Self Love, Self Worth, Self Acceptance: Love Your Body & Stop Shaming People!

Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you...”
― C. JoyBell C.

Sure, this topic has been done time and time again, but it's an ongoing relevant problem in our society today and it should never cease being addressed until the problem is eliminated.

Here's MyTake on:


SELF LOVE, SELF WORTH, SELF ACCEPTANCE: Love Your Body & Stop Shaming People!

Whether it may be obvious to you or not, we live in society dominated by standards of beauty and everything else. People constanly judge each other and expect others to conform themselves to what is appealing to them. If you're one of those people who constantly feel the need to ridicule others because of what they look like, you're in for a rude awakening because the world doesn't revolve around you.


What compelled me to create this myTake was not only the distasteful mindset of society but most recently compelling, the responses to the Lane Bryant lingerie/underwear promotion video. Some of those responses which may even be yours were completely appaling and distasteful. I'm here to challenge all of you who may not accept yourself, thrust hate upon others, or just can't accept others to BE A BETTER PERSON and change your mentality. We should love ourselves and each other, and let people know that THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL no matter what they look like. Beauty isn't just about whether someone meets your standards of attraction. It's about the outside reflecting who you are on the inside. It doesn't matter how many people are attracted you, if you're ugly on the inside, you're ugly!



Being "Fat" or "Overweight" doesn't neccesarily equal unhealthy.

Being "Too Skinny" or "Underweight" doesn't neccesarily equal unhealthy.

Being "Slim" or "Slender" doesn't neccesarily equal healthy either.

I was underweight most of my life yet I ate a ton of food. Even though I was super skinny, I surely wasn't fit. The only reason I gained weight was from exercising. I've known people that are considered overweight that eat healthy diets and exercise regularly yet they're seen as "unhealthy" just because they're bigger and unnatractive in other's standards of beauty.

My point is that I guarantee you that some of the women (or men) you deem "unhealthy" because they aren't appealing to your eyes are a lot fitter then some of the attractive "healthy" people. I'm not bashing smaller people here either. I'm just saying that humans come in all shapes and sizes that don't necessarily determine their health status, so please excuse your ridicule because of something not being visibly attractive to you!

If you have a preference for skinny or more slender girls then that's fine, if you have a prefference for thicker girls, then that's fine, but to say a woman (or man) looks disgusting and is obviously unheathy just because she (or he) is bigger or smaller than what is appealing to your eyes is atrociously shameful, extremely distasteful and indecorous !

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You should never shame anyone regardless of how they look because they are confident in their own skin.

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Body acceptance is not about glorifying obesity. It's about fucking loving your body at whatever size you are at.

― Mary Lambert

what? (⊙.⊙(☉̃ₒ☉)⊙.⊙) really?


A person being confident or content with who they are does not mean that they can't or don't want to "better" themselves; it means that, unlike the person slandering them, they know that despite their flaws, they are a beautiful human being and can still love themselves and live in their own skin despite what haters think or say while working towards being the best person they can be (which doesn't involve pleasing society's shallow standards).

Disrespectful remarks aren't promoting "good health"; they are promoting self hate amongst people who don't fit your standards.


Someone out there is looking for exactly what you've got and will never try and undercut your value or question your worth. Some things in life just can’t be bartered over or placed on the sale rack - and your self worth

is at the top of the list ― Mandy Hale

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People are always using fashion models and VS models specifically to tell people what a "healthy" or "average" woman should look like or that to be attractive or beautiful you need to look like them. First off, these women are not selling their bodies. Plus size models are not promoting obesity, being unhealthy, or "doing a disservice to big people". They are models for a reason, just like VS models. They are here to promote clothing/lingerie. Not everyone woman is super slim; we come in all shapes in sizes, so there should be models in all shapes and sizes for brands trying to sell their clothes. Ladies, love yourself and do you. Don't feel intimidated because you're "not skinny enough" or "not thick or curvy enough". A man or an industry does not define your value. (Same goes for guys: you don't have to have a six pack or be super tall to be accepted. If you want to improve yourself for you and/or ask for opinions then that's fine).


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You are stressing those people out with your harsh words and making them uncomfortable with themselves. Just incase you didn't know, stress causes an increase in excess fats deposits. If you're so worried about a person being fat, stop sending them hate and making them fat! #JustSaying

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍 👍(≖‿‿≖👍)

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Like I stated before, skinny doesn't equal healthy and fat isn't equal to unhealthy. A person can eat the perfect diet described by dietitions and work out reguarly yet still look or be considered "overweight" and "fat" by society. The same goes for a person who could have a horrible diet and never work, being extremely unhealthy might be seen as "good skinny" or "healthy" just because he/she is slim when really, genetics just happened to work in their favor.

