I shower with my girl best friend. Does anyone else do this?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes when I'm over at her place after a long night of hanging out, I shower with my best friend, wash each other's hair and such.

Being best friends for a long time, we've gain trust and comfort with one another. Does any other guy or girl do this with their best friend? Whether it'd be the same sex or opposite?

[spuitkaas]

Well I've showered with 2 guy friends and a female friend before in bikini while on vacation for fun but that was kinda it.
I don't think it's a really big problem. If it feels good then it's alright. I mean a lot of people also go to the sauna with a friend and is that really that different?(European sauna's are naked)
Since you're so comfortable with your friend, have you ever thought about becoming more than friends?

[Asker]

Yes I'll admit the thought has ran through my head, as well as hers (she admitted). But we both agree being friends holds a stronger tie.. For now at least. No commitment, no lovey dovey romantic involvment and relationship BS, and she's on the same page. We don't want any of that.

[spuitkaas]

Well let me tell you a story. I was also very close to a guy friend (not as close as showering together but hanging out a lot) so it has also just crossed my mind. I didn't exactly like him, but it had crossed my mind. So I asked if he might wanted to date and kinda see how it goes. Now we're together for half a year or so and he's an amazing guy. The comfortability makes everything a lot easier. I would recommend you to maybe try it. Especially if you think she's attractive, but the choice is yours ofcourse.

[malachimccoy824]

I also took a shower with my friend, Heather while we were in the 8th grade. I saw her hairless vagina; immediately had an erection. She decided to touch my dick at that time. Within a minute, I had an ejaculation.

[SarahsSummer]

Other than my mates, the only person I've bathed with is my brother... When we were 3 and 4.
What you're doing is quite intimate for two grown people of opposite sexes. My guess is one or both of you are kidding yourselves that it's nothing more than a shower.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

*sigh* Another immature person that can't handle that it's possible that not EVERYTHING is about sex sex sex.

[Victorianne]

NO! I am very close to my friends, but we aren't that close. lol I have boundaries. The only time i would have a shower with a guy is if i was in a romantic relationship with him. My female friends don't even get to see me naked let alone a " guy friend"

[Asker]

I figure most people leave that for relationships. Bounderies still exists in our friendship and we know where to draw the line. Thanks for commenting :)

[Victorianne]

My boundaries are obviously not on the same level as yours

[Victorianne]

Thanks for the MHO 👍

[ksoma]

never have, never would.
I am both jealous that you could, and relieved I never have.
I'm jealous because I've had female friends that, even if I could never touch, I would have DIED to see in their full glory.
I'm relieved I haven't because I'm not sure I would know how to act around them as just friends, without my desire to see them getting in the way of a non-sexual, non-romantic relationship

[truthbeknown]

No, that is not something "friends" do. If I had a female friend that was open to that I would assume she is also open to sex.

[Asker]

Just curious, why would you assume that?

[truthbeknown]

That is crossing a line to me. Now you are naked together, washing each other seeing each other naked and touching each other. How do you both restrain from not getting physical?

[Asker]

Well just think of it this way, just like swimming in the pool with a bunch of girls in bikinis. Only difference is what little coverage that swim outfit had is no longer there. It's the human body. No big deal unless you make it so.

I guess both my friend and I have different mentalities than the norm. Not sure how Americans interperate things like this.

[gray_sailor]

Yes, but those bikinis are symbols. They communicate a message. They say "I am not available for sex." The swimsuit does not have to be cover much to say this.
Remove the suit and the message goes with it. Nakedness outside of a clinical situation means "I am available for sex." You and your friend have agreed to ignore this message.

[Asker]

@gray_sailor apperantly we have. I never felt there was a message between her and I. We just simply showered.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

Being naked doesn't mean she consents to sex. Only yes means yes.

[gray_sailor]

@ALittleBlondeGirl

You are correct.

My point more clearly stated would be this:

- If she is naked, she may additionally give consent to having sex.

