Why do girlfriends wanna know how many girls we've fucked before?

[Anonymous]

This question got me thinking; why do girls want to know how many girls we've slept with before them?

I'm kinda curious, because this is a question I would never ask my girlfriend and would never want to know the answer to.

Updates

+1 y

So - where is the "cut off line" girls? At what count do you girls say to a guy "Damn, you are one nasty player. I'm breaking up with you"?

What's an acceptable number?

[Anonymous]

Well for me, even though I have never asked and when I think about it though, like if it happens in a relationship (by a miracle); I would really like to know. I am not experienced and am not sure if I can satisfy in the bedroom, so when I ask a guy about sleeping with other girls, I want to know because it might make me feel inferior to his experiences and expertise, and should know if I must continue in the relationship believing this. Basically, I feel like I'm not worthy enough to do it, with someone of your knowledge on this, while I don't. It's like a subconscious-self-doubt kind of thing for me. I think the same thing happens with emotions for me, so yea.

Hope this answered your question!

[Anonymous]

I don't know all that stuff seems important when your young young but you'd figure with age people would get over themselves and their insecurities I don't know. I personally wouldn't mind hearing all about your sexual shnadagins but as stories and experiences not as a number I think that's weird and just a way for people to either shame the other person or validate themselves... never good. I however like open and honest relationships where everything is just out there. Bitterness, jealousy and insecurities do not belong in my life or my relationships.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Because I don't want to be with anyone who's got a high body count that's just disgusting. My boyfriend is my first, and he's only been with two other people each just one time. That very limited number still makes me uncomfortable and I do wish I was his first. Honestly those things happened years ago though when he was in middle school so, it's better than what a lot of people have.

[Asker]

What would you call a high "body count" ?

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I think any person who's been with 5+ is at a high body count and even that is pushing it. Somewhere between 0-3 is more acceptable I suppose. My boyfriend is the only man I plan on being with. We're going to get married. I think each person should only be with that one person but I know that's not how it happens. If it doesn't work out then the next man I'm with is the man I'm married to. So 1 is my goal, I will never go beyond 2.

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

Firstly, body count matters for girls even if most dont admit it. Second, her knowing your body count kinda gives her an insight in what kind of person you are and your mental state. Thirdly, we hope you haven't f*cked anyone we know. Lastly, I dont know i feel like we set ourselves up for failure doing it because most of the time it just kills all attraction.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

My wife and I shared our previous experiences. We both got a kick out of knowing. My wife had a LOT more experience than me. She was kind of, sort of disappointed she wasn't my first. She was shocked that I had only been with one girl before her, and only one time, because I acted more experienced than I was. I was just enthusiastic and willing to try anything. I was just grateful to be with someone who knew what the hell she was doing. And I was rewarded with many interesting experiences with her. :-)

[Asker]

"We both got a kick out of knowing."

Why?

One of my friends is in a relationship now and said she had been with six other guys before him (a question I did not ask him) but I asked him "So, she's had sex with six different guys?" to which his reply was "Yep" and I'm sure if I had asked "And are you ok with that knowledge?" he would probably have replied "Nope"

[VirginiaBeachBum]

Maybe because we were secure in our relationship with each other. The fact she had sex with others before we met was of no concern to me. In fact, I became good friends with one of her ex boyfriends. He was a really good guy.

[DiogoRibeiro]

This never leads to anything good. I usually am very careful when answering this. The best thing is to give them a number and dismiss it as something not important (it isn't!).

And yeah... I have never asked this question to any of the women I've dated in the past. ;)

[Asker]

Neither have I.

But boy did my last girlfriend bring up her ex (at least the one before me) up a lot! If I told her to stop it she would for a few weeks. I thought it was because she wasn't over him but Cosmo magazine states it's because "she's showing you she's over him"

... geeez, the female psyche Completely fucked up.

I'm almost willing to bet if I were to answer I had slept with three girls they would think "Geez, what a looser. I should dump him" and if I were to answer thirty they would also think "Geez, what a looser. I should dump him"

[DiogoRibeiro]

I dated a girl that wouldn't shut up about her ex too.

