Girls what do you think if a guy wants to split the check on first date?

[Anonymous]

Girls I always prefer splitting the check (on the first date) with her because I don't know her as well. What do you think?

[vmw2008]

There wouldn't be a second date. **Whoever invites the other on the date should pay.** You invited her on the date because her looks were appealing to you. So she was worth asking. Women don't work like that. She's looking for more than what you look like to make the date worth accepting to her. And by not paying for the date YOU invited her on, you're saying any number of these things: You're cheap, you're not interested, you're not a gentleman, you only plan on having her around for one nighters so paying for her meal is more than she's worth to you, etc.

Call it unfair if you want. But many things in the dating game are unfair. Say a woman sleeps with a guy she met at a bar on the very first night. Maybe it was the first time she's ever done something like that, but to some guys, that translates into a whole lot of things: She's a slut, she gets around, she's not relationship material, she probably does this with all the guys, etc. Women don't think any of those negative things about men doing it, but men certainly do it to women.

Not all men will judge a woman for having sex too fast, just like not all women will judge a guy for splitting the bill. If you're only looking for one night, or one date, that kind of behavior is fine.But lets face it, a majority do judge if they're looking for a relationship. And if a relationship is what a girl wants, most guys wouldn't recommend having sex in the first hour of knowing a guy. And if a relationship is what the guy wants, most women wouldn't recommend not paying for the first date.

Not to mention, splitting the bill is something I do with my girlfriends. When I'm out with my boyfriend, either he pays the whole bill, or I do. None of that splitting crap. I've never ever had a guy ask me out and not pay the whole thing. He would've become, "one of the girls" in my head. It's simply not romantic. Plus, like you said, you hardly know this girl, which means she hardly knows you. With that kind of a first impression, it will surely be your last with her.

[zombiefood]

I know this question is a little old but I'll say something, offer a new point of view.

As a general rule I believe who ever iniciates the date (whoever asks to take the other person out should be responsible for at least most of the bill). That should be an overall standard. But for me personally if I get a chance to pay even just half I'm stealing the bill and paying it all. I hate when people pay for things for me so I always ask to split. Some parts of chivalry are old fashioned and should be moved away from and guys paying for everything is one of them. Ladies aren't dainty flowers who don't work and don't get allowance and sit around waiting for a date anymore. That's why the guys always paid. Now every one works and it's only fair that both pay.

Most chivalry things are either out dated or should be applied to all people. Holding doors, helping carry things, offering someone a spot under your umbrella or a friend a sweatshirt. All that is just common curtsey to me.

Paying for the date, for me is generally assigned to whoever does the asking out. And first dates should be split because it's generally the guy asking out and the girl waiting for him to do so.

Mostly it's a person by person basis, no one should be offended when the question is raised in this day and age every one has a job and everyone can afford to cover their half the bill. If you're getting upset that he's asking you to fork out 20 bucks to cover what you ate then quit school, stay in the kitchen and give him a reason to have the pay all the money.

I'm all for gender equality and this is part of it.

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

There's no such thing as gender equality. Men and women are not equal physically or intellectually. Men are more capable of bearing heavy stress, physically and mentally and therefore superior workers. Women are more capable of easing someone else's stress, and nurturing and caring for someone. Because men are more capable workers, they are paid more. And because it is less work and less stress for them to pay the bill-- the burden should be on the man. Happiness & efficiency over equality.

[zombiefood]

I'm not going to argue with you because no matter what I say you'll hold your sexist views. I'm simply acknowledging your comment and saying I respectfully disagree. Women and men are equal intellectually and are both fully capable of making a wealthy and fine living, and both are equally able to pay for food. With that I'm done. I'm not going to encourage either your outdated ideas or your trolling, whichever it is.

[Living-the-ADvenTURe]

I love how guys and girls each have a different purpose that works together to benefit the other. I love being a girl and I like when a guy can be the man of the relationship. I wouldn't want it to be any different, but I do need to be respected and cherished by the man. He also needs to know that my opinion matters but that has to do with respect. I don't understand why so many woman are offended by genre roles.

