Do women say the opposite of what they actually mean?

this is more for the experts but you can answer too

a girl becomes interested in a guy, and the guy becomes interested in the girl, because they supposedly "instantly connected" the guy asks the girl for her number, and right after he gets her real number, she says to call him. is this a test? I have heard that girls test guys to see if they can get the idea, or did she really mean to call her?

cause I wound up calling her twice (once to get her my number, and once to say hi), with no callback either time

This question has a poll!

  • Yes, women do test their men, saying the opposite of what they actually mean Vote A
  • No, women mean what they say, and she really does want him to call Vote B
Updates:
feel free to explain, as well
btw, she just called, I didn't answer as to not make it seem desperate, she left a message..wanting to hang out
 

What's Your Opinion?

0/2000

What Experts Said

Most Helpful Opinion

  • See? This is what's wrong with people these days. We've become so focused on "not getting hurt" that we've completely forgotten how to dust ourselves off and move on gracefully (and in a healthy manner) if we do!

    First, stop with the game playing. Forget about "looking desperate." If I was her, and you answered the phone, I wouldn't have thought you were desperate. I would've thought "Oh, I'm so glad he answered after I didn't those first two times he called, now we don't have to play this agonizing game of phone tag!" BUT because she's probably playing "the game" as well, I'm sure that's why SHE didn't answer the two times you called. Ridiculous. You like each other, just leave it at that. You don't have to play all these neurotic mind games to prove it! NO wonder the divorce rate is going up. People are nuts... I'm moving to Canada!

    Second, unfortunately yes. Women (well, I know I sometimes do) say the opposite of what they mean. I think ultimately we want to see how hard a guy will work to pry the truth out of us. Simple as that. Working hard wins our affections.

    • 45d

      Yeap, this girl is like oh im busy sorry :/ or how about this time, but everytime in person is an absolutely different thing, they want a hard-worker who is not clingy haha, Canada!

    • 1mo

      Go Canada go!! =D

    • ^That's what I'm saying^

What Girls Said 44

  • 2d

    Ask her out say that you didn't get her message if she asks.

  • 21d

    I think she wants to get chased, but do not let her play you. Show her you're not that easy to get either.

  • 23d

    i guess it depends on the woman

  • 25d

    i just say what i mean... sometimes i can come across a bit cold if i don't like someone but would you prefer that or a fake number? but anyway as i said i just say what i mean.

  • 31d

    Sometimes they just want your number to know that it's you calling. So they can act accordingly to the situation.

  • 33d

    Why would women do that? Im a girl myself but i would never say the opposite to what i mean thats just stupid, im quiet honest and straight to the point and say what i mean

  • 42d

    Yes we learn it from each other. Little girls will hear stories from an older girls and when she grows up shell tell stories too, and the cycle continues:)

  • 50d

    Sometimes, women give their number out knowing they're not interested in the man. I'm guilty of doing this. I suggest you stop calling her and continue living your life as you Did before meeting her. If she's interested she'll return your call (s)

    • 35d

      to me that sounds very fucked up playin mind games like that no wonder I'm still single If us guys could just think like you girls we'd in happy as pig in mud

  • 52d

    İt is unnecessary
    i say what i mean.

  • 1mo

    you got her #. her telling you to call is not a test. if you had no intention of calling why would you ask for her #.

    this is why i never give out my #. or ask for a #. too many games. its bs.

    if you like her call her. if she plays games drop her.

    and if she does ply games se isn't every woman.

    and just about now you're playing games too, so it discredits your assertion -wrapped in question form- that women are dishonest bc you're playing games with one paticular woman.

    only way to find people who dont lay games is to not lower yourself. be honest and eventually you'll bump nto someone who appreciates it and doesn't want to waste your time bullshitting.

    treat her as though she's being honest. if she int you'll sort it out too enough. then leave.

    i dont see the point in trying to figure of if its a test since if it is you shouldn't bother with her...what would you do if you thought she WAS trying to test you.. would you play up to it?

    just be above board. shell either be glad and follow suite, or be more interested in playing games, than getting to know you, in which case she -hopefully- would not be someone you want to be involved with.