At first I was OK with it, but then she brought him up during a fight and I plain told her to go back to him. Hahaha... She wasn't happy.

It's all about balance. You can't pretend both of you don't have history (specially if you're in mid-20s or 30s), but it's just not good to turn it into a regular conversation subject.

Good luck, man! :)

[Johnagain]

I see a high percentage of fems addressing the morality of the question. That's fine, but... numbers. I see 2 talking numbers. (Read the question again.) It's true, #'s are reletive, but it's a gradient deal breaker I think the asker is looking for. (Like the "cheese meter") Ladies?

[Asker]

Yeah I asked that in a follow up question... but I don't think I'm gonna go any further and open that Pandora box up any more, since that's just gonna be a hassle

media.giphy.com/media/39UYck3abLHj2/giphy.gif

... heck, here's one girl that can't handle that her boyfriend has had a longer history of being sexually active (!): www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1936907-i-m-jealous-of-boyfriend-losing-virginity-way-earlier-than-me

[Johnagain]

Ha! Me neither.

[Anonymous]

Every girl is different, but I would guess it's because they want to see how special they are to you and how they will be treated. If you are a guy who can't count how many girls he's been with, the girl will feel valueless and even convince herself that you see her that way and will treat her that way. However, if you've had fewer hookups, she'll feel rare and will have a response opposite to the former. It's just an insecurity thing, every woman expresses their insecurity in a different way.

[Asker]

So, how would your reaction be if you asked your boyfriend and he would answer "I'm not gonna dignify that with an answer" ?

[Opinion Owner]

I know this is horrible, but I would probably not only lose respect for a guy I now think is selfish and inconsiderate but also assume the worst, like he's a womanizer or something, thinking that if what he was keeping to himself was a good thing he would've been up front about it and not kept me in the dark in the first place. Keep in mind that I'm a bit of an overthinker lol.

[txcountrygirl]

I figure that if ibhave to ask that question, maybe i have doubts... meaning i am suspecting he has had a large number in the past.
I dont think one would give a correct number, male or female.
I think anything under double digits is reasonable.

[Bandit74]

I'm not sure who asks more but people lie so its not like the information you get is accurate.

I dont think I would want to ask either. Id rather just create a sexual history for them in my head.

[Anonymous]

I'll quote you here: "I never talked about it with my ex; although she seemed keen in letting me know that she had an ex; told me what his name was, where he lived etc etc - all without me asking.
Not information I wanted to hear; luckily I never met him because I don't want to see a guy that I know has been dipping his penis inside my girlfriend".

So even you are disgusted by promiscuity? Men are not the only ones who are grossed out by it, you know.

[Asker]

Don't put words in my mouth!

Read it again, because your reading comprehension doesn't seem fluent

[aliceinwonderland69]

It's a good indicator of how likely you are to be loyal and commited.

[Asker]

I'm very curious, how so?

[aliceinwonderland69]

Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour. So if you have been in commited relationships it means you are more likely to be loyal in the future. But if you have just fucked around it shows your not looking for relationship and may cheat.

[Asker]

So, you would have to take a lot into consideration; length of relationship and how many? There's no guarantee that a guy that has had one relationship that lasted two years won't cheat.

Heck, here's a guy that says he wants to marry his girlfriend and yet he cheated on her: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1934550-girl-would-you-marry-a-guy-who-cheated-on-you-but-came-honest-told

And at what time become the relationship too many? Where do girls draw the line? Do girls also wanna know how many one night stands us guys have had? ... then most of us are fcked

[aliceinwonderland69]

I wouldn't just ask how many girls you've fucked, I'd be a bit more subtle. So I'd ask how long was your longest relationship, how long you'd been single for, whether you date much.

[Asker]

I should ask another question here on GAG on how girls would react when their boyfriends would refuse to answer those questions :)

[aliceinwonderland69]

I would ask them before I slept with you and not sleep with you if you refused to answer.
Red flag.

