Going to a bar alone to meet guys?

[Anonymous]

I'm single and looking to find someone. I'm doing online dating as well, but I am having a heck of a time finding guys that are interested. I have a well thought out profile, I'm friendly, nice and I have been told I am pretty.

I've asked for suggestions on my profile, and people say it's good. However, I'm not attracting the type of men that I want.

I'm not superficial. I just want someone who is similar to me. I have a career. a good job, I'm down-to-earth and don't drink heavily or do drugs.

I just want a guy who is kind, considerate, has a good head on his shoulders and wants the same things I do (eventually marriage and family).

I go to the gym everyday (although I am not super fit, but I am working towards better health).

But I still don't seem to get any guys. I've been sending messages out and getting no response. Well thought out messages too, I read their profiles and ask questions.

Anyway, should I start going to the bars alone to meet guys? I'm not sure where else to go. Guys at the gym don't talk to me either :S

I'm always smiling and talk to anyone who talks to me.

[Snowman63]

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, but I think you're wanting to look for love in all the wrong places. If you want a guy who's kind, considerate, wants marriage and family down the road, etc., you're probably not going to find him at a bar. Going to bars isn't going to meet your needs, but will probably give you some bad experiences. The dating services are hit or miss and maybe a waste of time and money. Going to the gym is not a very successful place to look for a partner. Try not to get disappointed. You're young and your test right now seems to be a test of patience. My suggestion is to get plugged into some activities that you would enjoy where you can meet and mingle with girls and guys who are of good character. Are you part of a church community? Getting plugged into one can be a positive thing. There are all kinds of clubs for every interest under the sun, and evening classes, etc. Do some fun things that are with other singles your age, and smile and be friendly. Some guy will take an interest in you.

[USGrant]

You're doing the right things and have the right attitude, you're young, just be patient. Good things happen when least expected. Bar is not the answer, I struggle finding good chicks there, so I usually approach, chat, flirt, drink with the buddies, and leave with the buddies (ie, the girls there are fun to interact with but get written off). Do more hobbies and activities. Not sure why peeps don't approach at the gym, that must be the easiest place to pick someone up, except maybe church, Target, the library, work,... And I don't buy into online ish, sorry, I'd skip that. Do you have friends to do stuff with?

[Asker]

Not really a whole lot of friends. I had to move away from my friends for college. Most of my friends aren't at the same stage in life. I have a career, they work at minimum wage type jobs. Plus they don't drive, so I am the one always having to go see them. Which I just can't always do that. So I'm new to this city after having gotten a job. So yes, I'm kind of short on friends as well :(

[USGrant]

Yeah, I hear that, same happened to me to and from college. And my main bar friends who are actually local are so poor/cheap it's not even fun going with them anymore since I always buy the first round and it's rarely reciprocated so unless I keep buying they stay sober and boring. Not that alchy is the answer, but bars without alchy is quasi-pointless. No guys at the gym or work who you like? What is your favorite hobby, sans gym and work?

[Asker]

I work primarily with married people over the age of 40. And by the time I am done work and done the gym, it's time for me to go home and rest :P The guys at the gym don't seem interested. Not sure why. I'm trying to find things around to do.

[USGrant]

Can you go to the gym a couple fewer days each week and join a softball or some other local league instead? Or jog around town instead of the gym? And church?

[Asker]

I already go on walks outside of going to the gym a few times a week. Church is not really my thing. I've already tried going several times through my life and it just doesn't work out.

[USGrant]

Try a different gym? (or a different anri-perspirant? :0) Volunteer at an animal shelter? Have you asked friends to set you up?

[Asker]

I've had friends set me up in the past. Bad idea :S They set me up with people completely different than me. (ie. no job, does heavy drugs, only looking for sex). When my friends know what type of person I am (I work full-time, want a family, etc...).

[DivineBrown]

I seem to get the most attention when I'm too damn busy to date. I think it has something to do with having a life outside of them. Men seem to like to pursue. Hang back. Don't look like you're looking and you'll probably have better luck. I think genuinely enjoying yourself in whatever you are doing is the trick (versus smiling all the time... It can be contrived). Joy is contagious and very sexy.

[FourStar]

Damn maybe no offense you may have try to to be moer attractive, but online dating sucks don't do that sh*t ever its terrible, doesn't matter what site you use, try to be more flirtatious and approachable.

[Asker]

How do I be more flirtatious and more approachable? I'm already smiling constantly and really friendly? :S

[FourStar]

Ok maybe not approachable become more touchy feely with guys try to let them know your single and your on "the hunt" for a guy. I'm not saying dress like a slut but do things that appeal to guys more. Give out your number to guys text them and what not

[Anonymous]

You should go to the bars . Most of the men there are just practicing their "game" or just looking for one night stands. You should consider going to social events like parties, or to the library, park , coffee shops and get to know the guys there.

[Moloch]

Stay away from bars. I'd check volunteer places.