How do I get over everyone calling my sister beautiful and not giving me a second glance?

I am not writing this to feel sorry for myself of for anyone else to feel sorry for me. But I have dealt with this issue for years and as I get older it affects me more, so I am turning to this site for help. I have an older sister who is 9 years older than me. My whole life growing up it has always been, Oh Amy you are so beautiful. Oh Anna your sister is gorgeous. Anna your sister is so hot. But what do people say about me? Anna you have gotten so tall. Anna great job on that test. Congratulations on your great report card. When I was younger it never really bothered me. But now as I am older, and hearing it more often it really takes a beating to my self esteem. I know I am not ugly. But it hurts when every guy in your grade tells you how hot and beautiful your sister is, and how they all have crushes on her. It also hurts when you stand beside her and every guy that passes by drools over her. I wish for once someone would call me beautiful, or drool over me. Even though m sister lives a long way away from me,I still hear how beautiful she is. Whenever I look in the mirror and start to think, "hey I am kind of pretty" I always hear someone say how beautiful my sister is and it ruins it. I don't have low self esteem, but in a way I do about my looks. The only person who has never called my sister hot or beautiful or who never had a crush on her is the guy I like. He called me good looking and when they were talking about how hot my sister was he said I looked just like her. And If I were to put a picture of my sister and then a picture of me, I know the reaction of everyone here and that's too depressing. So I just need help getting over this. How do I feel better about how I look? How can I get over everyone saying how beautiful my sister is, and how can I block it out? Sorry that was long and boring. Thanks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not sure there is some magic formula for this, sorry to say. I remember when I was in high school I had a similar problem. It wasn't quite as incessant as it seems to be with you, but all the guys were really into my sister and nobody was really into me. Or at least that's what I thought. My sister is actually 2 years younger but we were only 1 year apart in school so we were around a lot of the same people all the time. It would always depress me too, because if we were out together the guys would drool over her. If guys honked and yelled as they passed by I knew they were doing that at her and not at me. It took a VERY long time for me to start to see myself differently.

    Some of it came about by me being more proactive in MAKING myself look better. All that gave me a lot more confidence in myself. I also tried to quit comparing myself to her so much. Who cares if I wasn't AS pretty as her, I needed to focus on working with what I had and being as pretty as I could be.

    Once I got more confident I realized something. She may have been the "hotter" one but when it came to personality not that many people really liked her. I have more of a "total package" thing going on. Plus I would be willing to bet there is something about herself that makes her feel inadequate to you or something about you that she is jealous of. You mentioned your report card, maybe you are smarter than her? I know that's not something people see when they look at you but believe me. it IS something that people eventually appreciate. Maybe not quite as much at your age since you are under 18, but for sure once you are older.

    The bottom line is, someone who is pretty is GREAT for getting attention but if they lack the personality they will never keep the attention. I'm not saying your sister lacks personality because I don't know her. But what I am saying is that other than for a fling or a "trophy girl" most people would take personality, brains, humor, etc. over just being "hot" any day. At least for the long term. Just work on making the most of what you have!

    • Honestly, my sister is a bit self centered, and she ah the attitude, "i Know I am beautiful" that is her personality flaw and she has lost a lot of boyfriends because she is too clingy. So I guess I would rather be not as pretty and have a fun personality (which like you I do ((not being vein))) than being beautiful and being clingy and self centered. Thanks for your answer.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Your young, trust me your sister is in her prime, in 9 years your sister will be writing the same question. Relax and enjoy your youth and enjoy the fact you will be younger then her forever.


What Girls Said 4

  • Just have confidence in yourself who cares what anyone thinks about your sister develop your own original sense of style try a makeover something new that will get people to notice you it doesn't matter what people think about her if you believe your beautiful than you are confidence shines out so ignore their comments and just be yourself. Just ignore them and be the original you try something new with your clothes your hair something that really gives off that wow factor.

  • That's not at all long and boring. I can totally understand the problem that you've been facing. I rather have 2 elder sisters one is 16 years elder to me and the other is just 3 years elder to me. It always hurt when people compliment them at weddings and functions and nobody pays any attention to me. I never got complimented the way you never were. I felt the same pain every time when people complemented me for performing well in studies and work and nobody complementing me ever. I've gone through the same hell as you and therefore we're both in sync.

    And I suppose one can only give a solution to something when one has gone through the same pain. I can put myself in your shoes because I've lived with it throughout my life and gone through same embarrassment always.

    The way I always dealt with it was that god gives different talents to everyone. Though he gave beauty to my sis, he gave me the brain and the power to do something well in life. I'm sure you must be unique and pretty in your own way. Take it this way your sister isn't as talented as you are I'm sure. Never compare yourself with her and learn to ignore. I automatically start ignoring when anyone starts praising her for her beauty and instead I myself start complementing her for the same too. It feels better trust me.

    While I was going through the article I thought I'd written it or some one had written for me. Even I'm with a guy who calls me pretty rather than calling my sister pretty. He finds her average looking and loves my simplicity. So what If we're not as pretty as our sisters, I'm sure we're much much more talented people than our sisters. So what If we can't wear as much as make up like them, we're unique and beautiful in a simple manner.

    I hope you'll feel better because even I am feeling better after speaking my mind out.

  • I know how you feel. Everybody says that to me. My friends and I were on google we searched up myolder sisters insta account. And they were all oh she's so prettier than you. It does upset me but I just try to brush it off.

  • I totally know how you feel. My sister is super pretty and all my life, all my guy friends would tell me how they'd love to f*** my sister. I have the personality and she got way better looks, but she is a psycho stripper and her life is pretty f***ed up, so the jokes on her.

    Beauty will fade.

    I've just found other ways to outshine her.

    I'm funnier and smarter and people will notice that. I try not to spend time around people that judge others by their looks. My sister has made her life revolve around her looks, so when those go in about 4 or 5 years, she will be nothing. She has shit for personality, she won't have looks and she's as dumb as a box of rocks.

    In the long run, I know I'll win. lolol

    • I super like you answer :)

    • You realize that you sound pretty fucking psycho, right? Who the fuck rejoices in a loved one's misery and celebrates their downfall just because they're prettier than you? You're a really fucking disturbing person, and you need to know that. For the love of God, go get yourself some help before you kill someone. This is just disgusting.