What gets a player to fall in love?

Player guys, answer! When I say player, I don't mean it in an offensive way- I just am generalizing the guys who are good looking, young (18-21) and dates many girls. and this intro might be really long, but please just hold on!

So I've been dating this guy for a few weeks, and I like him, but not enough to even be close for it to be called an attachment. We hook up every time we see each other, but it always stops at a certain point (I end it).

The other day, he was on the phone and when his friend asked him who he was with, he just said a friend. so, while we were kissing like there's no tomorrow I stopped and said "im just a friend rite?" and he answered with "no. a little more than that."

so that sums up what we have. a little more than friends. and I'm fine with that. we also talked about having an open relationship where we can hook up with other people. before, he would always get jealous about otehr guys and told me to stop fooling around with them, saying that it should only be him who I talk to. the other day, he said "whew I've been dying to tell you that (about open relatiosnip) now I think id be seeing you for longer"

and I am gonna make it clear- I'm fine with that. but why the sudden change?

when we were talking about the relationship thing, he said he's started being hard hearted ever since his last few girlfriends dumped him, and that's how all players start. he also said he likes keeping around girls he chased. I'm not someone he chased. when I told him I was really open about my feelings, he said I shouldnt be, because some guys like to be curious. that's himself implied, I'm guessing.

my question--

would he ever be able to think "this girls special" after a few more months of how we are now? or did we just start off on a bad start of no chase, whatsoever, therefore he wouldn't try to pursue me?

Also- what gets a player to fall in love? how wold girls be able to do that?
Why hasn't anybody answered this?!?!?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I'm getting married to a player! It's been a hard journey but I knew he was the one pretty early on. My advice to you would be, find out if your feelings for him are real or if you just like him because of the challenge? Friendship and understanding make the difference here. A guy like that does not easily give his trust to any woman. He needs to know that he means more to you than sex or looks. Yes he can have any woman but he will not give away his heart to just anyone anymore. But please know there is no way to make a man love you. You just have to be yourself but more importantly find out what you want in a relationship and what you will and will not accept. Then live your life by those standards. For example, If you want someone who is trustworthy then you must be trustworthy.

    My guy was a really bad commitment phobe but I never accepted anything less from him than what I felt I deserved. It was tough sometimes because we loved each other but he couldn't offer me a commitment and I couldn't accept that. We never even had a label for the past three years but in November he popped the question. He decided to make the ultimate commitment to me and I'm glad I didn't settle for anything less. I guess he had to get certain things out of his system and I gave him room to do so. I wouldn't want to be with him if he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me but through our friendship we really developed an incredibly strong bond.