Why do girls use guys for attention when they already have a guy they're romantically interested in?

[cocorambo]

Seriously, why do women want a guy's attention when they are already romantically interested in another guy? What's the need for them to so desperately want to have attractive guy friends?

This happened with three girls.

They constantly text with me and want me to hang out with them. All 3 send me seductive photos of themselves. One sends me snapchats of her b00bs and panties before going to bed, but asks me for advice about a guy she's trying super hard to date

Whenever we go out and I try and flirt with them, they suppress my advances. Then when I'm home, they start the texting and luring again.

When I finally chat to them for some clarity, they tell me that they find me attractive, but they just want to be friends. That they have another guy they really wish they were in a relationship with, but things are unsteady or uncertain and they don't know what will happen. They then go on to say that "I don't want to hurt you".

TBH..I just want to have casual sex with them! They friggin planted those thoughts into me but then tell me I'm not what they're after? WTF?

Guys..how do you handle this situation?

I might have handled it poorly by telling them that I will never see them in a romantic context again and that we can only be friends, and then I cut back my communication with them.

After confronting one of them who wanted me to be her friend, I told her "Sorry, but I'm not the nice guy you are after. While I trust you, let's not waste each others' time".

I don't care if she thinks I'm a jerk..I'm just making my intentions and feelings clear ASAP.

[mutualoblivion]

getting friend zoned sucks more than getting rejected. sounds like your having problems getting your needs met. you should study kino. kino is when you are hanging out with a girl and you do small things like put your hand in the small of her back. or touch her arm for only a second. you can escalate from there. sounds like your spending a lot of time talking with these woman. because your talking with them in a friendly way, they are friendzoning you. its called a shit test. you need to have less talk with them and more touching. if a girl sends you cool pictures, and then wants to talk about another guy, its a shit test. she is begging you to escalate the situation. if you do not escalate with women quickly, then you are put in the friendzone never to see the light of day. make faster moves from the beggining, if they don't want your advances then fine, but don't end up in the friend zone.

[Anonymous]

All too many girls just really, really, really, really, really, really love attention. Generally called attention wh***-s

But heck, you are at least more decent than me, you at least cut back communication with them - whereas I slash it completely; eg I never ever contact them again and don't pick up the phone nor text message them back

This has happened so frequently to me that whenever I find out they have a boyfriend I just cut the ties completely

[laramills23]

I'm not a guy but I honestly think you should stop doing that with these girls. They're just using you and feeding off your compliments to boost their own self esteem, which is wrong. They're just luring you along because, obviously, you give them good advice. So they send you slutty little pics as a reward kinda thing and to subconsciously encourage you to help them out when they need it.

Honestly, these girls are no good. I just can't stand people who go on like this. But tell them it's got to stop and you're sick of them using you.

My best friend is exactly this kinda girl, she HAS a boyfriend. But yet she craves other male attention. She strung one of guy friends along for MONTHS while she stuck with her boyfriend. And although she acted oblivious to what she was doing she knew fine well. She completely ripped our guy friend to pieces with her behaviour. I detest it.

[M_A_X]

You and me both, sister.

[cocorambo]

I'm glad to know that there are sensible girls like you around. Those insecure, unhappy girls really need to put their sexual/materialistic desires aside and dump the guy they're with if they're not happy and stop using other men..they're just exploiters..they exploit their boyfriends, friends, and more importantly, themselves.

[laramills23]

Glad @M A X :)

and thank you :) there definitely are, they're just harder to come by! They really do, it's so unfair on the guys they do this to, getting their hopes up then just using them. They exploit everything, and nobody wants a needy girl in the end. But yeah, find a girl who appreciates you, there will be a gem out there somewhere just waiting to be discovered!

[Anonymous]

Not all girls are like this. But yes, some are. It's because they want constant validation from everyone, not just you. Maybe you should try to find some other girls who aren't into playing mind games like those girls are.

I could basically ask you this as well: why do SOME guys still want to have sex with other girls even though they're already involved with someone else? Because sex feels good (and because they're douche bags). Attention also feels good to some girls (who are also stupid).

[cocorambo]

The problem is, this is the wrong century for decent people. It's turned me off from being decent and makes me want to be an a-hole to girls (i.e. just looking at them as pieces of meat)..it's because it's hard to find a girl out there who has any respect for a caring, empathetic guy. Why waste my time or hers? Just be an a-hole, have fun, and hate each others guts after that.

Psshh yeh right, we know we're better than that right? Or are we? who knows!

[Opinion Owner]

This "attention-whoring" as some people would call it really just stems from lack of self-esteem. You can't really blame them for that, what with the media (and other girls) shoving shit down our throat on a daily basis. Treating others as if you are an asshole will only make you feel worse. Spreading negativity only breeds more negativity. Why do you think bullies keep bullying? Because they are unable to fill the void inside of them with more negativity. So I'd advise you not to be an asshole.

[M_A_X]

You can't completely blame them for it, but then again, you have to at least be able to blame them for it a little bit. They are still the ones behind the wheel, after all :P

Plus, as an Aspie, I've probably spent more time by myself than anyone most of you have met. Being alone is a catalyst for growing as a person, and it's an important phase for maturing. People need to stop giving them attention. Don't you guys remember what happens when you give a mouse a cookie or feed the trolls?

[Billlewis]

I think a lot of times, women enjoy the attention and ego boost it provides, and I love it when a beautiful woman who has a boyfriend drives me crazy and makes me pay attention to her.

[Anonymous]

them girls are retarded, and don't respect themselves or you, id get far away from them ASAP

[SoloYo]

I think you're hanging out with the wrong type of girl..

[dodgypirate]

Not all girls are like that. The one's who are just careless attention whores.