My boyfriends a great guy, really nice, and I love it when he subtly shows me that he loves me very much. The only problem is, his friends are pretty much around ALL the time. They're OK guys, most of them are single, and I get along with most of them but they're just around way too much. I'm my boyfriends first serious girlfriend. We've been going out now for almost a year, but before we met, his place was the "hang out" place where all his buddies went to drink, play video games or when they're just bored. I guess they still think it is. They don't realize he got a girlfriend now and they show up all the time! I didn't care so much at first, because when we started dating he use to kick them out to spend alone time with me, without me having to ask. We only see each other during the weekends and holidays. So its rather frustrating to have his friends over during our precious weekend together.
Don't get me wrong, I get along well with his friends and enjoy their company. But I still want to spend some private time with my boyfriend, just the two of us chilling out.
What frustrates me most is that even if he don't call them, they'll call every weekend to hang out. Sometimes they'll just show up without calling! If we go out (which is NOT often at all) they'll text or call him to ask him where he is.
I have to admit he'll tell them not to come up if I ASK to spend the day alone. But he don't get it, I can tell. I've spoke to him about it and his reply was "we weren't doing anything anyway, so what's wrong with having them around". And the way he tells them makes me seem like I don't like them anymore or I'm the bad guy. I know he needs his guy time, that's fine by me. I don't care if his friends come up and drink with him one week day, BUT EVERY WEEKEND (breakfast lunch and dinner)! It drives me crazy! And they'll stay for hours or until we go to bed! (sometimes they even sleep over!)
I try to go to my friends for spend the weekend myself, so we can spend sometime apart and to give him some friend time, but it's never enough. I could spend time with my friends but I much rather spend time with him.
I tried talking to him, and he says he get it but I get the feeling that he thinks I just don't like his friends anymore, which is not true! I don't know what to do. I love him very much and I don't want to break up with him for something like this. I hate the frustration I go through, and I don't wanna seem like a controlling girlfriend to his friends. I have no idea what to do anymore :(
Don't get me wrong, I get along well with his friends and enjoy their company. But I still want to spend some private time with my boyfriend, just the two of us chilling out.
What frustrates me most is that even if he don't call them, they'll call every weekend to hang out. Sometimes they'll just show up without calling! If we go out (which is NOT often at all) they'll text or call him to ask him where he is.
I have to admit he'll tell them not to come up if I ASK to spend the day alone. But he don't get it, I can tell. I've spoke to him about it and his reply was "we weren't doing anything anyway, so what's wrong with having them around". And the way he tells them makes me seem like I don't like them anymore or I'm the bad guy. I know he needs his guy time, that's fine by me. I don't care if his friends come up and drink with him one week day, BUT EVERY WEEKEND (breakfast lunch and dinner)! It drives me crazy! And they'll stay for hours or until we go to bed! (sometimes they even sleep over!)
I try to go to my friends for spend the weekend myself, so we can spend sometime apart and to give him some friend time, but it's never enough. I could spend time with my friends but I much rather spend time with him.
I tried talking to him, and he says he get it but I get the feeling that he thinks I just don't like his friends anymore, which is not true! I don't know what to do. I love him very much and I don't want to break up with him for something like this. I hate the frustration I go through, and I don't wanna seem like a controlling girlfriend to his friends. I have no idea what to do anymore :(
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Dear Quadrophonic84,
Thanks for your answer...it really is food for thought, for me at least...i've decided to bring it up again, of course in a non-confrontational way...and I think I'm seeing abit of changes in things... just keeping my fingers crossed its gonna be better from now on... once again, thanks.
Thanks for your answer...it really is food for thought, for me at least...i've decided to bring it up again, of course in a non-confrontational way...and I think I'm seeing abit of changes in things... just keeping my fingers crossed its gonna be better from now on... once again, thanks.
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