- If she is clothed, even in a very skimpy bikini, I would expect her to not consent to sex.

- Nakedness (outside the context of medical facilities, locker rooms, spas, nudist resorts and similiar) communicates sexual availability (while fully understanding the need to obtain consent for sex).

The message that wearing a bikini sends, put into words is this:

"I am wearing a bikini."

The message that nakedness sends, put into words is this:

"I may be available to fuck. You should ask me if I am."

The asker and his female friend are clearly not intending this message be sent in either direction. There behavior in this regard is odd, as it conflicts with social convention.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

@gray_sailor You're such a creep..

[gray_sailor]

@ALittleBlondeGirl

Not intending to offend.

Just explaining (one of many reasons) why people wear clothes.

People use nakedness to communicate their intentions. These messages are social conventions. The asker is operating independently of these conventions. That is not in itself a problem, though it may be the basis for a miscommunication.

That is my point.

I will only ever be naked around my wife or my physician. Of those people, I am only available or sex with my wife. Because I don't want to signal sexual availability to other women, I won't be naked around them.

Nothing creepy about that.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

@gray_sailor Nudity does not equal sex. Sorry, I didn't look at your age. I thought it was strange how old fashioned you are. Now it makes sense.

[gray_sailor]

@ALittleBlondeGirl

I'm not saying that nudity = sex.

I'm saying that clothed = not sex.
Therefore nudity is the removal of the inhibition.

In order for the inhibition against sex to exist in the absence of clothing, alternative arrangements have to be formally made.

Consider:

Professional masseuse -- keeps a respectful relationship with nude client. Client remains covered by a towel. Portions of the body are exposed for treatment.

Stripper in "Gentleman's Club" -- she is fully nude at times or throughout her performance. The club forbids any patrons touching a dancer under threat of ejection from the establisment. Additionally, local statutes limit what a dancer can be paid for.

[continued]

[gray_sailor]

In both the above cases, the inhibition provided by wearing clothes has been removed.

In the case of the masseuse, professional licensing and the desire to retain professional standing and employment limit the actions of the masseuse.

In the case of a patron at the Gentleman's Club, sexual titillation is the point of the entire arrangement. Once the clothes come off (and the inhibiting effect they have), new arrangements must be made to provide alternative inhibitions. In this case, the inhibition comes in the form of the walls of human muscle known as bouncers. Decorum is maintained through the overwhelming threat of physical violence.

[continued]

[gray_sailor]

The asker seems to have made an alternative arrangement with his female friend. They see each other as friends and not as potential sexual partners. There is nothing wrong with this.

The potential for problems arises with how third parties might view this relationship.

In my life, I have not been this physically intimate with someone whom I have not also been sexual with. Projecting this quite common interpretation onto their relationship leads to two possibilities

1) They are being sexual together and claims to the contrary are a ruse to get away with that which would not otherwise be tolerated by a romantic partner not in the shower with these two "friends".

2) The both of them maintain poor boundaries and while not (yet) guilty of cheating, they are setting themselves up to where it could happen.

One risk is the possibility of deceit the other risk is an awesome amount of naivete. Either can lead to the same bad end -- rupture of a relationship.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

@gray_sailor Alright, well as long as you realize that lack of clothing is NOT an invitation for sex, then that's all that matters.

CONSENT is the only invitation for sex.

[gray_sailor]

@ALittleBlondeGirl

I am very clear on consent.
(Especially, since i have two daughters older than you.)

I have been speaking of matters regarding implied and infered intent.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

@gray_sailor Again, nudity does not imply sex.

[gray_sailor]

@ALittleBlondeGirl

You make that statement as though it were universally true, instead of being an expression of your beliefs and possibly the beliefs of the asker.

Imagine the circumstance where my wife crawls into bed naked with me and I do nothing. Then the next morning she asks me why I did not make a move on her. If I were to respond to her thusly:

"Well, @ALittleBlondeGirl told me I should not read any message into your nudity."