It's time we stop trying to be skinny or have curves in all the right places to please someone else, and start trying to be healthy by eating the best we can and being active when we can!

By choosing healthy over skinny you are choosing self-love over self-judgment. You are beautiful!”
― Steve Maraboli

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Happiness is something most of us desire. You can never truly be happy if you don't love yourself.


Eating like you love yourself means EATING ENOUGH and eating things that will benefit your body and make you glow inside and out! This doesn't mean you can't have your cheats and load up on sweets or guilty pleasures everynow and then but for the majority, put good things in your body. You wouldn't want your body to turn on you, would you? Be good to your body and it'll be good back to you. Forget about the scale and how much fat you have; your body will handle it when yo focus on being healthy!

Move like you love yourself means don't be lazy all the time. Get up and move! Do something productive and don't be sluggish or hesistant about it.

Speak like you love your self means to speak positively. Don't constantly put yourself down or put others down. Saying rude things to others just makes it apparent that you're uncomforable in your own skin and need to bring someone else down to make yourself feel good. Also, when you tell yourself positive things whether you believe it or not, you actually soak it up and start believing it, just like how people who hear negative comments constantly eventually start to believe them.

Act like you love yourself means to do things that help you and others rather than hinders you. Don't cut yourself! What did your body ever do to you? It never called you fat so don't starve and hurt it. When you act positively, positive things tend to radiate towards you and your life.

ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ LOVE YOURSELF! ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

• • • • •


If someone can't accept you for being content with who you are, they aren't worth your time anyway.

NOTE: I'm not saying that if someone suggests you change yourself lifestyle because they truly are concerned about yourself then you should just cut them out because there are cases when people are at risk and do need to lose weight. I'm just saying that you shouldn't change yourself just because someone doesn't deem you attractive or labels you unhealthy because you may have more fat than them.

“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim "You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself" made clear sense. And I add, "Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”
― Bell Hooks


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Thanks for reading myTake!



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kxera is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Guys Said 26

  • i 'body-shame' my underweight kid sister bc i don't want her to get some awful disease bc she didn't eat as a teen. she needs to put on a little weight, for her health.

    we also 'body shame' obese people bc gluttony is a sin, gross, costs society, costs billions in extra healthcare, and reduces thr dupply of bangable women with too many whales.

    • If you're only looking for a bang , you don't deserve bangable women. Lust is a sin too so stop with your religious crap. And you're not helping your sister at all. She most likely will be fine without your comments which would only lead to her cutting and and feeling shitty about herself. If your sister is underweight then it's probably do to genetics so you really aren't doing anything but bully her. If she has an eating disorder, you definitely aren't doing shit but making things worse.

    • Show All
    • Won't be able to because of schedule and summer plans** @Laura1995

    • Ohhhh I see. Maybe you can try a part-time job after you go back to school?

  • That's all wonderful, but the fat chicks are causing global warming by absorbing so much infrared radiation.

  • Obese people really need a healthier diet, and overly skinny girls need an actual diet rather than some corn flakes and 10 grams of yoghurt, but otherwise yes, I agree.

    • If you read, I said people should focus on being healthy but a lot of super skinny people have genetics working in their favor.

  • great read and i can see the value of women of all kinds and all are beautiful in their own way but just bc a guy makes a decision to pursue a woman that meets his physical standards is by no means demeaning or devaluing the other women and I have met a lot of people that think that way. Just because i guy says a woman is beautiful that isn't his dating type should not be obligated to date that woman to back up any compliments said

    • Thanks! I'm glad you liked it, but this is for men too, not just women. I was aiming towards all people not just women. Men often don't get noticed when it comes to self acceptance.

  • "Your value doesn't decrease based on others' inability to see your worth"

    False. That's literally the definition of low value.

    Some people are more valuable than others because they're smarter, better looking, more athletic, taller, have better eyesight, etc. It's genetic. Deal with it.

  • We can talk about this all day but it doesn't change the obesity rate.

