Do you think so many guys prefer "shy/quiet girls" nowadays because they think they are easier to get and keep

Question

NOTE: guys and girls are welcome to answer this question.

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I have noticed many guys in real life (not just guys on GaG) tend to go for more introverted girls vs. "extroverted" girls.

Extroverted as in highly sociable, outspoken, and overall radiating more "social self-confidence" in terms of appearance and self-assurance for the world to see.

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My theory about this is that these guys that prefer the more shy/quiet, introverted girls...

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...is that these guys find them "easier targets" than girls that are more sociable, bold, and have a stronger aura of self-confidence in their appearance and themselves in general.

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The idea of "easier target" can be viewed different ways, including:

1) less "intimidation" to initially approach (however you define this)

2) presumption of lower self-confidence in introverted girls = she'll have lower standards

3) introverted nature = easier to "control" in a dating/relationship scenario

4) the lower level of "social self-confidence" of the shy/quiet girl = she is going to attract less "male competitors" than the more extroverted females

5) etc. [any factors that I may have overlooked]

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My question to you is; do you believe that my theory in the question is true for the majority (as in more than 50%) of the guys that prefer more "shy/quiet" girls over extroverted ones?

Feel free to refer to the numerical points in my answer by their respective number in your answer.

Thanks for your input. 8-)

VoiceOfReason · Accepted Answer

When I was dating I found it harder to approach shy women because of the fact that it's harder to read the introvert than the extrovert. I think in reality many guys tend to gravitate towards women that best suits their comfort zone. There are few who are bold enough to venture out, but those aren't your mainstream guys.

In terms of intimidating, perhaps the shy woman that turns down advances might do it more quietly and one on one where as the more social female may be more expressive and out in the open when turning a guy down.

Control could be an issue with some guys as they may not feel as threatened by her as her shyness may prevent her from actively seeking a perspective mate. The guys that seek the shy female may be doing so just to make sure they maintain that control. Perhaps the guy may be the one who has the esteem and confidence issues resulting from trust issues from previous relationships.

Shyness doesn't necessarily mean lower standards, just maybe her social skills doesn't allow her to be as openly expressive as to what her standards are. Just because she's shy doesn't always equate to lower esteem, just lower confidence when interacting with others which can be due to the lack of social skills as she may be happy with her own self image.

Quiet or shy women can be and sometimes are the most expressive sexually when they are in a relationship as they are comfortable with who they are and once they are with someone they may be comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings and emotions as well as desires.

Always bear in mind that individuals personalities may vary and there is no set protocol for the behavior of shy women as their behavior as individual as the people themselves.

abzence · Accepted Answer

I need to point out that being introverted is not the same as being shy or not social. Here is a good description of introversion: link

I think introverted people can be seen as less maintenance and less drama than an extroverted.

If you generalise I believe that an introverted person can actually be harder to control since they usually have a stronger sense of self and will not as easily be affected by external stimuli and group dynamics as an extrovert can be.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I disagree. I'm introverted, and I see guys both go for and like the extroverted, flirty, bubbly type of girl. These girls are much easier to approach than me. They show their interest in a guy. For me, when I like I guy, I'm too self-conscious and afraid of rejection to show him I'm interested. Guys aren't magical creatures who can read my mind, and I feel they would like it if a girl was clear about her interest in them.

Also, a lot of the time, because I'm shy, guys don't take the time to get to know me! I can be really outgoing around people I know, but if people don't take the time to get to know me they'll never see that side of me. They probably think that my shy side is all there is too me, and that I'm boring, or "quiet" or mousy or something.

Shy girls are definitely easier to keep, but to get not really. An outgoing, flirty girl would be much easier, and a lot of the time I think guys are afraid of rejection too and they're not going to show their interest in a shy girl who is too afraid to show their interest in them. They would rather have the girl that is upfront about her interest and makes the guy feel special.

Shyglittergirl · Accepted Answer

1) About this one, I work with a wise old male collegue...anyway, he told me once something that I'll never forget, that guys go for girls who they think are not way up there (good for them) because then there out of their league. They go apparantly for someone who they percieve to be in the league below them.

I would agree with you, but then there are loads of girls at my college who're in relationships, and you think they're introverted as they act all quiet, sweet and innocent in class, but then photos will appear on Facebook or whatever of them getting drunk.

I'm more introverted than extraverted myself, and although I do agree that guys prefer introverted girls, its harder for them to ask these kind of girls out, so its rare.

4) I don't agree with this point-whether you're a guy or a girl, a little confidence is key, and if she/he has no confidence, I really don't think that they'd get a girl/boy friend.

3) I know one couple like this, and I think it's disgusting to date someone because of this.

ya_ya_ask_already · Accepted Answer

Not true. I feel like the more outgoing, cute, and flirty girls get boyfriends.

neo4evr · Answer

Shy and quiet girls are so mysterious... they also never act, they are always real and natural. Understanding, caring, and definitely don't have any complicated history.

