Why girls like mind games so much?

Question

I notice that even from girls that so call themselves "smart" and they don't fall for those games, which in fact they do...

For instance they like guys who for instance approach them seem interested, but then ignore them? Or they guys who keep them guessing when they are going to call them? Or guys who seem aloof and not interested in them? They like guys more when guys make them jealous and etc?

For example I know this girl who is crazy for me but I don't like her, I have all the power to do as much as I please with her and since I don't like her and I know she is on her toes. She even calls me to hangout and asks me to go out.

However this girl who I used to call all time and show that I was interested, she told me I was desperate, what the hell? Or this other girl gave me the cold shoulder and walked away with some other guy on my face.

elliesaur · Accepted Answer

Ok so the first girl likes you a lot but you don't like her. The other one said you're desperate and the third didn't show any interest and hooked up with the guy she did like. How are those examples of mind games? It seems to me they're just being honest about their feelings.

If you need an example of game playing, this is it: " when I showed interest and I chased girls they didn't like me, but when I was aloof like I am with this girl that I don't even like because I honestly don't care if she rejects me or not, she chases me all over the place"

The thing you don't seem to get is girls who don't like you will ignore you, and the ones who do will try to get close to you , unless they're playing games. So a girl that ignores you is either not interested or interested in making you her puppet. Just to make things clear, those are the girls you DON'T want to date.

The girls that show interest are either the girls who genuinely like you or, again, girls playing games. I think the most important thing here is communication, because since some girls are shy or want to take things slow, you might interpret their behavior wrong. I'm sure after some long talks with the girl you can figure out yourself if she's worth your time or not.

ananyme · Accepted Answer

its not really what I call a mind game, and for the sake of your question we are going to assume that all of this isn't simply because you aren't compatible with those two girls but that it is all because they fall into your vicious mind game.

that being said, when someone is immature and isn't serious about a relationship what happens is that they see the other person like a body and a desire, and their focus their energy into winning that desire to prove themelves they are worthy of some interest.

now, that obviously mean that till you get rejection signs you'll try harder just to proove yourself that you can make the person want you, and that you deserve better than a simple no, and on the contrary once they've fallen for you and you know you can have them you don't care about them.

so that's my explanation of why stupid and immature people behave the way you think those girls are.

but I'm pretty sure they aren't that stupid and sometimes in life you don't get to have the ones you want, and you attract th eones you don't want.

and by the way calling a girl all the time can def appear as a desperate attempt to get attention, and I don't recommend you to do so.

candlewax · Accepted Answer

Note, "girl." Grown ups don't like mind games.

curiousmaleaboutvag · Accepted Answer

I understand what you mean even without first reading the other answers to your question.

Let me ask you this, how do YOU feel about this girl that calls you to hang out often? Do you see her in the same light as the way the girls you like but don't like you back see you? "Desperate?" If so, then that should be your answer. If you don't see her as desperate then that means you have a good heart even though you don't like her that way.

To answer your question though, sadly girls like "the chase." They don't like to be overly bombarded with admiration, I know it can be hard especially when you REALLY like a girl but when you give her your all ALL AT ONCE it's kind of like, what else is there then to give? Since nothing else will come as a surprise, so you must give in small doses and yes sometimes play "busy." I don't want to call it hard to get because that's dumb, so busy is better suited for this. Keep in mind though, that each girl will have a DIFFERENT TRESHHOLD TO THE AMOUNT OF ADMIRATION BOMBARDMENT A GUY WILL GIVE HER! So you have to "dose" accordingly, sorry buddy but it's how it goes. I'm sure not all girls are like this though, I'm sure some like being bombarded with attention.

planetearth · Accepted Answer

It sounds like most of these girls just aren't into you. I don't see where your proof is that they even initially liked you? Where is it? Besides the girl that likes you but you are not interested.

