My boyfriend says he's confused. Should I give him space or move on?

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year but we were friends before that for a few months. We live 3 hours apart, so the relationship has always been a little more challenging than the average relationship.

I have always been honest about the fact that one day I want to get remarried. He only had one serious relationship before me and stated that although marriage had never appealed to him he felt that if the right girl came along he would possibly get married. Now, he has broken up with me because he isn't certain if he will ever want to get married or not. And I guess I have put some pressure because although I told him I didn't need to know that he was ready to marry me, I do need to know if there is the possibility of it one day in order to continue in this long distance relationship.

He says he loves me, misses me terribly, and is miserable without me, but admits he still doesn't know what he wants. He is calling me two or three times a week and wants to see me this weekend. I have started seeing other people and have told him this. I told him that I still want things to work out with us and that I will give him his space. However, I also told him that I'm not going to sit at home and twiddle my thumbs while he does it.

Did I do the right thing? He's confused about wanting me, and I'm confused about how to do the right thing here.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you did the right thing. I'm 28 and understand where you are coming from. No pressure to get married, but if he isn't the marrying type & you want to remarry, then he isn't the guy for you. There are other men out there, many in fact and if you know you want to get married and have children, men who don't want that you shouldn't waste your time on. I know that sounds harsh, but it is honest. We aren't young college girls, we are women looking for life partners and if you don't have honestly in ours relationships, we'll find ourselves 40+ and possibilty missing out on motherhood and other firsts that were once our dreams. I definitely feel like you shouldn't push someone to marry you, but if you don't share the same life goals and values, then you should move on. You've give this guy 3 years, do you want to give it another 3 to find out he is just not the marrying type? Only you can make that decision. Just make sure you're happy with what ever decision you make. Take care.