    • 35d

      IFI ask for a number It means I'll call her

  • 3mo

    Depends on the guy they are dating also depends on the mentality of the person

  • 3mo

    Well we give our numbers out to a lot of people and most of the time yes we do say the oppisite of what we actually mean and in this case sounds like she likes you or she would never ever ever call you.

  • 3mo

    Of course. We use reverse cycology a lot.

    • 1d

      Lol woah, what?

    • 3mo

      Loooooooooooooooool!! almost fell off my chair

    • 3mo

      Cycology? Is that the process of thinking whilst riding a bike?

  • 3mo

    In your case, she does seem interested, otherwise she would never call and you would probably not hear from her again...
    It depends on the girl though, and the situation. I'm really bad at not giving my number, still working on it, but I don't think I can really say "call me" seriously, like I mean it... If I'm interested, I might joke a bit "Okay, so now that you have my number, be sure to call, haha" or something along those lines but, if not, more likely the guy will say "Ok, I will call you!", and I'll just reply "sure, I'll be waiting", but in reality hoping he won't...

    To be honest, I think it's really easy to see the difference, in one you're giggling as an idiot, in the other you're smiling politely, yet guys never seem to pick it up. Maybe I should just be straightforward, but I got a bit scared of doing that after being insulted a couple of times. If anything, this apparently easy-going attitude only manages to attract the oblivious guys (being truly friendly isn't a good thing, guys probably think you're stupid or something) who are truly convinced they stand a chance with the super cool you, for some unknown reason.

    I'm sure other girls are fairing better (I hope so!), so they must have learned something that I didn't yet.

  • 3mo

    I think the problem is that SOME girls out there are playing this mind game saying no when they mean yes and MANY guys start to think that ALL girls say the opposite. This actually pisses me off sometimes because I speak my mind but I have had guys trying to tell me, "oh no, you didn't mean that. I know you mean blah blah blah." And I would be like, "No! I mean what I said. Why would I say that if I don't mean that?" That's driving me nuts.

  • 3mo

    I usually say what I mean. Then again I don't speak for every woman.

  • sometimes, but you really never know with females. theyre emotional

    • The thing is, maybe that's because they don't UNDERSTAND, so they overreact and act out

  • I really think this can vary from person to person because I know people on both sides.

  • I hear its quite common

  • it depends on the person, but girls want to make sure you like them. People are so fake these days that a guy will hit on a girl at a bar with NO INTENTION of actually talking to her again. He may be playing it up in front of his guys or just trying for attention or looking for the easiest girl at the club. Some men actually have good intentions while some want a one night stand every night of the week. (I have guy friends who do this!) I have asked why men in a crowd of attractive girls who are 10s, but will approach the 2 or 3 to ask them out. Its because they want a quick lay for the night and the 2 or 3 might be more likely to give it to them while the 10 has more standards and may want a relationship. You may have just asked that type of girl for her number for the first time and not sure what to do.

    • while the 10 has more standards and may want a relationship

      are most of the 10s like this?

  • Personally I would say girls tell the truth but not with words... you have to read their body language... that always tells the truth.

    • 35d

      someone needs to print a book on womens body language with pictures and saying so we know haha But that's BS just open your mouth and speak the truth yeah how hard can it be !!!

    • 3mo

      This is why rapists exist :D

    • 3mo

      that's it I'm gay

    • Show Older
  • girls. lie. sorry.

    • 35d

      we all lie to get what we want in life !!

    • 3mo

      Everyone lies whether it be silly white lies or full on lies, we all do.

    • 3mo

      Not all is girls or lady's lie okay some of us were taught to tell the truth

    • Show Older
  • Sometimeswe do other times not we will give you signs

    • 3mo

      why would i want to read signs when people can talk, would rather cut my wang off that read signs

  • There is no 'all girls' but

    I say exactly what I mean when I mean it, listen the first time and act accordingly ;)

    Don't play games. If she does, forget about her.

