There were 2 questions asked recently about whether women would stop seeing a guy if their friend's and family didn't like him and most girls said yes. The other question, was if a girl would leave their man if she found that her friend's SO were more affectionate than him and again most women said yes. For the second question, this wasn't meant to say that the man in question treated his girlfriend badly but rather that he may not like to hold hands in public with her or take her out all the time.
Why do women care so much about the opinion of others when it comes to their SO?
Your question implies that it is a negative thing for a woman to value the opinion of the people that love her most. Friends and family are there loving a woman before the guy comes along in your scenario. SO OF COURSE the smart thing to do is appreciate, value, and deeply consider the opinions of your loved ones towards a new guy the girl dates. Sometimes the wisest thing one can do is listen to these people because of their objective, "out of the relationship" perspective. These loved ones are not judging her, or even him. They are judging his effect on her because they care about her, sooooooo the best and obvious thing to do is listen and care about what they think. As for the second part, well a girl desires to feel special and like "the only girl in the world", so if her friends significant others are more affectionate, than well the guy isn't really making her feel that way now is he.
You're looking at it only from the perspective of her emotional security. You totally excluded her friends' validation of her SO's looks and status. What happens when an a good, loving guy is regarded as unattractive or not financial stable enough for her by her friends? The relationship is over.
Most women actually don't care about a man, or love, or romance, they only do those things to impress other women, not to be seen as, "oh, she's pathetic, she can't find a man."
They find men attractive because other women find that man attractive. They don't actually care what he looks like for themselves, they just don't want other women to think an ugly man is the best she can get.
Again, that's most women. Not all. Only like 70% maybe.
I'd never leave my SO if my family and friends disliked him. It's me who's in a relationship with him not them. If they didn't have anything nice to say about him then I'd tell them to refrain from talking about him. My friends and family know better than to say anything mean to me about anyone in my life that I care about, coz I wouldn't tolerate it.
If the whole " world"disliked my SO , I'd still stay with him. Other people's opinions would never sway my loyalty to someone I care about or love
As for the latter part of your question, it wouldn't bother me if he felt uncomfortable holding hands in public, some people do feel uncomfortable displaying affection in public, but he'd need to be an affectionate person in private coz I love giving and receiving affection. It's one of the qualities I look for in a guy. It would be a deal - breaker If he wasn't affectionate in private
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
My family and friends are very supportive so if they right off the bat took issue then there's probably a reason why and if they can articulate that I'll listen. I mean rarely has aything even been said that I wasn't already thinking normally they justy help finalize somethign you are already thinking hence why you listen, you just needed the thought verified. But if everything is good and gets bad later genrally because of less time spent with them it's best to ride it through because if they matter and care they come around later and eat their words. As far as question 2 I'd never dump someone who wan't acting like someone else because well... if I wanted someone else I'd already be dating them. I always dated who I did for a thought out reason and feeling I am ahppily married now to a great man. 10 years married this September, 14years in July.
I actually have a pretty good judgement when it comes to friends and boyfriends. Some call me picky, but it actually benefits me in the end. I would never break up with someone solely based on my family/friends' opinion on him. That's just ridiculous and shows that you don't have a backbone or your own personality. I would take it into consideration if my mom absolutely hated him, but that's because she's pretty good at knowing people as well. Stilll though, she would never have the final say. I also don't encourage anyone to be all up in my business, my fam respect that boundary, well most of them anyway.
If my family doesn't like them, then I take that into consideration because maybe im just all sprung on the guy and dont see how shitty he is. Like my sisters are married to shitbags, and we all kept telling them to not marry them, but they did anyways. Its not because of "status" like so many silly boys think, but there are many times when you're so infatuated with someone you overlook their negative features. And yes I know that no one is perfect, but sometimes there's obvious red flags that you either can't see or refuse to see.
I have a guy friend who confided in me that he is in love with a plus sized woman (who I know and she's very nice and loves him back). I suggested that he ask her out, but he said he wouldn't because his friends would make fun of him for "dating a fatty". Guys do it too. Humans in general are very social creatures who care about the opinions of others. I personally think that you're ruling out potentially great partners by judging your friends opinions (not you personally of course just generally speaking).
I'm reminded of Avril Lavigne's song skater boi that came out forever ago lol, which is about that very thing.
Hmm, well what girls say they will do in a theoretical situation and what they do in reality is often two different things. If this was true guys everywhere would be getting dumped when they didn't measure up to the woman's friends expectations, and I don't think that really happens.
when I was in high school my entire group of friends didn't like my boyfriend (they reached that decision because one friend determined he was like her ex boyfriend even though she and my boyfriend never hung out before) they would constantly say really nasty things about him to my face and even when he was around. I just got tired of it and told them to fuck off and stop being bitchy to him for no reason. Never really talked to them agai n but hey, I got married to my boyfriend lol.
Because sometimes when you're in love, you're kinda blind to someone's faults. If your friends and family are telling you straight up that they don't think that person is good, it's not bad to listen to that. My family doesn't like my partner and I had friends that disliked him too and I haven't broken up with him, but I have listened to their criticism so I am aware.
Well women like that are shallow of course... But if they dump a guy just because their friends and family thinks bad about them when in actual there if nothing bad then it's just her loss. .
But it's sad that for women status and money is everything... They will dump any guy for that
Depends on why tthey dont like him. For example my friends and family didn't like my ex because he was making me miserable with his controlling attitude. If they don't like him for a shallow reason, its up to me to decide what to do. As for the affections thing, as long as he doesn't reject my affections I dont care much. :)
Wow that's dif, my opinion on him and how we would operate is our business. It'll be nice if they liked him in many aspects but I mean its my life, especially if he made me happy and isn't a terrible person
Yes, my families opinion matters. I don't have any friends. They want someone who will be healthy for me and my mental health. If they think he is damaging he probably is. They normally don't butt into my business.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It's really disheartening when that happens. I had a girl who I really liked and she really liked me back. But she hesitated to date me because her friends were mocking her about dating a guy as short as me. We didn't end up dating in the end as her friends influenced her decision. It's a shame because we got along so well and she was very nice.
Your friends and family love you and want the best for you. When someone dates you, they become a part of your life and your friends and family are a huge part of that. So yeah, it absolutely matters.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Human beings are highly social animals, like all primates. It's hard coded in our DNA to seek social approval, especially from our families. Men do it as well.
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