How to "Cold Approach" Women: Scary But Totally Doable

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How to Cold Approach Women, and Men and Why you Should Not do it so Often!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh yes, the cold approach, the dating world equivalent to cold calling in sales. Much like cold calling cold approaching should only be used in very specific situations, detailed below in the "how to approach women section." The cold approach is something that I have experimented with and I have been fairly successful. Here is the process I used for my approach:



How to Approach Somebody you Want to Attract:



Step 1: Realize that the situation is awkward for everybody (even the people sitting around you). Your job as the approacher is to make it less awkward, especially for the women in question.



Step 2: Make the situation less awkward by taking a shower, smelling nicely, dressing your best, and only approaching when you have a reason to approach! Also, only approach people that seem to be in a relaxed mood and don’t have themselves closed off to the world in some way like when someone is listening to music or reading a book, let them be!


How to "Cold Approach" Women: Scary But Totally Doable


Step 3: Ask yourself why you are approaching, these are the two broad acceptable reasons to approach people in generally which you can then turn into flirtation and meeting up again some other time:



The acceptable reasons to approach a women/ man during the day: You share something in common that you can automatically talk about, or she/ he has information that you need and she/he is the easiest one to ask. If you approach her/ him for any other reason the women will probably assume that you are trying to pull one over on them and will automatically be on guard because they don’t feel safe. Not feeling safe is a big turn off and makes the situation very awkward which is what we are trying to avoid.






-Examples of approaching when you have something in common: Commonalities vary widely and depend on the situation but typical reasons include; Evidence pops up that you went to the same school, Evidence pops up that you worked for the same company, Evidence pops up that your a fan of the same sport/ team, Evidence pops up your going to the same bar, Evidence pops up that you could be friends because you hang out on the same social scene, etc....



Make sure that you would approach anybody (not just a pretty women/ a handsome man) if you saw the same evidence pop up. This way you lessen your chances of looking like you are desperate and it makes the situation a lot less awkward. Make sure that you are not searching for this evidence either, if you heard/ saw the evidence pop up in a way that probably could have only been sensed by somebody who was searching for it then don’t approach that person about it because it will be viewed as an invasion of privacy (ex: eves dropping).


How to "Cold Approach" Women: Scary But Totally Doable

-Examples of approaching through need of information: Unfortunately cell phones cut out the need to ask a lot of the questions you could ask but here are a number of examples that still work today; Wanting somebodies opinion on what the best drink/ food at the bar/ restaurant is, Confirming that a bus/ train/ subway car is stopping at a certain stop, Asking general advice about a town because you aren’t familiar with it, etc.... The trick here is to make sure that when you ask the person you don’t seem like you are targeting that person in particular. They person should be able to see that you have a real reason/ need to talk to them otherwise the person will not feel safe, making the situation awkward.



Finally, Step 4: Approach the person once you have realized a legitimate reason/ need to do so. This will start a natural or organic conversation that you are both okay with being a part of!



What you should take away from this!!!!!



As you can tell from the above steps and examples, cold approaching people is something reserved for very specific moments when you have a specific reason to talk to the person. Cold approaching people is generally a waste of time for the both of you unless you have a specific reason which gives both parties cause to believe the conversation won’t be a waste of time and that you are a sane person who will not hurt them. When you do happen to find reason to talk to an attractive stranger, find a legitimate reason to talk to them, and make sure that your appearance and hygiene is on point/ you both seem like you have the same social status because this will make their attraction to you much more likely.



Men, One last point!: For men in particular, understand that a lot of women are on guard from the start because they have had bad run ins with men in the past. See video for extreme example:



Ladies, One last point!: Please understand that men find it flattering when you approach them as well. It is a huge compliment! Although the guy is still random and you have to use common street sense, approaching the guy who isn’t approaching you is raising your chances of finding a guy who isn’t an asshole because men who are really good flirters are generally really good flirters for a reason, they have to distract you from the fact that they are assholes long enough to hook up with you.

How to "Cold Approach" Women: Scary But Totally Doable
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