    Flirting is not playing with someone's emotions by making them freak out that you may not really like them . Gameplaying is just *oh so many bad things I can't list them all *

  • sometimes girls say things as a way to not let out all their emotions, such as, "i'm fine" "no it's okay, you can go out" or "i don't mind"

    however, when a girl asks you to call it means that she really is anticipating the call - some girls just aren't good at getting back to you!

    i'm glad she ended up calling back :)

  • well if she asked you to call her and you did but then she never answered then I don't think she really meant it because if she did she would have answered

    hope this helps :)

  • OMG, if you like her talk to her.. she is interested. It is sometime hard to tell if a girl is testing a guy but if you do get confuss talk it over with a close friend who is a girl. But, most girls usually test a guy when they are in a relationship with that boy. And no it will not make you look desperate, but it will show her that you are interest in her. Now if she tells you to call her but she calls you first that a plus for you, but do take it slow no girl like to be rush

    -hope this help

  • So pretty much...

    You failed the test.

  • yeah in fact they do.I have a major crush on you and I hope you live a long and happy life...

    : |

    • Forger sarcasm font, I think we need a SINCERITY font on the internet for those rare times people aren't being sarcastic.

    • Sorry couldn't help being sarcastic. >.>

  • wellll...hummmm do you hang with her she's probably board

  • if a guy asked for my number and I gave it to them, id ask them to call me, which means, call me, I'm not going to call you, if your interested, call me. I do say to opposite to what I mean to see if the guy cares enough for you to do the opposite. so yeah we're a mystery but you'll get over it :P

  • She's playing hard to get.

    When a girl tells a guy to call her, she wants him to.

    She wants HIM to call her, and not HER to call him, because, she wants to seem kinda hard to get. It's a girl thing. We don't wanna look desperate. We want guys to pursue us. And it's true that we look if the guy really likes us, he will call us. When you didn't answer her call, you could have triggered her thinking that maybe you didn't answer because you weren't that into her, or that your kind of a player or something. So that's why you didn't get a call back ethier time.. She might think that your playing with her or something. So that's when games begin. One plays hard to get, then the other one plays hard to get. Then things get complicated , if you know what I mean.

    Beleieve me; we looooove being persued. no girl would say '' I hate being perdued. I like to chase guys, instead . '' We wait for the guy to come to us.

    Trust me, if she wouldn't like you, I don't think the girl would ask you to call her.

    • 35d

      how soon should a guy ask for a girls number?

    • Only problem is a lot of girls don't seem to like a guy to seem desperate. What a lot of guys consider polite caring or romantic seems to scare a lot of women away. And then women wonder why men act like total dogs?

  • I don't understand the question.

    How is it a TEST to tell a guy to CALL.

    If not sincere it is a trick. A test would imply she CARED about the answer.

    If she cares enough to tell yo to call, then she said that so you would CALL.

    How is it a test. Like she wanted to know if you liked her enough to call her, but she did not really LIKE you, or really WANT you to call, then why would she even bother. I guess if that excites some people maybe they could go get a hobby or something.. Why mess around with a guy she has no interest in talking to.

    What if you turned out to be some psycho, & left so many messages she had to get a new voice box, or change her phone.

    She probably IKES you, & if not, well then she is freak for telling you to CALL.

    Do you get that SUSPICOUS of ALL girls, or was there something seemingly insincere about HER?

    I just noticed you said she called back.

    Do not do to HER, what you just wrote to US about HER doing to YOU.

    LOL... She will be on here about YOU, you will be on here about HER, & you all are going to confirm the myth that EVERYONE PLAYS GAMES...

    So do her, yourself & ALL of us a favor, & just CALL her when YOU feel comfortable... NOT, cause you WAITED long enough for her to think you are too busy & aloof , detached to bother considering her.

    Just treat people with respect, then you have the RIGHT to respect it, & if yo do not receive it, you never have to question the reason.. Life I much more logical & easy to understand that way.. You find if you keep being real, after a while you can answer questions yourself, the WORLD makes sense to YOU cause YOU make sense to the WORLD.

    hahaha, I just noticed this is more then a year ago.

