator of the perverseness and total lack of any shame whatsoever that characterizes this generation of males (I refuse to use the term "men"), then my daughters need to know. They are going into a world where "men" take pride in ejaculating inside of a woman's mouth hours after seeing a prostitute, as one commenter boasted. In the words of St. Augustine of Hippo, "the blindness of humanity is so great that people are actually proud of their blindness."
I had a scanning error with this page so please excuse the wackiness of this page. But here I present my daughters with my only request as their father: to save their virginity until marriage. I literally wrote this segment upon my knees, because I am begging them to obey. They may not understand when they read it -- half the female readers on here probably do not -- but I strongly believe that sex belongs within the confines of marriage, and that anything less is inherently degrading.
More than anything, I do not want to see my daughters hurt. And NEVER have I seen a single relationship apart from marriage where sex has "heightened" it or been a good thing. On the contrary, I have seen many relationships destroyed and the pain made that much worse precisely because of sex. Our society wields it like a little boy who found his dad's gun. And as the only male my daughters will have in their life until marriage, I am holding myself to the same standard precisely because I want to set the example for them -- to show that it is possible and that "men" have no excuse for not waiting.
But I also do not want my daughters believing that sexuality is a dirty or negative thing. Far too many traditional-minded parents utilize fear tactics and/or shame to compel their children into submission -- my father being one of them -- and I do not want to make the same mistake. I want them to know that it is good, holy, and positive. Yes, even sacramental. But like all things it has its place, something the world has long forgotten since the Sexual Revolution. I want them to know that they can have fun, and take pride in their bodies. They can be sexy, they can party. They can be swimsuit models for all I care. But I want them to remember their values and who they are. But to more importantly remember that there is a line between that and trashiness, one I hope they are able to discern with the right guidance, values, and love from their mother and I.
In the end, I want my daughters to know that they are not alone. They will have family. They will have their mother and whatever family she has. They will have my family, including my mother who is the most important woman ever in my life. They will even have my father, who -- as much as he can be an asshole -- is still a good man who would make a nice grandpa. Least of all, they would have me their devoted father whose ultimate goal in life would be to take care of them and see them succeed.
There is a lot of turmoil in my life right now between starting a new job, scrambling to prepare for the start of the new semester, and dealing with my own issues like self-harm, but the thought of having my own daughters someday is what makes it worth it. Every morning when I feel like the walls are caving in, and my world is falling apart, I tell myself to do it for them, because these are the struggles before the harvest. It is the male equivalent of labour pains. It is the last stage of life, the last set of obstacles I have to endure before I can finally have my daughters.
If in 20 years from now I can go to bed next to a wife whom I love with all my heart, and have two teenage daughters sleeping in the next room, then my life will have been a success. I will fall asleep with a smile on my face because I will know that it was all worth it in the end, and that the pain I feel now was but a faint moment in comparison to the everlasting joy I will possess.
Is there anything I should change about my letter? Anything I should add?
I am especially interested in the feedback of our female posters, because they may be more knowledgable upon the best way to reach out to girls between the age of 16 and 20.
What would you tell your future daughters someday?
@CheerGirl38139 @snowangle @nalaa @ObscuredBeyond @OlderAndWiser @ElissaDido @BCRanger10 @Raven1990
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