We guys, in the end, need girls who are simple, understanding, give us strength mentally, and nurturing. Shy and quiet girls are mostly like that.

Extroverted girls are good for fun, but not good for getting into a relationship. They need to be tamed first. Otherwise the relationship will be unstable. Just like with extroverted guys...

However there are guys who likes challenge and go for extroverted girls. I don't. I like shy and quiet girls a lot :)

udolipixie · Answer

Do you think so many guys prefer "shy/quiet girls" nowadays because they think they are easier to get and keep?

I think that's partly the reason as guys seem to prefer what's easy to get and keep. The others:

- guys seem solely interested in gals sexually considering it bothersome/burdensome and even being used as an emotional tampon to talk with a gal so a quiet gal would mean less talking from her.

- guys seem to have this fear that gals are always looking for an upgrade so a shy gal would be less inclined to meet guys thus having no to little options to upgrade

My question to you is; do you believe that my theory in the question is true for the majority (as in more than 50%) of the guys that prefer more "shy/quiet" girls over extroverted ones?

Yes

Charazal · Answer

I think the majority of guys don't necessarily care whether the woman is introverted or extroverted and care more about the individual woman's unique characteristics to go with their own likes and dislikes. Just because a woman is introverted doesn't mean she has low self-confidence, that she is easier to control or even that she is going to attract less "male competitors". Introverted women can be just as attractive as extroverted women and have many competitors vying for her affection.

LuisH · Answer

I like those shy girls you say, because I'm not really outgoing myself. And "shy girls" aren't necessarily easier. I've met a few of those girls who were actually a real challenge (I like that type of challenges).

Plus, I find it easier to trust in those girls.

Olivia9 · Answer

I think it depends I think weak men like girls that appear weak and quiet or submissive because they seem easier to control and more docile. While guys that are more secure will go for more exuberant types that will tell them where to go and keep them in check as well. It always seems that there is a dom and a sub in every relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Some people are more dominate than others. My personality is fairly submissive. I find dominate women like to treat me like a doormat. So I purposely look for a submissive woman, so that we can have more of an equal relationship with her.

Some might argue that I should become more dominate, but it holds no appeal to me. I hate fighting and don't want all that chaos and screaming that come with two dominate people fighting for control of each other.

Racez · Answer

You pretty much hit the major points with precision.

That's really true for the majority.

Basing from my experience and from that of the guys in my social circle, this really is what's happening in our reality.

Anonymous · Answer

I voted that I disagree with this statement, mainly because I'm introverted myself and that seems to drive guys away (unless they too, are introverted) while my friends who are far more outgoing and natural flirts get way more male attention and therefore have been in more relationships (some of which were/are very long-term).

I really wish I knew guys who weren't constantly complaining about how quiet I am. Of course, in the right setting I'm down right loud and crazy, but they never see me that way. Why? They write me off before getting to know me better! However, I've been told I come off as cold and intimidating and that many guys take my awkwardness as a sign I'm not interested.

Yellowsmurf · Answer

I think you're right to an extent. My reason to prefer shy girls is that I just don't enjoy being in large groups and much prefer a one to one or a very small closed group scenario, which shy girls often have in common so I guess it somewhat plays with your 3) and 4), though it isn't the exact reason you state.

You're probably spot on for a lot of guys but I doubt it's over 50% so I voted B.

AlexNAVY · Answer

Cannot agree with you on that one. I don't see anything difference between today's man-woman relationships and back then. Shy girls are overrated and it's not necessarily something positive.

stupidstupidme · Answer

If guys preferred shy/quiet girls, then my entire teenage was a lie. Guys like girls with a great personality or open legs. At least that's what my life experiences have taught me.

obligations · Answer

i think men like confident and outgoing women...even if those women are bitches...they still like them better.

Anonymous · Answer

Outgoing girls are easier to talk to cause they carry the conversation. Shy girls are much more difficult to deal with.

UberTroll · Answer

Nah, I think guys just tend to like girls who are like that rather than obnoxious drama queens.

BackAgain · Answer

no the loud feisty ones are always taken compared to the shy girls

stillagoodgirl · Answer

Not true, guys think we're boring or hard to get close to like pulling teeth when you try to get to know us

freewill10 · Answer

shy girls- less problems, outgoing girls more of a challenge.

MakeLoveNotWar · Answer

Yeah, it's true. But just remember that every girl is different. Introverted girls can be huge sluts while extroverted ones can be loyal too. It depends on the person.

RedSmartie · Answer

I doubt it.  Shy girls are harder to chase so I doubt guys would bother with them.

asianfreak · Answer

I don't mind a girl being quiet and shy once in a while, I just don't want her to always be quiet and shy.

Do you think so many guys prefer "shy/quiet girls" nowadays because they think they are easier to get and keep

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