[Asker]

Good thing there are plenty of hand lotions and Fleshlights in this world :)

[Johnagain]

lol! 😄 You'll want to know how many he's currently screwing or WOULD (could possibly) screw again. What's over & done with is in the past, no? He's with you now, right?

[aliceinwonderland69]

@Johnagain Yes I would want to know how many he was currently screwing and if he was screwing anyone else I would not be interested. Obviously I cannot predict future. I hate it when people say past is in the past because often the past repeats itself. If someone has cheated in past they are likely to do it again. I believe there are men who are capable of loyalty.

[Johnagain]

True. Good luck.

[Doffydood]

For the same reasons guys ask I'd imagine- so they know they're not going out with a complete man-whore :)
(unless they don't care about that sort of stuff, which it totally fine for them. Y'know, good for them and all that)

[kaylaS91]

That's a question that I asked my boyfriend only after he asked me.
It's a pretty common thing to be open with discussing your partner's sexual history. Nothing to be ashamed about, it is what it is!

[bloodmountain1990]

I never get asked these questions nor do I ask my date. Anyone who's seen Clerks knows these questions don't end well haha.

[Anonymous]

I want to know so I know if he's slutty or not. I don't want some used up dick.

[Asker]

So, you would prefer a virgin? Because even dipping it once in a watering hole makes it used

[Opinion Owner]

Not a virgin, just not "used up" used up is different to used before. It's like a car, it doesn't have to be brand new, but I wouldn't want one that's had way too many drivers before.

[Asker]

Where is your cut off point? Where do you think that the guy has had too many drivers?

[Opinion Owner]

I thought about that when I saw this question and I honestly don't know anymore because I've been with my boyfriend for so long now, since we were quite young, and back then the cut off point was a lot lower... Now, if we broke up and I met new guys my age, the average guy would have slept with more than it would have been back when I got with this guy.
Just not too deep into the double numbers I guess. And the type of relationships will count for more. I wouldn't like somebody who has had all sorts of partners and one night stands.
There are guys out there who can't count how many they've had, those would definitely be a no. I know from guy friends there are still relatively good looking, normal guys who haven't had too many, so i know it wouldn't be impossible to find one if i had to.

[Anonymous]

because she cares and is serious about you. If you understand each other well, she should be okay with it

[Asker]

There was a question here on GAG a while back, that I think I linked to in one of my replies somewhere here, that a girl asked a guy about his total, and he answered truthfully - and she walked out on him, without saying a word.

If my next girlfriend is so stupid as to ask me this, I'll enquire her and let her give me her number and I'll make darn sure the fake number she'll get will be a number lower than hers... so that she can feel good about herself, and that she doesn't walk away from the relationship

[Opinion Owner]

well, if she asked such a question, she should be ready to accept the answer. she did wrong by walking away

[Anonymous]

When I asked my boyfriend how many girls he fucked before and he said six, I was like damn I need to step up my game.

[Asker]

Hopefully you didn't say that to him because it's clear you don't see a future with him and will dump him soon

[Opinion Owner]

I do want! I just tought that because he has way more experience in sex than me, and I don't want to disappoint him...

[OrdinaryGentleman]

So they can have something else to feel unhappy about.

[BackAgain]

I thought it was a common topic couples discus

[Asker]

I never talked about it with my ex; although she seemed keen in letting me know that she had an ex; told me what his name was, where he lived etc etc - all without me asking.

Not information I wanted to hear; luckily I never met him because I don't want to see a guy that I know has been dipping his penis inside my girlfriend

[BackAgain]

Lol telling you where he lives sounds a little too much but the name is pretty usual... In the u. s. a.

[Anonymous]

To judge you see what type of person you are

[Asker]

Can you elaborate?

[Opinion Owner]

Well I figured if I asked.. I'd want to see if he's the type of guy to not put that much effort in or is he a relationship kinda guy, if he had over 200 partners it's safe to say he would not be taking me as serious, so I'd know he's just a good time.

[Johnagain]

Hmm... To judge... (Tisk, tisk.)

[Kylesar]

Sexual history isn't a bad thing to discuss

[skeptic007]

its normal