Why is it so bad being a big girl?

[Anonymous]

My best friend and I have been friends since Middle School and back then she weighed 245 pounds or more.

We're in our Junior year of High School now and with her determenation and the help of people who care for her she has lost weight.

My friend now weighs 183 pounds and she is still loosing, yet there is a problem.

Guys are now continously asking her out and to be honest it's depressing her.

The reason that she is depressed by something that would make almost any girl happy is the fact that she is realizing how shallow guys around her are.

And I perfectly agree with her and see it to. The guys who once rejected her because of her weight now want to be with her after she lost it.

I think it's a loud of bull, since she was pretty even before she lost weight.

I never knew what it was like for her since I have never been big, but now that I am seeing things through her eyes I feel angry.

What is wrong with being a big girl?

Why do guys/girls find it unappealing?

My friend is loosing weight and it makes me happy that she worked so hard to get where she is now.

Yet seeing her sad because of some guys who couldn't except her for who she was before is making me sad also.

I'm at least happy that she rejected those jerks and I hope she finds a guy who likes her for her.

But in the end what do you think about dating a bigger girl?

Or what is your expierence when dating a bigger girl?

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that losing weight isn't usually a purely physical transformation.

I've lost a lot of weight and it has changed the way people react to me (not just guys wanting to date me more, but girls wanting to be my friend as well). At first I felt kind of down about it---why would people like me more now that I'm thin than when I was a lot bigger? But then I realized that my size wasn't the only thing that changed about me:

- I was more confident, so I carried myself differently. I spent more time on my overall appearance (dressing nicely (which was kind of hard to do when I was limited to plus-size clothing), doing my hair and make-up nicely). I was less shy about the way I looked which translated into being more friendly and outgoing. When I was bigger, I was more closed off to people, but after losing weight, I felt more able to open up. I felt more confident talking to people, and had less fear that people would judge me based on my weight, so essentially I "put myself out there" more than when I was bigger.

- I was more active. I liked going out to the bar dancing, going for walks, hikes, and runs, going rollerskating, being out in public more. When I was bigger, I spent more time inside or doing things that were relatively inactive. A lot of people want a partner who is active and likes doing things because they want someone who shares their interests.

I still think that some of it was superficial----people found me more attractive when I was thin than when I was bigger. But I also looked a lot healthier, acted a lot healthier, and was more outgoing, friendly, and approachable.

[missjustina]

I don't think there's anything wrong with bigger girls. Where I'm from more guys go for them then they go for me /:

but the main reason I think is that a guy doesn't want to date a woman that weighs more than him, just like you wouldn't want to date a guy who weighed less than you as harsh as that sounds..

But congrats to her (: you should be very proud of her.

[snackeyg]

245 isn't much smaller then me and she's probably shorter too. It's not being shallow. It's just most people don't like that big of a girl. Physically someone isn't even supposed to be that weight to be healthy. Hell I'm fat and still found someone that thinks I'm hot. She shouldn't be depressed now that guys want here. They're being normal human beings and going for what attracts them. If she can't accept that she's gonna be sad and alone for ever.

I would never date a girl that size. 183 sure. 245. Nope. Sex appeal just disappears completely once a girl hits BBW status.

Sorry if I sounded harsh at all, but I'm being realistic. Good luck finding a guy that likes a girl that size. They're rare. 183 is still way too big to a lot of guys but I'm fine with that size.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Would you date a man who is 4'8" bald and has a 2" penis? Society says it is perfectly okay to make jokes about that guy, but men are supposed to treat every big girl like she's Aphrodite incarnate? Hard pass.