[zombiefood]

I'm offended by them because that's not what I want for my life. I don't want to be looked at like some little princess that needs taking care of, who's simply there to comfort my man and nurture him while he works hard and pays all the bills. I want a job, I want to be strong and independent, I want to help pay for the bills, help bring home the bread. I'm not some weakling. I don't need a man to think for me and I don't want to be thought of as some sex symbol or housewife.

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

You don't have to be that way. Gender roles shouldn't be a requirement. It's just a recommendation as a healthy way of living for MOST people. Peanut butter is great and healthy for most people, but not people allergic to peanuts! These roles aren't limits on who you are. They're a generalization. They're a lifestyle that is good for most people not all. But statistically, average woman vs average male, the things I said were true. Individuals may differ from the norm (e.g. you).

[justagirl3150]

On the first date...Most girls think more highly of a man who pays for the entire date. It's not a deal breaker but it certainly earns you more brownie points when you pay for her share.

If a allows me to choose the restaurant, I will offer to pay my share as I have no way of knowing what he can afford and want to be respectful of his budget. If he feels it's appropriate to pay for the entire date himself, then I allow him to do so and express my appreciation. But I wouldn't be offended if he accepted my offer to pay for myself.

If he planned the details of the date, however, then I assume he's planned within his means. I come prepared in the event he asks me to split the check, but I don't offer to do so. I would be less inclined to accept a second date if a guy asked me to pay for a date he planned. If you can't afford the restaurant, then don't offer to take me there, chose something else.

I will offer to split the check from time to time with a guy I've been seeing for a while regardless of who chose the restaurant.

I'm also more than happy to pay for a date I initiate and plan. Keep in mind these tend to be special events, birthdays, promotions, etc. Though there is the occasional just because I love you. Again, this applies to a guy I've been seeing for a while.

I guess I'm a little more traditional, but I think there's still a time and place for a lady to pay for her fair share of the dating expense.

[Elcristoph]

Hello,

what I've done in the past is talk to the girl about dating rules on the first date and jokes about some of the ideas that go along with it. after doing this there's a chance she will sugest splitting the tab with you..

the reason they do this is becouse 1 women like to see themselves as different and independent and also may want to show this off to impress you..

DONT just say "hey lets split the tab"

Good Luck

Chris

[tex151]

As a man it is economical, your not waisting money since you would only be paying for your dinner, however in a woman's eyes that makes you look cheap, and chances are you won't get a second date with her, so bite the bullet and pick up the tab, even if she offers to pay her part.

[Tamikaze]

I don't like it at all. Why does it matter that you don't know her well? A date is all about getting to know her better.

I can pay for my dinner and my date's dinner if I was so inclined. I am not. I like a guy with class and manners and if he suggests going dutch, hey, I will do it but I would be highly unlikely to go on a 2nd date.

Oh, and I don't care if this is old-fashioned and I don't see it as any sort of social indicator of equality or lack thereof. I just know what I like and what I don't. If a guy really likes a girl who goes dutch or pays for him, he should get what he wants too. It would just mean we are not a good match.

[Living-the-ADvenTURe]

Couldn't of said this better myself.

[viva_glow]

If you really end up liking her and having a great date, I'd recommend paying for the both of you, because it will impress her and prove that A) you're not cheap and B) she's worth paying for.

It's not a "requirement" thing to pay, but keep it mind that it's a courteous gesture, and one that always makes a good impression. It's always better to pay on the first date too if you asked her on the date, simply because it's a sort of, "you're paying for the pleasure of her company". And many girls here say, "you wouldn't get a second date" which isn't necessarily true, but as demonstrated, can be.

I always offer to split the bill, but am impressed and feel appreciated when the man will pay.

Just remember, it's not the payment, it's the precedence.

And if it's a crappy first date and you don't like her that much, paying will prove you a dignified gentleman.

If she's a good girl, she won't always make you pay, and/or she'll find ways to make up for it.

[minerva_milano]

Whoever asks pay?

I disagree...

