Why are girls so obsessed with being thin?

Its just bizzare. So many girls wanting to be fashion model thin when that is clearly the opposite of what most men are into- compare the models you see in magazines aimed at men to those in fashion magazines...much more womenly.

True women don't do everything with their looks to try and attract men (hence the shoe thing, conservative Muslim women often being into beauty stuff, etc...) and a lot of it is for themselves but...its just crazy nonetheless.

Yeah. I'm saying nothing new here, but still, the question stands


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I was overweight, people treated me one of two ways - either they would ignore me, or bully me. There was no in-between. I was constantly tortured, by men, women, family, strangers in stores, etc. When I would express the desire to start dating, my mom would immediately say "Well, get on the program, lose that weight and you can." Sometimes, she'd call me "atrocious" and tell me I was disgusting and that's why I didn't have any friends. Guys at school would ask me out, and when I'd say yes, they'd start laughing with their friends saying things like "Who would want a fat cow like you? Ha ha!" I was taught (and brainwashed) from day one to think that people would never give a person that wasn't skinny the time of day, more less love them. I was taught if I wanted to be treated like a person, I'd have to be skinny.

    After I lost the weight, I finally started dating. Guys would ask why I had stretch marks and tell me how gross it was. They'd ask why I didn't have a flat stomach and why my boobs weren't as perky. One used to show me pictures of his ex-girlfriends and say "That's what I usually go for. You're special, because your personality makes up for it." Some guys wanted to know my jean size on the first date, and asked if I wore girdles or push up bras. One guy I dated made me fix a separate meal one time because he didn't want me eating the fattening stuff and gaining weight. Needless to say, none of those relationships lasted long, but it still hurt, especially after all the work I'd done to make myself appealing to men, I still wasn't good enough.

    There is an insane amount of pressure coming from everywhere when it comes to how much a woman weighs. We are not born obsessed with it, we are taught that we are nothing if we aren't skinny. It's sick!

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    • I'm so sorry you went through all of this. That behavior from your mom and peers is absolutely sick. Please try to forgive them all. You are worthy and you are beautiful. Forget societies standards. You're beautiful because you were made in God's image and honey believe me, He ain't ugly. I see him in everyday things like nature. He's extremely beautiful. Your beauty is not opinion based, it's a reality so always embrace how awesome, wonderful, special, important, intelligent and amazing you are!!! :)

What Girls Said 29

  • Because guys like curves, but they have to be the 'right' curves. Heavens forbid you carry weight anywhere other than a perfect rack or great ass. Smooth skin is hot, but acne, cellulite, and other human imperfections are 'gross' and signs that a woman is either 'fat' or 'eats crap', even though it's perfect natural in women of healthy weight. Because it's great if you've got curves, but they needs to be taut and toned in ways not everyone's body type allows.

    And if you've been an exceptionally large girl who lost weight? Well, there's a good chance you're still thought of as fat and ugly because you have stretchmarks over large portions of your body, you have loose skin that won't return to it's normal elasticity for years, if ever. Just because you're now healthy and have overcome whatever medical or mental issues that caused your weight gain in the first place, doesn't mean you'll ever be thought of as more than 'Average'.

    Women who meet the media ideal of 'attractive' often receive better treatment and opportunities, just like men who meet the media ideal. It's scientifically proven. In many cultures, sexuality and women's physical perfections are presented to children from a very, very young age and causes destructive self-esteem issues in young people, male and female alike.

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  • A lot of girls don't want to be "fashion model" thin. Those models are skyscraper high and weigh less than a hundred pounds. In real life, they sometimes look creepy and sick (in absolute no offensive to any models out there).

    Most girls, myself included, want to be, perhaps, "actress thin" or maybe "dancer thin." We want toned, fit bodies. Toned thighs, arms, and buttocks, with a flat stomach, and the appropriate curves. I'm 5'4", 120 lbs, and have 34"-25"-36" measurements, and while I'm pretty happy with the way that sounds on paper, when I look in the mirror, there are certain places I see room for improvement. The way a guy might look at himself and think he needs more chiseled abs or beefier arms. When I look at myself and wish I had a flat stomach, it's because I want to look awesome in a bikini or a cropped top.

    A lot of this need to look hot comes from ourselves. We simply want to look good. Some of it also comes from a desire to impress the opposite sex (or the same sex if she's gay). Other parts come from the fact that larger people are higher criticized. It's become a common mistake in America to immediately excuse obesity with the gentle words "beauty is on the inside" or "love yourself no matter what." This kind of thinking had made America's general population believe being overweight should have no social consequences (though it still does) while ignoring the fact that it has many health consequences regardless. But in reality, many people (especially young people) look down on obesity, and even more so, look down on flaunted obesity.

