Is is hard to actually land a relationship with a white guy if you are an Asian girl?

[Anonymous]

I know many guys with "Yellow fever" will probably respond favorably to this post and answer that Asian girls are awesome, but I'm referring to the decent white guys who don't have any yellow fever, have high paying jobs, decent looking, and are just normal.

Is it actually pretty hard to get a white decent boyfriend if you're an mostly average Asian girl with no outstanding qualities? By outstanding qualities, I mean traits such as beauty, great intelligence, or being rich?

I don't find myself attracted to Asian men for some reason, and rather white guys more sexually appealing. My mother tells me that no decent white guy with a good paying job will marry an Asian girl unless she is incredibly smart or knows what men want.

I have never had a relationship, yet and I'm 22 years old. I feel like my choices in dating are extremely limited because of the fact that I'm Asian and that decent white guys don't really approach Asian girls. My mom is making threats of playing matchmaker for me and talking about the Asian guys that come to church (*gag*), she believes I'll never find a guy or get married because I am very shy and don't know how to flirt.

Asian men around here just don't seem to meet my level of needs whether it be looks or viewpoints. I don't know what I should do, should I just settle for Asian guys, even if I don't find most of them attractive, or should I keep searching even if it may take forever?

[MrOracle]

I've had relationships with almost* every race of woman, and it never really mattered to me what her race was. If you're a cool girl with a good personality, and I'm at all attracted to you, then I'd consider dating you (at least).

Of course, I'm only about half "white", with the other portions being Mexican and various Native American tribes, so perhaps I don't count.

But I've seen a number of white guys with Asian GFs when I knew that the guy didn't have "Yellow Fever" or anything. She was just a cool girl he met and it worked. So I definitely think it's possible.

I *do* think that white guys might be wary of you because they might assume that YOU wouldn't be interested in a non-Asian. I've been told by Asian girls that they will only date Asian guys, and that their family wouldn't accept anything else anyway. If a guy has heard that from enough Asian girls, he might give up asking them. My point here is that you might have to find a way to get past your shyness and find a way to let it be known that you are willing and even interested in dating other-than-Asian guys. For most guys, their biggest fear is being rejected by a woman, so they rarely take a chance at any girl who they aren't pretty sure is going to say "yes." You'll have to figure out a way to get the message to the guys you're interested that you are interested too.

[somewhereintheusa]

try a church that is predominatly white. you will be around college and career group with single white men with morals. I have to be honest, my feelings are a little hurt. I have gotten this label-of having yellow fever, and I don't see why. I love the Asian culture and think Asian women are beautiful;this doesn't mean that I don't see the beauty in other races. Women are beautiful and should be respected. So if I love Asian women the best-I have yellow fever and am not considered a decent man? I mean no disrespect. I don't want to sound rude, but if you find white guys attractive more than your race-does any one say you have white fever or say your not a decent Asian woman?. Maybe you could explain what you mean by yellow fever -maybe I just don't understand-well-I do pray you will find the guy that will make you happy. I know it may sound bad going to a church to meet a guy, but you can look around and find one that teaches a good message and still has guys you might find attractive. I don't think we guys are that hung up on intelligence or a woman knowing what we want. Just be yourself and you will find that guy.

[magnoliacrush]

I personally never had a problem...since I only date white guys. But I'm pretty choosy though. I don't date guys with "yellow fever" because they tend to be pretty creepy and majority of them are way into martial arts for my liking.

I'm not attracted to Asian men either, sorry if that offends anyone. I just know what works for me and what doesn't, it's a preference.

I guess, to me, it's a lot easier to meet dateable guys in universities than anywhere else. I try to meet guys I'm interested by 'accidently' pairing up with one in class. That way, I have an excuse to talk to them. If they're not interested, then no big. If so, then awesome.

[Asker]

I wish there were more group works in college classes... We only to listen to long boring lectures and leave right afterwards...

[heatherlu]

My brother's white. He was dating an Asian girl for 4 years.

Don't ever 'settle' for a guy who you don't think is right for you - but I'd also encourage you not to write a guy off straight away because of his skin color or ethnicity.

[taster]

WOW! New pic! Thanx for sharing! I looked for pics of you on FB but there are none! ):

[heatherlu]

I keep them hidden and my profile private :)

[taster]

Well! OK then! (: LOL! However...STILL thank you for sharing! It's OK if like you..isn't it? :O

[heatherlu]

haha sure

[taster]

Then I guess it behooves me to give you an Up Arrow! Have a GREAT Day! (:

[heatherlu]

I thank you.

[DianaWest]

why do you want a white guy with a "high paying job?" won't a decent job do, considering that you want a "decent" white man?

[Logorithim]

Well, I have an Asian girlfriend who isn't wealthy or a model type, although she has a great work ethic and personality, so I guess I can give you some good insights.

First of all, although I understand why you want a guy with a high-paying job, you need to remember that those guys have lots of options as far as women go, meaning you'd have to work hard to get their attention. That doesn't mean flirting with them or approaching them out of the blue. I think what you need to do is to find ways to come into contact with the type of guy you're interested in rather than hitting on them. Where do you have contact with white guys now?

I've had four Asian gfs, and none of them approached me- I approached them. I have to disagree with @MrOracle when he says that White guys will assume you prefer Asian guys. That generally does not inhibit a White guy that is interested in an Asian Woman.

