Do women say the opposite of what they actually mean?

this is more for the experts but you can answer tooa girl becomes interested in a guy, and the guy becomes interested in the girl, because they supposedly "instantly connected" the guy asks the girl for her number, and right after he gets her real number, she says to call him. is this a test? I have heard that girls test guys to see if they can get the idea, or did she really mean to call her?cause I wound up calling her twice (once to get her my number, and once to say hi), with no callback either time

This question has a poll!

  • Vote A Yes, women do test their men, saying the opposite of what they actually mean
  • Vote B No, women mean what they say, and she really does want him to call
Updates:
feel free to explain, as well
btw, she just called, I didn't answer as to not make it seem desperate, she left a message..wanting to hang out

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What Experts Said

Most Helpful Opinion

  • See? This is what's wrong with people these days. We've become so focused on "not getting hurt" that we've completely forgotten how to dust ourselves off and move on gracefully (and in a healthy manner) if we do! First, stop with the game playing. Forget about "looking desperate." If I was her, and you answered the phone, I wouldn't have thought you were desperate. I would've thought "Oh, I'm so glad he answered after I didn't those first two times he called, now we don't have to play this agonizing game of phone tag!" BUT because she's probably playing "the game" as well, I'm sure that's why SHE didn't answer the two times you called. Ridiculous. You like each other, just leave it at that. You don't have to play all these neurotic mind games to prove it! NO wonder the divorce rate is going up. People are nuts... I'm moving to Canada!Second, unfortunately yes. Women (well, I know I sometimes do) say the opposite of what they mean. I think ultimately we want to see how hard a guy will work to pry the truth out of us. Simple as that. Working hard wins our affections.

    • ^That's what I'm saying^

    • Show Older
    • 3mo

      Yeap, this girl is like oh im busy sorry :/ or how about this time, but everytime in person is an absolutely different thing, they want a hard-worker who is not clingy haha, Canada!

    • 21d

      Don't get your hopes up. Its the same in Canada... Lmao

What Girls Said 58

  • 2mo

    i guess it depends on the woman

  • I hear its quite common

  • I usually say what I mean. Then again I don't speak for every woman.

  • I really think this can vary from person to person because I know people on both sides.

  • haha...how can you get an accurate answer from the girls here? You'll never know if they mean the opposite of what they say!

    • LOL

    • Haha, exaclty... when it's opposite day, it's not opposite day

  • you got her #. her telling you to call is not a test. if you had no intention of calling why would you ask for her #.
    this is why i never give out my #. or ask for a #. too many games. its bs.
    if you like her call her. if she plays games drop her.
    and if she does ply games se isn't every woman.
    and just about now you're playing games too, so it discredits your assertion -wrapped in question form- that women are dishonest bc you're playing games with one paticular woman.
    only way to find people who dont lay games is to not lower yourself. be honest and eventually you'll bump nto someone who appreciates it and doesn't want to waste your time bullshitting.
    treat her as though she's being honest. if she int you'll sort it out too enough. then leave.
    i dont see the point in trying to figure of if its a test since if it is you shouldn't bother with her...what would you do if you thought she WAS trying to test you.. would you play up to it?
    just be above board. shell either be glad and follow suite, or be more interested in playing games, than getting to know you, in which case she -hopefully- would not be someone you want to be involved with.

    • 3mo

      IFI ask for a number It means I'll call her

    • 1mo

      if you want to determine if a person is being honest or deceptive you mist be honest and dal clearly with them. the truth will unfold quickly.

      if you ply games you'll never know where truth starts and lies end.

  • Depends on the guy they are dating also depends on the mentality of the person

  • In your case, she does seem interested, otherwise she would never call and you would probably not hear from her again...
    It depends on the girl though, and the situation. I'm really bad at not giving my number, still working on it, but I don't think I can really say "call me" seriously, like I mean it... If I'm interested, I might joke a bit "Okay, so now that you have my number, be sure to call, haha" or something along those lines but, if not, more likely the guy will say "Ok, I will call you!", and I'll just reply "sure, I'll be waiting", but in reality hoping he won't...
    To be honest, I think it's really easy to see the difference, in one you're giggling as an idiot, in the other you're smiling politely, yet guys never seem to pick it up. Maybe I should just be straightforward, but I got a bit scared of doing that after being insulted a couple of times. If anything, this apparently easy-going attitude only manages to attract the oblivious guys (being truly friendly isn't a good thing, guys probably think you're stupid or something) who are truly convinced they stand a chance with the super cool you, for some unknown reason.
    I'm sure other girls are fairing better (I hope so!), so they must have learned something that I didn't yet.