    Oh well.

    :-)

  • when I do it, I think of it as a test. I tell them to call me

    just to see if they really are into me.

  • I say the opposite of what I mean to see if a guy cares enough.

    • Melissa, I feel sorry for you, you are obviously a controlling, manipulator who doesn't understand how to deal with her own emotions. You are likely to end up alone or settling for some guy you don't want: you'll wake up in your late 30's and realized that all the good guys left because of this BS. No self respecting man would put up with that crap. The problem these days is that too many females act like you. Ever wonder why guys have trouble approaching girls? it's because of idiots like you

    • Thats just what guys do, however, me personally, If I am hanging out with a girl I like, I will tell my friends straight up I'm with a girl. and most guys I know will do the same. But if it is just a guy you like and you guys are friends, and even worse if he doesn't know you like him, then he is going to leave you for his buddies. Knowing this, if you want to play that little stunt, which is idiotic to begin with, make sure its to a guy you are either talking to or dating.

    • The problem with doing that is that when a guy notices this, he will say something along the lines of, are you sure? I don't want to leave you hanging. and then the girl will be like, yeah its totally fine, go hang out with your friends, and even if the guy knows you are doing this to test him, he will stay say, alright and in an hour he will leave to chill with his friends, then the next day the girl is going to be upset, and cause some drama whether she realizes it or not.

    • Show Older
  • haha...how can you get an accurate answer from the girls here? You'll never know if they mean the opposite of what they say!

    • Haha, exaclty... when it's opposite day, it's not opposite day

    • LOL

  • yes, they do, but not all the time.

    for example. you and her have a fight and she tells you: "I don't want to see you again! I want you to leave right now!"

    your logical reaction would be to leave (she told you so anyway), but if you really leave, she will get upset with you.

    when she is angry she hopes you are going to try to calm her, to be nice to her and never do what she tells you :).

    • Me, and told me how she didn't want me to leave and started to apologize. I told her before she attacked me that I was sorry, and it was an accident, then I told her again afterwords to, so yeah kinda long, but just proved your point about why girls do it

    • Haha yeah, especially back when my ex and I were dating, she got so mad she told me to hit her. That I knew for a fact she didn't want.

      however one time we were tossing a bottle around. and since I'm a baseball player I didn't think I tossed it hard at all, but she thought I threw it as hard as I can... and I hit her in the head, she got mad start hitting on me. went to her room. and told me she hates me and never wanted to see me again. I got up walked out of the house, and she came running to get

  • Girls do test guys over and over again for self clarification and there partners, the second call though was partly a slip up you can't seem too intreged or we loose intrest

    • I test my partner too, if she tries to pull some stupid test on me she is out the door.

    • I don't think gender has anything to do with it, because I also test my partner. =P

      I see where you're getting at also.

    • If you test guys...thats completely and utterly f***ed up. Your playing games with them. No one wants to be manipulated or lied to.

  • Girls will not always say what they mean for 3 reasons:

    1. They don't want to hurt the guys feelings.

    2. Its a way we protect our emotions. Sometimes girls can't always tell guys what they REALLY mean because they are worried that they will be judged and that what they actually want to say will not come across well. Or sometimes its a situation where if the girl says how she really feels she could potentially get her heart broken. Really its a self-defense mechanism.

    3. A guy is creeping her out and she is just saying anything she has to to get him away from her.

    • Okay, so all of those still sound like excuses for lying by proxy. I have aspergers, and just... you know, MAYBE people would be better off if you were more honest with them. Then maybe those guys you think of as creepers would learn better tactics, and wouldn't be considered creepers.

      Be honest, it's all about number 2. You don't want to tell him the truth and be called a bitch, but the thing you're missing is if a guy would call you that for the truth then YOU AREN'T MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING

    • 4. all the above.

      ps. this girl is telling the truth!

  • No, I say what I mean.

    • this is a good example of a girl not meaning what she says

    • Hello Anonymous, I love you

  • Show More

What Guys Said 30

  • 17d

    after you get the number wait 2-3 days. no more or less.

