How can I tell if a guy is inexperienced with women or just was not interested?

Question

i went over to a guy's place. First time meeting up. We got along great.. but he didn't make any advances sexually, not even kissing. We watched tv in his bed and shared a blanket, but when I turned to look at him at times and talk, I thought maybe he would try but he didn't. It took him like 5 hours (literally) until he rested his hand on my shoulder but only after I touched my leg against his. Is this inexperience, wanting to take it slow but experienced, or plain disinterest and he didn't want to touch me or something?

PhoenixItalian · Accepted Answer

It could be either one, society's recent glorification of playing it cool and acting uninterested has caused a lot of confusion, and when these petty rules aren't followed like in my case, occasional intimidation. The deviation from the perceived norm is almost always met with a reaction and it's rarely neutral. I say perceived norm since your perception may be that guys should make the first move and his is that he may come off as desperate or not playing it cool. Both are wrong and I'd argue that he's afraid of messing it up with you and that he likes you, simply because he did eventually put his arm on you which wouldn't have happened otherwise. Make a move on him, being a man doesn't necessarily make it easier to do so, it just means we're the one's expected to deal with the potential rejection and honestly the importance of timing and how perceptive we're required to be to her unreadable moods makes it quite difficult sometimes. Just do both of yourselves a favor and kiss his neck or something until he kisses you back, whisper something sexy in his ear if that's what you want.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

GIRLS!!! seriously gotta stop thinking guys have to do everything, and start making moves and show him what you want and feel. girls are so confusing to guys, and trust me. guys want to do things, but girls gotta give "the permission" first. otherwise a guy will risk looking stupid or doing something wrong that leads to a guy getting slapped or yelled at or coming on too strong, the list of "negative things" goes on. and guys dont want to risk being humiliated or worse rejected.

cth96190 · Answer

One of the frustrating and infuriating aspects of dealing with women is that, no matter what a man does, he will be held to be wrong, in the mind of a woman.
Take, for example, your experience.
Scenario A: He makes a move. You push him away, accuse him of being a borderline rapist and hiss that he and other men are 'after only one thing'.
Scenario B: He does not make a move, which leads to the sort of post that you have made in this forum.
No matter what the man did, he would have been 'wrong'.
This is one of a long list of reasons why a significant and increasing number of men are giving up on women and walking away.
In the case of the fellow with whom you shared a blanket, most likely he is either inexperienced, or is interested in you in a serious way and does not want you to accuse him of being after 'only one thing'.
Perhaps you should make the first move?

Anonymous · Answer

Probably nervous and/or shy. Women always expect the guy to make the first move and we have all the same thought and feelings you women do. You probably didn't help (ie you didn't do anything either right?) Why didn't you? This also wouldn't help with his thoughts or insecurities/shyness.

dazed15 · Answer

having read the poster's additional inputs, He seems to be wanting more than a one night stand, or he is a virgin, and wants to make 'losing it' count. count as in, he didn't just give it to any woman. intimate touching, more often than not, if the guy is following the woman's cues, ends in sex. if the woman, isn't confident in her cues, even though he wants her, may delay hoping for a clearer sign.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

some guys dont know their comfort zone can cause communicative resistance. The next time you meet up, better to go somewhere that puts you both out of your element. Thus the connection will be mutual. When im at home, im just going through routine motion so maybe talking with the tv on mute. Everyone is inexperienced in some facet, venture out

conkrete721 · Answer

It could go either way. I'm very experienced but I've had girls over and I didn't make a move. It could be that you are unsure of her body language, she isn't even getting close herself or you don't want it to be a one night thing.

It could also be inexperience as well too.

rjroy3 · Answer

Could be lack of experience. But I don't know the nature of your relationship. Like did he invite you over? Have you been flirting for awhile and this is the first one on one time you've had? Have you two been friends for awhile and now you're moving towards more? Those bits of information change things a bit.

i1T2daty · Answer

Tried to give you put. answer but impossible so I'll give you abridged. Guy inexperienced will be enthusiastic, make many mistakes but you know he's trying. Just as you feel a little pleasure, he'll come on you.

Not interested, maybe not fully hard, acts as if it's a chore, doesn't care about your orgasms and will come up with excuse to leave just after he comes

TheGingerAwakens · Answer

Next time you try make the first move. It ain't always up to the guy. He's probably just thinking the same things you are now wondering if you're even interested or not.

mpc007 · Answer

sounds like pure shyness. just put your hand on histoolbox

truthbeknown · Answer

If a guy isn't interested his attention is elsewhere, he isn't paying attention to you, doesn't care what you are saying. If he is simply inexperienced he will still stay fully locked on you and basically act awkward but attentive.

Casstiel · Answer

So basically you slept with a robot 😆 Well there is lots of possibilities don't hang out with him that's all 😊

USA2016 · Answer

Seems inexperienced. How do I know? Because that's probably exactly how I'd act haha

WalterRadio · Answer

Don't bother. Just find someone else. You'll be glad you did.

WorldState · Answer

some guys wait for girls to make the first move, because of that thing called sexual harassment.

Walrus_au · Answer

you could try talking to him/asking him...

WhoStoleMySock · Answer

Inexperience i. e. nerves, or he sees you as a friend?

Kachatterjee · Answer

He is inexperienced it seems

ShayanMortazavi1998 · Answer

I think he sees you as a friend

JSmuve · Answer

He's inexperienced.

Anonymous · Answer

he could be shy

How can I tell if a guy is inexperienced with women or just was not interested?

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How can I tell if a guy is inexperienced with women or just was not interested?

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