Just because a girl is nice to you doesn't mean she wants to date you. I think you're expecting too much from these girls. Just because you make it known you are interested does not mean anything unless she sees some kind of potential with you. Coming off as needy will put you off, so I'd just find a balance between communicating your interest while giving them their space for awhile (I'd say at least 2-3 months) before getting hasty.

toulouse · Answer

What do you mean. she _even_ calls you & asks you to hang out.

thats an entirely normal thing to do. there's nothing extreme about it. how is she on her 'toes'

anyways that girl likes u. the other doesn't. they are not the same girl. it isn't a game, because they both act according to how they truly feel.

if it was the SAME girl, acting both ways, that might be a game. or. she's bi polar.

but those two sound honest. not game oriented.

btw, have you TOLD, girl #1. you don't like her. if not YOURE playing games, not her.

Anonymous · Answer

You're confusing cause and effect.

The girl who likes you, likes you. She doesn't like you more because you're not interested in her. She just likes you. There is a chance she's not as attractive or alluring herself, hence you being disinterested in her.

The girls who don't like you, don't like you. They don't like you less because you're into them, they just aren't into you. There is a chance that they are more attractive or alluring, since you are so interested in them.

The people who make us "desperate" are often more physically and socially attractive than us. The people who we are least interested in are often less physically and socially attractive than us. The people we feel a healthy balance of comfort and attraction towards, are often our equals.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

You're assuming that everything is a game.  There are some guys you like, and some guys you don't like. You're not gonna get excited over guys you find uninteresting and unattractive, and you're gonna get really excited about guys you find sexy and exciting.  All girls aren't the same and don't feel the same way about you.  If a girl says you're desperate because you called her all the time, its because she wasn't interested in you and thought you were desperate for always calling her but not noticing that she didn't put the same amount of effort into speaking to you.  The girl who gave you the cold shoulder and walked away with some other guy liked that guy more than you.  The girl who is crazy for you and asks you out likes you a lot.

Sugar_n_spice · Answer

I can only talk from my perspective:

Sometimes I don't act interested because I am shy/ nervous and just don't do anything.

There have been time where I didn't like the guy per se, but I liked being liked. (yes, I know, but I am human too, okay) and then when he gives up and ignores me, I am like "wait! no, come back! " so I will chase him until he tries again.

Sometimes I am not interested in a guy but I am polite which is misunderstood as being interested.

Sometimes I am not sure what his intentions are so I go off and live my life. I just figure that if he likes me as a person then he will miss me. If he only wanted ass then he wouldn't care. It is a good way to tell.

I mean what you said makes sense, it is human nature to what what we can't have and dismiss what is in front of us. Guys do this too. I have been there and I feel your pain.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think ALL girls are necessarily playing mind games. We just tend to think in different patterns as a rule. I'll tell you, a lot of times I wonder what guys are thinking because their response to what I say or do is a little out of step.

That said, there *are* girls who do play mind games and this is unfortunate for those of us who don't. I do like jigsaw puzzles and crosswords, though, lol.

We don't like what we can have too easily -- that's not a mind game, that's just something that can be gathered even from the short description you've provided. The girl within your reach is someone you don't seem to respect; the girl who won't give you the time of day is the one you want to chase down. Neither is specifically playing mind games. Rather, you should be more in tune to who you attract and who attracts you.

emmabee11 · Answer

It's human nature man... we want what we can't have, like for me I like this guy lives a lot further away and because I can't have him I want him, I so want to have a go of him for sure :P lol but yeh... if I could have him that easy I wouldn't really be that interested. It's just all about making people earn your trust, if they see you don't give yourself to others that easy and respect yourself and know that you deserve the best then obviously they are going to come running. Only settle for a girl who is worth giving up your free time for, not someone who doesn't know what they want who is not interested one min then is the next, what would happen next if after say... a month you then decided to show your interest again? I bet anything she would just go back to the cold sholder again. Find someone who treats others seriously not as someone they can just kick around for the fun of it.

animalwithin · Answer

Women are emotional creatures, they want a man who will strike them emotionally and make them feel great feelings. Desperate, needy guys who chase women and make women the center of their lives don't make women feel these emotions, one explanation for your chase and no chase attraction question.

