Shy guys tell me how you work?

[ConfuzzledChick]

I know there is a great article on this, but I'm looking for something more situation-specific. Get ready for a story!

I like this shy guy who usually sits next to me in a class. He barely makes eye contact with me, not sure if he does that to all girls, but he only looks me in the eye occasionally when I speak to him. He comes off as the quiet, cool type, so I don't know if he likes me because there are no verbal signs.

When I talk to him in class, sometimes he just looks down to his notes and doodles with concentration. I try to actively engage him in conversation during those times, but he continues to doodle. I sometimes catch him looking at me in class when I'm not paying any attention to him. Some people may take this as being nervous, but then again it could just be him being shy.

ON the other hand, I've asked him to hangout once or twice and the first time, he had studying to do and the second, he wanted to catch up on sleep because he pulled an all-nighter. Would a shy guy say no to a girl he likes when she asks to hangout? I hear that sometimes they're scared to blow chances or just scared to death in general. and on top of that, I fear rejection although I know if this were to get anywhere, I'd have to make the first move. But I'd like to know whether or not I'm setting myself up for rejection by reading some signs first. :( Halp!

[Dan2287]

Im extremely shy so hopefully this helps..

First, on the eye contact - it depends, I don't make eye contact unless she is talking to me. And when we are talking and she looks me in the eyes I look away. Holding eye contact is very difficult, and usually I don't make eye contact with any woman that is around me - ESPECIALLY a girl I find attractive. Hard to explain why this is, I guess its just to protect myself because if she catches me and is disgusted or offended id feel like complete CRAP.

I don't usually doodle or anything when talking to someone, but fiddle with things because I'm nervous. Like ill keep opening and closing my water bottle, moving papers around, take apart and put together my pen etc. Its mostly to let some of the nervous energy out.

As far as saying no to hanging out, it depends. I am socially phobic so I am probably a bit different than him - I have gotten better though. When it was really bad, if the girl I liked asked me to hang out, there is a chance id say no. This is because it's something I'm not used to happening - its out of the norm and to avoid an awkward situation id put it off. If she asked me to eat with her, id probably make up an excuse not to go because I have problems eating in public. Everytime I have gone with a woman to eat or whatever, she is the only one that ends up eating. Id also be afraid of being embarassed when we hang out and risk having her never talk to me again.

Now, however, I think for the most part I would want to hangout with the girl I liked if she ever asked me to. It would totally catch me off guard so I don't know for sure what id say, but I probably would want to.

[Wolf07]

This sounds like me when I was in high school. I had a crush on one of the prettiest girls in school and there were several opportunities that I could have hung out with her. I was so nervous though that I was afraid of rejection and that I would mess things up. My advice is to keep asking him if he wants to hang out and hopefully he'll come around. And I wouldn't say that you'll be setting yourself up for rejection. I would say that he is actually more afraid of rejection than you are. Good luck!

[brandonc308]

I would pass up sleeping or studying to hang out with the girl I like...

[Sethd98]

I'm really shy and every time I've been asked to go out with a girl I was mostly afraid of her friends more than neing nervous around her!