Women: is a direct approach the best way to approach a woman?

[Anonymous]

By direct approach, I mean going up to a woman and saying "Hey. I saw you and I wanted to meet you", instead of making small talk.

The pros:

He isn't beating around the bush. He's not making irrelevant boring small talk. He's not asking you the time, for directions or what aisle the bread is on. He's going for what he wants. How many guys actually approach a hot woman just to get directions? A lot of guys pretend to approach for small talk, but that's not what they really want.

The cons:

The con of this is that it could corner the woman into a quick decision. Women aren't instantly attracted as often as men are. But by a direct approach like that, it could immediately put her in the decision where she has to judge him as a potential date, and she might reject him because of she hasn't had enough time with him.

How would you react if a guy approached you like that? Bold and direct? Or creepy and too strong?

Your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Yes, because then the poor guy doesn't waste a bunch of time and energy pining over a girl who isn't interested. Be sure to put emphasis on "I"d like to get to know you better" ... and not infer that you think she's the woman of your dreams or anything silly like that.

It's only creepy if the guy tries to skip all of the "getting to know you" and get straight to the sex or the relationship.

Also, after you throw that out there, be ready to exchange a little bit of small talk about who you are and all that jazz. Agree to meet in a public place or to talk on the phone a little first.

Also, be ready to be rejected more. Not just because it's a bolder move, but because you don't have time to evaluate if she is interested in dating at all. In other situations, guys look at body language, eye contact, etc. Just seeing someone pretty and asking her out leaves a lot of "unknown territory" like if she seems to be single or if she isn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

[Asker]

but if a guy just started out with small talk and then talked about getting to know the woman, would that be better or worse?

[Opinion Owner]

I think either way works, really -- as long as you present yourself as interested from the beginning. What doesn't work is if you pretend to be interested in something completely different and then get ticked that she's not interested in sleeping with you six months later.

[Hoofdpijn]

What if a guy just straight up asks important compatible questions?

"Are you single? What are you doing education-wise? Any major hobbies? Do you read?" fairly quickly, with wisecracks and jokes interspersed. He'd fill you in on himself, as well.

If you answer 'right'/compatibly, he says "Okay, so, I think you're quite pretty, and I think that at least superficially there is some small chance we could be compatible, maybe as friends, maybe as something more. Want to grab coffee?"

[Opinion Owner]

I think you can ask those types of questions in the first conversation, yes. I wouldn't break in with any of them, though, start with a tiny bit of introduction and humor, first.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Small talk is better because why would I want to date a man that I know nothing about?I know WHY a guy would approach me but small talk and initial conversation is good for social reasons. Before I waste my time going on a date with a stranger, I should at least get a feel for his personality and see if we vibe well and small talk is a way to do that. It sounds as if you're just looking for sex and not really trying to get to know a woman. That's fine, but then you still have to make small talk and flirty banter to turn the woman on and pique her interest. The cons you listed are exactly why I would not respond well if a guy approached me like that.

[Asker]

yeah. good point. what I mean is, even if a guy does decide to use this approach, there has to be a conversation after. it's not like he just asks for her number right after.

[beerY33]

yeah, if you're being sincere and confident about it, I think that would be really nice. I would appreciate not being approached with some comment directly about my appearance.

[Asker]

you mean comments like "nice ass" or "your eyes are so beautiful"?

[beerY33]

right.

[antonlikesmlb]

It's a high risk/high reward scenario. You'll come off as creepy to some women, it's unavoidable, but that doesn't actually make you a creeper. If she likes you then you're in.

[Asker]

and if she doesn't like you, then it wouldn't have worked anyway, even if a guy tried the low-risk approach, right?

also, do you think a woman's opinion of a guy could improve from "ehh" to "he's interesting and attractive" from the first 10 seconds, to a couple of minutes of talking?

[antonlikesmlb]

You get 3 min to make an impression.

[LostFriend]

i prefer guys who are polite and sane. I prefer small talk. but if any guy says "hey I saw you and I wanted to meet you" I think its too strong but I won't be offended. so I don't find any reason to dislike his behavior. its just too strong words make me blank for ideas what to respond.

[Asker]

would make the situation awkward?

[Anonymous]

Yeah that would be a really bold action I would say. I will be kinda shocked if someone were to do that to me! I do agree with th cons as stated. Women sometimes are quite sensitive and would like to be approached in a more subtle manner. And sometimes they take a longer time to evaluate a person.

[musicbrain5]

I wouldn't mind as long as he's not there to just compliment me on my clothes or how great my ass looks or something. Actually make an effort to start a conversation and if she's not that interested in you, you'll know within 30 seconds.

[CatsMeow9]

I prefer bold and direct, yet respectful. Small talk to me says he's not confident and he approaches a lot of women. Even if I'm not interested that's what I prefer.

[Deft_maiden]

Make your intentions known and be direct about it. Soften your approach with some indirect, intelligent small talk! That's priceless

[Anonymous]

I would personally admire direct approach because it takes guts and even if I didn't find you attractive I Would respect you for having guts to say that to me so its a win win situation!

[charizzle]

i'd say be 80% direct, leave some room for the girl to get to know you through a little chitchat.

[Asker]

i get the overall idea of what you are saying, but do you think going up to a woman and saying that you saw them and you wanted to meet them goes past that 80%

[toulouse]

im direct. so I prefer people to be direct, or I have difficulty understanding them.