[MrOracle]

"I have to disagree with @MrOracle when he says that White guys will assume you prefer Asian guys. That generally does not inhibit a White guy that is interested in an Asian Woman."

I was referring to white guys in general, rather than white guys who specifically desire Asian women. A guy with a specific target is more likely to engage when he finds one than a guy who is just looking for a woman to date.

[l-hedoniste]

There's no helping getting a guy with yellow fever; any white guy who dates you is going to be into Asians, and the ones who are really, really into you are the ones most likely to have yellow fever. It's inherent to interracial dating--the more attracted they are, the more likely that you're dealing with a fetishist.

But to steal a page from the BDSM playbook: no healthy person is *only* their fetishes. He may have the yellow fever, and *also* want to treat you with love and respect. This is what dating is for, to tease stuff like this out. You can--and should--be straight-up about insisting on being loved for being a woman and a human, *as well as* being an Asian.

Note also that you're fishing in a narrow pond: professional white guys who are into Asians--not nonprofessionals, not nonwhites. You're into whatever you're into, but the bigger your net, the more you catch.

[somewhereintheusa]

Once again my friend, I am very impressed with your answer. You are very articulate.I enjoy your responses. you have a great day.

[l-hedoniste]

Thanks!

[CuriousEddie]

I think an attractive girl is an attractive girl, period... but I guess I can only speak for myself... I really don't ever recall having a discussion with guys about race of girls... well, wait, maybe that makes my point!

That said, just like some guys find red hair more attractive, or small breasts more attractive, or blue eyes more attractive, or freckles, or size 5 feet, etc... I also don't have a problem with a guy who finds a certain color of skin attractive. That isn't racism to me, just to notice something you think is more attractive...

I hope you're wrong, though, about guys in general, and the right person simply hasn't met you yet!

[kheserthorpe]

Its pretty common where I live, and white male-asian female marriages are pretty common too.

Where do you live? If its not somewhere with a ton of white professional males, its the wrong spot ;)

As for you ... being nice, kind, in good shape and dressing in a way that flatters you is going to matter more then being rich etc.

[taster]

Well idk..I have lots of friends...I have never ever heard even one of them say that they would not marry an Asian...in the nature of things, I 'm sure that some guy, somewhere would not...but I gotta believe that most males would be willing to marry an Asian..I mean none of us is attractive to 100% of the opposite gender...so...if a guy doesn't seem interested in you...cannot jump to the conclusion that it is because of your ethnic origin...

[Anonymous]

I don't have yellow fever, but I do see girls that are white, black and Asian, who look nice. Whatever color, what matters, is what she is like. If she's loving, caring, honest and moral, the color simply doesn't matter. So, yes, a regular guy can a have good relationships with an Asian girl.

[Anonymous]

Never settle for anything less than what you want. That only leads to regrets. You might be being a bit picky when it comes to white guys though. Maybe if you lowered you standards just a little bit you could find a decent white guy that you are interested in. I am white but I am not sure if I meet your criteria. I have never dated an Asian girl but am not oppesed to it

[heatherlu]

LOL

I love this - never settle for anything less than what you want ... 2 seconds later - lowering your standards might me a good idea.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha I just noticed that. I think you know what I mean though

[heatherlu]

Yeah I do. I totally get your point as well - it was just funny the way it was written.

[jackflynn7]

As an Asian girl if you are attractive charming intelligent and discipline you could have just about any guy you wantY

[Asker]

Yea, probably so... And I'm probably lacking in 3/4 areas

[Johnnie1000]

I don't think it matters as long as you are a American Asian. Some Asian women retain too much old country thoughs in culture and speach to be attractive to men.

[Anonymous]

lol about as hard as it is for a white girl to date a black guy.

[heatherlu]

That's not very hard then.

[Asker]

? if you're hinting that it's not hard at all...can you elaborate?

[heatherlu]

I've dated three black guys, and recently I've been approached by far more black guys than I have any other race.

[Opinion Owner]

its not hard at all. most white guys love asians. In fact the most common interracial couple in the U.S. is white male Asian female.

[heatherlu]

lol. okay. I never said it was hard ...

[Asker]

Then why is my mom so stubborn in thinking that its rare for Asian girls to get white guys? Well, I guess it depends on how attractive the girl is... She's probably impling I'm not sexy enough for white guys...

[Opinion Owner]

I was answer the QA's question if you can read.

[Asker]

Either there's nothing attractive about me or I'm not self confident enough

[Logorithim]

Asker, in my experience, Asian women tend to underestimate their attractiveness and abilities in general. Your mom thinks she is being realistic but in fact in this case she is probably being too pessimistic. It's much more likely that you are not confident enough.

[jily8]

i understand ur situation. just follow what u feel inside. date a white guy if u want to. i don't like Asian men so i'll date only white men. r u in college?

[0100001111010001110]

I would date an Asian woman as I would date women from any nationality, if I really like her. The person’s quality is the most important for me. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

So you want someone with a high paying job, but don't have one?

[Asker]

Well, I mean educated guys who will graduate from good universities, I am a soon to be uni grad as well

[Logorithim]

OK, University is usually one of the easiest, if not the easiest, place for white guys and Asian women to meet each other. I know that there is pressure from your parents to focus on your studies, but you can ask guys to study with you.