    I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend last night, for instance, and a girl who knew some of the employees came in wearing a cute cropped top, sporting a really hot naval piercing. Except the girl was maybe my height, and probably 150+ lbs. It was really unappealing, and my boyfriend wouldn't stop complaining about how gross she looked. However, if she'd looked like a Hooters girl, my boyfriend probably would have been oogling, and to be honest, I probably would have been too (in green, jealous envy). This isn't judgmental or mean; it's biology. We're going to be attracted to what looks nice, and sweaty rolls of fat isn't it.

    Girls don't want to be the person everyone looks at in disgust when she dresses the way she wants. She wants to be the girl guys want and the girl girls want to look like.

    The reason why varies from person to person. For me, I'd really like to do it for myself because that's how I want to look. I know my boyfriend loves me for who I am and has told me I don't need to change a bit. But I still want to. For me. I think it'd be nice to be able to just strut my stuff and be that person everyone else stares at (in a good way). And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You just want to stand out. It's why some people get tattoos or piercings, or dye their hair crazy colors, or wear really funky clothes.

    You just want to look good.

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  • being pretty is so important to the majority of women. and for good reason. people want to feel valued and wanted and people will listen to you and be nice to you and be your friend if you're pretty. ugly girls and pretty girls get treated very differently. not just by guys but by everyone. even their parents. I've heard lots of moms trying to push my friends on diets, and my dads lady friends try to get me to join thier diet(dont have a mother to put me on a diet). its a ton of pressure. I'm still a "real woman". I have a vagina and feminin features, and was luckily blessed with some other good qualities, but like a lot of other real women, I worry about the way I look. I went through some chubby years, and the way I was treated after I lost the wieght was almost magical. girls aren't born obsessed with weight, they are taught to be that way. it is bizzare. not that women are insecure, but that people are pushing them to be that way.

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    • Wow I have a lot of respect for girls, they get a lot

    • They really do. And I'm not some crazy feminist or anything...I'm quite the opposite. You just can't deny that girls weren't basically forced to be as crazy as they are sometimes

    • I can relate. I despise feminism. I don't want to be treated like a man. I'm a woman. Feminists hand over license to men to be total jerks to women. That's why some people believe chivalry is dead. I want doors held open for me and I want to be helped with heavy objects. Feminism needs to end like yesterday. It's not helping female society, it's HURTING us and men's perception of us as women.

  • You say "that is clearly the opposite of what most men are into"

    When I see guys pointing "hotties" and such, quite often they are really thin with big breasts (even if they are only big cause of the size of the rest of them)

    and girls can be too fat way quicker then they can be too thin.

    I honestly feel like I can never be too thin..

    But I can be too fat.

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  • Guys always talk about how they won't date "fatties." Not all girls are gifted in the melon department. So the only option to be attractive is to be stick thin.

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    • true:( I feel like the only way I can look good as an a-cup is to be very skinny...

    • I'm a B-cup and I feel the same. Girls with big boobs can get away with extra fat but when you don't have much there, there's a lot more pressure to be thin.

  • Women don't want to be fashion model thin, they want to be VS model thin. Aside from this site and the random chubby chaser, most guys would kill to have a girlfriend who looks like a VS model

    What guys say to make girls feel better isn't what they go for.

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  • being thin is awesome. I'm agile and energetic, I can fit into small spaces run long distances easily ,swim fast, climb trees like a monkey. overall and move around very efficiently. with a lot of stamina. it requires a lot foe me to have to stop to rest, or eat. its about training your body to get energy from action, not just from consumption.. metabolism is complex, and I find people rely way too much on food in times when its not necessary. its better to take a break once in a while and hit the air and get active and focused. its a lot more economical as well... eat what you need. nothing more. you save resources and money. most people even so-called healthy weights, eat more than they need, and could improve their health by restraining themselves a bit and put more energy into physically demanding activities. imo.

    i'd be really completely disoriented ad extremely frustrated if I was large. All the things I love to do / am obligated to do would be cumbersome and my quality of life would plummet-as would my level of productivity..

    more often than not guys think I'm too thin. this is not my concern and I could care less. I love myself. I love my body. I love being strong and active, and light. I respect who I am, and I'm not interested in changing myself to appeal to someones hormones.

    i would -no contest - prefer to remain single for ever. rather than to alter my body/ lifestyle/ schedule/ work ethics, just to attract some guy.

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  • Because of society perception about attractiveness.Guys claim they want curvy and healthy women but at the same time drool over the skinny and thin models.So its a mix signals here.Girls don't know which one they need to follow.I guess its very rare for the magazines to show up curvy women than the skinny one.Look at front of every magazines.

