Rubbing it in someone's face after rejecting them why?

[gator909]

I have never experienced something like this before maybe you can shed some light on this...

There is this girl I use to really like. Well, I asked her out and she proceed to laugh. I thought at the time she was just nervous but no, she was just playing me for a fool. She tells me she is dating someone, only after I let her know I was serious about asking her out.

I realized I was just a game to her. Before this happened she would ask me to do things for her. Stupidly I thought this was her way of flirting. So after she rejected me I decided to avoid her at all cost and to never speak to her again.

Well, several years have gone by and I still want nothing to do with her.

Unfortunately, there are times when we are in a group of people together and she proceeds to tell everyone how hot, wonderful, etc her boyfriend is. It seems very over done on her part. This is now starting to happen all the time, almost like to rub it in my face or she wants an award or something.

They have been dating for years and I'm not chasing after her, so I don't really understand this behavior. I'm not a jerk to him and don't feel the need to be.

Does she want me to speak to her again and say "congratulations."

I can't believe someone would actually do this, and why?

[Sib999]

She's just being an a**hole.

The way you describe her rejection sounds like she's on pedestal above all mortals. She could have perfectly said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend", or somehow explained that those feelings weren't mutual. Rejection is already very painful by its own weight to laugh or humiliate the person on top of it.

The fact that after several years she still goes out of her way to rub that all over the place sounds like she's got a serious need for self assurance.

Whatever the case, she's being ridiculous by doing that. Be the bigger person and ignore that, don't let it bother you because it's not worth it.

The only thing that I think could lead her to acting like that would be that there's more to this story, something perhaps that you haven't mentioned or some kind of reason for her to be upset or something. Nobody will know the context as well as you, but if even something like that happened I still think a mature person is not supposed to do something like that.

[Sib999]

Just thinking out loud here... are you sure she's doing this just in order to piss you off? I mean, giving it a second thought it seems weird that she would bother to do something like that so many years later. Did you get over her? Aren't you perhaps taking thinks too personally, or looking for things that aren't there?

[Butterfly1002]

Hmmm... The only thing I can think is that she honestly doesn't realize what she is doing or how it affects you... She probably sincerely thought you were joking when you asked her out because she thought of you as a friend and you probably didn't just pull it out of the blue, you probably waited for a moment where it fits. She probably feels awful about it! (I've been in similar situations and you do genuinely feel horrid about it, but also you can't apologize really for something like that, I mean not in a way that makes it better). So she is probably talking about her boyfriend a lot around you so it doesn't happen again and so that you at least lost to a good competitor... Nothing is worse then having to tell a genuine guy "sorry but I have a boyfriend" and then having the dirty laundry of that relationship (and let's face it after a little bit all relationships have dirty laundry) aired out in front of him...

[onemoreplease]

Is it possible that she has her own reasons for talking about her boyfriend in an exaggerated way? It may have nothing to do with you at all... she may feel insecure and wants to prove how happy she is to everyone she talks to, or she may literally be that happy and just wants to talk about it all the time. I totally understand why you would be annoyed, but I think it's a big jump to assume she's still trying to tear you down because you asked her out several years ago. People have all kinds of reasons for doing/saying the things they do, and rarely is it to get revenge on one person.

[InquisitiveMale]

I think she is just insecure and over compensating. Go on doing what you've been doing and continue to ignore the girl when possible. If she really is doing it for your sake you'd be doing the best thing available.

Or opt for confrontation... depends how good you are at handling those sorts of things. I received a standing ovation a couple years ago at a bar for confronting a nasty piece of work who made a public spectacle of my rejection. Later that night her friends even approached me apologizing on her behalf. They bought me a drink and everything. I've never felt better after a rejection.

[Anonymous]

the best thing you could possibly do is get a girl even more beautiful than her then treat her like a princess like you would of done her. then your girlfriend can boast even better about you :) you would piss her off and be happy at the same time!

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Well she seems very rude. I'd just say my goodness if he's so hot and wonderful why in the world would he downgrade to someone so spiteful and coarse? Must've had to work hard and get that one hmm Stacey?

[Anonymous]

She is an immature arrogant girl.. Out to prove something to herself

[art84]

Maybe she just wants to brag about her boyfriend just to make you feel like you couldn't have her.

[1diamond]

She sounds very young and immature!