  • Girls will not always say what they mean for 3 reasons:1. They don't want to hurt the guys feelings.2. Its a way we protect our emotions. Sometimes girls can't always tell guys what they REALLY mean because they are worried that they will be judged and that what they actually want to say will not come across well. Or sometimes its a situation where if the girl says how she really feels she could potentially get her heart broken. Really its a self-defense mechanism. 3. A guy is creeping her out and she is just saying anything she has to to get him away from her.

    • 4. all the above.ps. this girl is telling the truth!

    • Okay, so all of those still sound like excuses for lying by proxy. I have aspergers, and just... you know, MAYBE people would be better off if you were more honest with them. Then maybe those guys you think of as creepers would learn better tactics, and wouldn't be considered creepers.Be honest, it's all about number 2. You don't want to tell him the truth and be called a bitch, but the thing you're missing is if a guy would call you that for the truth then YOU AREN'T MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING

  • 10d

    Personally, I say exactly what I mean because I want people to clearly understand me and what I mean. I like being straight forward with people. Some women may like to play games now and then, but I won't. It just depends on the woman because we're all different in different ways.

  • Well we give our numbers out to a lot of people and most of the time yes we do say the oppisite of what we actually mean and in this case sounds like she likes you or she would never ever ever call you.

  • 10d

    If I said that I would want him to call. I don't test people on stupid crap like that.

  • 3mo

    Why would women do that? Im a girl myself but i would never say the opposite to what i mean thats just stupid, im quiet honest and straight to the point and say what i mean

  • 3mo

    İt is unnecessary
    i say what i mean.

  • sometimes girls say things as a way to not let out all their emotions, such as, "i'm fine" "no it's okay, you can go out" or "i don't mind"however, when a girl asks you to call it means that she really is anticipating the call - some girls just aren't good at getting back to you!i'm glad she ended up calling back :)

  • girls. lie. sorry.

  • Sometimeswe do other times not we will give you signs

    • why would i want to read signs when people can talk, would rather cut my wang off that read signs

  • There is no 'all girls' butI say exactly what I mean when I mean it, listen the first time and act accordingly ;)Don't play games. If she does, forget about her.Flirting is not playing with someone's emotions by making them freak out that you may not really like them . Gameplaying is just *oh so many bad things I can't list them all *

  • So pretty much...You failed the test.

  • I say the opposite of what I mean to see if a guy cares enough.

    • What does that accomplish exactly? besides letting him know that your full of sh*t some of the time? cus that's how id feel.

    • Show Older
    • Thats just what guys do, however, me personally, If I am hanging out with a girl I like, I will tell my friends straight up I'm with a girl. and most guys I know will do the same. But if it is just a guy you like and you guys are friends, and even worse if he doesn't know you like him, then he is going to leave you for his buddies. Knowing this, if you want to play that little stunt, which is idiotic to begin with, make sure its to a guy you are either talking to or dating.

    • Melissa, I feel sorry for you, you are obviously a controlling, manipulator who doesn't understand how to deal with her own emotions. You are likely to end up alone or settling for some guy you don't want: you'll wake up in your late 30's and realized that all the good guys left because of this BS. No self respecting man would put up with that crap. The problem these days is that too many females act like you. Ever wonder why guys have trouble approaching girls? it's because of idiots like you

  • yes, they do, but not all the time.for example. you and her have a fight and she tells you: "I don't want to see you again! I want you to leave right now!"your logical reaction would be to leave (she told you so anyway), but if you really leave, she will get upset with you.when she is angry she hopes you are going to try to calm her, to be nice to her and never do what she tells you :).

    • Haha yeah, especially back when my ex and I were dating, she got so mad she told me to hit her. That I knew for a fact she didn't want.however one time we were tossing a bottle around. and since I'm a baseball player I didn't think I tossed it hard at all, but she thought I threw it as hard as I can... and I hit her in the head, she got mad start hitting on me. went to her room. and told me she hates me and never wanted to see me again. I got up walked out of the house, and she came running to get

    • Me, and told me how she didn't want me to leave and started to apologize. I told her before she attacked me that I was sorry, and it was an accident, then I told her again afterwords to, so yeah kinda long, but just proved your point about why girls do it

  • 8d

    Yes sometimes when they are try to ignore someone.

  • 17d

    Yessssssssss. Totally

  • 1mo

    Apparently she's into you duhh! Try and see what happens and if it doesn't work then you'll cross that bridge when it comes. by the way most women mean what they say unless they're a game player.

  • 2mo

    Ask her out say that you didn't get her message if she asks.