This was an awkward first date to me: I ended inviting the guy because our busy schedule was like, he asked me to call him, and I just sent a txt: hey it's being hard to find time, do you wanna grab a coffee tomorrow morning? he answered me: OK, at 9? and we ended deciding like a coffee and a "chit chat" close to my place, so its clear that I invited him, I was willing to pay my own coffee, but he did, so I'll answer you that DEPENDS... if the guy thinks that I'm not WORTH of a coffee, we won't have a second date, but if we were having lunch or something more "expensive" I think that even if the guy invited you, the girl should "split" the bill.

[Anonymous]

hmmm this is debatable

but the way I see it, and can relate to most girls, is that if the guy asked me out and indicates he likes me so far, he should cover the bill and be a gentleman, this makes a girl feel loved and protected and cared for, she goes home smiling and knows he really likes her and wants to go out with him again

realistically, if the guy did ask her to split the bill, it might be kind of disheartening that she wasn't good enough for you or that you didn't like her enough to pay for her, it pretty much lets everything go on a bad start to be honest with you...leaves an uncomfortable feeling I guess,

BUTTTTTTTTT you have to remember its only the first date, and there will be more dates to come, and as a girl, its our job too to pay for you, makes everything equal...me and my ex used to take turns paying for each other like one date he would pay, next date I would pay, he would buy my movie ticket id buy him dessert...it all evens out

[nomadia]

i think that if you go out with a girl on a first date the guy should pay the bill. never ask a girl to pay on the first date. I think its an insult. but on the second the girl should pay or at least offer to pick up the bill or split it. she shouldn't wait to be asked to do so. but guys come on you don't expect your date to split every bill and that goes for the girls too.

[Bella561]

i personally dnt let guys pay for me that offends some guys but I jhate when I feel has though I owe you somthing and you paying for me would make me feel that way so ye si prefer spliting the check/ paying for myself

but I also lknow a lot of girls that think the exact opposite so it all depends on the person

[Living-the-ADvenTURe]

I always offer to pay for myself, but it's impressive if the guy pays for you anyway on the first date. If I knew that he was tight on money for some reason, I wouldn't mind, but typically I might loose interest. I love a guy who can be the man of the relationship.

If I'm the one who asked him out on the date, that would be different. I would then expect to be the one who pays for both of us.

Basically, if you can't afford a date, don't ask them out!

[IdontWantToBeMe]

If I was single I would defiantly split the check these days because it seems like so many guys think because they paid for a meal for you that you are suppossed to give them things in return, so I assume just pay for my own stuff so they can value my time and getting to know me and not think they have to pay for it

[Anonymous]

Kinda lame. He asked ME out. I always offer, but its kinda lame because the guy is the one with the initial interest. If I asked, I would pay. If we know each other already, I don't mind splitting at all. But if he is the one who wants to get to know me, I don't want to have to pay for him to do it.

[Anonymous]

I'd hopefully spot that this guy was either

A) a new age bitter guy who wants chivalry dead because he's mad at women from his past or

B) a cheap ass that would stress over every penny spent in the relationship,

and not go out with him in the first place!

[Living-the-ADvenTURe]

this is usually the case...

[nicole1992]

i've never had to pay for myself on a date. I think that whoever initiates the date should pay. but, I don't think it would be a big deal if you asked to split the check...but, some girls may think that a guy is cheap because of this.

[cyrus7]

I find it funny how you're paying for someone that probably won't consider dating you again. It's like a free dinner/lunch for them :D

how convenient ladies :)

[brooke006]

I think if she offers to split the bill why not? good luck

[Anonymous]

if I offer to split it and you accept that's fine

but if you say first that you want to split the bill, there probably woudn't be a second date. it's not the money, it's the principle

[Anonymous]

you wouldn't be getting a 2nd date hahaha I think who ever asks the person out picks up the tab.

[foolycooly1001]

that's convenient for the woman

[Anonymous]

dude guy always pays... if you really wanted to split you shouldn't have asked her out. and if she asked you out and you dint want to pay for her say no...

its the principal.!

[xLuana]

What is your problem?

[Anonymous]

i think that you should pay on the first date (to be a man or a gentlman), on the second date she can pay or you guys can split the check.