  • It was only through ignoring writings like this that I was able to improve. You may be right about underweight/overweight people not necessarily being more unhealthy than a slim person, or slim people not necessarily being more healthy, but being over/underweight is unhealthy in comparison to being at your ideal weight.
    that we're all built differently is a cop out, you either have too much fat/too little fat or you don't, and apart from. a few rare cases it's usually dues to bad diet and exercise. You say you ate a lot and were still underweight but you probably over-estimate the amount you were eating.

    As for "we're all beautiful", no we're not. You say beauty is showing what's on the inside, well you're partly right - what's inside me is good food, exercised muscle and low bodyfat. I don't just accept that either, I'm continually improving myself.

  • I read this and I still want to look good

  • Being over weight actually DOES mean unhealthy. It literally means being OVER the HEALTHY weight for your height. So being over weight can't still be healthy, it's an oxymoron.

    • Actually, you can be overweight and healthy. My mom is a nurse and she told me she's had several overweight patients who had health screenings and were in great health. She also used to work with a 400lb guy and his blood pressure was LOW and his doctor declared him healthy as well.

      Obviously, being overweight puts you at a higher RISK for health problems but that doesn't mean you're automatically unhealthy.

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    • The Take Owner is right. There's going to be at least one or more people that have to say "being underweight/overweight is unhealthy." I don't listen to people like this because unless they're a doctor, they cannot dictate if you're healthy or unhealthy.
      I'm overweight. But my blood pressure is normal, I don't have any cancers, I exercise, eat healthy (for the most part), and have good levels of Vitamin D, Potassium, etc. My heart is very healthy and strong as well.

      As long as your are doing the right things to take care of your health, then it shouldn't matter how much you weigh (if you weight 400 lbs, then that's a problem, or weight under 133 lbs).

      It's kind of annoying when people assume a bigger person eats too much and doesn't exercise. I may be overweight, but that's not true for me. I care about my health.
      It's also annoying when someone assumes a very skinny person starves themselves and exercise too much. Not true. The stereotypes need to stop!!

    • Being overweight is not healthy regardless of how you want to justify it... being 20 means your excess in weight has not yet taken the toll on your body that it will as you get older.
      Overweight people are more likely to get MANY different healthy issues, this is a studied and provable fact.
      So regardless of how you make yourself believe it can be healthy, it isn't.

  • no man is handsome if he doesn't have muscles and money. i don't like girls very much yet I'm not gay. too bad... i pity the girl who falls for me if she actually exists

  • It's good to except yourself and your body for how you are, but don't expect me to accept you Romantically, especially if you refuse to improve.

  • If you don't love yourself how do you expect anyone else to love you so much more than love love's it self.
    we're all beautiful in our own way and everyone is good at something.

  • Really nice take!

  • It's ok to be a little pudgy.

    It's not ok for you if you end up being ill often, take meds, and often suffer other injury which is likely all due to being overweight.

    Don't shed the weight to please others. Shed the weight because you don't want to die early and live a life full of health problems.

  • Ill fat shame till the day i die

    • you can work on this, why don't you? It's easier than gaining weight for sure.

      Just make a plan and do it! (Less junk funk, no sugar etc..)

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    • @fuuuark Obvious troll is obvious.

    • I promise i am sincere in what i say @Cincinnatiredsfan

  • Great take but one doubt why girls are in bikini but guys are nude.

    • I couldn't find a cartoon picture with guys of different sizes. All of the other pictures I found of guys had them near the same size; I really wanted to include diversity in male size.

  • you worked really hard on this is see. but dont worry i scrolled over the pictures slower than usual.

    • Yea, I spent a good amount of time on it. Thanks lol.

  • Well said love this one

  • One of the most beautifully written myTake.

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What Girls Said 24

  • Very well written! Great points and overall beautiful message. Thanks for writing this!

  • Nice myTake!
    I agree that people should love themselves the way they are.
    I know a super slim person, who eats the most of the people I know, but doesn't gain weight. All her family members look so slim. People every time tell her to eat more and she gets pissed off. I understand her.

    Anyway, our society is never going to change and blamepeople for their body.
    But I really don't know if being overweight is healthy, because I have read so many times that it isn't. Anyway nice myTake.

    • That literally used to be me! I started weight lifting and running a lot and that made me gain like 20 lbs over two years. Society can change; sure, there will always be the cruel people but you should never stop trying to decrease suck one person at a time.

    • Thank you for reading!

    • @Jannet21
      It's only a problem when you suffer from diseases like heart disease, diabetes, etc.
      If you're overweight but work out, eat right, and exercise, then it shouldn't be a problem.