  • 3mo

    Yes we learn it from each other. Little girls will hear stories from an older girls and when she grows up shell tell stories too, and the cycle continues:)

  • Personally I would say girls tell the truth but not with words... you have to read their body language... that always tells the truth.

    • ^this

    • Show Older
    • This is why rapists exist :D

    • 3mo

      someone needs to print a book on womens body language with pictures and saying so we know haha But that's BS just open your mouth and speak the truth yeah how hard can it be !!!

  • if a guy asked for my number and I gave it to them, id ask them to call me, which means, call me, I'm not going to call you, if your interested, call me. I do say to opposite to what I mean to see if the guy cares enough for you to do the opposite. so yeah we're a mystery but you'll get over it :P

  • Girls do test guys over and over again for self clarification and there partners, the second call though was partly a slip up you can't seem too intreged or we loose intrest

    • If you test guys...thats completely and utterly f***ed up. Your playing games with them. No one wants to be manipulated or lied to.

    • I don't think gender has anything to do with it, because I also test my partner. =PI see where you're getting at also.

    • I test my partner too, if she tries to pull some stupid test on me she is out the door.

  • 37d

    All females are genetically programmed to fall for guys who try the hardest for us. So yes, at some times, we say the opposite of what we really mean. But we dont do it to start arguments, at least not all the time, but to see if you care enough to ask for the truth

    • 28d

      all i see is a bunch of genetic bullshit coming out of your mouth

    • 16d

      ^ yep totaly

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What Guys Said 42

  • bahahaha... looking at the poll girls guysA 25 73B 47 15it's either because most of the girls are saying the opposite of what they mean or guys don't get girls. I'm going to go with girls say the opposite of what they mean.

  • 60% of the time, they do this everytime

  • 3mo

    The problem is more they don't even know what they mean themselves.

  • There was a study one time where some psychologists video taped women and men flirting. In the study they found that women when they flirt, its hard to distinguish whether they truly like the guy or not. But when guys flirt with girls its easier to spot the differences. So yes, women do say the opposite of what they mean sometimes. Some girls just like the attention. And some girls, when they like a guy will just flat out be blunt about it and say they like the guy and even initiate the texting and phone calling. Yet other women will like guys but won't budge until the guy makes his move. Basically I would just drop her a flirty text telling her who you are. Sometimes, if its your first time calling a girl, she won't pick up the phone. It has everything to do with the whole surprise of getting a random phone call from a stranger. (Before she knows its you whose calling) and you don't know what situation she's in (she could be taking a dump, sleeping, or in a class or at work) so the best thing to do when getting a number is to wait a day or two then drop a flirty text reminding her who you are by mentioning something special in the initial conversation you shared with her, it will give her time to think of what to say and won't catch her in awkward situations. Of course after writing all this, I just realized your question was from a year ago so now I feel like dork for commenting on it. Sorry, hope things worked out with you two.

  • Ya Women do test guys all the timesome of them don't even realize it ,but its just a part of growing up,it becomes second nature to them.As far as girls saying opposite of what they mean is concerned:Women are emotional creatures.what they feel now,the next moment they may feel completely different.eg:When a girl says "NO" the first time,its just that she is not emotionally charged up to say yes."NO" means "NOT YET".You change her mood and try again ,u get a yes.Its quite funny though.When you ask her what kinda guy she likes?she'll reply a nice guy,who treats me like a princess ,...blah..blah...blah.but the very next day you can find her flirting with the jerk/badboy.this is because the nice guy isn't able to produce those emotional spikes that the jerk does.when you ask her why she fell for him?she'll be like "i donno,it just happened".women are not to blame for the same because its just hardwired into their DNA just like we are hardwired to have as many sexual partners as we can.

  • 2mo

    When a women say this, does she mean it?:

    Women say that size doesn't matter.
    Women say they don't like sex.
    Women say they like nice guys
    Women say that they don't care how much money a man makes

  • Okay, a lot of women play games. But there are some out there who don't. So what you have to do is figure out which women are playing games and which aren't. It's pretty easy to figure out as long as you don't play games.Women play this game because they don't want to seem to desperate. They want to make a guy work for them. Whatever. That's high school crap. If a real woman tells you to call her, she means to call her. No remember that real people also have real lives and real jobs and real bills to pay, so she may not answer because she's doing stuff. But she'll call you back, which she did.Best thing to do is be honest and straight up with her and tell her you don't play games.

