How do I not give a guy friend the wrong idea about being more then just friends?

[dwright1022]

I just made a new friend this weekend, we met through other mutual friends and we hung out pretty much the entire weekend. One day he hung out with me and my other girlfriend the entire day and we all went out both nights.

Hes really cool and I really enjoy his company and hanging out with him but I'm starting to think he might have some feelings for me that are more than just friends. I making these judgments based on some things he said to me when my other friends weren't around. They weren't bad or anything.

Anyway we have been texting back and forth a lot ever since the weekend and I really enjoy it but I don't want to give him the wrong idea but I'm not going to not respond to his texts because that's rude.

So what can I do to make sure he knows I want to be just friends?

[karlthomas]

Simply put, nip it in the bud early by being straight forward. Tell him the you enjoy hanging out with him and you would like to keep hanging out with him. If he has feelings for you already, then he is likely fooling himself when he tells you ya'll can still hang out as just friends. The whole thing will eventually implode. If he doesn't actually have feelings for you and you just read the signs wrong, then you are only a bit embarrassed and you have saved yourself a major headache later on. Chances are he like you and won't tell you when you ask. If does actually tell you though, just tell him that you are certain you won't change your mind about liking him and that if he still thinks he can be grown up and hang out without being weird then he is either a stronger willed person than most or he will end up hating himself and ruining the friendship in a much bigger way than if he would just have given you space and given himself time to move to someone else. If he gives himself some space from you, you two may be able to come back to being good friends.

But the most difficult part of it all is the age-old issue of unrequited love. If he truly find you attractive(in body and soul), he is likely to always associate those feelings with you. And thus, he is likely always to wonder 'what-if'. Feelings like those are not good to have around a platonic friendship. They are at the very best, going to eventually cause an explosive and erratic argument...and at the very worst, be potentially dangerous for you as the female who did not return his love. The worst case is him hurting you or himself...love makes even the best of us crazy, and unrequited love will drive sane people to the precipice of insanity.

True story: Guy friend of a gal thought the girl liked him. She told him she wasn't into him. They split ways for a few months. Turns out, she was secretly dating his best friend.

Who does the guy take it out on? His best friend who knew he had feelings for the girl, or the innocent girl who told him they were just friends and unfortunately fell in love with his best friend?

You guessed it...true story...he ended up inviting her over to her house to apologize and get the friendship back on track. Arguments and emotions boiled over. He killed her, freaked out at what he had done, dragged her to the bathroom, and proceeded to chop her up in the bathtub. For two straight days he burned her body parts on the BBQ grill on the balcony of his apartment. Neighbors complained, cops showed up ...TWICE...first time he said he forgot and accidentally left meat on overnight...second time they had a missing persons report and found the blood, a few pieces he had yet to grill and several half-burned pieces still on the grill. Houston Texas 2005 or 2006 if I recall.

Clearly he was unstable to begin with, but seriously, don't let his emotions build up before you step in and squelch the fire...

[JPorter]

Three words: "I am gay."

Kidding...it's too late, though, he's in The Dreaded Friend Zone. Just use that word in reference to him or you two hanging out together and that'll do it