I feel like my boyfriend doesn't want me around his friends and I don't know why?

[Anonymous]

I need some help from anyone whos willing ! My boyfriend & I have been dating for 3 months.. We spend a lot of time together ,we spend weekends together & always have fun . Its very rare that we fight. Anyways I have a problem with him that I always end up letting go & not talking to him about. I'm not the type of girlfriend who wants him all to myself . I understand that we both need time apart & that we need time with our friends. However when he goes to social get togethers with his friends he never invites me! It's not that its a guys only type thing . I can't figure out what it is. I know his friends like me because I know some of them in person.i had a kind of relationship with one of them too but I don't think my boyfriend knows about it so I don't think that this is the problem. His friends usually tell him to bring me along.but he didnt.he wants to come with me when I go out with my friends . but I can't understand why he don't want me to hang out with his.I've met his family and it was really nice so I don't know what the problem is with his friends. he says he is in love with me,but why is he not wanting to show me off to his friends ?some of them I think they don t even know that his girlfriend is me .

[ElijahCynicism]

Uh... Assuming he's an over-all basically-good type, I'd say it's possible he knows his friends better than you, if you get me? I mean, say if I practiced monogamy, and I was friends with a big fat LECHER. Which I... Am, actually (in my circle of friends we refer to sexual activity as 'leching' if you can dig on the implications of that, LOL). Anyway, imagine if I was your boyfriend, and I had a friend I knew was a big lecher, I'm talking this guys a regular Colonel Francis Charteris. And he keeps saying, 'Hey, Hey, 'Lijah, 'Lijah, innaduce me to that luvlee girlfrehn yah got der will yah? Yeh, yeh, dah be reaaaaal nice a yuh ol' pal, ol' ol' buddy ol' paaal'.

I would be DISINCLINED to introduce you to that guy. Now, if it were ME, I'd tell you 'Listen, I ain't comfortable introducing you to this charlatan, I don't really want you to meet this guy yet, not yet.' and you could whistle me with sweet laurel lullabies like 'Ooh I don't want anyone but youuuu~' but that ain't the deal here, because I'm like, well, I'm a regular Colonel Francis Charteris. I got no shame in me, I got no class to me. Most guys, they got a greasy pole to climb, they got insecurities, they got macho image and subconscious internal reckoning to be strong and FIRM, BLACK AND STRONG. Anyway... He ain't gonna say that. He's just gonna not introduce you to this lecherous a**hole and not say a thing about it until the times right.

So, if his friends are all rakes, lechers, or hell, something else, I dunno, junkies, spiks, felons, SQUARES, hipsters! I don't know. Either they're a danger to you, his security or how you see him. Whatever it is he doesn't want his new girl who he digs around them, and it's working so far. So if it worries you all you got to say is 'Babe why you not be introducing me to your pals? Comes on real disheartening like I don't get what's wrong.' He'll give you an honest answer, because he probably won't have qualms telling you what the problem is, albeit perhaps slightly diluted or exaggerated as humans do. And I suggest you do that, too, because you're never going to take my word for it, y'dig?

[ElijahCynicism]

Thankyou for Best Answer!

[Zuliar94]

I was in search for something similar to this but this cleared a lot and it made my mood a lot better in the process. Best response I've read 😂

[taylormade3]

This sounds like my girlfriend. Granted, we do a lot together and we do hang out with each others' friends, but there are definitely times when she doesn't want to bring me around her friends and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me.

For example, her program here at our university is very small and she claims they are a "very close group of people" and they don't usually hang out with people outside of their program. So when she goes to hang out with them, I'm never invited. It doesn't bother me that much though because I will admit, since we have been dating she doesn't hang out with them all that much. (Maybe once every two weeks or so)

Also, she likes to hang out with her guy friends without me there. This is definitely not an easy thing for a guy to deal with as it goes against our human nature, but I bring myself to understand it for 2 reasons: a) we are in greek life and they are in a different fraternity (aka a different social clique so we don't really get along) and b) I completely and truly trust her and know her true motives for wanting to hang out with these guys and it's just as friends.

However, I do often wish, especially the longer we date, that she will allow us to start sharing friends more. I mean after all, we are pretty serious and look to continue on our relationship after college...however, I know deep down the issue is she doesn't want to lose her independence, which really isn't a bad thing at all. You need to keep your identity in a relationship and respect each other for that, although it can be hard, especially when your feelings are very strong as mine are for my girlfriend.

Hope this helps with some insight.

[Asker]

yea you help a lot thxs u! I understand many thinks now .ur story was very helpful for me ..i will use your advises !u seem to be a very good and understanding boyfriend well done! :)

[Anonymous]

well even I do the same thing... its every guys feel he doesn't want to show you to other ppl... means his frnds are not good with ladies like if they see you they might start talking about you bla bla so no guys do this...not only your boy frnd..

[Asker]

so it is kind of normal? thaxs u!

[SheWulfe]

He probably doesn’t realize he needs to specifically invite you lol
And also probably expects you to just go along without needing to be invited