  • With somethings yes, others know. The only times I've had a problem with this is getting a woman to be honest about her intentions in a relationship. If I want something casual, she'll pretend that she's not looking for anything long term. On the other hand, if I'm look for something more serious, she will say and do things that both imply and directly state that she sees things as long term.I often get flamed by girls saying "it's just because girls don't want to seem casual or they'll be labeled as sluts" or "girls don't want to look like they're just crazy and desperate for marriage and babies." Also, I'll get a girl telling me: "she just doesn't want to hurt you." It would hurt me more to find out that a girl who I had been seriously dating for months, who also said things leading towards a long term relationship just saw me is a fling. It also hurts when I find that a girl wanted things to be more serious or progress more quickly than they did. It hurts, because then I have to make the painful decision of whether or not to stick with such a, usually, good and sweet person. If I tell them to slow down, that would severely hurt, but it would have been avoided if they were honest.So like I said, many girls will lie about some things but not others. It's not a black and white yes or no. But then again, maybe I've just been dating the wrong girls.

  • Girls and guys both do it,so it ain't just girls.Peace!

  • 28d

    i wouldn't say that she is testing you just didn't call back and stop doing all these stupid games of not wanting to seem desperate she was probably doing something and her phone was in her room then she called you when she saw your missed calls

  • 1mo

    most women don't know what they want so yes they do say things for no reason

  • 1mo

    The test is only there if your presence needs testing. Know that for now the tests will be there but as you begin to become more evolved and. overcome some of your fears your prescense will naturally portray that. At that point it doesn't matter what you say because your presence is enough to create the sexual arch of polarity between masculine and feminine

  • woman give thier number to anyone bit quite often change thier mind

  • YES, they never say what they mean. Especially when they're PMSing!

  • this is mostly found in married women. Because they have nothing to lose & also if the hubby is a nut. Shy girls some times say no, but they mean it because they are afraid/shy. Under such case one should make repreated request and usually girls oblige to the request(say for kiss or intercourse).

  • IMO: Girls say the opposite of what they really mean UNLESS you really want them to mean the opposite of what they say IN WHICH CASE they mean what they say. Clear? No, me neither.

  • Depends on situation and the girl, there is no rule for girls. But usually I don't lost the opportunity, I think you should pay attention to the conversation in the call, may be you will get the answer.

  • 3d

    theyll say no... but thats the oppisite yes they do

  • yes . I agree with what you said .sometimes the girls saying the opposite of what they actually mean.it doesn't mean that she didn't love you . they just want to satisfied their needing .

  • Hi guys and girls, I can explain to some extent why this happens, as I am a dating coach in real life.On the "Do women test guys" subject this is what I can say:Men are stronger (physically) then most women, men are logical beings.Girls are stronger (emotionally) then most men, women are emotional beings.In the world we live in today, lots of men have a set of "techniques" and gimmicks that get women for him. Some men are very good at manipulating, others at disguising, others at conveying to people a totally different person then who they really are.So, knowing these things, women HAVE to test men. Basically, because they need to find out if the man they just met is the REAL THING or just another FAKE.For all a woman knows, the man can turn out to be a serial killer, axe murderer, rapist or even a stalker. So, in order to protect themselves and their feelings, they TEST men.It really isn't that hard to understand once you get these principles.

  • No woman state the truth of the exact moment. Where men claim rationally they decide what is true and what is not and stick to it woman FEEL what is the truth of the moment. If she says she never wants to see you again in all truth that is what she was felling at the moment.

    • This is the only true answer on here, sorry you got one down

    • I agree.

  • 7d

    nt really, actually women ain't straight and they can do the undoing

  • 18d

    Yes they do especially when they are angry or playing hard to get

  • 33d

    I have learned that women will do a little of both. Sometimes they are shy and will say the opposite because they may have their own opinions and want to hear the guys. Sometimes they tell the honest truth to see if us, dumb men will realize and make sure our answer is correct. If we pick the wrong answer, then women have the right to take away what us men love most, even if its just for a few days. That's torture. In conclusion, whatever a woman says, no matter what, just give her the answer that she would probably want you to say as not to make her mad and take away your fun button.

  • In that case,I think she mean to call him for sure.That is a test of a credit.

  • yea some times we do

  • 1mo

    if the girl really like the guy, she say no that mean yes, or, it means what they say. i am a new one, maybe , a lot of mistakes in my sentence. i hope someone can help me. thanks!

  • 1mo

    Well if I felt we were both that interested I would've called her on the spot so she'd have my number to begin with lol. Then we could chat it up in stereo and have a good laugh and I'd be like... sooo how bout lunch tomorrow and a movie? LOL

  • 2mo

    after you get the number wait 2-3 days. no more or less.

  • 3mo

    any person saying things to test another person is playing mind games and needs help. any healthy person will see this immediatly and run like hell.

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