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    • exactly, look at the magazines, only the occasional thin girl, its mostly curvy girls.

  • It's just the media... again. They make girls think girls that they aren't attractive. Also we would feel better if we were thinner. I mean, wouldn't you feel better if you thinner, were more muscular, etc.? But... yeah... it's just the cursed media's brainwashing powers.

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  • Girls just feel insecure...I'm not but I still feel insecure... most girls just feel insecure and want to be able to do something so they focus on their body...

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  • Ummm I think it is the media but I don't care what anyone thinks I am happy with my body and if I wanted to lose weight it will be for me and no one else.

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  • I for one am skinny as hell. I hate it. I'm 90 pounds and 20 years old. I have a hourglass figure that I would kill to get rid of. I want to gain weight. My weight is a big problem for me. I have low self esteem because I am to skinny and got made fun of a lot in school because of him. So I am a women that does not want to be thin. Well not this thin. My idea weight is 115

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  • the only reason I'm obsess with my weight is because of my family. I blame it all on them. even to this day they'd tell me "you fat". I hate hearing it and the sad thing is I rather run and watch what I eat instead of hearing them say "you fat". and I'm really not big.

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  • I weigh 110 lbs. I love it. I don't see any downsides to being small. I don't care what guys think of it. Guys seem to be just fine with my weight. I'm naturally thin. 110 lbs is healthy for me.

    Healthy weight doesn't always equal attractive. Just because you have meat on your bones doesn't mean that it's proportioned in an attractive way.

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  • They care what other people think about them. Lots of men are obsessed with women being thin even when they themselves are extremely overweight. It's just one of those unfair double standards of life. It's really all linked to men's opinion of them. It's quite unfair. People should be healthy. You don't need to be a size double zero to matter. Just take care of your health.

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  • women want to be thin with curves. The media puts such an emphasis on the "ideal woman" and when you aren't that you strive to be that. I want to be slim but still keep my curves

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  • Not all girls...they were just born that way...no matter what or how much they eat,they just don't gain weight.

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  • conservative Muslim women often being into beauty stuff

    what does that even mean?

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  • For me I want to be able to wear whatever I want and look good/feel confident in it. I'm 5'6 and 130 pounds, so I'm not big or anything, but like any other average girl, it sucks when you see cute clothes in stores and you know it's not going to look half as good on you as on the mannequin.

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  • Because we're objectified before we even become teenages, everything is about how she looks, how skinny she is etc.

    Society is the reason why girls as young as 10-11 are starving themselves to be thin, because we're told that if you aren't thin then you are ugly.

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  • because its not always for guys, its nice to be able to wear what you want, feel fit and healthy, etc. I am a runner and kept help being skinny, I don't do this every day to look good for guys, If I wanted to be skinny for guys I would just starve, that is the easy way.

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  • candice swanepoel is what guys want and what girls want to be. she's a fashion model yet still curvasicous

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  • Because the media/fashion industry brainwashes girls into thinking that's the norm and anything else is unattractive.

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  • No clue! To be honest though, I see many girls who do need to lose weight. Fat in many cases simply just isn't as attractive and many times it can make someone look plain sloppy.

    You also have no right or place to tell us females what a "true woman" is. You don't know what the hell a true woman is; you've never been a woman a day in your life and you don't know what trials and tribulations we go through just because we have a vagina. So take your idea of a "True woman" and shove it up your a**.

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    • what are you talking about? you're the only one to have mentioned 'true woman' here.

      And you think women have it so hard? You've never been a man to have any place to comment.

    • lol, I didn't say anytihng about women having it so hard; stop being delusional. You sound like a f***ing weirdo.

  • Easier said then done

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  • The media is part of it. For me it is also that my clothes don't look nice with a big fat belly and small boobs. The shirt is supposed to fill out at the chest, not at the waist... I don't find that it looks good when I'm fat since clothes don't hang well on my body. And since my waist won't get thin (And into proportion with my small chest) without the rest of me getting skinny I have no choice but to be thin...

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  • Our culture has defined women's value as residing in our appearances only. It's hard to describe this to someone who doesn't already see it, but just think about the kind of messages the media is sending when everyone attractive is happy and everyone ugly is miserable and needs to buy tons of products to change that.

    Also, the models in magazines aimed at men are STILL airbrushed and unrealistic...

    There are also some more specific psychological issues involved, like the desire to become small, to take up less space, because that's "feminine."

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  • Idk I'm black.the only thing I want to be thin is my waist. I don't find the super skinny look attractive, but to each their own.