She would think me quite a fool.

I was very specific in the words I chose.
I used both the words imply & infer.

Implication describes ones own intended communication, however subtle. To imply is to possibly fail to communicate.

Inference describes ones understanding of the communications that may or may not have been initiated by others. To infer is to possibly misunderstand the message or to see a message where there is none.

[continued]

[gray_sailor]

In all communication, context matters.
Your statement as written, "... nudity does not imply sex", is devoid of context.

The universality of your statement removes the power from others to use there own nudity to communicate whatever message they choose.

You don't get to do that.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

@gray_sailor She's your wife. That's completely different from the friendship with this girl. The asker has stated multiple times that they have boundaries. Surely you can't be that ignorant..

The only form of consent is when she verbally consents. Your wife has verbally consented before she even got into bed with you. You and her agree to have sex, that's why you're married.

Outside of marriage, implying nudity is consent or an invitation is misogynistic and unethical. Unless she tells you she consents to sex, then no she does not want it.

A woman's body does NOT speak for her. She speaks for herself and men like you need to listen and respect that.

[gray_sailor]

@ALittleBlondeGirl

You are being obtuse.

I did not
Have Not
WILL NOT

claim that nudity = consent!

How many times will I have to repeat this until you accept this as true?

It's really very frustrating.

Consider this scenario:

As an unmarried man, I lived in a town home next to a divorced woman and her two kids.
Suppose she were to have dropped by my home while her kids were in school. Further suppose that she invited herself into my kitchen and in my presence, completely disrobed.

Using your analysis of the matter, I should take no note of her nudity. I should not consider this as an opportunity to inquire if she would like to have sex with me. I should simply make no notice at all.

She is nude...
In my kitchen...
and there is no meaning whatsoever that can be derived from her actions.

Apparently, the only indication that a woman might welcome an approach is if she gives me a written invitation or straight out tells me to ask her for sex.

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

@gray_sailor
"I did not
Have Not
WILL NOT

claim that nudity = consent!"

That's all that matters. At the end of the day, you shouldn't try anything unless she gives you consent. Again, being naked does NOT equal consent. You can't see a naked woman and just run up to her and shove it in. You HAVE to make sure she invited you in the first place because again, NUDITY is NOT an INVITATION.

[gray_sailor]

@ALittleBlondeGirl

The invitation I'm speaking of is not an invitation to act without further discussion.

It's an invitation to enter into a conversation.

A conversation which may lead to mutual offers of consent.

Consent which would not have been offered without the conversation.

A conversation which would not have occured without the prior nudity.

Nudity which you still assert can never have meaning.

Because only words have meaning according to you.

You may choose to never invest meaning in nudity.

Others may decide to not make the same choice.

[Yellow_]

noo..
I would never do that with my best friend. Even if we are super close.

That is way too intimate.

[Asker]

Well, to each their own. It can be intimate if you let it be, but I rather see it as any other innocent activity. So many funny shower moments with my best friend haha.

[ShysterMcNasty]

Would you poking her in the back with a boner be one of those funny stories

[Asker]

@ShysterMcNasty would you find that funny?

[A_Lolita]

I've done that a few times with a guy friend. He comes in handy when I need to clean my back. Lol.

Though, some people naturally will be suspicious about it.

[Asker]

I know what you mean :(
I don't care though. You make a friendship what you want it to be, not what others think :)

[A_Lolita]

I'll try to remember that 😊
Are any of you in a relationship?

[Asker]

Nope :) and we're happy being single. So doing things like these do not conflict with anything at all. We simply have the time of our lives.

[A_Lolita]

Ok. Just wondering 😊
It can cause problems within relationships.

[malachimccoy824]

I got into the shower with my friend, Heather, and instantly got an erection. She asked me if I was going to use "that". I said, I wasn't sure if I could. She then told me to "stick it in me". I immediately rammed my dick into her vagina and almost instantly has an ejaculation.