  • This take was wonderful. :') It made me feel better about myself. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Thanks but there are people who are too backwards to see their self worth and make the most of it. I admire your optimism.

    • Thanks for reading! Yeah, I've always been an optimist.

  • This just made my day thank you very much for posting this!

  • Besides the trolls, this post is fantastic. I'm 5'2 and it says online that being 164 is obese even though I don't look fat. There can never be enough of these! :) thanks for doing this!

    • Thanks for reading!

    • I wouldn't believe everything you read online. I'm 5'6, 185 lbs and it says I'm overweight and almost obese. Gotta take it with a grain of salt. I'm sure you're a very attractive girl. The internet should never discourage you from anything :)

    • @Botchie exactly!!! And thank you! 😄 haha the mirror is your best friend.

  • All I can say is thank you for sending out such a positive and honest message. We do all need to love/accept ourselves and stop tearing one another down just because we don't fit the image of media.

    This is the best MyTake I've read before and honestly I don't think there will ever be one that can match it. Thanks for contributing your time and words of wisdom.

  • Thank you so much for this take even though a lot of people are missing the point judging by the comments so I assume these are the ones that have body shamed and will continue to do so and it is sad.

    • You're welcome and thank you so much for reading!! Yeah, a lot of people are. Like I'm not saying to just be satisfied and love being overweight for people to judge, but some people just want everyone to be slim.

  • Diversity is not ugly. Flaws are ugly.
    Fat leads to shorter life, worse health and immunity, worse offspring and less physical capacity and mobility. It indicates Gluttony.
    When we find something ugly, it's not JUST because we don't like the look of it. We don't like the look of it because it represents disorder in a person's life. It's real time manifestation of natural selection and social harmonization.

    People as a majority reject, ignore, condemn and punish disorderly behavior in order to correct it and lead to a better society. Shaming (social pressure) is a useful tool that shaped our species' behavior in order for everyone to live in a better community and thrive. Shaming can be misdirected and shame AWAY from what is functional if an accepted standard is lacking, but our instinctive need for it (when we just naturally go: eww) is rarely wrong.

    You say to love your body. Who would make someone they loved gross to other people, make them live less and sweat more?

    • Personality flaws I mean... Or "sins".

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    • @CincinnatiRedsfan
      Hahahahahaha! This is a "I'll wiggle my finger in your face and quickly walk away" posts! xD

      You're like a fucking "sassy black woman" meme! And you're claiming I'M the one lying about my gender. This is the most female post I've seen thus far... xD

    • @inamorata
      Are you an idiotic buffoon? I say this I would rather have a happy short life than a miserable long life satisfying people who don't even care about how I feel... so yeah I may be what you may consider not the ideal but I'm only here to make the best with my life
      ... I'm here to be happy.. for myself...

  • This is such an important message thank you for sharing your inner beauty with all of us we (well I) differently respect you so much for this! We shouldn't judge people because you should treat others with respect and it quite frankly isn't your business what anyone else is doing or not doing, the only person you need to worry about is yourself. It is important that we love ourselfs and others even if we dont get along with others just treat people with respect there are a lot of horrible people in this world but we can change that if one person started changing that can cause more people to change and it will go on and on in till we all change for the better. Live your life with out judgement, hate, discrimination, jealously. Because you will feel amazing when you do :)

  • "If you're so worried about a person being fat, stop sending them hate and making them fat! #JustSaying"

    THANK YOU!!! Those kinds of people are so toxic and should just be gag and bound in a basement somewhere, so they can't hurt anyone. Because words hurt. Often even more than knives.

    • While agree with you for not putting down a person for being fat, we should also encourage them to be in better shape. It will help them feel better and live longer. Like you said, hate is very toxic and unproductive, but we also can't leave them be. We just need to be more supportive of each other as a society rather than everything being a competition and be about shaming others.

    • @Botchie: who are you to meddle in stranger's lives? Unless that overweight person is someone you love, it's none of your business how healthy they are, as long as they're not like saying to your kids that being fat is good... It's mean and insensitive retorts from strangers who know nothing about your pain and struggles, that hurt the most. Let he who is without fault throw the first stone. Everyone should just quit acting hollier tham thou and shut their fucking traps bevause they're no saints either

    • I'm sorry. I thought the implication was that it was someone that I love. I never say negative things to strangers. My apologies. I'm a person of encouragement, not shaming.

