FWB-Does he actually care?

[Anonymous]

so I met this guy 4 months ago and we usually get to see each other 1-2 times a week, our work schedules clash badly. we are basically friends with benefits. we hang out late at night all the time because I work nights and he works a lot too , mainly in the daytime and its when we're both available. we have went to lunch one time and hung out before work during they day a few times. he has called me to give him a ride before to pick up his car and gave me his credit card to get gas on my way to work. he trusts me a lot to let me hold on to that credit card right? ...anyway, I am always blunt with him and tell him how I feel about things. such as one time I was starting to feel like a "stranger with benefits" and I contacted him and told him that "fwb" are to be treated more like friends and that friends actually do things together and don't only hang out late at night. and he immediately called me back and left me a v mail apologizing that he made me feel that way and he said he didn't mean to and that he does like me and he wants to see me more and during the day but its been a while and only a small % of that changed. I still feel like its mainly at his convenience...

he texts me more than I text him. he tells me in texts and in person that he misses me and likes me and so on. he's phys and verbally affectionate. he acts like he likes me more than just a booty call but we still seem to stay in pause like this. I told him once in a vmail that I wanted to end things if the feelings were one sided and that I didn't want to get into it further and get hurt if he only wanted sex. this time he didn't mention anything or answer that. but he still treats me the same and sees me as often! he's just acted like he never got that. and I knowwww he has to have gotten it. what does that mean? most guys would have just said f this, I can get another friends with benefits that doesn't get so blunt and opinionated with me. right? why didn't he take that out to stop talking to me and end things easily for him so he wouldn't have to further himself into a somewhat possible relationship with me. he will also be fully divorced in a couple months. I know that is the majority of the reasons why he prob acts like he does and sends me mixed signals.

I just can't tell if he is really a nice guy and likes me or is just feeding me lines to keep me around. he is a very attractive guy and could find a new friends with benefits easily so its not like I'm the only option he has and that's why he didn't break it off. I just can't seem to read him. my bluntness has always scared other fwb's off. but not this one.

please let me know what I should do? should I just end it and not talk to him anymore anyway? he has always been sweet and shown me respect when we're together. so he's not a total jerk, just doesn't seem to make the move to move things forward and I don't know if that's because his divorce isn't fully final for 2 months?...

thanks a lot! I need advice

[Anonymous]

It's FWB , plain and simple. FWB doesn't mean the guy doesn't have any consideration for you. They will still try to act like a decent human being, but in the end if you have a casual sexual deal, that is all you have and these deals rarely ever turn into something else.

Oh, the idea that a cute guy can easily find another sex partner doesn't hold water. Theoretically they can but realistically it's a pain in the ass. So, once a guy finds someone he can have sex with that isn't expecting anything more from them they will stick with it until it doesn't work for them anymore or they are ready to find a girl they want a relationship with (yes, someone else, not you). Finding new FWB is actually a lot of work. Oh, and they will just ignore comments we make about not wanting to get hurt if all they want is sex. They will even ignore comments about how we want a relationship and need to move on. All sorts of stuff, as long as you take their calls when they are horny and put out when they come over, they will pretty much continue to have sex with you. Been there, done that. Move on from this guy and never go back to an FWB deal. Look for a boyfriend instead.

[m3TALchick]

You could treat you like a princess, with respect and be sweet, but if you guys aren't official that means there are no strings or reason why he couldn't talk to other girls the same way he talks to you. If he doesn't want what you want then maybe you should just move on before you get hurt.

[coolbeens]

no, he doesn't care.

if he cared you wouldn't be FWB

and you won't change his mind lol .

You obviously can't handle a FWB situation, because you are mind-f***ing yourself over whether or not he cares, while he is out doing whatever in peace.

[DanielSan]

I find it funny that your looking for a dating relationship out of a FWB situation...You seem to be wanting something EXACTLY OPPOSITE of FWB.

Maybe you ought to reevaluate what you are looking for and look up the term FWB and Dating in the dictionary so your clear on what it is you want.