I am not writing this to feel sorry for myself of for anyone else to feel sorry for me. But I have dealt with this issue for years and as I get older it affects me more, so I am turning to this site for help. I have an older sister who is 9 years older than me. My whole life growing up it has always been, Oh Amy you are so beautiful. Oh Anna your sister is gorgeous. Anna your sister is so hot. But what do people say about me? Anna you have gotten so tall. Anna great job on that test. Congratulations on your great report card. When I was younger it never really bothered me. But now as I am older, and hearing it more often it really takes a beating to my self esteem. I know I am not ugly. But it hurts when every guy in your grade tells you how hot and beautiful your sister is, and how they all have crushes on her. It also hurts when you stand beside her and every guy that passes by drools over her. I wish for once someone would call me beautiful, or drool over me. Even though m sister lives a long way away from me,I still hear how beautiful she is. Whenever I look in the mirror and start to think, "hey I am kind of pretty" I always hear someone say how beautiful my sister is and it ruins it. I don't have low self esteem, but in a way I do about my looks. The only person who has never called my sister hot or beautiful or who never had a crush on her is the guy I like. He called me good looking and when they were talking about how hot my sister was he said I looked just like her. And If I were to put a picture of my sister and then a picture of me, I know the reaction of everyone here and that's too depressing. So I just need help getting over this. How do I feel better about how I look? How can I get over everyone saying how beautiful my sister is, and how can I block it out? Sorry that was long and boring. Thanks.
Most Helpful Girl
I'm not sure there is some magic formula for this, sorry to say. I remember when I was in high school I had a similar problem. It wasn't quite as incessant as it seems to be with you, but all the guys were really into my sister and nobody was really into me. Or at least that's what I thought. My sister is actually 2 years younger but we were only 1 year apart in school so we were around a lot of the same people all the time. It would always depress me too, because if we were out together the guys would drool over her. If guys honked and yelled as they passed by I knew they were doing that at her and not at me. It took a VERY long time for me to start to see myself differently.
Some of it came about by me being more proactive in MAKING myself look better. All that gave me a lot more confidence in myself. I also tried to quit comparing myself to her so much. Who cares if I wasn't AS pretty as her, I needed to focus on working with what I had and being as pretty as I could be.
Once I got more confident I realized something. She may have been the "hotter" one but when it came to personality not that many people really liked her. I have more of a "total package" thing going on. Plus I would be willing to bet there is something about herself that makes her feel inadequate to you or something about you that she is jealous of. You mentioned your report card, maybe you are smarter than her? I know that's not something people see when they look at you but believe me. it IS something that people eventually appreciate. Maybe not quite as much at your age since you are under 18, but for sure once you are older.
The bottom line is, someone who is pretty is GREAT for getting attention but if they lack the personality they will never keep the attention. I'm not saying your sister lacks personality because I don't know her. But what I am saying is that other than for a fling or a "trophy girl" most people would take personality, brains, humor, etc. over just being "hot" any day. At least for the long term. Just work on making the most of what you have!0