  • 45d

    any person saying things to test another person is playing mind games and needs help. any healthy person will see this immediatly and run like hell.

  • 52d

    Why do people play these stupid games.

  • 52d

    The problem is more they don't even know what they mean themselves.

  • 2mo

    i guess it depends on the girl..

  • 3mo

    kick women in their vaginas cause they are very painful at kick with leg

  • 3mo

    60% of the time, they do this everytime

  • 3mo

    woman give thier number to anyone bit quite often change thier mind

  • It's called fitness testing.

    Women test you, consciously and subconsciously, aka "shit tests." Such as, how many of you men have had a date call at the last minute, and try to change the location or time? Or she was late?

    We all have. And we all know that the best thing to do is refuse to change the time/location, and if a girl is more than 15 minutes late and hasn't called, leave.

  • I really think it depends on the woman.

    For one - I've heard it depends on the woman.

    For 2 - I've never heard that.

    For 3 - They do like nice guys, usually after 25 when the jerks have hurt them and they learn they can't change the "bad boy" that treated them like crap.

    For 4 - I don't think that's true.

    For 5 - Women like some immaturity (goofyness) but like responsibility too. Diversify and be reasonable.

    For 6 - Rarely they do, but most DO NOT care, so long as the man loves them and "does something". What they don't want is a bum that does nothing or is perpetual college. They like ambition, determination, and somebody with dreams & goals. They also like those who spend time with them, & help with children.

    For 7 - They do need men if they want children. Many women also want to feel protected by a man.

  • She's elusive. She's probably one of the "walking wounded" who's been hurt in past relationships, or can't get the guys she's really attracted to to talk to her so she subconsciously sabotages or avoids potential relationships in the present. your association with her will be one of utter frustration She's a mixed messages queen. Save yourself some disappointment and don't get involved with her.

  • Okay, a lot of women play games. But there are some out there who don't. So what you have to do is figure out which women are playing games and which aren't. It's pretty easy to figure out as long as you don't play games.

    Women play this game because they don't want to seem to desperate. They want to make a guy work for them. Whatever. That's high school crap. If a real woman tells you to call her, she means to call her. No remember that real people also have real lives and real jobs and real bills to pay, so she may not answer because she's doing stuff. But she'll call you back, which she did.

    Best thing to do is be honest and straight up with her and tell her you don't play games.

  • don't trust nobody

  • YA MAXIMUM TIMES IT HAPPENS

  • With somethings yes, others know. The only times I've had a problem with this is getting a woman to be honest about her intentions in a relationship. If I want something casual, she'll pretend that she's not looking for anything long term. On the other hand, if I'm look for something more serious, she will say and do things that both imply and directly state that she sees things as long term.

    I often get flamed by girls saying "it's just because girls don't want to seem casual or they'll be labeled as sluts" or "girls don't want to look like they're just crazy and desperate for marriage and babies." Also, I'll get a girl telling me: "she just doesn't want to hurt you." It would hurt me more to find out that a girl who I had been seriously dating for months, who also said things leading towards a long term relationship just saw me is a fling. It also hurts when I find that a girl wanted things to be more serious or progress more quickly than they did. It hurts, because then I have to make the painful decision of whether or not to stick with such a, usually, good and sweet person. If I tell them to slow down, that would severely hurt, but it would have been avoided if they were honest.

    So like I said, many girls will lie about some things but not others. It's not a black and white yes or no. But then again, maybe I've just been dating the wrong girls.

  • neither answer is right.. yes they do test but its not about what they said to you, its how you respond ..

    • btw, don't "not pick up to not seem desperate".. your screwing up your chances if you continue playing games like that . just be honest and keep everything in the open and clear

  • bahahaha... looking at the poll

    girls guys

    A 25 73

    B 47 15

    it's either because most of the girls are saying the opposite of what they mean or guys don't get girls. I'm going to go with girls say the opposite of what they mean.

  • In that case,I think she mean to call him for sure.That is a test of a credit.