As for the mind games, immature girls play mind games, immature people in general play mind games. Just because women like captivating men doesn't mean they manipulate other guys they aren't interested in.

gemglam · Answer

I don't think girls like mind games any more than guys do. She just changed her mind about you. Sometimes a person think they like someone and on closer observation they find that they dont. That's life. If however you find that the same thing keeps happening to you over and over, then I suggest stepping back and examining something you might be doing that is off-putting to women. Good luck

dx021 · Answer

because girls like to get swept away in their emotions, so its up to you to create a narrative through little mind games, a build up of tension and drama.

human emotion isn't really substantial enough on its own to transcend such things, so gotta go with what works bro

aliciaxx · Answer

"I bet if I started being straight up with her about my feelings she would scram away from me."

She's chasing you because you haven't told her straight up how you feel, and you let her chase you knowing you don't like her. Doesn't that mean YOU are playing games with HER?

To answer your question, some people are less mature than other people, and you can tell the difference when they start playing games.

Anonymous · Answer

We all love to play games, guys and girls. We're made that way and you can blame Eve for it (joking). Genesis taught us that, human are curious creatures, we like puzzles. Reading your OP, I see that you were playing games as well. By toying with the girl who likes you while being "dump" by the one you like.

Also I really don't see it as mind game, I see it as being desperate by wanting something. She likes you for whatever reasons and are clingy. The other girl have no interest in you so when you call her too much it's clingy and annoying. I see it as the fact of life. Let say you like Orange Juice but your mom keeps forcing you to drink milk, ofc it'll bother you and you find it annoying soon enough.

@ your last update, you sure you're not mistaken mate? We tend to think differently then what girls intend and vice versa.

Anonymous · Answer

Karma is a bitch. You mess with girls that are interested in you but you don't like them then the girls you interested in will just mess around with you when they aren't interested in you.

You shouldn't mess around with girls feelings.

Truth is, No body likes mind games (including you)

You need to have your eyes wide open, Some girls want you for fun and others want you for the good reasons. You just have to figure them out.

bassman · Answer

Its ALL about being a Challenge. Remember this... The person you cares the LEAST, has the MOST power.

fbubbles · Answer

those other girls didn't seem interested in you so I don't think they were playing mind games at all !

its obvious they don't really know you or like you as much as the other girl who does, you guys must be close then aye since you don't really want to hurt her.

i don't know, for the girls who do play mind games, its really interesting how far guys would still go for them, I suggest you move on itll hurt them I guess

i hope this helps :)

cherrycola8795 · Answer

because its all about the thrill of the chase and you always want what you can't have. If you truly like someone for their personality then the games aren't nessesary but if its for looks alone or some other reason that I can't even think of then the games are what makes getting the person fun and once you get them you no longer want them. my source would be a plethora of personal experience

1diamond · Answer

I do not like mind games. I have to say I can be damn good at them if I want to be but I don't. I think it's just a way to waste your life and be false because that person lacks confidence in certain ways. I find it childish. I will also say that after a short amount of time no matter how much I like a guy if they play mind games I lose interest.

upood · Answer

you just asked and answered your own question. Put yourself in the shoes of the girl who likes you and that's you right now. Other times you are the one messing with her, which is what us girls do to you.

themastaplan · Answer

youre just surrounding yourself with immature women... find an older girl who knows what she wants

MrNameless · Answer

I don't know about your interactions with women, as nearly as you do.. If you called that one girl so much, and  didn't give her the space, in her eyes--that made you look clingy/desperate.

drummerdude25 · Answer

They like the attention or they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings... or both. So they avoid confrontation altogether, (which is a terrible way of handling the situation).

Why girls like mind games so much?

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