Best way to approach/flirt with girls who have social anxiety?

[starrynight2]

I'm 25. I just want to know how to make girls who show signs of this more comfortable around me. I don't want to put them on the spot or make them more uncomfortable. Assuming we see each other but haven't spoken before. Any advice?

Updates

+1 y

I'm a good looking guy btw. I feel like just my appearance alone makes girls really shy/uncomfortable.

[throwit]

I can be really anxious around people, but if the person I'm talking to is really loud and happy then that helps open me up. Being around positive energy eases my nerves.
Don't be put off if she doesn't say much at first.
Ask her about herself. I know it sounds shallow, but if I don't know a person I feel awkward when they tell me regular things about them. "Yeah I work at (place)" " oh yeah?cooool.."
Ask about her and then build off of her stories lol
Don't pull her away from her friends at first. They are like a security blanket and I always look back at my friends when I'm being led away 'help!' D: one on one can be awkward if I don't know you.
Drinking definitely loosens me up! Plus I can use the 'I'm too drunk' excuse if I want the convo to end or if the guy is getting too friendly and I'm too uncomfortable (because a few hours of talking doesn't mean I know you/ are comfortable around you)
If you're up for a challenge and talking things slow (at first) I say go for it. If any good looking guy talks to me I'll still be just as awkward though.

[Anonymous]

Well I have social anxiety, so I'd say take it slow, talk to her one on one, start off asking her questions relevant to your situation (like the class you're in or if you're both waiting for the bus or whatever) and then move on to asking her little things about herself. It can always help if you start off doing most of the talking until she gets more comfortable. Then you can try joking with her a little once she seems to be warming up to you, gently teasing her maybe.

The situations that make me uncomfortable are when a guy comes on really strong and starts getting really flirtatious all of a sudden or complimenting my appearance. I also usually assume that he just wants to get in my pants in that case.

Another thing, don't expect her to approach you herself for a good while - so don't get discouraged if she doesn't immediately start coming up to you to chat. You will probably have to put in most of the effort in the first while.

Good luck to you! :)

[starrynight2]

Thanks for your answer. I get that and usually do. The girl I'm referencing this question from ignores nearly all of my situational questions/conversational starters. I don't expect her to approach me. Girls don't approach me.

I wouldn't think you show signs of social anxiety, or maybe this girl has a severe case of it? I could also be completely wrong in reading her. Idk.

[Opinion Owner]

It's possible, I wouldn't consider myself severe since I don't ignore people when they approach me. I guess the only signs of anxiety I show would be not approaching people and keeping to myself most of the time. Does she ignore everyone who approaches her?

[WanderlustJai]

I'm a very shy person myself but it really like it when a boy is open towards me, makes jokes and is smart. Don't act all macho and stuff, it won't help the girl getting out of her shell. Be sensitive, nice, a gentle man. Tell her what you like to do, your hobbies, favourite food etc.. But don't just talk about yourself, ask her questions!

[pukom92]

first try to maybe have a general conversation. don't smother her by looking at her funny and all that cause even if she likes you she will run for her life.

[KhaysunDei]

This is incredibly difficult especially if they're shy. First, be their FRIEND. Do NOT flirt with them or proceed to act like a boyfriend, that makes them very nervous. Do what a friend would do like invite them to hang out with your friends or something. Go to the movies, grab a drink, or have lunch.

[TheNewClassic]

Be interested, just show her that you are interested in her. Ask her questions about her. Make her laugh, for me thats the best when a guy is funny. And try not to be shy yourself cause that would make it more awkward.