Shy guys.. do you usually talk to the girl you like?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy I really like but he's pretty shy. He doesn't really talk to girls except for me. I usually initiate the conversations, but once I start we keep talking. He then asks me questions about myself. Sometimes he seems interested, and other times he won't even talk to me.. But then he always seems happy when I say I'm going to a party or function that he's going to too, or he wants to hang out (like in group settings).

Updates

+1 y

So what now? He likes me (I'm pretty sure..) What do I do now to let him know?) I don't want to scare him off.

[Vyxzuw]

Well, every guy is different, however, the thing to look for is if he treats you different then other girls.

Since you initiate the conversation, him responding isn't a sign he likes you. Unless he doesn't respond much when other girls try to talk to him... However, it is a sign he likes talking to you. (Note: think back to who initially approached who. If he initiated the first conversation with you, then he likes you...)

Him liking you being around could be because he likes you, or that at least someone at the party is someone he can talk to. (The question would be if you going to a party helps him decide whether to go to a party...)

The thing is that he could just be happy that someone likes to talk to him.

So, we need more info. First, observe how he interacts with other girls. You said he doesn't talk to them, but you also said you initiated the conversations. (Or most of them.) However, does he respond to them in the same way? In a group setting where there are more than one girl, does he respond to the other girls also?

What questions does he ask? Check to see if he is remembering what you say. Also think about if he seems to know things that you haven't discussed. (Which could mean he's asked about you.)

However, some shy guys think about how not to let the girl they like know they like them. (Yes this is stupid...) So he may always act in ambiguous ways.

You could try 'minor' flirting. Minor means things like touching his arm or saying that your happy that he's going to the party your going to. Minor isn't subtle body language which he will either not notice or will talk himself out of believing that it is flirting.

You also could hint at date situations he could use. Such as talking about a movie you would like to see or a concert. This lets him know that he could ask you to do these and you would say yes. (Also if he brings up a movie that's coming out, you could say that you would like to see that too, and maybe you could see it together...)

The thing is that he probably won't give any real signs he likes you until he figures out if you like him...

[Asker]

1) He initiated the first conversation ever with flirting and everything.

2) He showed up to the party by himself. No friends. I asked him first if he was going first. Then he said DEFINITELY if you are.

3) He responds to me differently than other girls. He talks to me the most.

4) He wants to what I like to do, he's always listening on other conversations. And when I'm not talking to him, he's looking at me.

5) I was mentioning a place I like to go. He said we should go there together soon.

[Vyxzuw]

Read the comment you wrote.

If a girls was asking you if a guy liked you and said he was doing the following, what would you tell her?

Cause those seem like 5 big signs he likes you. :)

[Asker]

Yeah. I guess you're right. It's just hard for me to believe he would like me. Wouldn't he "officially" have asked me out by now? That book "He's Just Not that Into You" says if he hasn't asked you out or called you he's just not that into you.

[Vyxzuw]

Well, technically he did try to ask you out. Just not very well.

See your number 5 in your comment.

Remember he's shy, so he probably doesn't know how to interact with girls very well.

The thing is, that shy guys are slow to open up, but are hard to scare off if you are sincere.

He's probably thought about you taking the lead several times.

However, it is always best if they guy takes the lead. He'll probably try his subtle flirting again. Just be responsive and flirty back.

[Vyxzuw]

And if he says you should go together somewhere, say you would like that.

Or if he wants to go to a party you are going to, say maybe you should go together...

[Asker]

Thanks. Yeah, that's what all my friends have been telling me. They all think he definitely likes me. I heard him talking to a friend of mine last night and he kept saying that he's only had one girlfriend before so he's not that experienced. While I have had 6 boyfriends in my life. And weird thing is, he's in the military so I wouldn't think he would be shy. He's told me he doesn't really have much of a social life because he's either doing PT or homework. Maybe he just wants a friend.

[Italikz]

I do talk to girls I like, but I don't let her know I like her unless she flirts. I can't start flirting, being shy and all, but I know when to make a move.

My shyness is more of a first impression shyness, and I'm gonna guess that this guy got past that, now he's probably thinking he likes you. You can't cut off a shy guy's air supply, if you constantly try initiating a conversation every 10 minutes, I'd imagine he's struggling to find something to reply with.

Drop hint's and he'll cave if he's anything like me.

[Anonymous]

He won't unless he somewhat knows you

[fleeble]

I don't know if this will still be relevant. I'm a shy guy, so my fiancee had to make it blatantly obvious that she liked me. After I was relatively sure she liked me, I angsted about it for a while wondering what the hell I was supposed to do, trying to think up ways to get her alone to ask and stuff and wondering how to hint at it to test the waters. Anyway, the point is, get him alone so he can ask. At least that's how it was for me, but maybe I'm just stupendously bad at this sort of thing; he might be smarter about it.

He probably gets excited when you go to a function because he thinks about how much he'd like to input his pointer into your arguments to evaluate the magnitude of the return value.

Sorry about that. What I meant was that it's much easier to justify talking to someone at a function because you don't have to make a blatant effort to communicate with someone, which could be viewed as revealing your feelings and potentially being rejected.

[raceface2]

I'm pretty shy when it comes to girls...I've never really been one to be a ladies man, so Its more of a cautious thing.

But, when I get to know a girl I kinda like, I usually don't talk to them as much as I do with other girl friends. I.e. I'm on a Divison I track and field program and I am pretty close with a girl. I kinda liked this other girl on the team, but I always joked around and talked more with the girl I was close with rather than the girl I liked. however, when this girl I liked told me she was going to a party, I made a point togo there.

[metaldave20]

i love talking to the girl I like, I may be shy, but when I get into a convo with her, I try to keep the convo going as long as need be, I however will not, until I get to know her better etc... talk to her when her friends are around, I'm not planning on dating the both of you, I shouldnt be meeting both of you at the same time

[Lostwithouther]

He obviously feels very comfortable with you. I know there are days where I just don't feel good and may brush people off it's not because he is shy. We all do it. Maybe those are the days you should check on him and prove you are there for him. See where it goes you may give him the confidence he needs to start the conversations. Hope it works out for the best.

[Adidas12]

Ok so he's interested in hanging out with you in a group setting, just not by yourselves right now, meaning you and him only. He just needs to feel comfortable around you around both your friends and then take it slowly and ask him out, or wait for him to ask you out. make sure you are going out as just friends the first time, then have at it after that.

[maximusprime]

If he's shy I'd say yeah he likes you. I try to talk to the girls I like, even if a lot of the time I'm too shy to say anything. I'd need her to flirt back a little and start to initiate contact before I'd open up to her a bit.

[doctorwhofan23]

I normally do not talk to girls I like because I am scared of what she will think. You should try and talk to him but make him comfortable with it. Try touching his arm or something.

[Kiet_Ngu]

FLIRT BACKKK

I DONT THINK ANY GUY WOULD REFUSE THAT

[mikeythetree]

Be annoying, and if he doesn't get mad or start being mean, there's a good chance he likes you and because of that he won't risk showing any negative behavior

[Asker]

Hmmm.. really? I would think that would be overbearing and it might scare him away. In that case, all the feelings he had for me might disaapear..

[MetalGirl14]

Yeah that's what I thought too...I have a guy who's shy and completely smitten with me and when I started poking his arm he was like "whaaaaat!!?" in an annoyed tone....but he didn't pull away now did he? Maybe he just doesn't like being poked or maybe I shoulda been gentler. Either way, my advice is If you do decide to be annoying, don't poke him....LOL