I'm in the same boat as you are. When me and my "boyfriend" ( of a little over two months now) first met I didn't really know what he was looking for since we met online. I didn't really know what I was looking for either since I was very in the career mode and in the midst of mapping my life out (and still am). He seemed really into me and excited about us though which was a good sign. We both agreed that we wanted to "see where things go," but I think in the back of both our minds we wanted to eventually get into a relationship which he even stated. He came on a little too strong at first and it did make me question him a little but I thought about it more and decided that he is a great guy, has a lot to offer and that I needed to just let my guard down with him. We've had a lot fun together, but now I'm at a stage where I'm comfortable taking it to the next level. He's introduced me to his close friends, I met his parents once so far, and we have a few pics of us on Facebook from a friends going away party but we haven't officially called ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. We've gotten into a few fights and I often questioned the longevity of our relationship because of it, but somehow he seems to always want to still be with me. Just the other day, I noticed that we never really go out anywhere. We both work a lot so most of the time we just hang out at his pad and he cooks me dinner and we watch a movie. But now I'm at the stage where I want more from him. Thinking that he was on-board I asked him what we were, since just a few weeks ago he asked that I would and I quote "go on the pill since we are kind of serious." So I assumed that we are basically in a relationship when he said that. So I asked him the famous "what are we" question and he replied that he tells his friends that I'm "his chick" but he didn't say girlfriend or his girl. I told him that I've been telling people that he's my boyfriend and he seemed a little surprised but was like "ok." And I asked what he thought about changing our statuses on Facebook. I know it sounds silly but I wanted to just see his reaction since he does go on there a lot and does network a lot because of his job. He said that he thinks Facebook statuses are stupid and asked if we could wait a little because he doesn't feel ready to explain to all his FB friends and family that he's in a relationship now. He said that I could change my status if I want but asked kind of nervously if I was going to add his name at the end. I said no and he said "ok." And that kind of made me question what he really wants from me? I thought about breaking up with him because of this as a sign that he isn't ready, but I really want this to continue but I'm not sure where he is now with us? And if possibly he may not see us together long term then how come he always talks me out of leaving when we get into fights and I doubt the relationship?
Since you two are sexually active and it sounds like he calls you his girlfriend in private but not in public, I would say he is trying to look good in front of you while keeping his options open.
He could be playing house with you, testing out the idea of a relationship in private while enjoying single status in reality. Yes, he could be only seeing you but until a guy says he is in a relationship with you and calls you girlfriend to all, well he can throw that back in your face if he starts chatting up another girl and you try and call him out on that.
Personally, sex before relationship is putting the cart before the horse, and this is an example of why. He is now sitting on the fence, able to enjoy both worlds while you wonder what is going to happen. As enjoyable as sex is, it doesn't make a relationship and it doesn't get a guy to consider one either. We all have dry spells without sex and it doesn't kill anyone to go without, so it is much better to put that to the side while we develop the connection it takes to want to be in a relationship. Now you are stuck actually having to say something about it if you really want this stalemate to end. Otherwise, endure it for as long as you can. Good luck!
Because...he seems confused..and just needs more time to make sure you are good for him.
He might have gotten hurt in the past...BUT, I have been there in your shoes...
Trust me, don't constantly bug him about being official or anything...When he is ready he will
tell you. Mine finally told me after 6months of dating...but, even then, I do not think he was ready :/
I learned my lesson and next time a guy doesn't want to be my Boyfriend officially, then we are NOT acting like it sexually.
ANyway, best wishess xxxxxxx
...sometimes by calling your his girlfriend is another way of saying..."hey if you call me your boyfriend we'll be official"...
he obviously cares about you,which is good...maybe you should start to notice what he does for you, if its like boyfriendy type stuff...if he does do that then hey just go with it...then maybe in a couple weeks ask what you two are? if he says nothing more than friends ask what his motives are with you since your confused
ive never understood why girls are so intrigued by terminology. I've seen a million girls ask questions like this, but not one single guy. they are just words (non-offensive words at that) so why should it really matter at all?
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I obviously don't know much about your relationship, but because you say you've been together for a few months it seems to me like you're on the road to a relationship and that you're close to each other. So, why not just call him out? Next time he calls you his girlfriend just say something like, "You consider me your girlfriend?" If that's what you want, obviously let him know. But if he keeps saying he wants to see where it goes but he's calling you his girl it seems like he already knows where it's going.
Some guys are basically cowards and want to do an endrun around the whole asking out thing.
Because he wants to have you along for the ride but is not willing to commit to you.
because BOYS ARE TOTALL JERKS AND LOVE IT WHEN THEY LEAD ON GIRLS !
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