    However, I've noticed that many of the models white people consider sexy are very thin. Yes, there is a difference between a high runway model and a Victoria secret model, but the vs models in my catalog are really skinny too.they aren't curvy. What some people call curvy is just a very thin woman with natural looking implants

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    • Curves doesn't imply excess weight or a bad combo of muscle and fat. A slim hourglass shape is still curvy just as a slim pear shape is still curvy. Most VS models are slim pear shapes and curvy

    • To me they aren't curvy. I think I see more apple shapes in the vs catalog than I do hourglasses.

  • Even the models in magazines that aim at men are very thin and it's hard to attain. Most women don't look like that, and since we know men are visual and obsessed with looks, we try to look like that. Plus, guys brag about dating models, and a lot of times only want a girlfriend that will impress their friends. The peer pressure says that the thinner the girl, the higher status she is to his friends. Try being the guy that brings the slightly overweight girl home and watch how his friends react. Men are absolutely brutal to overweight women. They always make comments about fat girl on TV or out in public, but never say anything about the guys. It's obvious the pressure is on women.

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    • A lot of women tend not to be nice to fat guys either. Or guys with other flaws.

      But anyway. There's a lonnnnng way between being so fat a guy would be ashamed to be with a girl (definitely there is such a thing as too fat) and being stick thin. Its the middle ground between skinny and fat that men want yet women aim for skinny.

What Guys Said 8

  • Here's the truth nobody will admit...

    Women aspire to be thin because they want to attract confident douche bags. Think about it. Those shredded douche bag player types are the only guys talking about t*ts/racks and hating on any girl with an extra 5 pounds on her. Women feel that if they are appealing to the shredded douche bag player types, there is no higher honor.

    The typical guy's opinion doesn't mean anything. We are easy to please. That's not challenging enough. Yes, women love a challenge. There's nothing more challenging than reaping the seed of men with superior genetics. Shredded douche bag player types are the modern equivalent of tribal leaders. They lead the hunt and bed with the finest women.

    So every time a woman expresses insecurity over her image and ignores your opinions, you should be concerned. She doesn't care about your approval. You're small time. She's eyeing the village chief. That's why I never buy the argument that most men are shallow hence why girls have to be skinny. Most men love women as they are, with meat on their bones (or the naturally petite ectomorphs).

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    • so true i am sorry but those players, jerks , bad boys are real assholes ! i met one online but now i am happy to leave him he was a real dog , son of a bitch , he wasted 6 months of my life played with my emotions, feelings made fun of my life i cared for him my love for him was unconditional but... assholes remain assholes i even lost 12 kgs to appease him but of no use. he was pig who loved eating shit . disrespecting women objectifying them sheesh

  • Some women overdo and become too skinny. Looking like a zombie is not attractive at all. Being a little overweight is far more attractive than that. I would just shoot for trying be average weight, nothing crazy. Lindsey Lohan, for example, is too skinny and imo, unattractive . She would be attractive if she gained a few more pounds.

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  • link

    That's why. These women are appear to be beautiful, glamorous, thin, and clearly having a wonderful time.

    Show me a woman who WOULDN'T want to be like that.

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    • I think they are hot... I don't think they are toooo thin... However their breasts are nothing but skin with a good push up bra so they have no boobs :D.

    • Look at their arms and legs, then. That clearly defines whether they're skinny or not - which they are. I think their arms are about half as thick as mine, and I'm definitely not fat myself.

    • They're definitely too skinny for me, but the point is that they portray an ideal of "desirable", which women then tend to aspire to, or feel inadequate about when they don't measure up.

      VS, and other fashion/beauty-related companies spend billions of dollars yearly to portray this image, which is intentionally unattainable (ads, print and television, digitally altered), so that women will buy into the "ideal" and spend money hoping to attain it.

  • They are over compensating.

    Most women are fat and it adversely affects their desirability.

    Most women would be more attractive if they lost weight.

    However, some who are thin don't realize that thinner is not better forever ... its just that being thinner then the u.s. average size 16 is good ...

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  • Let's not knock the benefits of being a thin. Obesity is a problem in American. It leads to diabetes, heart disease, etc. As long as the women isn't anorexic or something, it's healthy to keep you body weight as low as possible while remaining healthy. Runway models are thin and tall, but that's because women's clothing looks best on that body type.

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  • Because one of the biggest industries in the entire world is set to make them feel worthless if they aren't thin.

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  • because being fat is not attractive. BMI of 30+ (Not even drunk I'll tap that, I'd rather died of alcohol poisoning).

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    • The only problem with that is, people seem to say 22-27 is fat, and only 20 is acceptable.

      Even though that's clearly not the case. When people nowadays say "fat", they usually mean anything above BMI 23.

  • You answered your question

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