[chrisbigman]

I don't, only because I don't have a girl best friend, especially one that showers with me. I don't do this with my best friend, because that's weird since he's a guy. Even if it was with a girl, I might be a little uncomfortable with showering with her because we are only friends - not romantically involved.

[StewieRH]

I've never done this with anyone but me and my boyfriend were best friends before we started going out so I suppose I can see how that could happen, I could be wrong but sounds like your friendship could be escalating into something more.

[AzureGirl]

Eh, my best friend and I sometimes randomly draw a bath and hang out in it, but that's about it.

[Anonymous]

I would think she is trying to entice you to fuck...

Sometimes I shower at my male friends house, but because I'm not gay, and because we're not exploring any of that we definitive wait till the other guy gets out and is clothed.

The only time I have ever shared a shower bath with someone was if she was my girlfriend or like as baby.

[Anonymous]

whut? dude u never get hard when that happens i couldn't handdle it i mean i am not obssessed or something but that is a lot to handle lol

[Asker]

I get hard even when there's no one in the shower with me. Guys have random erections all the time. But to stay relevant to your question; yes I sometimes do but turn away. She gets erected nipples too, even though it's not the same its still similar with her blushing.

[Opinion Owner]

wow, i actually fee like you have a very strong friendship, i could never do that with opposite sex, that's really impressive i whish i had a friend that close haha and yeah girls get hard nipples for no reason too, when doing sport, while taking a shower, when cold etc so i guess it's the same for u guys... can i ask you something too... how you've come to the point you thought hey let's take a shower together :3 ahha X'D

[Opinion Owner]

i mean if someone told me he wants to take a shower with me i'd be like are u serious... i would maybe say why not and try ahhaah is it how it happened?

[Asker]

Well we somewhat spontaneously decided on it. Sometime before we did I used to joke and say I'm taking a shower and ask if she wants to join. Then one day it became a reality. That's not to say we weren't both embarrassed, but it also brought us closer together :)

It was funny and cute to see my friend all shy and stuff and we also had some silly moments like the water turning ice cold out of nowhere or when we both got shampoo in our eyes hahah. If you have someone you fully trust and are super close, whether it'd be a guy or girl, I say just go for it and see what they say.

I already love showers but having them with my best friend is 100x better than being all alone.

[Opinion Owner]

that is so awesome i want a shower buddy now ahhaahah ♥ X'D :3

[Mustachekitteh]

Nope. I'm not close to any friend to do that kind of thing. It would be weird.

[BonitaChica]

Ummmm this is very weird, I've showered with my sister before but never my friend lol

[Anonymous]

gifrific.com/.../...ifer-Lawrence-ok-thumbs-up.gif

[adamski24]

yes we do it's only showering with a another person.
I been showering with female friends all the time no big deal

[Dred1614]

I've never used her shower with her, but I wouldn't want to. I've got too much respect for common decency.

[Anonymous]

I probably would, I'm pretty comfortable with my body.

[Anonymous]

Don't you worry about getting a random erection? You don't specifically state that you're gay, but it could be relevant.

[fueledbythc]

Just date each other holy shit.

[Asker]

Why date?

[fueledbythc]

You shower with her? might as well have sex in there too.

Honestly it's weird if you're just friends showering together. Maybe as little kids its cool but at 18 to 24 that's weird

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

What if they have no romantic or psychical attraction to each other? They shouldn't be forced to have sex to be considered "normal".

[fueledbythc]

@ALittleBlondeGirl wtf though isn't that basically having no boundries as friends is basically a boyfriend/girlfrend

[ALittleBlondeGirl]

But, they DO have boundaries. You obviously didn't fully read the OP's statements.

[meatballs21]

It is pretty unusual.

[SakuraCherryBlossoms]

Nope. If I did that we'd be fucking.

[bubbletrouble]

No i don't shower with my mans best friend

[jakeofalltrades]

I only shower with my girlfriend