In my teens I often pursued older girls. Usually, they would laugh at me, and some would get angry and tell me to go away at the first sign of my flirting with them.
But one girl, a student body president, studious and modest, instead took it upon herself to teach me about relationships. OF course, she was only 20 and not in any way an expert, herself, but naturally knew a lot more than a 16 year old1
She let me flirt with her and we would make out a little on the college lawn. But then she'd take me to a private place and tell me she had a guy her own age, and all about him. she would ask me why I wasn't with girls my own age, and I did my best to explain that I was attracted to more mature [ep[;e, and liked their ability to discuss subjects that people my own age generally couldn'.t.
She listened to everything I said very carefully. Then she gave me a book to read about Buddhism, of which I knew very little. She said it was good not to devote yourself to 'getting' girls, whatever their age, and should focus on gaining more maturity.
She would go over everything we did together, and also she knew a lot about me from other girls.
She would criticiw me about all my recent actions in detail, but never got angry of spiteful. She ws always gentle and soothing. Even when she had to tell me hurtful things about what people said about me, which she didn't sugarcoat.
Of course she made it quite clear she wasn't going to be a girl friend! But I never resented it, or tried to argue, since she was able t show me that the only a lot of pain and disruption woud have resulted.
She finally said that it was time to say goodbye, no more rolling around he lawn...no more kissing.,and though we wuld talk once in a while she had her duties to attend to, and was gettting feedback and gossip about our relationship from her friends and from her faculty supervisor, whom she greatly respected.
She said she would have to take action to dispel this gossip and show the world nothing romantic was happening between us, and also she felt she had to deal with my other relationships that involved a club we belonged to on campus.
She very firmly took these actions, just as she had told me, and they hurt me at some levels, but they weren't a surprise and I never fought or complained about what she felt she HAD to do about me.
The goodbye was so definitive that I never tried to keep contact. IT would have been against nature as she had made me understand. She is married now (not the guy she was going with back then.). She has 3 kids.
I earned more from her than from any of the silly 'relationships' of my teen years, that's for sure, and will always be thankful.
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