  • yes . I agree with what you said .sometimes the girls saying the opposite of what they actually mean.it doesn't mean that she didn't love you . they just want to satisfied their needing .

  • There was a study one time where some psychologists video taped women and men flirting. In the study they found that women when they flirt, its hard to distinguish whether they truly like the guy or not. But when guys flirt with girls its easier to spot the differences. So yes, women do say the opposite of what they mean sometimes. Some girls just like the attention. And some girls, when they like a guy will just flat out be blunt about it and say they like the guy and even initiate the texting and phone calling. Yet other women will like guys but won't budge until the guy makes his move.

    Basically I would just drop her a flirty text telling her who you are. Sometimes, if its your first time calling a girl, she won't pick up the phone. It has everything to do with the whole surprise of getting a random phone call from a stranger. (Before she knows its you whose calling) and you don't know what situation she's in (she could be taking a dump, sleeping, or in a class or at work) so the best thing to do when getting a number is to wait a day or two then drop a flirty text reminding her who you are by mentioning something special in the initial conversation you shared with her, it will give her time to think of what to say and won't catch her in awkward situations. Of course after writing all this, I just realized your question was from a year ago so now I feel like dork for commenting on it. Sorry, hope things worked out with you two.

  • YES, they never say what they mean. Especially when they're PMSing!

  • this is mostly found in married women. Because they have nothing to lose & also if the hubby is a nut. Shy girls some times say no, but they mean it because they are afraid/shy. Under such case one should make repreated request and usually girls oblige to the request(say for kiss or intercourse).

  • Ya Women do test guys all the time

    some of them don't even realize it ,but its just a part of growing up,it becomes second nature to them.

    As far as girls saying opposite of what they mean is concerned:

    Women are emotional creatures.what they feel now,the next moment they may feel completely different.

    eg:

    When a girl says "NO" the first time,its just that she is not emotionally charged up to say yes.

    "NO" means "NOT YET".You change her mood and try again ,u get a yes.Its quite funny though.

    When you ask her what kinda guy she likes?she'll reply a nice guy,who treats me like a princess ,...blah..blah...blah.

    but the very next day you can find her flirting with the jerk/badboy.

    this is because the nice guy isn't able to produce those emotional spikes that the jerk does.

    when you ask her why she fell for him?she'll be like "i donno,it just happened".

    women are not to blame for the same because its just hardwired into their DNA just like we are hardwired to have as many sexual partners as we can.

  • IMO: Girls say the opposite of what they really mean UNLESS you really want them to mean the opposite of what they say IN WHICH CASE they mean what they say. Clear? No, me neither.

  • Hi guys and girls, I can explain to some extent why this happens, as I am a dating coach in real life.

    On the "Do women test guys" subject this is what I can say:

    Men are stronger (physically) then most women, men are logical beings.

    Girls are stronger (emotionally) then most men, women are emotional beings.

    In the world we live in today, lots of men have a set of "techniques" and gimmicks that get women for him. Some men are very good at manipulating, others at disguising, others at conveying to people a totally different person then who they really are.

    So, knowing these things, women HAVE to test men. Basically, because they need to find out if the man they just met is the REAL THING or just another FAKE.

    For all a woman knows, the man can turn out to be a serial killer, axe murderer, rapist or even a stalker. So, in order to protect themselves and their feelings, they TEST men.

    It really isn't that hard to understand once you get these principles.

  • No woman state the truth of the exact moment. Where men claim rationally they decide what is true and what is not and stick to it woman FEEL what is the truth of the moment. If she says she never wants to see you again in all truth that is what she was felling at the moment.

    • I agree.

    • This is the only true answer on here, sorry you got one down

  • Girls and guys both do it,so it ain't just girls.

    Peace!

  • Depends on situation and the girl, there is no rule for girls. But usually I don't lost the opportunity, I think you should pay attention to the conversation in the call, may be you will get the answer.

  • yea some times we do

  • It really depends on what kind of personality the girl has like if she's lets loose and has a lot of fun no they will not but a shy girl might,"say don't call me' but she wants to talk to you alone with no one around

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