  • awww this post is really nice and touchy, i think that we all need it <3 <3 <3

  • I think we need to be a lot kinder to each other and to ourselves - and more realistic about things that matter. Health is important and I consider being overweight a bad thing because it's terrible for you (I need to be a but healthier myself), but it doesn't make a *person* disgusting. This society is so wrapped up in physical appearance that it attempts to place a value on people based on their looks and "sexual value" first and foremost. That to me is disgusting.

    • I absolutely agree. Some people still think I'm trying to promote obesity.

    • People really surprise me with their ignorance sometimes. :/

      I literally just put this opinion on my profile, that's how strongly I feel about it.

  • Thank you so much for posting this. I have been feeling down on myself for months. I went from a size 4,120 lbs to a size 8 158 lbs in a matter of months. My health isn't the greatest and it always gets me down. All my medications I'm on bugs me. I'm only 22and already facing back injury and pain, my neck is already messed up, rheumatoid arthritis, and too top it off I have a condition called Autonomic Neuropathy that effects my heart. 20 pills a day, and just down right depressed on myself. I hate the way I look it went all too my butt and hips. But this was right no matter what size you are you are beautiful. And only you can make that effort to change if you really want it and I do. So thank you again for sharing this post it really helped me out.

    • Awe (: I really appreciate you reading my take, and I'm so happy I could help! It really pains me that I can't be of help with your medical problems, but please no matter how many times you hear this, try to stay positive with the situation. Just know that you'll triumph through all your conditions; don't let them hold you back from working towards being the best and healthiest person you can be!

  • i totally agree but if we are honest, we can actually convince ourselves that we're beautiful or handsome. but just one stare or one rejection or one comment about your appeareance, kind of "not to sound rude, but..." will make all this body positive thoughts just disappear.
    so basically it's vicious circle.

    • Very true. Studies have even proven that it takes several positive comments just to change a persons mood from negative to neutral after they received one negative comment, which, is why we need to work towards being positive people who encourage each other. Thanks for reading!

  • Great article! Glad that it encompassed everyone and not just women also.

    • Thanks for reading and I definitely wanted to make sure it addressed all people because its so easy for men to become neglected as well.

    • Yes, very well said. You made every point that needed to be made.

  • Beautiful myTake. I really needed to read this. I hope you sleep well tonight knowing you helped someone feel better. :)

    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate you reading my Take! :)

  • Awww I love this! Very inspirational and true. Personally I hate the idea of bmi, because it always put me in the obese area, where I don't even look my weight (doctor concluded because of my muscle) and even when I was at a considered "healthy weight and almost considered underweight" of 130lbs I was still a size 10 in pants because of my bone structure so its always been really hard for me accepting myself when even though I loose weight I can never reach a size 4 or whatever. It takes time, it really does.

    • Same here!! According to the BMI, I'm overweight, but everyone says I look average and smaller than most people they know.

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    • Yeah, according to BMI, if I was 0% bodyfat at 155 lbs, I'd be considered borderline overweight. If I was 7% bodyfat at 170 lbs, I'd be considered overweight.

    • I was considered underweight for a long time but I had lots of muscle mass. Thank you all for reading!

  • This post hits the nail right on the head. I feel like people will shame people, regardless of their body type. I may be overweight, but that doesn't mean I'm unhealthy. It annoys me when people say that.
    AT one point, I was underweight, and people used to make fun of me all the time. But I gained weight, and now I feel healthier.

    I work out every day and eat whatever I want.

    • Yep, SAME! I used to get so many comments about being skinny in the past and it was so annoying and demeaning. The only reason I'm a decent weight now is because of exercersing and weight lifting. I do sometimes miss being smaller though, but I just want to be healthy!

    • Exactly!! People can be so mean and ignorant. Just forget them and do you!! Don't care about what others say. Easier said than done.

  • I do agree that body-shaming should stop.. however... to be over/under weight is NOT healthy. There are weight ranges that people are supposed to be in. A few pounds over/under isn't an issue. But I would think 10 pounds is.

    Everything else I agree with though.

    • BMI scale isn't always accurate. I used to be bone skinny but I was healthy and ate a ton. The weight just never came on. I'm not saying actually being over or under weight is always healthy but it isn't always unhealthy either. But like I said, we should strive to just be healthy instead of dwelling on the fat which can cause unhealthy habits.

    • Bmi is a terrible measurement no one uses anymore. Every health professional use bodyfat percentage, which is all that matters when it comes to weight.

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