Why do people push the person they love or like away?

I have notice this in many relationships, where a person in the relationship pushes his/her partner (who they love/like) away. Why is that? Is it fear of getting hurt? Do they do it as a test, "If its mine it will return if it doesn't return, it was never mine"? Do you think this is logical? Will the person being pushed away come back or will the relationship end because of it?

What are your thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that when it does happen, its because they probably can tell that the relationship isn't going to work out, or they can't see themselves ever going further with that person. If they truly like/loved the other, I don't think there is any valid excuse for pushing the other away, and if the excuse is 'to avoid getting hurt' it kind of defeats the purpose, because the act of pushing them away hurts one, if not both people. And if its a "test"? Well I personally think that a good relationship does not require any tests, just trust ~ just my thoughts


What Guys Said 4

  • I've only ever pushed someone away because I didn't want to get hurt. They made me trust them, I let them in, then they f***ed me up.

    Now I'm the satirical smartass d*** you see today.


  • what do you mean by push away

  • I think it's because of all the reasons you mentioned. Mainly I would say it's the fear of getting hurt. Many foresee the investment of their emotions as a liability, and if the person whom they're investing into doesn't seem reliable, it's wise to withdraw gradually so as to reduce the amount of heartbreak later on. Ideally, we'd like for that person to notice and make some kind of advance or remedy the situation, but if that person is completely oblivious, it only corroborates our original presumption; withdrawal as a defense mechanism.


What Girls Said 2

  • Personally I think they do it to avoid getting hurt, or to test them and see if they put up with it, or come back to them

  • yeah I do it to avoid getting hurt. I like him but he still has feelings for his ex and deep inside we both know it so that's why I push him away so that I won't get hurt. If I push him away and he is not in my heart or whatever, then he can't hurt me.

    stuff like that.